She's Done WELL!!!

VERY well. S has been in big girl undies all week. We went to pick up J today (4 hours round trip) and we had NO accidents!!! When we got home she and J went to play with T and when she came RUNNING in she had just a little in her pants but went a TON more on the toilet. Sorry, I know this is graphic but after 9 years of changing her diapers this is a HUGE success.

J was glad to be home. He said to T "Didn't you miss me,boy?" He was down there all afternoon. They (T&V) came over for dinner tonight and then we took them and ours to meet up with L&E (&Co) to watch fireworks. (Parky's last blast) And finally ice-cream for the ride home. So I think J's re-entry was a good one. :-)

I'm so hoping that we've seen the end of pull-ups. I don't mind doing it at night. We'll tackle that one later. But as of right now I think she's good to go for undies at school. They may have to *nudge* her strongly to go but I think it can be done!

10 Reasons to give thanks for you child with special needs.

Thanks again to my fun little friend, Nancy for sharing stuff she finds:

1. You never have to worry about worrying over nothing.
Let other parents obsess over the frivolous and the shallow. Your child will make sure you always have something worth to worry about.

2. Developmental delays = more years of hugs, kisses and little-kid sweetness.
My 13 year old still wants to sit on my lap, give me hugs, and tell me he loves me. What Mom of a sullen teen doesn't secretly wish for the same?

3. Maybe someday, Ty Pennington will come build you a house.
He, Extreme Makeover; Home Edition loves families of children with special needs. Your little one may be your ticket to a lavish living space.

4. Any little milestone is a cause to throw a party.
Your child works hard for every step, sit up and syllable, giving you lots to be excited about. (Boy don't I know it - ever heard of a poop party???)

5. Every day is a learning experience.
Somedays it's a pop quiz, somedays it's a crash course, but life with your child is always an education, for sure.

6. You have the privilege of putting severl doctors' children through college.
After paying for all those appointments, you may feel like a one-family scholarship foundation. Put your child's name on some letterhead and take pride.(ok, I almost spit on myself. If this isn't the truth!! I just may do this.)

7. You meeet a better class of parent in waiting rooms and support groups.
Your child frees you from having to hang out with those snotty parents on the playground, and gives you entry into an exclusive club of people who are sensitive, sarcastic, and sure of their priorities. (and all waiting rooms turn into support groups)

8. You have an iron-clad escape excuse for any occasion.
You'd love to stay at that boring party, crowded event, endless church service, but you know, your child just can't tolerate it. (And sometimes it's you who can't tolerate it --- who's to know?)

9. Coming up with new strategies every day keeps your brain sharp.
They say doing crossword puzzles helps ward off Alzheimer's. Figuring out your child's schedules and treatments and lessons and rights and restrictions must easily provide twice the protection. (I figure I'm home free on the "you've suffered enough" scale)

10. Your blessing will always be fully counted.
Other parents may take the gifts that their children bring for granted. Not you. Not EVER. (Sing it sistah! You sure got that right!!!)

My "CRAPPY" Week

We started on Monday with an enema. Today we did a suppository. All the while I fill her full of laxative and Metamucil type stuff. S did VERY good yesterday. Today - not so well. We've had about 3 poopy pants and one was WAY bad. She's still trying to hold it. I can see what the Dr meant when he said it would probably take around 3 months or so. But I tell you - I was really hoping yesterday was the start of something GREAT! Oh well, one step forward - 2 back - what else is new.

So my day is spent following herself around and being on poop watch. She really does seem to thrive on the attention. Between her talking CONSTANTLY and the endless drivel of kid's cartoons - I'm just about ready for the rubber room.

S slept in J's room last night. She put her Spongebob in her bed and started the tape and then went to J's room. She's so funny.

J is having a good time. We talked to him on the phone today. He went with Mom and Lois yesterday to get her treatment. I guess he did VERY well. Not sure what was on their agenda today.

Tilt A -- a a a arrrrggghhhhh!!!!!

J had a BLAST on all the rides - S was a little more "reserved". They got to ride about an hour before the rain came in. That stunk. We got something to eat and watched it rain for a while before calling it a day.

T&V came over. That made J happy. They played computer and "school".

I took J down 1/2 way on Sunday. Ran in to TORRENTIAL rain! Lord, it was bad. J read to me on the way and we sang. It always amazes him "how do you know that song?" He just refuses to believe that his Mom was once pretty hip. :-)

So it was S and I on Sunday night. B had to work the fest. We played Mancala and while we were playing B called and invited us to an ice-cream and a lemon-aid shake up. So at 9:00 we ventured out in the rain and had a sweet snack. :-)

S seems to really like the one on one attention. It's so nice to be able to have one of them go and concentrate on the other.

All 9 Rounds

That's what J's lip looks like. He got about 9 stitches last night. At camp they were playing tag and he landed in the bleachers. I didn't think it looked too bad - until he moved the gauze a different way and I saw MEAT hanging. Ugghh. So we headed to BMC and they put in stitches. He did SO well. He fell asleep in the waiting room and then when the 3 inch needle came in he didn't even freak - until they inserted it - but he didn't even need a papoose or to be held down. I was VERY proud.

Dr G (dentist) got him in this morning. Looks like he lost a couple of teeth (the counselors only gave me one tooth) and there's one more VERY loose. But Dr didn't seem too concerned. "Kids are palpable, their bones are soft for a reason" :-) He wants to see J in about 10 days he'll take an xray then. He thinks nature will take care of any impacting or broken chips in there. So that was good news.

We filled J's Rx for Amox today and I came to realize - he's NEVER had an Rx before! 6 years old and med free!! :-)

Just back from registration for school. J has a new teacher and we knew who S was getting. I'm excited - I think they are too. Heard that they have rectified the problem we had with daycare. It's going to cost us more - but I think it will be ok. We'll try it and see what happens. I like the idea of S staying at the school. I just hope the new company can make a positive difference. So $350 later- we're all ready for school.

"Good-bye J's Mom"

I hear this as I'm bending down to kiss J goodbye at camp. Little Drew is playing with the beads on my necklace and saying this. He's a character. J has 2 boys in his group that were in his class at school and one boy who was on his tee-ball team.
So they sit on the curb and play U-Gi-Oh cards until the counselors are ready for the day.

Only 7 couselors for 10 groups today. I wished Tatti good luck. :-) They really are a good group of "kids". She goes to Western. I told her that was my neck of the woods - had just been down there last week. She's a cutie.

Some problems with S and after school daycare. Why can't things EVER run smoothly? The school has turned daycare over to a private company who - in the interest of the almighty $ cuts staff down to nothing and so S would not have an aide. We could hire one - $15 an hour. Not that I think that's unreasonable - I just can't afford it with the usual - it would end up being $21 per hour. So we're going to see if K can take her. Damn. Just when you think things are going to work out ok and no big hurdles this year. Yeah, right. In the world of "special needs" - it's not heard of. There's ALWAYS *something*.

Yaaaaawwwwwnnnnn

Why is it the boy gets up more in the night at age 6 than he ever did as a baby. Granted his big belly of over 10 pounds made it easy for him to sustain through the night but now it's ridiculous. He's up at least 2 times a week. He gets within inches of your face and says "Mom". You jump and then see this face peering at you. "Can I sleep with you?" You have to either slide into the middle of the bed and be squished or escort him back to his bed with water and reset the CD. ugghhh. Disturbed sleep SO sucks!!!

Gene and I will be truckstering south tomorrow. I think we're both pretty excited. Another 4 hour drive. I'm getting to be quite the Driving Miss Daisy guy - what was his name? :-)

My sister, J is down there now - look for LJ to arrive too. It's salsa making time. Mom's party ought to be fun. I think all the cousins are coming. I haven't gotten to visit with a lot of extended family for a while.

Plus - NO getting up early on Sunday!!!! No little faces peering at you in the dark. !!!!!! Can you say HEAVEN!!!!!!

But I need to clean out the car - it's a MESS!! Still have doggie prints on the side where Chunk left a love note in the dust from the gravel road. :-) MR always gives me grief about my car. Yeah, well, it's just a *little* worse than the house. Now, that should scare you. :-)

S's Dr appt on Monday. REALLY looking forward to that. I hope he can give us some hope on the potty horizon! :-)

Did hear from Laura that Marissa is having behavior problems too. So it's not just S. It's always to have company in the "I've had it with my kid" camp. :-)

Stole a bike (and a scooter and a go cart) and away they WALKED

God Lord. Between the times of 3:45 and 4:30 two children stole these items AND a girl down the street saw them doing it! Can you believe that!!! We made a police report this time. This is crazy. It's like the 20th scooter and the like 4th bike!

Went truckstering to get my haircut today. It was fun. Looks like Harry will probably start doing hair in her house soon. That will be cool. Harry is like a good friend now.

Sade got her haircut and S got her's done yesterday. Sade looks so cute. They all love her at the groomers. Say she's so good and never barks and holds so still. Everyone loves Sade.

Looking forward to the weekend. I think Aunt L is too. A whole day and night with no kids. Loooooovvvve it. But I have to make sure sales tax AND payroll is done before I leave. Bleck.

Good to be back.

It's good to be back at work. I do think I was missed. Since he said I had been gone for like a month! :-) We got a new GL program. Well, more like updated and changed around. :-) It'll take a while to get as fast as I was on the old one. It is cool though. Like Quicken it remembers your entrys and puts them in for you when you start to type. Also I don't have to worry about starting new files for new months - hence no wrong dates----- LOVE that!!!

S has had a rough weekend and couple of days. She made it VERY easy to go back to work. Her behavior was just WAY out there this weekend. At breakfast she went VERY autistic with tantrums and everything. :-/ Got the "looks". We usually don't have that much problem. I don't know what's going on with her.

Mr C did a FANTASTIC job for us with Rexie and the house and all. He fed her and changed her litter and even came in a played with her several times. We're so blessed with great neighbors.

Day off tomorrow. And get this - was able to get S into Dr J on MONDAY!!! I'm so pumped about that. I SO hope I won't be disappointed.

J&L gave B some stuff from his Dad. We had a good time looking back though all the pictures I had sent plus a couple of B when he was young. J couldn't believe he wasn't born when S was. He's such a goober.

We've been having war about what he takes for lunch. He "doesn't like hot grapes". Uggh. No, he "doesn't want watermellon or strawberries". If a fruit or veggie ever makes it into that body I'm sure it will take root in all the garbage in that gut.

Po Dunk Vacation

OH My Goodness!!! We just had the BEST time. We always do - but we did so many new things this time. We left here on Friday - did the usual breakfast casserole with Grandma and Grandpa, then on to Aunt Jill's and saw all the live stock. The kids played in the yard all afternoon, talking to all the animals. We helped feed the horses and generally hung out and "caught up".

Saturday was a VERY full day. L&M came out in the morning and we all went to the Fair for wristband rides all day. J went on all the BIG rides that he could. You wouldn't believe the rides. S went on the HUGE slide all by herself. I was so proud of both of them. Mad Dog rode "bubba" on the Merry Go Round. He is SO funny. What a good kid! After our ride session we went to the park in town and had a picnic. Aunt J and I took S to Gpa's after that. When we returned to the park all the kids and the hubs had fallen asleep on the blanket under the tree. We packed everyone up and went back to the fair to see Bull Riding. It was pretty good. Only about 3 stayed on for the full 8. After about 3 bulls they decided the arena was too wet - the bulls were slipping - so they called for a tractor. This is a county fair - FULL of tractors, livestock, all things country. We waited at LEAST 30 minutes for a tractor!!! I thought maybe they had called Bbk Public Works!!!
:-) J was FULL of questions through the whole thing and was hardly quiet at all. Mad Dog sat on J's lap and didn't make a sound!!! His eyes just round as saucers.

Sunday we all got up and played. J and Maddy play VERY well together and L is SO good with Sally. She's so sweet to her and very tolerant. M&K came out and we all had lunch. My sister cooked the ENTIRE week. My Dad is right, she's a really good cook. I wish I was better, maybe I'd actually cook a meal once in a while.

M got out Storm and we all took a turn riding. The kids all thought that was a lot of fun. J wants to ride with just "the rope" (bridle) M and I took off over by Houstons and we didn't have any problems. For some reason my fear has really subsided. I felt VERY comfortable and only used my horn a couple of times. Storm is really a good horse, she just stumbles once in a while. Aunt J thinks she doesn't pay attention enough. That could very well be.

That night M , B and J went to the races in Qcy. The girls went into Bowen and had ice-cream and then to the park. :-)

Monday night B and I went to the tractor pull with T&R and the kids. We had such a good time. "If you're ever feeling low, thinking your life isn't so good, go to a truck stop, you'll instantly feel on top of the world." <- Todd. :-) I rode with R and the kids and B went with T in the TRUCK! :-) Only in "Po Dunk" would you take your semi to the fair. :-) Being with T at the fair is like being with B at Town Center. R is so funny. I really like her. They are SO much like us when it comes to kids. Their kids run around with dirty shirts and bare foot too. :-) And always with a smile on their face. In fact, now that I think of it, I've never seen a tantrum from their kids. Must be something we do - ours tantrum all the time.

Tuesday we went into Carthage to Farmers Market ... AND.... School Supplies!!!! We just kind of hung out and played in the pool that night.

Wednesday we took lunch to the girls in Aunt J's cell. Lasagna, green beans, bread and Mississippi Mud cake. It was goooooooodddd. Then to the WOW park and that night we went to the demo derby. S stayed at Gma's again. WAY too loud for her. When we dropped her off we talked about her and J staying overnight on Thurs and as she took it in she turns to M and says: "See you in the winter, Jull." :-) She is too funny. J LOVED the derby - was SILENT the whole time!!!!!!

Thursday we took a road trip all over the country. Amazing how all those little gravel roads eventually lead you back to the main. The kids stayed at Gma's and we want with M&M and T&C to the Harness Racing at the fair. THAT was a LOT of fun. I could REALLY get into that kind of gambling. :-)

Friday morning we all went to Gma and Gpa's for brunch and then back home. The ride home was NOT good. S was REALLY in a mood!!! SO out of control. It lasted the whole weekend. When we got home J announced that it was good to be home "where the cushions are more comfy." I took that as a HUGE compliment to the atmosphere - seeing as how my sister's house is WAY more comfortable and big and they're able to do most anything they want.

We had breakfast with J&L this morning, after church and she was WAY out of it!!!!
We just couldn't bring her down. She must have had a million time outs today. Ms Carla called while we were gone, to check up on S and see how her summer had went. Can you believe that? Isn't that nice?

I hope tomorrow is better for S at camp. We've told her about the last week before school that she will stay home with me and J will go to Gma's and she will wear big girl pants the whole week. She didn't seem to care one way or another.

After S and her weekend I'll be VERY glad to be at work tomorrow. I do have a lot of errands to do afterwards. Sade needs a haircut. S needs a Dr appt. The group has been talking about a Dr in Plainfield who is very interested in Autism and he seems to have a reason why some aren't bowel trained. They have a blockage that has made desensitized them to feeling that they have to go. THAT makes TOTAL sense. Thought I'd give him a call and see what we can find out. If nothing else, she needs a new Dr and the rest of us will probably start going to Dr L.

I'll tell you, that Wed and Thurs was HEAVEN without S. I don't mean it as nasty as it sounds, but you can't imagine the stress that's relieved when she's gone. When we arrived on Friday to pick them up - it ALL came CRASHING back. She made sure of that. Special Needs really sucks sometimes.

Mother Tillman

How I hurt for this woman. Not only does she loose her son - but all the cover up about it!!! This country is in such a MESS!!! The government is SO corrupt. It's very hard to see any kind of hope or integrity in any of it. I've always said - it's got to be like hell on earth to loose a child - but then not even to have the correct info on how it happened. Wouldn't it be nice to just clean house. Get rid of all those fat old white men who have no problem sending our children to die and for what???? But there would always be more to take their place. I've never felt so embarrassed by our country, so let down, so humiliated. Is there no one out there to fight the good fight? It's obvious they're not listening to us little people. The poles say he's at an all time low of 20% approval - yet he continues in his stupid John Wayne, bully of a lifetime way. It's just all so sad. Will we ever regain what we have lost?

Back to "normal"?

I FINALLY got my little flat baby back. There's some kind of virus in it - I guess - so I'm going to reserve putting anything important (ie: cc info) to the other one. I also learned a HUGE lesson - tech is nice - but NOTHING beats the Amish pencil and paper when it comes to the check book. Being without my ledger for over 6 weeks is NOT fun and very stupid on my part. I've had to "re-start" all of our finances for the LAST time now. You would think I would have learned my lesson. (duh, duh, duh)

VERY VERY rough day for S yesterday! B wants drugs - I don't know, I'm afraid - as are her aides- AND I think there's a behavior modification that would work - we just need to keep trying. Part of the problem is there is no schedule at camp - well, not like school, which is good - it's summer and S DOES need to learn that and learn to relax, BUT in meantime - we all suffer. Part of the problem is the lack of a consistent aide at camp also - or should I say - lack of consistent aide that knows what the heck she's doing. Makes for some HUGE guilt - that is for sure!!!!

Talked to the boss man yesterday about taking the week off for Potty training. We're good. Did I mention what a great job I have? It's like being your own boss without all the stress of all the money stuff and having your butt on the line. I am so very fortunate. Got all my stuff done for vacation - just have to tie up some loose ends of day to day stuff and of course, pay my amigos. :-)

We had all the neighborhood gang over last night. Fed them hot dogs. They were all pleased. :-) They're all getting along much better. I do think we're ALL ready for a break from the Brook.

Stamping tonight. I can't wait. Plus I get my jewelry from K. We always have such a nice time there. I'm anxious to see the new stuff. Have to pick a Christmas card too. It would be nice to pick something and then take a picture of the kids in the "country" and have THAT all done. :-)

Got a letter from Kristine yesterday. Her handwriting is beautiful. She asks a lot of questions and most of them I have already answered - which makes me wonder about the timeliness of letters. Seems ours must have crossed each other. We'll have to send her some pictures of our "vacation" . I wonder if it would be possible to send her a camera and have her send it back. I'll have to ask about that.

Kris and Jennifer were back from last Sunday and said they had taught the kids in Africa the Chicken Dance. I think that's funny. Jimmy then told us all about how *they* call it the Duck Dance. What do you expect from Missourians. :-) So I'll have to ask Kristine if she knows the Chicken Dance. :-)

No Sun today. :-/

Kind of blah today. My lip is MUCH better - but still bugs the crap out of me. We're all anticipating vacation on Friday. The kids went to Kane Co Cougar game yesterday. J caught a ball from the Cougar, himself. He was SO pleased. S didn't think it was all that cool. But she likes to "go".

I swear, next year - I'm going to do more prep for Summer. I need a DEFINITE plan for vacation and gma visits AND I need to have a number for the aide for S. I have a couple of choice words for J at JBSRA. Inclusion is NOT a good thing with that Dept - and I wouldn't mind seeing it go to PD that hires the counselors. I've had MUCH better info from them. As of right now I'm not sure who her aide is. And though she doesn't really REQUIRE one to participate - she DOES need one to take her to the bathroom.

Got a new client yesterday. I kind of like that - learning new stuff - BUT I don't care for setting up all the files. I HATE filing and I really don't know why. It IS instant gratification - there is an END to it. These are two of my requirements on liking something. :-) Like mowing the grass.

Thinking about how to make up a schedule of what we will be doing the week before school. Potty training. ;-) I've talked to S about how you can't wear pull ups to 4th grade. Thought I'd just start laying the seed. Then when we get back from vacation we'll mark the week out on her calendar and talk about wearing our big girl pants that whole week. Maybe we'll plan a trip to the hill for the concert and take a BIG jacket - in case of accidents and then just leave if we have any. That could be a trip out that wouldn't be hard to leave in an instance AND wouldn't inconvenience anyone but us. I want to plan things where she can succeed but also make it easy for her if she doesn't. Didn't we all say "don't sweat potty training - no one ever goes to college in diapers". Well, I beg to differ. :-0 But I figure if we do fail at the WHOLE week - then it's definitely a muscle issue and that *I* cannot fix. But I secretly think a whole week just might do it. But I HAVE to prepare *myself* because I KNOW S and how stubborn she can be. :-)

I'm almost finished with Qtlys at work. THAT feels good. The more payroll we can do for clients the better. That way I don't have to wait for them to get stuff in to start. So I was glad to see we'll be doing payroll for the new client. So I don't think me being gone will be that big a deal for MR. The end of Aug MIGHT have some problems - I'll have to talk to him about it.

Plan, plan, plan. Oh to be a man and just show up or not. :-)

Are my ears bleeding?????

Oh Good Lord!!! I THOUGHT I missed the girl....... 2 hours trapped in a car with her. Breathe - breathe - breathe. There were some tense moments when I told her we wouldn't eat at Mc D's in McClean but would meet Daddy at the Sticker Rest. We got there (after what seemed like days) and I asked B if my ears were bleeding. "They not bleed, Mommy - they just red." Still has her humor! :-)

She had a good time at Gma and Gpa's. Dan's store, Lola's, quilting, Windmill, Quincy, Aunt J's to visit Tiny (Miss Kitty was out chasing mice) and of course feeding squirrels and birds. She's so funny. Told me all about quilting and that she got an owie on her finger from the pins. "gotta be careful with pins." She self talks.

After lunch I took her to camp. They have a carnival today. Ok, I've never been to the carnival. It is COOL!!! The whole thing is roped off and counselors sit at the entrance. Inside is all kinds of jumpy things, slip and slides, dunk the counselor games, dancing, watermelon eating contests, snacks, train and climbing wall. They all run around and do whatever they please. It is a HUGE production. She was SO excited she could hardly get out of the truck without falling. I told B - I want to go to the carnival! J came over - gave her a hug AND a bag of chips. Is he not a cutie or what??? :-) Sometimes that kid surprises me.

I am SO stupid!

OMG!! I did not use sunscreen yesterday and I have a sunburn that is so severe (or I'm a big whimp) that I have slept ALL day today!!!! I feel physically sick to my tummy. I feel like the BIGGEST LOSER on the face of the planet. I mean - I put Sunscreen on J - who is BROWN - but me - no..... who puts sunscreen on a livey livered white person????? STUPID WOMAN!!!!!! God, I feel like a complete idiot.

We went to watch B play softball yesterday - it was supposed to be only 1 game - it turned into 4. Full timers against the part timers. Have you ever seen anyone catch a fly ball in the outfield AND hold a beer? A pitcher smoke AND pitch? It was interesting to say the least. It was a really good time, though. I love the Village People. I met Becky - she is SO nice and I really like her and CR as a couple. He really deserves someone that nice. R was there too - she is such a crack up! LOVE her - also I think she is so pretty. It was fun sitting with the women - why can't tee-ball have nice women like that?

So, anyway - we also had lunch there. Jason fired up the bbq and J meandered over - came back and told me that there were chips over there. I said that we were going to have lunch here and he says "I wish S was here."

"Oh, do you miss S?" <- me

"No, she just loves chips." Is that not cute?? Plus, yes, she does love chips. I've heard from S the last couple of days - the first thing she says is "you pick me up Saturday at McDonalds?" Agenda, agenda with that girl.

Crazy, Crazy, Crazy World

Should I be concerned that my mom thinks that if she calls my home phone and I'm not home it will ring my cell? In a way, it's a progressive thought of hers and in a way it's a very misguided "are you in there" thought.

We truckstered down half way south and made "the switch" today. S was SO excited. I was happy to finally have feeling back in my ears. :-) 4 hours of driving is hard on a person - and I get to do it again on Friday - AND then go to work. :-/ Not real sure that's going to happen - so just in case, I'm going in on Monday.

J's not feeling quite right lately. The boy is BURNING hot to the touch and complains of a headache now and again. He's eating pretty good and the other end seems ok - just fit full sleep and the "hots".

Rexie is back - clawless and uterus - less. Her shaved part is hysterical. Cats were definitely made for fur. She keeps licking her paws. We just had the front ones done. I honestly would have left them but she just wasn't learning. EVERY morning she would scratch the chair in our bedroom and EVERY morning I would squirt her with my squirt gun (permanent fixture on my nightstand) and she just didn't stop. SO to save my furniture and her life (not to mention the kids - notice how my concern for them is AFTER the furniture) :-) I think it was a wise decision.

Ok, this is what kills me - they cut me open and take out a human being - I get2 days - they take out her claws - 3 days!!!!! Can you believe it???? There's just something sick and wrong about that.

More craziness - B's father passed tonight. He had cancer. In the end he was having a lot of seizures. I always find it very interesting how death affects different people. Maybe interesting isn't the correct word. I don't know.

We believe that B's father was the same age as mine. 78. Or at least he would have been in Sept. VERY different human beings.

Not sure if B will attend whatever ceremony there will be. We'll have to see what he decides. I'm glad it's not my decision.

Speaking of death. My Dad is going through that whole thing that Grandma did with all of his friends passing. Shorty was the last to go. Him and Dad worked for the County together, went to school together - I think they played ball together too, and finally worked at Adams Tel together. Dad said he was pretty bad in the end. It's so sad that the body has to linger like that.

On a lighter note - I do believe I undid everything in 4 hours of driving that I worked out in Yoga yesterday. Have I told you about Yoga? Loooovvveeee Ittt! I cannot believe how much I SWEAT! I NEVER sweat - even when L and I did the running thing and the lifting thing I didn't sweat near as much as I do in Yoga. It's crazy - but it is fun and I can already see that I'm making progress. I'm able to get further in my poses.

So this was the plan tonight - J was allowed to stay up as long as he wanted - we're not going to church in the morning - we are sleeping in. J and I sat down to watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks tonight and he was out my 8:15. So much for sleeping in. :-) CRAZY.

Very rough week for the girl

Well, S has a new aide at camp. It all started when she reported that Miss P had said that if she wasn't good she wasn't going on the field trip. I immediately slipped into lion position. Then S started saying over and over that she was bad. And on Tues was told that she wasn't swimming or making ice-cream on THURS!!! I LOST it. Made QUITE a voice mail message for Jill and the next morning proceeded to talk to the head counselors. I also cautioned Jill that Miss P should maybe be relieved of working with any children. I just don't get these people. God knows we all loose it occasionally but the threat #1 was an idle threat. That would NEVER happen. And I very casually mentioned that I knew legally that 504 would eat them alive. When B picked them up that night - they practically bent over backwards for him. :-)

I'm really not one to take pleasure in being a bad ass. I USUALLY write good guy letters about this camp. I'm truly in awe of the kids they find to work there - they are the most polite and helpful people I've ever met. And usually S LOVES camp. So, I guess I should have known something was up. And again - it's not so much the camp - but the JBSRA aide. I told Jill she should consider in house training.

S goes to Grandma's tomorrow. That will be a nice break. The boy has been playing SO hard lately and staying up so late. He's grouchy and kind of nasty. Again - I SO love school and the routine. But this is what summer is about and I shouldn't deny it to him.

Mommy guilt is a bitch and I've got a lot of it lately.

Crack Boom Munch Munch Munch

Our 4th was terrific. We went with Mr Chad and Co to watch fireworks and S ate her way through 40 minutes of blasts. :-) Patrick and Allison are in and the kids are having a blast. I've never seen someone SO identical to S. They all get along VERY well. The problem is - between those two and ours - Mr Chas will prob NEVER touch Ms Jen again. :-)

So we're back to camp and work and the regular grind. The kids are playing every night will around 8:30. They're loving their new found freedom.

I'm sleeping SO well, in my new bed. It's SO nice. Need to catch up on laundry again this weekend. (surprise) Plus make plans for the trip down south. So much to do, so little time. What else is new?! :-)

Party Party Party

Had a GREAT jewelry party!!! SO much fun and I learned a LOT. I now know just who should be invited to this stuff. :-) D and J were SO funny. C said she never laughed so much. S was so out of her usual shell and then of course THE advisor - L. We really had a ball.

Sat D,L,J&J came over and then Mr C. THAT was a lot of fun too. I think we may have C&J over next weekend. I finally feel free. Really free.

So, I've decided that the week before school (no camp) J is going to Gma's and S is getting a whole week of potty training. Tomorrow I have to do some planning and make some phone calls about Rexie and Sade.

Oh and we got our new bed - it's SO great!!!! Looooveeee it!!! It was a trip getting it up - not so much the new one but putting the old one downstairs. I was just VERY tired today.

Really having a time lately with what and who to believe lately. I'm really upset with stuff in the news lately - just seems so hopeless sometimes. This administration is SO tainted - but aren't they all?? And then you realize that NO one tells the truth - there is no dependability. It's all an act. I'm personally sick of it. SO fake. And the thing is - that's fine - but then don't pretend about it. uggh. Well, such is life.

Why is it

That when your husband is home and you think you'll have extra hands and help to get the kids ready that it actually takes LONGER to get ready than normal??? NEVER been late to camp - today - 15 minutes. It was like that when I was younger and my Mom would have a day off too. It NEVER went smoothly. I'm just not a people person. :-)

So boss man leaves tomorrow. Got my instructions today. He's so funny. "I don't care if the place burns to the ground - don't call me. And if you run out of checks just forge my signature."

Well, now - that I know the rules...... :-) Seems I have some shopping to do!!! hee hee hee.

The parents come tomorrow. I'm elected to get them from the train. B is elected to do some shopping. :-) Then we're doing the whole brunch thing.

AND..... I have my Par tay tomorrow! :-) Ok, talking to M last night. I was talking about how I'm always so nervous when having people over. He says "that's the difference between guys and girls. Guys just say no."

"What, if Scott N asked you to have a party for him because he was starting a new business, you wouldn't?"

"No, I'd say, Sorry Scott you're gay."

"Oh, So if Scott were gay he wouldn't be your friend? That's real nice."

"No, he'd still be my friend - I just wouldn't have his little gay parties."

I'm busting a gut by this time.

Who's that big girl?

Village Picnic today. Ran into M. I used to babysit her and her brother - but I had her from 6 mo. and now she is in 6th GRADE!!! She's almost as tall as I am!!! S didn't recognize her and said "Who's that big girl?" It was cute.

Left Dad there - he's doing the OT thing. So I'm "babysitting" as usual> :-) STILL doing the Power Laundry.

Gpa and Gma come in Friday - so also need to do the Power Cleaning. :-)

POWER Laundry

Got the spare room full of every piece of clothing we own. Time for some power laundry!!! :-)

As I'm waiting for my washer - new tech - pfftttt - give me my old washer back. Anyway - as I'm waiting - I'm looking around and figuring out what to do with the *new* room I will get when the garage is done and there is NO ebay CRAP in my house!!!! Oh, I will skip and sing and tra la la la la.

I am seriously thinking I could set up a little sitting room down there AND have my scrap book stuff out all the time. Oh, to be able to watch movies this winter AND scrap book. Heaven, I'm in Heaven. :-) It can't get done fast enough for me. :-)

Then of course I'm going to nag about my kitchen being done. :-) My kitchen will be SO nice when we get what we want. Plus I think it will really lend itself to having kids in and out like we do.

What color God is

So, do *you* know what color God is? When B put J to bed tonight J said "how did you know I was in here?" "I know everything, I'm Dad"
"huh uh - you don't know what color God is".

I almost fell off my chair! Oh, the stuff this kid comes up with.

The other day after he got his uniform on for tee ball he stood up nice and tall, put his hands on his hips and said "I'm the perfect man."
Oh, so humble too. :-)

Not fun to be a Mom lately

It's been a rough week. Got a call about S this morning at work. What am I supposed to do at work?? Ugghhh - I SO hate when people SAY they've worked with Special Needs before and they really haven't. Her aide didn't have the foggiest about how to handle S. Ended up just giving me a head ache - made it almost impossible to concentrate at work (hence input on the wrong date)dang. So instead of an easy Friday - well, you know.

Stuff like that makes you start to question every decision. I HATE second guessing.

Dang - just a stressful hectic week.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Am I the only one who sees how ridiculous this country has become? We are prosecuting certain people for lying but the thing is - EVERYONE in government is lying. They lied about the cause of war, Clinton lied about Monica, on and on and on. If their mouths are open - they're lying. It's like Teddy sitting in judgement of Clinton - we don't see how STUPID we must look to other countries? Then we have the audacity to go over and "save" the world??? WTF????

Bush was quoted yesterday as saying "that's not going to happen in MY government". That's the thing - it is THEIR government - all of them - left and right alike. They don't do what's best for the *people* - hell most of them don't even know what it's like to BE one of us. Daddy Bush had no idea we had scanners at the cash register. Pearl lady thought Katrina victims found the Super dome comfy.

Is it that we all, myself alike, kind of keep busy with Paris and stupid stuff like that because the REAL issues are just SO hopeless?? I know I tend to busy myself with daily life and just when I finally get enough stupidity and hypocrisy I finally stand up and say "do you really think we're that f--ing stupid?" And yes, they do.


And just so my head doesn't blow off my shoulders I'm going to turn my attention now to the unimportant: my cat. Ok, as many of you know, I have lost my mind - but I do not lie. So when I tell you - my cat plays fetch - you can believe me. And the really wild part that I saw yesterday is that she brings the thing to you and meows till you play. She is really starting to grow on me. I think it's time to have her de-clawed. She's a keeper. Today she was lying on the couch and Sadie walked by her - she stretched out her paw and just let it slide down Sade's back as she went by. It was really cute - then she stretched her toes and hair fell out! Sadie didn't seem to mind. They are funny together. The thing that really kills me is that Sadie chases other cats out of the yard - but for some reason has decided that Rex is ok. I really live in a crazy house. :-)

We went to O and A's game last night. J loves to sit on my lap and watch. I tried to explaining the strike zone, a full count, on deck, a bunt, and the in field fly rule. He is funny. He really like the whole lingo of the game. I've got a bet with B that J will (at the next tee-ball game) do the "grab the air" at bat when he's up. I noticed that it was after the first softball game we watched that he tipped home plate when up to bat. At last night's game the other team grabbed the air behind the plate as they dug in - I have a feeling we will see this on Saturday. I can also tell J has a good head for the game - like the rest of my family. It's like a 6th sense of where the ball is going to go - I think it kind of skipped me. I'm more like Sal - have more intuition of feelings or personal stress than sports.

J also told me that he would like to work at the bank. He thought he could start tomorrow. :-) I told him that when he was 16 he could work anywhere he wanted to. I like that kind of spunk. Granted he can't get his room clean - he's always so tired, or his foot hurts, or his tummy hurts, or he'll do it later. But I'm SURE he'll be able to "work" when he's a teen. yeah right.

I think S is tired out. She's been kind of cranky lately. Though she did sit very well last night. (provided you feed her - she'll do anything) But this morning you could tell she just wasn't up for it. Lots of yawning. We'll need to get to bed a little earlier next week. They'll be swimming more and they have a field trip.

I need to get to bed a little earlier too. Now that EVERYONE has to be ready by 8:30 WITH lunch it gets a little more complicated. Plus we need to read in the mornings. We've missed out at night. With all the stuff going on - we just never know when we'll get in.

Cicada, cickada

OMG!!! The noise these creatures make is unbelievable! They were supposed to emerge on May 22 or something like that. Evidently, Bbk cicadas are fashionably late. I thought to myself, when walking to my car and barely being able to hear myself think, if I were a deer - I'd jump in front of a van today. Lord, it's the most annoying sound. Worse than that "this is a test" buzzer. And remember, it doesn't stop. We can hear them IN the office - through the windows (which don't open).

So camp has started. They both had a great time. J swims today and S does tomorrow. They get to be together in the pool on Friday. And they go bowling this week. J LOVES it! S does too - she just doesn't show it like he does. He practically jumps up and down when it's time to go.

I started a *real* Yoga class yesterday - just for me. I LOVE it! Of course all the toxins I got rid of - I put back in with a bag of chips last night. My body seems to crave toxins. :-)

You know what I like....

I like that my daughter is ecstatic when she gets a hand me down tee-shirt.

I like that both my kids prefer their wading pool.

I like that a Popsicle makes it seem like summer.

I like that when you get out paper and a crayon they smile.

I like that they accept the phrase "ask Santa" as a response to "I want....".

I like that J beams all over when he runs the bases at tee-ball.

I like that S skips when they're told they can go down to Tommy's.

I like that dry Spider man cereal is one of their favorite snacks.

I like that they invent ways to "surf" in the wading pool.

I like that my husband waited up for me last night.

I like that there is a beautiful bouquet of flowers on my kitchen table.

I like that my house is well lived in.

I like that the sun is shining and the breeze is blowing right through the back door.

Reflection of the day:

From the Spark:

Investing time and energy in others

People usually talk of "spending" energy and time on others. As if once it's used, it's gone. But in reality, that effort is a powerful investment. It's an investment because you'll get more of both in return. When a match lights a candle, the match's flame doesn't shrink--if anything, it grows. In the same way, you'll be even more inspired and successful by building others up. The bonus is that they'll also be better equipped to return the favor. Take action today to make someone's life a little better. Come up with just one nice thing to do for each of the important people in your life, one little thing that can make all the difference. After all, what good does it do to improve your health or your life if you're not going to do anything with it?


I want to talk about the opposite. I tend to get sucked in - well, no, wait- I do it to myself so it's more like I tend to hear someone's problem and then JUMP into/on it and then come crashing down when the other doesn't spend NEAR as much energy on it. I have realized this and actually stopped myself recently with the drama of The Hoods. All the crap with Father Hood and I was actually able to foresee it, and step aside!!!! Man, that is SO great. Now, I must be vigilant to make sure I don't fall into my old habit. :-)

Lord, What have we become?

elaine writes:

3,500 dead American sons/daughters. 14,208 wounded, returned 2 duty. 11,622 maimed, not able to return 2 duty. 300,000 traumatic brain injured americans. Talk at the water cooler 2day? Paris! i cry

yes yes yes yes yes



I borrowed this from another blog. I feel this same way. It's like we're in the Twilight Zone. This is all happening and no one seems to care. There's SO many lies we were sold. SO much corruption - in both parties. It's so scary and it's just feels hopeless. I mean, will it EVER change? We've GOT to get these kids HOME!!! The powers that be don't have a clue what they're doing. And our kids are paying the price!!!

Do we "care" about Paris and other things because the truth is WAY to scary? Have we hid our heads in the sand? There are SO many families who are FORCED to think about it everyday because they are missing a loved one and are praying for their return. I can't imagine the heartache. How do you put your life on hold?

There should just NEVER be war. In this age - isn't there something else we could do to solve our differences? Checkers? Football? I don't know - maybe *talking* God forbid.

Just seems like we've learned nothing. Just seems to me that we aren't the country -we say we are. Seems like we have a dictator- not a democracy. And that goes in ALL levels of government. It's all about power and the almighty dollar. So who are we to go over and preach to anyone else when our own backyard is such a MESS?!!!!

Sniff, Tear, Sniff

I HATE goodbyes. The last day of school today. Hugs and thank yous and of course tears. I HATE when things change. Hmmmm - sounds a lot like S - maybe I do have the Autism gene. :-) So we say goodbye to one of the greatest teams. I ask myself - since coming to Salk - have you had a team you didn't like? No, but I had members I didn't like - not this year. And of course we've had the same aides for what - 2 years now. I will SO miss them. THAT team is tremendous!!! Mrs G - "got me" - she got my humor - my stress - my passion. I love her.

J and I walked to school to pick up S - the Jr High was walking home - can I just say how much I DETEST Jr High kids. Ugghhh. I SO don't want to think of S going to Jr High - only 2 more years and then SCARY!!!!!!!!!

Bella - S's running mate - came up and thanked me for the fax I sent yesterday. I wrote congratulations to them all and thanks for being so good to S. Wasn't that sweet?? Of course Quinn came over and said goodbye. S has got a FANTASTIC class.

I just can't stop tearing up - I just don't want it to end. It went so well this year - she made such HUGE progress - I want it to go on and on and on.

He are a gradu- it

Well, he's a first grader now! What I can't get over is the way some people make over this - HUGE flower arrangements, balloons, gifts. Like B says - this doesn't even count in your accademic grade point average. :-) It's not one of the big 12. It's so strange. I don't consider this a big goal - it's just a beginning. But anyway - he sang his little heart out - got his little diploma and his teacher dubbed him "fastest boy student". Which translates into he rushes through things to get to the next thing. :-) It was cute.

S came home with a list of nice things that her class had said about her. It was so sweet. I never dreamed that she would be so accepted in school. It just brings tears to my eyes. She's so loved.

What a Fun Weekend

GREAT game yesterday. J came in from the outfield and tried to RUN a runner down with the ball at home. It was SO funny. He has to learn that he has his Momma's speed and he NEEDS to THROW the ball. :-) He did really well though. My brother showed up along with JB. Jack was so thrilled to see an audiance. He's SUCH a ham.

The kids have been down the street for most of the weekend. We sat outside with Mr C last night and they rode up and down. The Fire Dept was called by Mr C last night - turned out his fridge was messed up and a part got so hot it started melting the plastic around it - which is the smell he was first alerted to.

Multi-culture day today at church - everyone should wear garb from their country. As much as I HATE to sound like my right wing hub - I'm from America - what exactly should my kids wear to participate. It seems like our church does nothing but "celebrate" our cultural differences. It gets a little old personally. Enough about your country of orrigin - tell me about your life HERE. Tell me about your struggles NOW. Not that I don't care about other's plight of where they're from but enough is enough. I have to admitt that was one thing that attracted us to this church - the curltural difference - but I just think we've gone over board now.

I did get my thank yous and J's out this weekend. That feels good to finally be done with the Walk. I don't think I'll fund raise next year. And I don't think if I don't mention it - B will never know. :-) It's just too much. I LOVE participating but the actual sending of all the "stuff" and then thank yous after are too much for me.

I'm off now 3 days this week. It's the last week of school. S is both freaked and excited. I think she's anxious and happy about J going to camp with her this year. I'm kind of excited to see what he thinks. I'm both excited about camp starting and also dreading it. I'm not looking forward to making lunch every day. :-) I guess I'll never be nominated Mother of the Year. :-)

VERY Interesting Evening

God Breeze - Tonight was the last night of swimming, at least for us. The last (make up) session will be held outside and S has always fought the outside lessons so I elected to make this evening the last one. B was in attendance for this and as usual I sat by SN - a friend I had met at MDO. She lost her son last summer. B of course brings this up and talks directly about it and so does she. I don't know, I'm always a bit shy of the subject. To me it has got to be sheer hell on earth - in my mind there's nothing worse. Granted I pray every night that I will live one day longer than S - it's still not the same to have someone so young be ripped away from you.

But she made it easy to talk. She made me forget my doubts that have been forming lately. My doubts about God. Her testimony tonight, fresh, genuine, and real was SO moving. She is SO strong. I've always thought she was the cutest thing and now even more so.

Some WILD Happenings.....

Wow, we've had some crazy encounters in the area lately. First I had an altercation with a Jr High student and his 17 yo brother - JJ and Ricco. JJ was pushing Kyle (a 4 grader) who was walking home and when I intervened I was told "get back in your house old lady." Well, you can imagine how well I responded to that! :-) So Kyle's father came down and we had a talk about what had happened and he set out for Innsbrook to *talk* to the boys. I heard from Kyle the next morning that yes, his dad had found them and that the boys would not be giving him any more problems. Oh, I so like people like that who get involved. :-) So I add him to my list of allies on the block that keep the children in line. I also introduced him to the boy and told him that in the future he'd prob be having a talk with mine and that if he ever got an attitude that my phone number was...... :-)

Aunt L had a weird happening at L's game - bloody men and kids running through the fields along with dogs and then police. Very strange. Didn't get a lot of the story because it was at that moment that S decided to throw up. Yes, S got sick and then went to bed for the night - got up in the morning and was fine. As is the fashion in our house - we had put the "throw up bucket" (yes, we have a bucket designated for this purpose only) by S's bed and in the morning she brought it to me saying "I not sick". :-) He definitely subscribes to her Gma's kind of sickness.

I was out of it on Friday. Stayed home from work and in bed all afternoon. SO tired. Today I had to go in and do payroll for all of my amigos. I do have a rough job. :-) I might as well be the boss with the hours I keep/make for myself.

Rode through the country side this a.m. to get the reg haircut. A good time was had by all. I just love getting out every 5 weeks for 1/2 to get all pampered. Harry does a GREAT job.

FINALLY got some sort of library/school thing going on in the old dining room. Now I just have to unload ALL the stuff I was given (books, tapes, workbooks, schedules, you name it) and we'll be good to go. I'm thinking along with reading and counting every day that we will actually do "school work" on Saturdays. I think they'll both be up for that. Like me they're at their best in the morning. (when the hell did THAT change)??? :-)

B&I discussed our looming summer vacation. It's going to be postponed a little this year - but will kind of work out for the best because I do believe it will co-inside with AC Fair!!! Demo derby here we come. Not to mention horse show, bull riding, and barrel racing!!!! So yes, boss man can NOT keep me down. :-)

Whew - It's All over

What a weekend!!!! Saturday morn we had tee-ball. We won - but not before the coach from the other side had a hissy. I cannot believe how 'grown' people act at a tee- ball game. Come on folks - they're 5 and 6 years old - 2 years ago you were jumping up and down that they could poop on the toilet for God's sake!!!! Why can't people get it through their head that 1/2 the kids out there won't even make it on their high school team - let alone go any further. And really - why would you want them too? Do you really want them to take something that they find really fun and make a job out of it and also enter *that* life????? Personally, I'd rather my kids clean toilets for a living. (no offense to us people who clean toilets).

Anyway - the boy is really into sliding! So needless to say - I'm almost out of Shout. :-) He's doing pretty well - need to teach him to "take the plate" when he bats. :-) He seems so timid up there. That was always my problem too. His throwing is doing well - but his catching isn't too great. But nothing that's not "normal". :-)

Then it was on to Chuck E Cheese for the birthday party. The 4 kids had a BALL!!! And the adults had a great time talking. I always have the best time. After that we went home to play with Mrs Chad's kin. S and Daddy got into it about her pooping her pants. He told her that everytime she did it he would take one of her People. When he went outside - she got EVERY Little People thing she owned and put it in the bathroom. (the above picture) Then she proceeded to poop her pants. It was pretty much her FU statement to him. :-) I don't know. If we could just get her to poop on the toilet.

So we had the Walk Now Walk today. We were actually on the same grass that Brian plays on (and touches) :-) *I* was more excited about that - than anything else. We saw Kimberly from ASI - she got her hair cut. S had a GREAT time on the bouncys. To the point that she didn't really want to stay in the Stadium. We came home around 11. It's always a nice time. You meet all kinds of people who "get it". And we all have the same story - "no one else gets it". :-) It can be a very depressing life sometimes. Things like the walk are so good because you really realize you are NOT alone. I mean we all hear the stats - 1 in 150 but here you actually SEE it. Like going to church and being part of something bigger.

So now we return to LAUNDRY! I don't know how I keep doing it to myself - once again we have almost NO clean clothes - not to mention that all bed clothes are dirty!!! :-/ But such is life..........

I've been tagged:

FOODOLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch or "house"

What is your favorite fast food restaurant? DOGGIE DINER!!!!!

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? White Fence Farm

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 15-20% - I was a
waitress!

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
PBJ - I usually do during tax season

What is your favorite type of gum? The green kind of Super Bubble

TECHNOLOGY

What is your wallpaper on your computer? BEARS!!!


How many televisions are in your house? 3 - and no Bill, none are HD.

BIOLOGYQ.

What's your best feature? I say eyes, Bill says ass. Such a romantic!

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? 4Wisdom teeth, and two children


Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Touch

When was the last time you had a cavity? At least 10 years ago- a refill of one I had before

What is the heaviest item you lifted last? Barbell doing dead lifts -
75 pounds.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Not truly unconscious - just wind knocked out of me

BULLSHITOLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to
die? No
Is love for real? Most definitely - but not like movie love - love where you hold someone's hair when they throw up, the kind of love where you look past the stuff that bugs you and love the person where they're at - not where you want them to be.

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I don't think so - but I would def. change my middle name - prob to "Girl"---- get it??? :-)


What color do you think looks best on you? This one particular shade of blue - Taloola gave me a beautiful shirt and Bill gave me a jacket in this color -


Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? No, my name's not Karen. :-)


Have you ever saved someones life? Yes.

Has someone ever saved yours? No - even though Bill *thinks'* he has. :-)

DAREOLOGY

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for
$100,000? No, I don't think so.

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Nah, $10,000 MAYBE.

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for
$200,000? No, that is way too permanent.

Would you never blog again for $50,000? No, I think I'd need much more than that

Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000? Nope, has no one learned anything from history???

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? No, reminds me too much of Tequilla - ewwwwww - THAT was a night!!! :-/

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for
$1,000,000? Never. How horrible! Hence my stand on cap. punishment

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
Absolutely.

Give up MySpace forever for $30,000? Never been, so easily yes.

DUMBOLOGYQ:
What is in your left pocket? Jack's tattoo from his lunchable this afternoon

Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? Good God NO!

Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? Pergo and carpet.

Do you sit or stand in the shower? Stand - I don't have the option - I do sit at my sister's house to shave my legs

Could you live with roommates? Yepper - They tend to be easier than children to live with.
:-)



How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? One. And I really don't care for them

Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Well,since I practically have one as a family member - it was last weekend.

What do you want to be when you grow up? A fabulous gramma and Mother
in law. I hope to live up to my Grandma B's memory and my Sis. Even though she's a "stupid woman" ;-) hee hee

Last friend you talked to? Taloola

Last person you called? Innocencio - for payroll


RANDOMOLOGY

First place you went this morning? Out to the bus to buckle up the girl

What can you not wait to do? Get my kitchen redone

What's the last movie you saw? The Beckett Remodel and Davidek adventures this weekend.
*Real* movies - Tyler Perry's latest (can't remember the name) in Bloomington

Are you a friendly person? Yes, until provoked and then I tend to tantrum and then later regret raising my voice and creating a scene - but not regretting what I said. :-)

SOOOO Many Things

First there was jury duty. A very sobering look into our judicial system. Some things I learned: 1. NEVER mention the bible if you want to be on a trial. 2. A trial is ultimately better than just sitting in the pool day after day. 3. If you are ever in a situation that you need a jury do NOT take smokers. They will send you to the gallows so they can have a cigarette. 4. Lawyers ARE every thing they say about them - all the jokes and shark comments are perfectly fitting. Lawyers have joined the celebrities and politicians in my mind as fake people - non-people- people to never be trusted.

So I spent 4 days being condescended to, yelled at, heart strings pulled at, and WAITING!!!!! Ugghh - the waiting is horrible. When we finally got to deliberation we were done in a matter of minutes. We awarded no money and I can see where people who decide on person's fate can have real issues after it's all over. I know I will NEVER forget Ruth - even though we did not side for her.

Then there was Aunt J. She came up on Friday - we went to see O play on Saturday and then J played in the afternoon. Todd and Rachel surprised us that afternoon. They had been in Schamburg for a wedding and came over and went to J's tee-ball game and went out to dinner with us. We had a GREAT time!!!

We had the yearly IEP - S is going into Mrs Grimms class and losing her aides. I was told my Mrs G that we weren't really loosing them - just gaining Mrs V. :-) They are SO fantastic! They've given us all the reading books (they're getting a new reading program next year) for all the grades up to grade 4. I'm hoping we can keep her up to par over the summer.

The spring concert was Wednesday. It was TERRIFIC!!! You could tell when S played - that's for sure. :-) J did very well. It was outside at Town Center and it was just a perfect night! I can't get over the negativity of some people though. Dang. It's not the money or the kids that do teachers in - it's the parents. Truly. I just can't get over how some people are NEVER pleased! And it's the kids that ultimately suffer.

This weekend Gma and Gpa come to DR and LJs. We're going the whole birthday/mother's day thing tomorrow. I'm in charge of the cake. We're looking forward to that.

Hopefully B will be going back to work this week. I need to get my head out of my behind at work. I've been hurrying through things again - I have such a bad habit of that. When something becomes so familiar to me I tend to rush through it - making really stupid mistakes.

We (B and I ) are also starting the WW thing and getting fit. Hopefully we can get it down to schedule and teach the kids something too.

Madame Vice President

Welp, she won. She jumped in the truck tonight and said "I win". She's pretty excited. They sent some of the posters home and they made me tear up. It's just SO cool the way they accept her. God, if her life would only stay this way.

The brothers are up to their old tricks and so joins the tee-ballers too. Dang - just seems to be a cloudy day in Mr's life. What is it about older siblings??? What a pain in the butt they are to us younger ones. :-)

S, sometimes your brain is too small.

This is what J said this morning. He was trying to explain something technical (bickering) and S was letting him know that she wasn't going to hear it. It was funny. Also, during b-fast we had WLS on (as usual) and as we were finishing up S heard "S, from Plainfield, you're on WLS, good morning." S looks up and says "that not me". :-)

IEP yesterday. Looks VERY good. Going to have Ms Carla again and the same aides. I'm kind of excited. S is doing VERY well. I do wish all things could stay the same - I so love Mrs Susan. As long as the next teacher has a sense of humor. S wore her "I am the *I* in IEP" shirt. They all loved it.

J's b-day coming up. Think we're going to do the Chuck E Cheese thing again. It's just so easy. Or maybe we could do a park. I'm not sure now. Have to get a hold of Aunt J and see what her take on it is. Aunt L has put in her two cents. Ends up she knows Coach Chris and his wife. We hung out at tee-ball the other night. That's too funny because Chris had originally caught my eye because of how good he is with the kids. He's really a nice guy and his wife is SO cute and funny. I'm so glad L was there - I had almost written them off as part of the "cliche".

J asked this morning about the score of the game. He was very grown up about it. (they got beat - by a lot). His response was "it's all about having fun." :-)
Gotta love that kid.

Amazing

Several things tonight:
We recently traveled down to McClean IL (2 hour trip south) to meet Gma and Gpa and deliver S to them. She stayed with them for the week of Spring Break. As we were going from the bathroom into the McDonalds there we were approached by two girls who said "Hi, S". I was stunned - how many of us could travel 2 hours away from our home and have someone know us at age 9!!!! It was too funny.
Tee-ball parade this Sat. Had a GREAT time - over 700 kids. It kicked off at 8:30 am and at 10:30 we were walking to our car. I heard someone say they were done at 11 - this means that 700 kids plus parents and coaches walked about a mile in a parade - then every child got a single picture taken - posed with a bat - and then a team picture!!!! *I* think that's pretty darned cool!!! I personally have trouble getting two children to take a bath.
Autism awareness at church today - B and I got up and spoke. I think the first service was real good the second - I kind of lost my spark. SO many people came up to us afterwards (we were in charge of refreshments) and talked to us about Autistics that they knew. I can't get over how many spec ed teachers we have in church - but it makes sense. I'd like to see the stats about Spec Ed teachers and Christianity link. I don't think it possible to teach special needs and not believe in God. :-)
It's been a LONG but short weekend. SO much packed into it - I'm SO not ready for work tomorrow and poor S had to be talked into wearing "sweats" (elastic waist pants - leggins) because Mom didn't get laundry done this weekend. uggh. Plus she needs a hair cut - which I promised I'd do tomorrow before J's game. And they say it just gets worse from here. Lord, give me strength.

Someone named Mr. Alex posted this on the Yahoo Q&A site as an answer to
someone who asked what autism is. I can't confirm if this is indeed
someone who is on the autism spectrum or a knowledgeable person
describing characteristics "in character." However it is a good
introduction to families who are still trying to understand all the
sensory behaviors of their children.

From Mr. Alex -- I am a child with autism. I am not "autistic." My
autism is one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a
person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or
are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy
(uncoordinated, not good at sports)?

My sensory perceptions are disordered. This means the ordinary sights,
sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday life that you may not
even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in
which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or
belligerent to you, but I am really just trying to defend myself. A
"simple" trip to the grocery store may be hell for me. My hearing may be
hyperacute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms
today's special. Muzak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep
and cough. A coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches,
babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can't
filter all the input, and I'm in overload! My sense of smell may be
highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn't quite fresh, the
guy standing next to us hasn't showered today, the deli is handing out
sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper,
they're mopping up pickles on Aisle 3 with ammonia. ... I can't sort it
all out, I'm too nauseous.

Because I am visually oriented, this may be my first sense to become
overstimulated. The fluorescent light is too bright. It makes the room
pulsate and hurts my eyes. Sometimes the pulsating light bounces off
everything and distorts what I am seeing. The space seems to be
constantly changing. There's glare from windows, moving fans on the
ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion, too many items for me to be
able to focus - and I may compensate with tunnel vision. All this
affects my vestibular sense, and now I can't even tell where my body is
in space. I may stumble, bump into things, or simply lay down to try and
regroup.

Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't
(I'm not able to). Receptive and expressive language are both difficult
for me. It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't
understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I
hear: "*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*" Instead, come speak directly to me
in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to
go to lunch." This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to
happen next. Now it's much easier for me to comply.

I am a concrete thinker. I interpret language literally. It's very
confusing for me when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you
really mean is "Please stop running." Don't tell me something is a
"piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really
mean is, "This will be easy for you to do." When you say, "It's pouring
cats and dogs," I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Please just tell me,
"It's raining very hard." Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres and
sarcasm are lost on me.

Be patient with my limited vocabulary. It's hard for me to tell you what
I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings. I may be
hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused, but right now those words
are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language,
withdrawal, agitation, or other signs that something is wrong.

There's a flip side to this: I may sound like a little professor or a
movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my
developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world
around me to compensate for my language deficits, because I know I am
expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, television
or the speech of other people. It's called echolalia. I don't
necessarily understand the context or the terminology I'm using, I just
know it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.

Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented.
Show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be
prepared to show me many times. Lots of patient repetition helps me
learn.

A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like
your day planner, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember
what comes next, makes for smooth transitions between activities, and
helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.

Focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do. Like any
other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made
to feel that I'm not good enough or that I need fixing. Trying anything
new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however
constructive, becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and
you'll find them. There's more than one right way to do most things.

Help me with social interactions. It may look like I don't want to play
with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I
simply don't know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation.
If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at
kickball or shooting baskets, I may be delighted to be included.

Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. This is termed "the
antecedent." Meltdowns, blowups, tantrums or whatever you want to call
them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur
because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can
figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented.

f you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. Banish
thoughts such as, "If he would just ..." and "Why can't she ... ?" You
didn't fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you, and you
wouldn't like being constantly reminded of it. I didn't choose to have
autism. Remember that it's happening to me, not you. Without your
support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With
your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might
think. I promise you I'm worth it.

It all comes down to three words: Patience. Patience. Patience.

Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability.
Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has
given me. I may not be good at eye contact or conversation, but have you
noticed I don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates, or pass
judgment on other people?

You are my foundation. Think through some of those societal rules, and
if they don't make sense for me, let them go. Be my advocate, be my
friend, and we'll see just how far I can go.

I probably won't be the next Michael Jordan, but with my attention to
fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next
Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.

They had autism too.

*********************************************************************************
I love this - SO very to the point. I may print this out and keep some copies of it for people. I think it explains pretty well how S should be handled and the definitions of autism.

Refrigerator Moms

Oh My Goodness!!!! They went through such HELL!!!! I can't believe how society totally bought into what Dr B said about Autism being the Mom's fault. Like life isn't hard enough!!! We owe these women a huge debt!!! And the treatment that the "professionals" prescribed!!!! Isolation??? It's amazing what society can deem "correct". It's as if there was no thought process at all. I admire all these refrigerator Mom's. They certainly had nerves of steel and a determination that I must aspire to. And even after we've come through it all - they have a sense of humor about it - a sense of forgiveness. I only hope I can be a "refrigerator Mom".

This Is the Best Day of My Life

Says J. That was the statement made after we got into the car after church. And the reason - "It's Easter and I got a balloon." Well, shouldn't we all have that outlook. :-)

We took S to Gma and Gpas yesterday. I love her so much - but dang - it's SO nice to have a break. Church without scene, breakfast at church without problems, no one demanding things. It was NICE.

We colored eggs today - yesterday was just total break. I slept almost all day. New week starts tomorrow complete with ball practice and all the other stuff - so we get the house together, get some laundry done and plan in advance as much as possible. But it's still nice to have a break.

WHEN will it be Spring?????

When you simply witness your feelings instead of reacting to them, you allow your life to unfold naturally, and you open a doorway to greater sympathy and understanding. Most important, you develop your capacity to *be free* in an often challenging and turbulent world.


Ain't THAT a mouth full. This is SO my goal. I always pray - Lord, put your hand on my shoulder and one over my mouth. How many times have I said "shut up, shut up why can't you just SHUT UP?' After having had a bad convo with someone. The person I look up to most on this subject - E - has SUCH a nice way of just being silent and actually THINKING before responding. I don't engage my brain - just my heart before I speak. I think I need to find a more balanced way of handling things.

Well, I'm off to write up an article about Autism. Wish me luck.

Since you asked...

A couple of people I've talked to recently hadn't heard of the "Welcome to Holland" story -- So here ya go.....

Welcome To Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this.....

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. the Coliseum, The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy!!! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around....and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandt's.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy....and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. and for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away....because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things....about Holland.
***********************************************************************

There's a couple of things that I don't like about this - 1. why should she have to help others understand her life? 2. you will NEVER understand this life - until you have a special needs child. It's just not possible. AND one more thing - the guide books to Holland - are written in German. :-) NO ONE knows how to get around in this world of special needs - it's ALL trail and error - baptism by fire, baby.

Autism Awareness

April is here again. The month set aside to educate people on what I LIVE. Sometimes it gets a little old. No one gets it until they live it. But there I am being cynical. :-/

Get this - my little autistic informs me this morning that she has to wear her Bear's shirt tomorrow - because Mr. Mike said so - when I asked why she said because the bear is coming. What bear? Stanley. Stanley - you mean STALEY?? Yes. I look it up on the web and sure enough Staley is coming to JS tomorrow.

I had rec'd a paper from school about an assembly in the morning on Tues and if I wanted to bring J (he has afternoon school) but all I saw on it was that it was about physical fitness - blah, blah, blah - I swear it didn't say that STALEY was coming. So now, I need to beg off tomorrow. :-) I mean - Staley - this is serious stuff. :-)

On a different note - Friday they both go to Ms K's. J says this morning (after hearing this) I'll tell Ms K (and in a voice like - I'll let her know of the impending doom). It was funny.

So Bbk has proclaimed April to be Autism Awareness month. I got to meet Kimberly from ISA - she is so nice and extremely knowledgeable about all the government stuff going on. I don't know - it taxes my brain - plus I'm SO distrusting of EVERYONE in government. But it was really nice. Both her and B did a very nice job.

BMBD Disorder

Bad Mommy, Bad Daddy - I read this in "Touched by a Child." I is SO what Bill and I talk about with some people who feel their child is a candidate for Special Ed - but they really don't have a label - nor do they want to. They want services but they don't want the sigma that comes with those services. CRACKS me up. Pisses me off because these people are usually the ones that are NEVER happy with ANYTHING they're getting from the school. And they certainly don't work WITH the team. I have many people in circles I run with that do this. I just want to shake them. Not only do they make it hard for the rest of us - they really make it hard for their kids. Labels are part of it. No, they don't DEFINE your child - they DESCRIBE the type of treatment or services that your child will receive or is eligible for. Labels don't bother me in the least. *I* know who *I* am - I know who S is and I know to Whom we belong. Whatever *people* want to call us - doesn't mean anything.

"What I think the political correctness debate is about is the power to be able to define. The definers want the power to name. And the defined are now taking that power away from them." Ruthe Stover

Again, what does it really matter. I remember being very happy when we got S's "label". Because for once when I uttered the word autism people would understand. Do they "get" S from that word - do they see the total frustration we go through or the utter joy? No, but would they ever? No. But they DO get that she needs extra patience, she's not trying to do bad. So, the label works.

Some Interesting Info:

"My son sees the world differently than us. Thus he acts differently. Differences in people can be inspirational and joyful. Despite his challenges that cause him daily frustration, he smiles and teaches us something everyday. He figures out a way to live in our world and shows us to much love. I love that difference." -Donna Rosuck.

I've been doing a lot of research for our Walk Now letter and I'm finding that there is a whole sub-culture of autistic people who don't want to be cured. They see themselves as just people who are different. They consider themselves just one of the minorities in the world. Kind of like "leftys" I guess. I found some of their blogs very interesting and I can kind of see their point. S's autism is part of her. And she is the happiest kid I know. But I'd still like to be able to hear her thoughts. Maybe Walk Now is a selfish thing on our part. I don't know.

Can You Remember????

I was doing some research for quotes and definitions for Autism for a Walk Now brochure we're sending and it occurred to me that I can't remember a time when I didn't *know* autism. I was trying to remember any ideas or feelings I had about autism before I was so abruptly introduced to it. I can't think of a one. I know I had heard of it before - I just can't come up with anything.

It has just saturated my total exsistance.

Sing It!!!

I wonder if I'm the only one who can listen to a certain song and INSTANTLY be transported back to what ever was going on at that time. I can even break out crying if that's what I was doing. Memories come flooding back complete with smells. The rest of the world prob does too right? It's just so freaky. I wonder if they ever thought about using that with hypnosis when people can't remember stuff. I don't know.

Ok, really ROUGH day! I want to go back to Bloomington!!! Dang, why doesn't it work the way it made SO much sense when I was taking notes??!!!! Speaking of Bloomington - this was trip #3 and I still have to say I really think I would have done really well on a 4 year campus. I love walking around and finding your way to classes.

I did manage to get a handle on the laundry today and so tomorrow we start with actual cleaning. I want to go back!!!!!!

Mommy class - TOOOOO Short!

OMG - did we have a good time or what??!!! It's WAY tooooo short thought. We had to have laughed for a solid 3 hours! L,M,myself and a new girl - Carrie went on Thurs afternoon. We checked in - sat around and gabbed - went to see Daddy's Little Girls (GREAT flick) then to The Outback - flirted with Maurice and then to Panera's for hot choc - back up to the room - talk, talk, talk till 11 - up at 5:30 and to the conference. AWESOME conference. I just LOVE this meet up. It so fills me up and renews my "mommy spirit".

I did miss the chillen'. B did a GREAT job keeping it all together - and the best part - when I got home he told me he can't believe I do the stuff I do - that it's SUCH a pain and that he doesn't want to do it again. I think that might be the sweetest thing he's said to me in a LONG time.

S had her play on Friday - she did very well - played her drum and sat SO well through the whole thing. B taped the whole thing for me. It was really cute.

L was in full craziness over our get out. She is SO funny. I so love spending time with her and M.

I got presents for everyone - they were all pleased. The house is a wreck again - need to really clean OUT and throw stuff away.

Got a Sickie??

Himself was up all night with a fever. Not severe - about 101. But he was really having some WILD dreams. He slept with us for a while and then I went to his room with him. He was SO hot to the touch. At one point he woke up crying "I want to sit by someone". Poor guy. He said he felt better this morning. I sent him to K's only because I had morning appts and Daddy was to pick him up at 10:30 and then make the big decision whether he should go to school or not.

S kept saying "I not sick, I go to school, I don't get sick". There was no way SHE was staying home. Just so everyone knew. That girl......

J and I were accompianed by Rexy last night. He had to make sure he knew all that was going on. Got up on J's picnic table and slept there till I went back to bed and then followed me into my room. What is it with our animals - they're getting to be as weird as my sister's.

Debate

S is practicing her answer to why do you think you should be VP of the class? "Because I am super nice." :-) Is that not cute or what??!!!

Our bud Kyle isn't doing too well. We're praying he doesn't have to go into surgery again.

We did a devotion tonight about freinds and when I described my best friend J says "too easy - it's aunt L". His friend is Jonathon and Juan. S's is J. Isn't that sweet.?

You should see the boy swim. After the lessons he goes over to the other pool and swims - I watched him tonight and he can back float all by himself for almost the length of the pool. He won't do it in front of the teacher,though - and I'm not real sure why. I'm wondering if it's because he knows he'll "move up" and he doesn't want to do that. I don't know, you can never tell about that boy.

Es'panol?

We had J's 2 friends (J&J) from down the street over last night. Juan is the oldest at 10 - and we were talking to him about him learning English in school and suggested that he could teach J how to speak Spanish. "You mean he doesn't know how?" He was amazed. TOO cute! I guess everything IS relative! :-)

S suggested to us on Saturday night that when she called Daddy "Mommy" that she was only "teasing"!!!!! She's not supposed to get that concept!!!

J and I and L&J went to see Peter Pan, the ballet on Saturday. It was a lot of fun. But no, the boys are NOT going to be ballet dancers - so don't ask. That is pretty much the attitude we got when we asked. They really did enjoy it though. They were totally silent through it and sat with mouths hanging open.

Aunt J won the lip sync contest again this year. My father is now trash talking the competition. Telling them that "his daughter is going to kick their a..) Namely Odd Todd. ;-) I can just see that.

We went to the VVEEF fundraiser this weekend. What a good time!!! Margie and I had a really nice talk. Lots of "politicians" (I use that word loosely). I can't get over how people think they're "all that" because they are "running" for office - or because they hold office. I just shake my head. You know, how they say that the thing you fear the most will end up looking VERY good to your children? Well, my kids will be 1. Hollywood celebrities or 2. Politicians. Are they all not the scum of the earth? I know, that's very prejudice on my part - but I can't help myself. Those two categories of people just turn my stomach. You can't believe what either group says. They both have the same priorities (fame and money - for themselves) and they are the MOST out of touch people on the earth. I just so have to laugh.

I was informed by one of these people running for office that he has known MY nephew forever. Hmmm, I said - isn't that interesting - *I* have too!!! Ugghhh. Why is it that people get such a kick out of telling another person how much they know their family better than the person does. It's just funny. I've witnessed this happen in other people's families too.

It's CRAZY at work today. It's like everyone who got up on the wrong side of the bed have called and created a problem. And mostly silly problems where they are mistaken. Example: One lady said her tax return went from 95 to 160. When I actually looked it up it only went from 155 to 160!!! Convenient memory. :-) But she was sure nasty with me.

It certainly takes all kinds.

Saddle Up

Pardon me, while I put a saddle on my horse (my high horse).

Uggghhh - I just heard a radio ad about how Ditka has auctioned off his ring (or one of - not quite sure) for retired football players!!!! Seems there's some that aren't quite making it. Ok, not to sound like a heartless soul but PAAALEEEASEEEE! Give me a FREAKING break!!! There are SO many more people in REAL need. Solders, homeless, - I just don't recall seeing any old linebackers in the soup line at the shelter! Did the lil' pudems squander all his money on frivolous things and not use it wisely? I'm sorry - I LOVE football but I feel just NO sympathy for someone who didn't put money aside from all the money and glory that was GIVEN to you. God, gives you the ability to play football and if that is what you decide to do then you better damn well use it correctly. I know everything is relative - but I don't believe that their "need" is like other's. And if it is - too bad - they did it to themselves. With many gifts comes MUCH responsibility!!! Dang - that just ticks me off. And no, maybe they didn't get paid as much as players now a days but they did get paid and they "heard the song" - now it's time to pay the piper! After all the press about disabled vets and how they live - I'm just shocked to hear this. Not to mention Katrina victims, the tornadoes lately - there's so much need out there. I just shake my head.

Siblings

What Siblings Would Like Parents and Service Providers to Know:
If thy are provided with support and information, they can help their sibs live dignified lives from childhood to their senior years.
Sibs share many of the concerns that parents of children with spec. needs experience, including isolation, a need for information, guilt, concerns about the future, and care giving demands. They also face issues that are uniquely theirs - resentment, peer issues, embarrassment and pressure to achieve.
1. I have a right to my own life.
2. Acknowledge my concerns.
3. Don't set unrealistic high expectations for me and help me not to feel I have to compensate for my sib.
4. Expect typical behavior - teasing name-calling, arguing and other forms of conflict are common among brothers and sisters - even when one has spec. needs.
5. Expect my sib to live as independently as possible.
6. I have the right to a safe environment.
7. Give me opportunities to meet other kids who have sibs with spec needs.
8. Give me as much info about my sibling's spec need as I want.
9. Bring me into the "loop" about my sibling's future.
10. Communicate with me and let me communicate with you.
11. Give me one on one time with you.
12. Celebrate my achievements and milestones.
13. Your perspective is more important than the actual disability.
14. Actively reach out to me.
15. Learn more about my life as a sibling.
**********************************************************************

I've been reading alot about this lately. I've always said that J will NEVER be "typical" . I've heard so much advice from "family" about how to raise him and what to let him get away with and such. But truth is - he's as spec needs as she is. No one in our families have raised 1. a special needs child and 2. a special needs sibling. He IS special and "typical" discipline doesn't work on him anymore than it works on her. He's a mental battle and she's a physical one.
Right now I walk the tight rope of giving him info about her - letting him know that whatever his feelings are that they are OK - but also not creating a sib who treats her "different". Right now he just sees her as S - his sister. But the time is coming all too soon where he will realize she has some issues. I like the fact that he does push her to be like anyone else but I also want to give him a safe place to verbalize his feelings. Dang, this parenting stuff really blows sometimes.
Right now they both get about the same attention. But it will soon be more one sided. Even though I wonder just how J wouldn't rec. attention. He is just "on" all the time. :-)
He just cracks me up sometimes. I do hope I can maneuver this rope and end up with everyone being OK with 1. who they are 2. who each other is 3. who we (B& I) are.

The Housewives

Ok, did anyone see Desperate Housewives last night? The dialog between Lynette (the mom with the 3 boys and one girl) and her husband - he had hired a limo to pick her up as a surprise, drop her off somewhere kind of desolate and then he was going to pick her up in a horse and carriage. He thought he had cancelled the limo (she was exhausted and didn't want to go) but the limo came and dropped her off - he, of course, didn't pick her up because he thought it was all cancelled..... She waits and waits and waits out in the cold and all alone...... He gets word from the limo driver that no, it wasn't canceled and Lynnette was out there - he speeds to her - she, of course, is NOT happy - he says "but how excited the kids will be when they find out you saw a real, live coyote." I thought I would split a gut!!!! OMG - that's something B would SO say. God, that was funny.

We tried a weekend schedule this weekend. It went fairly well. Esp Saturday - we really kept on schedule and things were good with S. Sunday was a little fowled up - it's hard to schedule all the weekend. But she did very well. We're still working on the "nice talk". She's SO obnoxious.

I'm going to try and find some pictures so I can illustrate my social story I made for her about "nice words". I may just borrow the pictures from her other books.

J got a little prize out of the machine this weekend - it was a tiny little book. He called it a "diarrhea" (diary) :-) Oh, I lost it. It was SO funny. Then he says "maybe I'll sell it." "What? How will you sell it" "you know, on ebay." Oh, he is SO his father!

My Little Cracked Pot

An elderly woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole with she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of it's accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to lead out all the way back to your house."
The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the bath, but not on the other pot's side?"
"That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them."
"For 2 years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
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Do you notice the woman never just fills the pot half way? Everyday she fills him to the top. This story spoke to me about S. That though she's not "perfect" - she has her own special light. She "waters" my life. All the lives that she touches. And I like to think about how I should never be ok with filling her half full. I should always fill her and let the water fall where it may.