The October List

Most of you have heard me refer to this group at one point or another and you probably don't *really* get what/who they are. In 1997 we all (I think there are about 80 of us left) joined a Yahoo group called Oct 1997. The meaning of this was that we were all pregnant and had due dates of Oct 97. We had only one thing in common then: our due dates were in October - since then we have come to know all sorts of things in common. (and a lot of us didn't deliver in October) I think I joined in July sometime - a lot of them joined earlier. An email group is one where when you write to the addy of the email group it then goes out to all members. We started out as a public group - meaning anyone could join and after a year we closed the group - because 1. We feared no one just joining would be able to "catch up" and 2. We had become so close that we were sharing things that we didn't feel comfortable with "strangers" knowing. We have been together for almost 11 years now - emailing daily about EVERYTHING. We've had battles over breast vs bottle, homeschooling vs public, democrat vs republican, hospital birth vs home birth, you name it - we've covered it. Some drift off and on in times of heavy activity in real life and then check in again when we have time.

We've been through the death of still borns, miscarriages and a special little boy who managed to make it 5 years before cancer took him from us. I say that almost in passing - but believe me each one has a name and means a LOT to the list - it wasn't/isn't in passing that we think of our lost angels. Our members are all over the nation along with France, Holland, and the Netherlands being represented. We've had divorces and tales of brutality. And we've rejoiced in all of our good things and especially our other births that came later.

We face more opposition - we have two members with cancer and one with a fairly extreme heart situation. The members taking a break have all been summoned and are checking in to show their support. We all feel helpless and desperately want to be with the ones afflicted but distance stands in the way. We write notes of encouragement and tell them we're with them in spirit - we light candles and say prayers. Times like these we feel like men - wanting to "fix" it. Wanting to use our strength and make *it* go away. I find it particularly interesting that we band together - that we rally the troops and bring in our "lost" to help defend our stricken members. We are true soul sisters. When I pray with S at night I always think about my sisters and mentally bless them and send them healing thoughts.

You may think this a very trivial group - but it isn't. These unseen women - even though we've posted pictures and exchanged Christmas presents and year books - have changed my life in drastic ways. I've been forced to look at things from many points of view. I've had the advantage of being "well traveled" without leaving my house. ;-) I've become a better mother by being able to vent about things with them and having new ideas given to me from different walks of life. My spiritual side has been strengthened and opened, by people who I probably would never come into contact with in real life.

They mean the world to me and I'm amazed how deeply I feel about people I've never met face to face. All my love, cyber sisters - and THANK YOU!

Mark's Mom

I met Mark's Mom today. Bare with me as I try to explain who, what, and where. I first met Mark - well, not really met him but saw him at SRA Christmas Party where he sang Silent Night and of course I bawled my eyes out. I since then got him and another young adult confused and saw Mark on the front page of the paper doing some sport (I forget which) - and as I said to the young man who I thought was Mark - "oh, I saw you in the paper" - "no, that was Mark" he said and since then I've *kind* of kept them straight. :-)

Anywho - Mark has been in the paper more and more with track and field and Special Olympics - and I've seen him at chorus practice at the PD. So when I saw him again at the Torch Run and he ran the whole thing WITH the torch - I thought to myself "I've got to meet his Mom, she's GOT to be something." And I was right.

The reason I was so interested in meeting Mark's Mom was that even though I don't know exactly how old Mark is - I do know he's at *least* 10 years older than 2 and that means that in "those days" the special needs world was a WHOLE different arena. How true my thought was.

His Mom and I started to talk and when I asked his diagnosis she told me that she was one of the "refrigerator mothers" - that *lovely* term that was coined to describe the mother of an autistic person and *why* the child was autistic. She was told that she should put Mark in an institution. Thank GOD she did NOT listen!!!! Hurrrayyyyy for those refrigerator moms!!!! He is truly and inspiration! A very tall dark headed lad. He's always got a smile.

Well, you can imagine what happened when I told her that I thanked her from the bottom of my heart for doing all that hard work and not following "the rules" - we both started to weep (ok, you know me too well - *I* bawled). Here I am standing in the shadow of a true pioneer. She was on the first board of the American Autism Society. And her BEST work - well, he waved to us from the back of the van as they drove off to bowling club. I bawled all the way home....

Bowling Club- it was S's first time and her score was 63!!!! I'm totally impressed. She had a BALL! I can't wait to get her shoes and now I need to order a shirt for her. Daddy and I are going next week and we'll take pictures. She needs something to put up on the wall next to J's baseball picture.

Me on my horse again

This is from an About.com newsletter I receive:

" More Topics:
People with Autism? Or Autistic People?Which is the proper way to refer to people with an autism spectrum diagnosis? Vote in the poll!"


Are they kidding me with this????? WHO CARES????? WHAT DOES IT MATTER?????? When the h*** are we as a people and I mean ALL people going to get the heck over ourselves???? I mean, REALLY!!! I heard a blurb the other day that Tiger Woods apologized for saying he didn't like to watch Hockey. SERIOUSLY??????? Is this REALLY all we have to bitch about??

I'm very serious when I say that the people who respect me will ALWAYS respect me - no matter what I call myself. The people who don't 'get it' - will never. I swear people have WAY too much time on their hands if they're THAT upset by WORDS!!! WORDS, people!!! Read the book "Frindle" - you might start to think differently about WORDS!!!!!

What's next - looks? I don't like the way people look at me. They hurt my feelings when they look at me. Good God. How about we forget the WORDS and focus on insurance paying for treatments and therapies??? How about we HELP people understand our kids instead of PREACHING to others what they *should* say. I don't know - I swear some people wear autism like a badge that entitles them to be - well - nasty.

Ok - I'm climbing out of the saddle.

Camps and Concert

We got through the first day of camp. Not real happy with S's aide - but what else is new. Seems that because she's "high functioning" (HATE those terms) that they kind of put her at the bottom of the list when it comes to aides. :-( Which honestly - she may not even NEED an aide (since she's gotten MUCH better with potty). She's not a "runner" and she really doesn't push the limits - very much a rule follower - to a fault sometimes. And really ALL the counselors know her and are SO good with her. They really see to her - well to all the kids.

Again - I'm in awe at the "kids" (young adults - and probably older than I think) that work at Camp. They're all so very polite, and helpful and really full of energy. AND they all know the kids' names. One of the fellas stopped J as we were walking in and was talking to him about what group he was in. I couldn't keep all those names straight!

S starts bowling club today - after camp. It will be interesting to see how that goes. I've ordered bowling shoes online and I'm PRAYING they get her today. I think she'll have a good time.

Special Olympics Torch Run

What a proud moment - seeing my little Auti and her Daddy and MANY police officers along with all the other JBSRA athletes running by as several squad cars escorted their leg of the torch run. (3 miles)

It was a perfect day for it. Bright shining sun, no rain and just a little breeze. We all traveled from Town Center to Joliet Road with the company of the Bbk Police, Joliet Police and the JBSRA bus. S got into the bus about half way through. Daddy made it all the way!!!!

Mark carried the torch. I HAVE to meet his mother. She must be something. That boy (adult now) is really a success story! I have tears in my eyes every time I watch him do something.

J got to ride in my car and "wait" - which I had to remind him of all the times his sister waits for him while he plays baseball or does TKD or whatever the sport of the month is. It's good for him to experience her life once in a while.

S was pleased as punch and LOVED seeing all the police! I got to see a lot of my favorite tax clients (since we seem to be CPA to the cops lately) :-)

We start camp today. S seems to be VERY excited - couldn't go to sleep last night - up very early this morning. And already on my butt to make her lunch and snack. So summer starts as usual. ;-)

Another Year Gone,

Eyes are watery and hugs exchanged. School came to an end for my guys yesterday. S had Dr's appts and then today we do the Spec Olympics Torch Run.

The amount of "stuff" S brings home is always amazing! All the work my team does to make sure we have things to do over the summer - so she doesn't loose what we've worked so hard for.

S met her new aide - Mrs B and her "new" (she was Tech Club advisor) teacher - she was SO excited.

She did VERY well at the Dentist. She got her teeth cleaned and Dr G was able to get in there enough to see no cavities. We were all pleased. I assured Dr that he would indeed get money off of J. That boy has a mouth full of problems.

We got report cards yesterday. SO good. They both brought up the numbers part (follows rules, participates in class, does work neatly, etc) J of course, had MANY "exceeds" and S actually had several A's. I was VERY pleased. J's reading went WAY up (again). I can't get over how well he reads. We need to make sure that doesn't get lost over the summer either.

So we're off for Torch Run .....

I Need a Re-Post

I had to re post this because I need the lesson again. I am daily surrounded by SO many people that not only accept S but seek her out so when confronted with people who shun her I'm surprised. The look you get is SO unbelievable. And when it happens I find myself getting almost ballsie about it - just daring them to say something.






Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sunday
"You Are Understanding:Maybe you never realized how important it is to have a truly understanding friend until you had a child with special needs, and found so many friends to be unable to reach out and give you the support you needed.Whether they couldn't deal with your changed circumstances, sympathize with your problems, keep from hurtful judging, or allow you child to associate with theirs,some of the people who were once important in your life may have fallen away because at the deepest level, they were unable to understand.It's made you value those who are always there for you, unconditionally, without agenda. And it's helped you to be much more understanding parent, family member and friend yourself."

Terri Mauro

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Oh, sing it loud and proud, Sistah!!!!!!! YES, many people have fallen by the wayside and mostly it was their choice. And what's sad - they don't know what they're missing. She is a true joy. I learn stuff from her every day of my life. Yes, it's a struggle and life is harder than I ever imagined, but it's also better than I ever imagined. The people who HAVE stuck or been added: Topping the list -- L. I don't know what I would do without her. She is the friend they speak about above. She treats S just like she would anyone else. She loves me unconditionally. We have had our growing pains but we have made it through a lot! I know that if I call her she will put me back on the right track. I value her so much. She has always been in my cheering section and always pumped me up when I needed it. I so wish she could see herself through my eyes. She is a VERY special person.My sister has also been a guiding force in my life. She also sees no difference in S. She has imparted wisdom of years and relationships. She has also made me laugh along the way and provided a very much needed refuge to escape and dial down. I value her more than she knows or will admit. :-)My cyber friends have both entertained, informed me and let me vent. We've been in space for over 10 years now. I value them because they incorporate so MANY walks of life. When we started we had "only October in common" and now we have SO much more. What I find most interesting about the relationships that have been lost along the way, they were never positive ones. It's taken (still is) me a LONG time to realize that no matter what I did - it wasn't going to work out and in reality I didn't want the prize. How many years have I been in that same mess, just different faces. And what's worse - realizing all the energy that was lost on stuff that really didn't matter and wasn't going to make a difference. Energy I could have used to do other things. But you live, you learn, hopefully. :-)

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Well, I'm STILL learning this lesson. I have to say - on some things I'm very *thick*. I do the same thing over and over and over. Never *really* learning. So I question - exactly WHO has the learning disability??????

S went to social club today - out to DesPlaines. Had a GREAT time! As soon as she was back she was off to Connie's birthday party down the street. The two didn't get home till around 8:30!

We started the day off (and MOST of the rest of the day) with NO air conditioning!!!! It is the most humid and hot day we've had yet and with no air there was really nothing to do but lay around all day. B fixed the air - thank God -it's now BEAUTIFUL here!

So tomorrow I get to do all the chores I was supposed to do today. Woo hoo.

It Takes a Village...

This was written by a lady that I don't know - and I apologize for not giving her name credit - but she has an Autistic son and evidentially she and I were seperated at birth - because I SO could have written the same letter. The only thing I could add is that OTHER children learn FROM *our* kids as MUCH as they learn from others.


"It takes a Village to raise a child.

People say it so much that it sounds cliche, but if you have a child, then you know it's true. What you do as a parent is important, but you can never underestimate the power and influence of the other people in your child's life - especially the people who are with him when you are not. You choose some of the people in your child's village; others are assigned to you. You hold your breath, hand over your child to the village elders, and hope for the best.I've been thinking lately about how much courage it takes for parents - any parents, but particularly those whose children have developmental challenges - to trust the village that is the public school system.

I've been thinking, especially, about two different public school villages: the village at the regional elementary school that Bud attends and the village at the Morningside Elementary School in Port St. Lucie, Florida, that Alex Barton attended.

The villages are a study in contrast, though my hunch is that the boys in question may not be. I don't know Alex Barton, so I don't know what his school year was like. My sense, though, is that this year in Kindergarten, Alex, who is in the process of being tested for Aspergers Syndrome, exhibited some combination of aggressive behaviors, verbal and physical outbursts, emotional dysregulation, anger and defiance. So did Bud in his second grade class this year.

As I said, I don't know Alex Barton. My only information about him comes from this mind boggling news story. I'll sum it up for you: It seems that Alex's Kindergarten teacher, at wit's end with Alex, adopted an intervention strategy straight out of the reality television program Survivor. She gathered together her class of five-year-olds and held a tribal council, in which each child was encouraged to tell Alex exactly what they thought of him and his behavior. Then the children were asked to cast their votes on whether or not to keep him in the classroom.

They voted him off the island.

The day after Alex's horrifying experience at school, I joined Bud and his classmates for a field trip to a farm museum. As we prepared for the trip, I wondered how it would go - How would Bud manage the dramatic change in routine? Would my presence at a school event be a comfort or an additional source of stress? And I wondered what I would see in the interactions between Bud and his classmates. Out of necessity, we have kept my presence in Bud's classroom at a minimum this semester - a quick kiss goodbye at the door each morning with no time to linger to watch Bud with his peers as he settles in to his day. So, I wondered how Bud's classmates were reacting to him these days, after a year of witnessing what was probably startling and possibly troubling behavior from him.

I was surprised by what I saw.

Bud and I had a completely different farm museum experience from the rest of his classmates. While they gathered in small groups to learn about milking cows and raising chickens and churning butter, Bud and I set off on our own, seeking out the places that were quiet, peeking at cows from a distance, making sheep noises to each other, and walking, walking, walking, walking towards emotional regulation as we tried to work out the jitters and find a way to settle in.

But though Bud and I did not spend the day with a group, we were never outsiders. When we passed children on the grounds, they greeted Bud. They engaged with him when he responded to their greetings, and they gave him space when he didn't. By noontime, we'd found a rhythm and I convinced Bud to join a group from a distance, for just a few minutes. He stayed near (but not with) the group, and then, with a little encouragement from his teacher, worked up the confidence to reach out and stroke the downy feathers of a remarkably docile chicken.

Later, we joined the larger group again for ice cream. Bud's friend Kelly plopped down on the bench beside him, asking about his ice cream and reporting on her own, and then, when the ice cream was finished, she raced out to the field with some other children to roll down the hill. Without prompting from me, Bud ran out to join them.

Then Bud asked his teacher if she'd play hide and seek with him. She readily agreed and ran to hide while Bud closed his eyes and counted. Several children saw what they were doing and asked if they could join in. Tom was one of them. When it was Tom's turn to be "it," he closed his eyes and counted while Bud pulled me over to "hide" with him behind a slender birch tree which left all but a tiny bit of us in plain sight. Tom finished counting, looked up, and looked directly at us. Then he turned and walked in the other direction and said, puzzled, "I wonder where Bud is!"

Tom's words weren't striking - but his tone was. He wasn't playing down to Bud. There wasn't a hint of condescension in his voice. He didn't sound like an older boy playing with his baby brother. He sounded like an eight-year-old playing with another eight-year-old. Tom got it. And when he "discovered" our hiding spot a few minutes later, the thrill of the find was genuine for all three of us.

Later that day, when the field trip was over and Bud was at home with Nana, I met with the school team about Bud's IEP for next year. I recounted the story of our day, and especially Bud's interactions with his peers and his game of hide and seek with Tom. They smiled and said they were glad that I got to see what they see every day. Then one of them offered, "That's what inclusive education is all about."

And that's it, isn't it? That is what inclusive education is about. It's what all education should be about. It's what should be at the heart of the villages that raise our children. All of our children.

But it wasn't at the heart of Alex Barton's village.

In the midst of a difficult, troubling year, Alex Barton's teacher called his village together and rallied them against him. Bud also had a difficult, troubling year and, interestingly, his teacher also called his village together for a tribal meeting. Unlike Alex, Bud was not there for the meeting. And the agenda for Bud's tribe's meeting was distinctly different: one of the special ed team members came in to talk to Bud's class and help them understand Bud a little better - help them understand the things that are difficult for him, the things that are easy for him, and the things they could do to support him through the challenging times. Like Alex's village, Bud's village came together. But Bud was embraced instead of exiled.

Because that's what inclusive education is about.

Inclusive education recognizes that it takes a village to raise a child. It recognizes that Kelly and Tom and the other children in the class are an important part of the village that is raising Bud. And - more to the point - it recognizes that Bud is an important part of the village that is raising Kelly and Tom and the other children in the class. They need each other, and they know it.

Our children's lives should not be played like a game of Survivor. The real-life stakes are too high to take our cues from a reality game show. Our kids need to know that survival doesn't mean pushing others down and fighting to be the last one standing. They need to know that survival - real survival - means that we all emerge, triumphant, standing together at the end.

Bud's tribe has spoken. I hope Alex's tribe is next."

Some Obviously Smoke the Crack

"I'm trying to remember the name of a book I saw on how to vaccinateusing a safe schedule, no mercury, etc. Can anyone help? Also, whatare your thoughts on the measles outbreak in D county? I saw somepeople saying they wanted to have a party to get their kids exposed.Is that better than vaccinating? Thanks- N"

This is from a mother on one of my lists. Can I just say "Are ya kidding me with this???" Measles is NOT something to screw with. People DIE - really die - not get autism die - from measles. I know these mothers *think* autism makes their child "dead" (thank you Jenny McStupid) but measles can = the GRAVE. To me this is kind of a child abuse. What kind of mother knowingly BRINGS suffering and sickness to their child???? Have we just gone off the deep end again???

I also read some of the comments from the March on Washington and God forbid - some mother spoke up *for* vaccinations as they are now and questioned the nontesting done about "green vaccines"!!!! She will now be burned at the stake. These people are DETERMINED to just steam roll this thing - paying NO attention to those of us whose children DIDN'T get autism from vaccines and STILL have autism!!! Just burns my butt. Just like the stay at home Mom vs the work outside the home Mom debate - we scratch each others eyes out instead of joining forces and supporting each other. Ugghhh - will we just NEVER learn. Shouldn't we be learning FROM our children too - instead of being SO consumed with teaching THEM????????

My Youngest....

I went on a field trip with ALL the first graders yesterday. Oh My! I rode the bus, played on the playground, went on a hike, and ate watermelon. I got to sing "Sponge Bob" and "Everywhere we go". I also found out a few things about my youngest:

1. It was VERY important to him that I go on this field trip.
2. He has more anxiety than S does - esp about being late.
3. He has been moved (desk wise) back to the general population.
4. His teacher next year will be the one he had hoped for and the reason????

5 - He is VERY good with the special needs boy in his class - so much so that the
school feels it's important for the two of them to move up together!!!!!!!

Can I just tell you how much I had to hold the HUGE lump in my throat. See, I didn't expect that. No, I knew he wouldn't be *mean* to the boy - but to be that big a part of the child's life is HUGE to me. He gets so much of that at home I just never expected him to *seek it out* . He's become S's Quinn. It still brings tears to my eyes. I've just never been as proud of him as I was yesterday when I heard that. Challenge can bite me - I'll take someone who is good to those that society sees as "less than".

He fell asleep on the bus ride home. Drool and everything. :-) They call him "wild man, J" in school.

And my little Autie - S. Well, she's all about what the last days of school are about. She's excited to be a 5th grader next year. She also got into shopping recently. Her and I went to the store to get sandals the other night and she started looking at the clothes and we came home with 3 outfits for "good". She's so funny - wandering from rack to rack with that "oohhh" sucking in of the breath.

I haven't heard anything about the computer yet. Figure I'll kind of shake the rafters on Monday. I also need to touch base with Speech so I can get the prompts - since she insists on doing them. ;-)

Some of the Good Things About Autism

By Lisa Jo Jody

If you're sick of hearing about all the "deficits" challenging people on the autism spectrum, join the club! But for every down side to autism, there seems to be a positive -- an unusual trait that rarely appears among the "typical" community, but shines out among autistic folk. These plusses are well worth celebrating.

1. Autistic People Rarely Lie We all claim to value the truth, but almost all of us tell little white lies. All, that is, except people on the autism spectrum. To them, truth is truth -- and a good word from a person on the spectrum is the real deal.


2. People on the Autism Spectrum Live in the Moment How often do typical people fail to notice what's in front of their eyes because they're distracted by social cues or random chitchat? People on the autism spectrum truly attend to the sensory input that surrounds them. Many have achieved the ideal of mindfulness.

3. People with Autism Rarely Judge Others Who's fatter? Richer? Smarter? For people on the autism spectrum, these distinctions hold much less importance than for typical folks. In fact, people on the spectrum often see through such surface appearances to discover the real person.

4. Autistic People are Passionate Of course, not all autistic people are alike. But many are truly passionate about the things, ideas and people in their lives. How many "typical" people can say the same?

5. People with Autism Are Not Tied to Social Expectations If you've ever bought a car, played a game or joined a club to fit in, you know how hard it is to be true to yourself. But for people with autism, social expectations can be honestly irrelevant. What matters is true liking, interest and passion -- not keeping up with the Joneses.

6. People with Autism Have Terrific Memories How often do typical people forget directions, or fail to take note of colors, names, and other details? People on the autism spectrum are often much more tuned in to details. They may have a much better memory than their typical peers for all kind of critical details.

7. Autistic People Are Less Materialistic Of course, this is not universally true -- but in general, people with autism are far less concerned with outward appearance than their typical peers. As a result, they worry less about brand names, hairstyles and other expensive but unimportant externals than most people do.

8. Autistic People Play Fewer Head Games Who was that woman, and why were you looking at her? I know I TOLD you I didn't mind if you went out, but why did you believe me? Most autistic people don't play games like these -- and they assume that you won't either. It's a refreshing and wonderful change from the Peyton Place emotional roller coaster that mars too many typical relationships!

9. Autistic People Have Fewer Hidden Agendas Most of the time, if a person on the autism spectrum tells you what he wants -- he is telling you what he wants. No need to beat around the bush, second guess, and hope you're reading between the lines!

10. People with Autism Open New Doors for Neurotypicals For some of us neurotypicals, having an autistic person in our lives has had a profound positive impact on our perceptions, beliefs and expectations. For me, at least, being the mom of a son on the autism spectrum has released me from a lifetime of "should" -- and offered me a new world of "is."

This Guys Is Good - Thanks Steph

What Teachers Make, orObjection Overruled, orIf things don't work out, you can always go to law schoolBy Taylor Maliwww.taylormali.com

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers: Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.
I decide to bite my tongue instead of his and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests that it's also true what they say about lawyers.
Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.
"I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor," he says. "Be honest. What do you make?"
And I wish he hadn't done that (asked me to be honest) because, you see, I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking: if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face. How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.
I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups. No, you may not ask a question. Why won't I let you get a drink of water? Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.
I make parents tremble in fear when I call home: I hope I haven't called at a bad time, I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today. Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?" And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.
I make parents see their children for who they are and what they can be.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids wonder, I make them question. I make them criticize. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them write, write, write. And then I make them read. I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful over and over and over again until they will never misspell either one of those words again. I make them show all their work in math. And hide it on their final drafts in English. I make them understand that if you got this (brains) then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you give them this (the finger).
Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true: I make a goddamn difference! What about you?

Stick a Fork In Me!

I'm SO done! Ok - when I go to a tee ball game - it's about the boy. But instead I got stuck next to another person who does nothing but talk special needs!!! OMG! I don't think I saw one play from beginning to end! There's sometimes I just don't want to even think special needs. I was so angry and so *tired* after the game.

I *think* J did well. He has SUCH a good time at play! Of course, when we came home he stripped and was out playing with the "gang" by the time B and I had just got in and put our stuff down.

S was also in a mood. I wonder if she knows that we're discussing things that pertain to her. I wonder if she's sick of hearing about special needs too. She wouldn't sit still - she wouldn't play people - she just wouldn't do too much of anything - but whine! :-(

My Eyes Have It

No, nothing serious. I just had a check up this week and for the first time they diluted my eyes. ..... NOT a fun experience. :-/ First the drops burn - no one told me this. Second everything gets very blury. You keep blinking thinking that you can clear the eye, but noooooo. Anyway - I learned a lot from a Dr that just kept talking on and on. :-)



I have always been very sensitive to light - always wearing sun glasses - even when the sun didn't *really* warrant them. The reason : my "light" eyes. I have greenish, brownish, blueish, hazel eyes. They kind of take on different colors depending. Anyway - after checking for tears and such, he goes on to tell me how light my eyes are and that they should be very sensitive to light and the drops and all. Well, *now* he tells me. Also he says "you have very low blood pressure too - don't you?" Yeah - I do. According to him he can see this in my eyes and this is the reason I feel dizzy sometimes and can be part of the headaches. Plus, my right eye is sees much better than the left one and is compensating for this. That could produce the headaches also.

So, I get glasses (stronger) at least for the left eye and tells me I should really invest in some *good* sun glasses. I explain the children. He suggests the "unbreakable" kind. I explain Jack. :-)

Looking forward to a little "down" time this weekend. Got most of the laundry done and have kept up with the kitchen - thanks to B so I don't foresee a lot of crap to do. J has a game tomorrow - I'm hoping it's not cold or rained out. I need to get my presents out to the folks - or they'll outgrow their shirts. ha ha. Jack still has some thank yous to do too. I might even tackle my desk tonight so I can really relax this weekend. :-)

Might be a nice time to set up the lawn furniture and actually use it. Also promised J that I'd teach him how *I* was taught to bat. :-) No snickering ------- I can hear you.

Florida Teacher

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Fire-teacher-for-unprofessional-conduct

This is the story about the Kindergarten teacher who had the class take a vote to see if they should keep this little boy in their class. The vote was taken AFTER the teacher had all members of the class tell this little boy what they didn't like about him.

Not only is does this story scare the hell out of me that teachers like this actually exist but it is some of the comments listed after the story. Some people want to give her a medal! Cannot we see that there are MUCH better ways to handle this. Special Needs or not (they're saying the boy is borderline autistic) this should NEVER happen in a classroom!!! Maybe we should now give the people who read this story a vote on what should happen to the teacher.

Can I just once again say how much I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE JES!!!! *My* school ROCKS!!! ;-)

What a FUN Weekend!

So maybe I have a "convienent" memory. :-) Some funny things did happen this weekend (Memorial Day) and WE got a LOT of stuff done!

We went garage saling on Saturday. J GAVE S some of HIS money!!!!! They both left with $5 in quarters. S had to buy something at each sale. ;-) After the first sale J asked "How much did S *waste*?" :-) Too funny. On the way home S was complaining about a Arthur doll she had bought that needed a couple of stitches to hold up his glasses. I told her I could fix that with needle and thread. From the back seat - loud as can be - I hear "YOU can sew?????!!!!" In a voice that can hardly believe what I said. :-)

"Yes, J, I can sew."
"Like Gma and Aunt J?" he asks still amazed
"Well, yes."
"Then why don't you make stuff" he says - testing me
"Because I don't enjoy doing the stuff that Gma and Aunt J do, I'd rather scrap book."
"But we could have more blankets if you did"
Never fear - leave it to J to figure out how EVERYTHING can benifit him.

Sometimes I wonder that if in his eyes I'm just the dumbest woman ever put on the earth. :-) I know I'm the worst mother. ;-)

They played outside ALL weekend. The mud hardly ran down the drain after their baths. ;-) J can NOt get enough of "playing".

We got out ALL the summer stuff and *almost* have all the winter clothes put away. Yesterday it was in the 70s. Today it's around 50. Ugghh. I *do* always leave out some winter clothes - but it's just the point of it all.

S and I went to see O's game. That was really fun. I love to watch them play. Same way with Mrs G's son. J's games are getting better. It's just that I'm usually busy with whatever is keeping S occupied.

S did well this weekend. A little bit of naglet. But she can tone it down if asked. I really need to get the "softeners" in her - but I can't figure a time that it would hit at home and not at school. I totally forgot about it this weekend.

B made the BEST meals this weekend. He is such a good cook. I was SO glad he took over this weekend. AND he cleaned up. LOVE that!!!! I think he knows the government checks are getting closer to us and he wants to make sure he gets to spend his cut frivolously. ;-)

BIG News!

S is going to be a "Patrol" next year at school. Patrols kind of "patrol" the school - in the morning and after school - making sure kids don't fight in line or do "bad things". (I guess I would call them tattle tales or informers) :-) It is a BIG step for her. She's really good at knowing how one should act - it's the enforcing it with OUT physical contact that will be hard for her. :-)

I can't believe that all too soon we'll be saying goodbye to another set of teachers. And then in one VERY short year it will be time for Jr High. Just where did the time go? It's funny looking back at all of our "autistic phases" that we went through - feces smearing, drooling, non-verbal, potty training (at age 10), a room that was in FANTASTIC order and her getting ticked when it wasn't, tantrums, yelling out, and yes, we do still have *some* of those symptoms - we sure have come a LONG way! I can't WAIT to see where she goes from here. :-)

We had our school book fair at Barnes and Noble last night and --- O M G! Both S and I were like kids in a candy store. I think she would have taken one of everything and so would I. J on the other hand, was overwhelmed, I think. It was very hard for him to choose and he didn't "want anything". I think he was afraid he'd take the wrong thing. He also fought me about getting toys instead of books. WHY do they sell toys in the bookstore? I know some of the toys go with the books but there's a LOT that don't!

Mrs H turned me on to a book that has to do with an autistic child and a NT sibling, and I found 2 more CS Lewis' that I hadn't read yet. I'm set for some good summer reading. The bad thing is that with S's swimming lessons over for the summer - I don't have a nice chunk of time that's pretty much un-interrupted. :-(

Looking forward to a nice long weekend. I have a lot to do - STILL haven't exchanged summer for winter clothes! But the weather hasn't really demanded that it be done - and you know me - never do something till it's a deadline! :-)

I'm also planning on finishing the planting and painting the fence and in general clean up "the grounds". I've decided we should paint the fence with chalkboard paint and then get a bird feeder to store the chalk. That way it won't sit out in the weather but would be able to find also. We'll see how that idea flys with the power that be. :-)

The Birthday is FINALLY Over!

Thank the Good Lord - we're finally done with J's birthday. The day is actually the 14th but it seems like we've been "celebrating" for over 2 weeks! Aunt J came up this weekend and we went to see the baseball game.

The bouncy castle - or dinosaur arrived on Sunday at 9am and stayed till 8pm. At one time there were 13 children out there! We had hotdogs, chips, cupcakes and ice-cream and of course Popsicles the whole day.

J received a game ball on Saturday because he drove in both the tying and winning run. Granted he stopped to tie his shoe on 2nd - but nevertheless he felt like a star. :-) I find it so humorous how serious people get about this. Most of the kids are almost oblivious to what's going on but the parents get into it like it's a life or death situation. Parents...... they're just nuts.

I've been sick the last couple of days. Not sure how much is physical and how much is mental. I'm just really tired. Mentally beat up.

My little "Autistic" is talking non-stop and as usual hits the ground running and expects the same from me. I don't re-charge as well as she does. She's having problems in the potty dept again. I think it's just one of those things. Roller coaster kind of progress. We just "keep on keepin' on".

Looking forward to haircut and a little *me* time today. Still need to do some laundry when I get home - but we get dinner out tonight because it's "school dinner night". That's kind of nice - start tomorrow with a clean kitchen.

Do You Trust Meds or Not?????

I'm on several email lists about autism. One link in all of them - their children were all poisoned by vaccines. The few of us that don't believe this learn very early to keep our mouths shut less you wake the lion and get your butt flamed. But just this morning I read a post about someone having problems getting a child to sleep through the night. Benedryl was first suggested then more and more drugs. It occurred to me that if you believe your child was poisoned why in God's name would you be putting more medication (made by the evil drug company) into a child and for no more purpose than your own comfort.

Now, don't get me wrong - I don't have one problem helping a child to sleep in a responsible way if only for your own personal sanity. BUT - I don't preach to all who will hear how my kid was poisoned and that my child "died in front of my very eyes". A quote that I SO hurt for people who really do loose a child never hear.

Not to mention that fact that a lot of these same people use meds to keep their child in check. So vaccines are bad and meds are good? Doesn't make good sense does it? I don't know - I don't have all the answers but I DO believe that just as no child with autism is the same - neither is the cause and to take matters to the legal system creates another problem all together.

Just a little food or drugs for thought.

I'm The Birthday Boy!

This is what we heard out of J's room yesterday morning! We had our usual birthday breakfast, sang to him, blew candles and recited his birth story - which he absolutely loves. Then we took his brownies and apple juice to school. He was SO proud and SO excited!

S and I had picked up the treats at Walmart the night before. She loves going shopping and J loves to have someone get the stuff he dictates. :-) The only problem was S peed her pants right in the checkout. She was pretty upset. Thank God she had a jacket on. I tied it around her waste and notified the checker that there was a need for a mop. It was raining outside so no one even noticed. I think it was because we had been talking to someone in line who was from JES and I think she just waited too long. "That's an accident and accidents happen, right Mom" she said. I didn't even scold her - just told her to remember to tell me right when she first feels the pee.

J and Daddy went to the batting cages last night. Then we went out for birthday dinner - guess where. That's right - Mc Ds. :-) S actually initiated talking with a little girl that was there. Asked her how old she was and where she went to school. I was quite impressed.

We have a baseball game tonight, I'm just praying it doesn't get so cold again. :-( S and I have swimming lessons first. She LOVES swimming, and *I* love that! :-)

Thoughts of a Mom
By Maureen K. Higgins

Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you out every day. I've looked for you on the Internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores. I've become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are my "sisters."

Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite sorority.We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail. We were initiated in neurologist's offices and NICU units, in obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries. All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our toddler. Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed. Something wasn't quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs. We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children's special needs.

We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes. We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find. We know "the" specialists in the field. We know "the" neurologists, "the" hospitals, "the" wonder drugs, "the" treatments. We know "the" tests that need to be done, we know "the" degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and psychiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children. We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it.

We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us on line. We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections.

We have learned that many of our closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our sorority, and don't even want to try. We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley's "A Trip To Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The Special Mother." We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours. We have coped with holidays. And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family. We've gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we'd make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we did it.

We've mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy.We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent. And we've mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip. But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing.Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars.
*******************************************************************

OH! Sing is my Sistah!!!!! Ain't it the truth! I'm always amazed at how EXHAUSTING "special living" can be! I always think it's just me till I run into another Mom or *my* Mom has S for a week. I LOVE her so much it doesn't *seem* that different - till she's gone and I get to experience that "normal" life. :-) There's only a very few days I'd trade. I'm glad.

She is the *I* in her IEP

Team meeting yesterday. This kid is just going GANG BUSTERS! She took what they call a 4th grade probe - she read 43 words!!!! That's grade level - baby!!!!! What's really funny - I was stopped 3 times in the hall before I actually got to the meeting and was told congratulations. The WHOLE school is S's teacher. :-) We also started the *PROCESS* of getting her a laptop for class next year. You know the State - have to document and prove everything 3 times over. Puts me right over the edge. But we're looking at having one by next Sept - if not - B and I have decided we would furnish one.

I also got to see some really COOL new software out there. Like the "smart" stuff - once she types a letter a screen will pop up with words for her to pick from. I'm very excited about this. I thought Tech Club was just going to be a chance for her to be more independent and practice social skills and here she busts through that too. She really should be the poster child for inclusion. She has really blossomed. Thank God for Mrs Anderson!!!

J's game was cancelled on Wed - we were ALL so bummed. I really don't know why - it had stopped raining several hours before - but maybe the fields just couldn't be saved. Who knows. But I was really bummed. J, of course, just ran off to play - no skin off him. :-) God, he LOVES to play outside!

We received a box of books from Aunt Betty this week. We were ALL excited. They are SO cute. Lots of "Children's Letters to God" and that type. J is loving reading them before bed. He also brought home a Junie B Jones book that we're almost done with. We read while S is at swimming lessons. I love Junie B - she reminds me a LOT of J. :-)

We were all up at 6 am today - woo hoo. :-/ ughhh. Got to get our "playing" in before school. They're begging at 7 to go get the neighbors. I hold them off till 8 and then the neighborhood is up for grabs.

I'm planning on planting all my *stuff* this weekend. I thought I could get laundry done and take it easy but no going. :-/ Such is Mother's Day weekend. :-)

Oh Yeah - THAT's the job I want my kid to have!

PALEASE! The White Sox apparently have a blow up doll in their locker room with bats going up into "strategic" places. This was all done to break the "curse" of bad and no hits. Hey, I got a CRAZY idea - how about BATTING PRACTICE????!!!!!!



This will now be my MAIN example of why I think professional ball players are HUGE WASTES - and seriously DON'T have the sense God gave a goose! Yes, they have the right to do this - but *I* have the right to see and treat them as the 12 year olds that they so obviously are! And I shudder when I think that my child may very well want to be a pro ball player one day - and then I see me telling him (and yes, I WOULD put MY opinions ON my child for this one) how STUPID (yes, S I said stupid) the profession is. Baseball not exclusive - this is true. Benson, from the Bears was arrested recently and don't get me started with Urlacher and his Baby Momma crap. They're idiots, the whole lot of them. No one kept them grounded when they were growing up. No one told them that when God gives you a special talent He EXPECTS a LOT from you. And not just on the field. Ok, I'll step off my horse now. :-)

Take Me Out To The Freezer?

DANG! It was COLD at the diamond today!!!! We all dressed in our J finery and our Purple Murple outfits and headed out to face the winds, rain and COLD!

But as luck would have it, cold seems to be no threat to the boy. He was on fire today. Well, as on fire as a 6 year old can be. :-) He went 3/3 at the plate and handled himself VERY well behind the plate. Catching seems to be his thing. He also scored the tying run (by SLIDING into home and getting conked on the head) and was the only person to hit the ball into the outfield. The thing is - I'm not quite sure who was more excited J or his dad. :-)

We had after game dinner at Culver's and we talked and talked about J's game. As we went to a different topic he politely asked "Excuse me, can we talk about my baseball again?" Like there was a choice. :-)

So we dropped the girl off at Social Club (today was Cinco De Mayo Party) and headed to Wal-Mart to buy a new glove. All you die hard baseball fans - don't worry - I'm saving the old glove - just in case all the luck is in it. :-)

As we're walking through the store he turns to his Dad and asks "Who were we versus today?" He cracks me up, that boy.

So the girl comes bouncing up the stairs from Social Club and produces a back pack full of *stuff*. The obviously had pinatas' and lots of candy. :-) She's smiles from head to toe. What a difference an evening can make. :-)

I Wish...

"I wish S didn't have Autism." J's words ring true in my ears. "Yeah, well, then she wouldn't be S would she? She wouldn't say things like *you're a nice boy, J*.

"She might," he answered me.

"No, autism is as much a part of S as her eye color or being right handed. It's the way she sees the world."

This whole little conversation came up as we put J to bed - after leaving a family gathering rather abruptly. S was very close to melt down totally tonight. It was too warm, too loud, too close and she was tired and she couldn't really "get away "or "tune out" as she does. We tried a walk outside - but being dark I think it scared her just a little. Or at least put more anxiety in her. I'm VERY tired. My anxiety doesn't help either in the situation. And thus, this is why we don't go many places that we don't know well.

I feel very bad for B and J. They were having SUCH a good time. I MUST remember that next time we should take two cars. It doesn't seem fair to punish EVERYONE. I also feel sorry for S. It gets crazier and crazier as the years go by with meltdown prevention.

Autism is NOT a tragedy it is the fact that MOST of us are unversed in the autism language and don't know how to help them maneuver this crazy world. Hell, most of the time*I* can't maneuver the world. Little secret: the walk tonight was as much for me as it was for her. I just can't do the loud and crazy anymore. :-)

Yesterday...

was the best day in J's life. If you're a loyal reader you know that this has been said several times before. :-) The reason for this particular "best day" was that the after school daycare took them skating. *I* personally, thought it was fantastic. They paid for skating and snack. How nice is that. JS Elem School just gets better and better for us. I've never met so many nice and concerned people. Not to mention on the top of their game.

So, I had lunch with the Wild Boys yesterday. That's always fun and interesting. :-) Seems one of their co-workers is really getting up there in age and is having some difficulties. They were making fun of it because - well - that's what they do - but it's really kind of sad. There's so many people having to work longer and longer and still not making it. Bossman told me that stats say that the next generation will actually be *poorer* than the one before. How sad is that.

S informed me that I was "a nice girl" yesterday because I asked her if she was ok when she had a little coughing attack. She is SO funny sometimes. We had to watch "Naughty Kids" (the rest of you know it as "Supernanny") this morning - I had taped it last night. She is really into that. But thank God we don't have to watch reruns over and over like we did before. She's content with just one showing.

Gma sent money and treats yesterday - for good report cards. I don't think my guys really *get* that. And I'm sure that's really a bad thing. :-) J was SO excited to see the box on the front porch. Telling all his friends that he got a present! I so want that shirt "it's all about J".

Tonight is the regular baseball practice and swimming lessons with the encounter of Mothers of "neuro-typical" children. I have to admit it's kind of entertaining in a way. Kind of a life boat kind of way. ;-)

SO Early!

S is intent on being up before 6am every day. I usually don't mind too much - I'm kind of a morning person also - but today I had a headache and that little screechy voice and freezing cold feet just didn't set well. Not to mention that S hits the ground running and pretty much expects everyone else to do the same.

As I tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen she was already asking if she could have pancakes for breakfast. To my HUGE surprise J volunteered to make them!!! As I watched from my office chair J micro'd the pancakes and sausage, cut them up for S - AND got the juice out and poured it and returned it to the fridge - all without a spill!!! I felt as if my test results had come back and J had seen them first. :-) I couldn't believe it.

Of course the minute breakfast was consumed J started asking when he could "go knock on doors" - in other words - when could he go out and play with the neighbors. When I told him that he could go at 8:00 AND that he HAD to brush his teeth really well before he went out. He not only put toothpaste on S's brush but tried to get her to brush her teeth herself. That little "disappointed" tone "Oh, S - I thought you were going to do it yourself." Made my heart just melt.

On the way to school J told me it was the best day of his life. (he's had MANY of these days) :-)But this one is because the after school daycare is taking all the kids skating today. He has the money for snack for both of them and he was all smiles as he headed to class today.

Last day of no boss man for me. The office is so quiet and there are virtually no phone calls. He returns tomorrow and with that more work than ever. :-) I'm having lunch with the hubby today just as a celebration. :-)

"You did a great job."

This is what S told me this morning. :-) When she went to bed last night I had 2 loads of laundry spread out over my bed. This morning she got up, crawled in bed with me and said "you put the clothes away? You did a great job." She is SO cute.



We had the "girl talk" at school yesterday. S and I talked about it and got some pads and put them in her room. She seemed to understand. She was attentive during the "talk" until about 1/2 through - then she lost interest and did her usual "shut down" , "what you doing" thing.

*I* thought the talk was wonderful. A very nice mix of morals without judgement and a LOT of acceptance. Plus a kind of "celebration" of being a girl. I really liked that. I really wish that would have been done for us. But could have should have.

So S and I will have an ongoing convo about this and I'll have to invite her in when it's "my time". Lord, give me strength. It's all so crazy. Within one school year this child has gone from Pull Ups to talking periods. If her head's not spinning - mine sure is!

"Ladies! There are Children Watching!!"

This is what I said VERY loudly at swimming lessons the other day. Damn. Swimming always brings me into the all too prominent community of BUSY-NESS. You know, those mothers who have over-scheduled, and over medicated themselves and/or their children and have a WAY off view of life. Imnsho. 2 times a week S and I go to watch (almost like a zoo field trip) these wacko people- 99.9% women. And they say the handicapped are fun to watch - I BEG to differ.

So here's the story. We're all sitting on the sides - kids are in the water for lessons. It's the 30 minute mark and some kids are done (S gets an hour) so there are little ones in the shallow end playing. One little boy is kicking AT (not connecting mind you) another boy. The mother(let's call her cell phone) gets up, shouts at the other mother (at LEAST 3 yards away) "do you see what your son is doing". The other mother - lets call her redneck (so we don't get confused)- gets up, screams at the kid, gets him out and then goes to her "corner". Cell Phone tells her son that the next time the kid does that "kick him hard". LOVELY! (and we wonder why kids are bringing guns to school) anyway - Redneck then gets up and stands at least 10 feet away from Cell Phone and starts yelling at her that Cell Phones' son hit her son in swim lessons. They're going back and forth screaming. The kids in the pool are ALL staring - wide eyed - glazed over at these two. I look over and very *loudly* say "Ladies, There are children watching!". As you might expect that doesn't go over too well. "Take it outside already".

I mean DAMN - if that is your BIG deal of the day - well you best get on your knees and thank the Lord almighty that you have a pretty GOOD life!!!! So I get the scowl all night. Well, bite me! You know, live in MY shoes - you'll find out REAL quick what's important. And I'm not talking about *Me* as in personal - anyone who has a special needs child - We DON'T get upset about that petty stuff - and neither should you. Not like that. Wooooooo, I'd LOVE to write a book. And you know who I'd ask to do a lot of it?? Donna P. Ok, she is the funniest Mom I know.

I met up with Donna and Jordon and family at the baseball game. God, it was good to talk to her in person - we email all the time. Anyway - she says what I'm thinking - a LOT!!! I'll never forget when I first met her and we were in line at Early Childhood to sign in for one of the parent meetings. She turned to the lady between her and I and said "oh, you're just sensory issues." I about peed my pants. Her and I have the same feelings about a LOT of the children out there who aren't really handicapped by nature but by their parents. Anyway - since then - her and I kind of gravitated towards each other. Jordan has MUCH more physical problems than S does - he has seizures - a LOT and I've always admired the way Donna deals with it. Kind of like I dealt with dirty diapers for 10 years - only the difference is dirty diapers would never take my child away - seizures could for Jordan. But you should see this child - don't get me wrong - I have seriously NEVER seen an ugly child and esp a special needs child - they have a light that just shines within them - but Jordan is seriously over the top gorgeous! S and him have been best buddies since they were 3 when they departed k-garten he went to one school and S to another. They live on the west side. :-)

S brought home her power point cd Tuesday. It's SO good. She picked Monkeys - because it's "her favorite animal". Mrs L says she did all the work herself. Picking sounds, facts, pictures. She really did a great job. Who knew she'd do so well at this. Now I'm even more on the point of getting S her own laptop for school next year. I'm very excited about her improvement in school because of this.

Met with L & V yesterday. Got to see L's house - omg - it's beautiful!!! She has the best taste in colors and such. We had a really fun meeting. They always make me laugh and make me feel more positive. I love her.

Ordered shirts for S and I about J. I think he'll be pleased. Hopefully they'll get here by his next game. He's been getting up so early so he can go out and play. He's out at 7:30 each morning playing. He's getting kind of grouchy - so I see him crashing and burning soon.

People are Amazed!

Talking to the bossman this morning I commented about how S cannot spit. He was amazed. Talking on the phone to my sister the other night she said the same thing. I guess I never thought about it. Sometimes you get in a routine and you don't even think about what all you're doing. There's a lot of stuff like that with S. When we FINALLY got the potty thing down and I was telling my Mom, she said she didn't think it was that important to me because I never really complained about it or mentioned it much. Are you kidding me??? There's SO many things that S can't do (yet). It's really physically exhausting - like having a 90 pound 2 year old. But yet she understands things at a much more highly functioning area.

This morning she reminded her Dad about bringing home hats and crayons (stuff the Village gives away at functions) - because they were out of them when we went to the Arbor Day celebration on SATURDAY! Do you remember things like that from 2 days ago? *I* don't! She's amazing!

The weekend was fantastic! Sunday the kids were outside from 7:30 am till 7:30 pm!!! As I was putting J to bed he said "but I didn't even get to watch tv today". Nothing is EVER enough for that boy!!! Wonder where he gets *that*?????

First coach pitch game tonight. Ought to be interesting. B thinks J could be a good catcher. (Lord, help us) Have you *seen* Bull Duram - somehow I see J as more the "meat" character!
:-) There's whispering in the ranks that S wants to play tee ball. *How* do I address *this* request? ugghh.

I've told S that we're going to talk about growing up to be a woman on Wed. night. We get the school "girls' talk" on Friday so I thought I'd just introduce a little and see where she's at. Can I just tell you how much I'm DREADING that time in her life. I'm hoping they may develop a pill that allows you to have NO periods (and her and I can BOTH be on it) ;-) I'm trying very hard to stay positive about this subject and the changes it will bring to our "happy" home. :-) - Did I say changes ? Maybe "challenges" would be more like it. :-)

Say It Play It........

Oh, what a very very cute performance!!! The kids outdid themselves last night. They were SO good. S introduced the show "Welcome. Enjoy the show." :-) It was So cute. She did a fantastic job!!!

It was a very crazy night of running and we all know how I feel about *that*. :-) I got home from work with just enough time to change and pee and then pick up S & J and go to S's swimming lessons - then after that get her dressed (hurriedly) and drop off J at baseball practice, come home - comb our hair - get a drink and then off to the school. It was nice that it did really *fit* the time - nothing overlapped - but I still don't like that feeling of hurry.

So afterward we asked S where she wanted to eat - Mickey Ds!!! ;-) We got home about 8:55 and it dawned on me that I needed to enter Market Day orders that I had from school and cut off is 9:00!!! Well, guess what..............

I MADE IT!!!! I couldn't believe it but when I was done and checked order status they were all there!!! YAY! Now *that's* cutting it WAY to close for me!

So this morning seemed very lax compared to last night. They were both dressed by 7:45 and out and playing with the neighbors. I'm really liking our new neighbors - their kids get up at the crack of dawn too. :-)

We all walked to school today and then I went into work. My Mom called this morning and reported that Dorothy had passed away. It's sad but yet a blessing - she was getting worse and worse as time went on. I know my Mom will really miss her. S too. S and Dorothy were buddies at quilting. "Be careful, pins stick." :-)

I got tagged

My blog got tagged (thank you Julie) - here's the results:

1. Name: Kelly
2. Occupation: Bookkeeper/Secretary/ worst Mom in the world (according to J)
3. Best part of job: My hours - since I pretty much make my own when reports aren't due
4. Worst part of job: Filing
5. Dream job: SAHM with unlimited income. :-)
6. College: Some - not enough for my degree but enough for a license. ;-)
7. Area of Study: Cosmetology and Early Childhood - don't *they* go together?????
8. Best Part of College: Parties
9. Worst Part: Parties
10. Best Friend in High School: Todd and Theresa
11. Do you still keep in touch: Todd yes - Theresa no
12. Teacher that made biggest impression on you: Mrs Kornowski and Mrs Rueschel (yes, Todd I know you HATE her) :-)
13. Best thing parents did for you: Taught me to be responsible
14. Best thing a friend ever did for you: Married me
15. Best thing you ever did for a friend: Married him right back
16. Personal Hero: Eleanor Roosevelt
17. A death that really got to you: Sally Stein
18. Bar soap or body wash: Bar - the best comes from MN
19. Mouse or Gel in the hair: Depends on the day
20. Ever been to a county fair: Yes
21. Ever been to the circus: No
22. Ever been to a concert: I can count them on one hand
23. Favorite state to visit: Don't have one
24. Dream vacation: A couple of days with NO kids and nothing to do.
25. Favorite fruit: watermelon
26. Favorite vegetable: red peppers
27. Best invention ever: DVR
28. Favorite thing to do on the weekend: Read the paper in bed and then nap.
29. Ever had surgery: They cut me open twice and took out two humans!
30. Favorite thing to blog about: The kids

Real Problems

The health concerns in the Oct list have really been weighing on my mind. It really puts things into perspective. All the petty petty things we concern ourselves with instead of just appreciating life - warts and all. I read a passage out of a book last night that was something along the lines of "chores became fun and a chance to become closer rather than something to endure to get to relax". I like that and decided to adopt that in our house.

I'm off today - a well deserved break - if I do say so myself. I have actually started quarterlys and all sales tax is done so I'm sitting pretty. :-)

J has decided that he wants to be a "walker" today and come home right after school but S wants to go to daycare. You never know about those two. :-)

Why?

It just seems so unreal sometimes. E has breast cancer. Why? She's so vibrant, so upbeat and *real*. Same with L who seems to have one tragedy after another in her life. It really tests my faith sometimes.

Greece is such a long way away and still I feel very close to her. I hurt for her. I can't imagine how it must feel. Prayers said, healing thoughts sent.

On a MUCH lighter note - today's the day. All the nasty people are coming out of the woodwork. All the people who are NEVER at fault. Ugghh. Anyway - day off tomorrow and a hair appt. Seems very appropriate. I'm in very much need of a really good laugh and the best part - I get to see my buds Sig, Phil, Johnathon and Edgar tonight. I stand in awe of what they do and shake my head in disbelief saying continuously "F That!!!" :-)

Some things I've been thinking about....

First - a big CONGRATS to the Swiseman! He's even on UTUBE!!! Seeing him just brought back all those memories of Rich W and his impressions and Trevor and John Mark and Lori W and the gang singing in the stands. Are we really *that* old??? Dang. He also reminded me of my father - it must be the era or the area. They talk a lot alike. Of course my Dad has a huge admiration for Swise. "He's forgotten more about baseball than I'll ever know". This coming from *my* Dad says a lot. Anyway - it's well deserved and I think the record just may go into the 1000s! ;-)

So I was thinking about how different people act. This has always amazed me that some people act one way with certain people and act a totally different way when not with those people. Which makes me wonder - just who IS the person? And then I wonder - do we ALL do this? Do *I* act one way and then a whole different way with others? And I'm not talking how you automatically start saying "sir" when stopped by a cop or please and thank you when you're with your Grandma - I'm talking about really different personalities. How one time you're really laid back and good natured and then the next minute (without help from pharmaceuticals or alcohol) you're ready to fight anyone and everyone, and it all *seems* to be linked to certain people either being or not being present. And even though I totally believe that either way YOU are the one in charge of your conduct (like "someone *made* you do something") I just wonder how and why others affect us. That probably did not make a whole lot of sense but if you've seen it happen you know what I'm talking about.

On a totally different note: my kids: My kids are shocking the CRAP out of me lately!!! Report card time - S did very well in grades (big whoop) but did MOST excellent in the numbers (ie: attends to work, participates in class, organizes herself well,) !!! She brought up a lot of her stuff. And J - well he just knocked it way out of the park!!! He got all Ms and Es (meets and exceeds) AND he also brought up ALL his numbers AND his sloppiness (yes, he still needs to be neat and work on that - but at least he's not "below" - as he was last quarter). His comprehension test came back too - 83 percentile in the NATION - meaning he's over 83 percent of all first graders in the nation! THAT's unbelievable! Even his "reasoning" test was good - THIS scares me. I mean - we all knew he'd read early (he sat in on homework for the last 4 years of his life) and I knew his comprehension was good - but reasoning - that can't be taught (well, not easily - that's for sure). So I'm QUITE proud of ALL the Daves!

S is learning to do power point in tech club. She LOVES going early and doing all this. She's really getting more and more independent! She even ASKED if she could try getting dressed by herself after swimming last night. Of course *that's* not the *best* time to try - we're all crowded in there like sardines and we're all hurrying around. So I told her she could try this weekend when we have plenty of time!!! :-) I'm just amazed at what's going on with her lately!!!

He Did it!!! He Did it!!!! GO BIG BLUE!

A DUERRISMS COMMENTARY: SWISEGOOD AS IT GETS
When I first started covering high school baseball in the Tri States fourteen years ago, Southeastern Coach Dave Swisegood was one year shy of the mandatory retirement age.
In the time that has passed since, we've watched Lonnie Lemon morph from QND Baseball coach into the Superintendent of Quincy Schools. I've seen Robin Lewis eclipse his legendary father Ed in making Beardstown Baseball a state powerhouse. We've watched highly successful and respected Swise contemporaries like Lon Fulte and Rick Parker come and go. And we've seen kids who were tween back in 1995 like Travis Cooley, Scott Gaines, and Darren Perdun, become the next generation of promising young baseball coaches. Put simply, change has come. Significant change.
Yet here is Swise, still standing on third base, still imploring his kids to "Spin the Wheel"
For fifty two years of his life, Dave Swisegood has put on "the monkey suit" as he calls it (even wearing the batting gloves up until a few years ago) and worked tirelessly to promote the betterment of young people through the sport of baseball. And note my very deliberate use of the phrase "worked tirelessly" because.....
Now 77 years old, Dave Swisegood has more energy and enthusiasm for what he does than any human being I know, in any profession I can think of. Feel free to consider the source on that one. I am exactly half Dave's age and have never been accused of lacking for job enthusiasm. Put a baseball cap on Swise and he puts me and my contemporaries to shame.
As trite and cliché as it might sound, Baseball is Dave Swisegood's fountain of youth. Or more accurately, teaching baseball.
Spend any considerable time around the man and you get the sense that he will never willingly retire from coaching; that he never has given it a single thought despite his "advancing age." There are many in the CSE Baseball Community who believe the day Swise walks away from the game; walks away from the teaching of the sport that he so loves, that his health will start to deteriorate. The "love of the game" so deeply rooted into his spirit that he simply can't live without it. Spend any time talking to the man about baseball and kids and that notion is hard to dispute. It's also nearly impossible not to instantly share his love for what he does the minute he starts talking about the game, the kids. And that to me has been the greatest part of this whole circus....
Over the last week, the humble and hardworking Dave Swisegood became the IHSA's resident "Rock Star." With win number 893, the new state high school career record, Swise has gotten the kind of media coverage in all circles far too absent his career. And as result, a whole new group of people are being introduced to this wonderful gentleman-coach and all he stands for. The more voices that join the chorus, the more I hear casual sports fans talking about "that legendary coach at Southeastern." I had two different women today approach me about Swise and use the word "charming" in describing him from Tyler Fulghum's story on Monday. (Who thought we would live to see that dawn of Swise-Groupies, but I digress....)
The important thing here is that we have lived to see something rare and special happen in Tri State sports this week. All of the values that Dave Swisegood has stood for have paid off in success both tangible and intensely personal to the man who crafted this amazing record. And he has graciously allowed so many of us, both close to him and on the periphery share in this wonderful story. It's an unbelievable number of wins, 893. More importantly, that number represents countless lessons taught to his players, that still echo today in their ears when times get tough and real life throws them a curveball. That impact is far more important to Dave Swisegood than any IHSA mark. And it is celebrated, knowingly or subconsciously, every day of those people's lives. Legacies get no better than that....
One might say this Wins Record could be the perfect swan song to a phenomenal career. Those people don't know Dave Swisegood very well.
Me? I am still trying to figure out what number victory Swise will be chasing 15 years from today.
Keep Spinning the Wheel, my friend.
For all of us.

I'm amazed!

We had yearly IEP meeting yesterday! There were SO many things that I was amazed at. #1 would be that S is at late 1st early 2nd grade reading level!!!!!! That blows me away! That's only 2 grade levels away !!! There were a lot of really good "S stories". She is a real character. Took Mrs V to the office "you'll see when we get there". Seems like since we have mastered the bathroom she has really grown in independence! She participates in class a LOT and she's doing a Science project with Bella and Valeria. I'm so proud of her I could just BUST!

That brings me to "the boy" (said in a growling voice). Lord, if that child doesn't break me - nothing will. He is just SO hard! He had a TOTAL meltdown yesterday when we told him he was going to breakfast at school because we had a meeting. Crying - hyperventilating - the whole thing. All because two boys picked on him at breakfast. (or so we thought). We told him that we would talk to Ms O and she would be aware of the problem and be able to help him. He got there - he sat with Austin (I thought) and all was fine. Well, when him and I discussed the whole thing later at night it all comes out that he WANTED to sit by these two boys - and that they told him he couldn't because there was a seating arrangement and the boy who I thought was Austin was actually Angelo - one of the kids he wanted to sit with in the first place. Talk about "Oscar Award". I don't think any girl could out drama this child! So, I've really got my work cut out for me when it comes to getting this child to adulthood.

Tax season is winding down and I'm trying to figure out a good schedule that allows me to be with my children but still not so much that I want to kill them! :-) Plus, we have baseball and swimming to work around and school things. S is really into the extra curriculars. She wants to play basketball, baseball, and be in the talent show. :-) She is a total over achiever! :-)

One More, Swise!!!!! Go Big Blue!

Central-Southeastern baseball coach Dave Swisegood meets with his players after winning Friday night’s game against Canton. Swisegood now has 892 career wins, moving him into a tie for the most all-time wins in Illinois High School Association history. (H-W Photo/Jennifer Coombes)

Click here to view the Whig Gallery
By MATT SCHUCKMAN
Herald-Whig Sports Writer
AUGUSTA -- Most of the Central-Southeastern baseball players had a theory for what Suns coach Dave Swisegood might do with the game ball used to record the final out in Friday's 10-1 victory over Canton.
"He'll probably use it to hit infield tomorrow," catcher Garrett Janssen joked.
Don't bet on it.
Although he tucked it in his coat pocket for the time being, Swisegood had plans for the ball that commemorated his 892nd career victory, which tied him with Oak Park-River Forest coach Jack Kaiser for the most in Illinois High School Association history.
"I'm going to put it right on the mantle," said the 77-year-old Swisegood, who will attempt to break the record Monday when the Suns (6-4) travel to Lewistown. "And I'm going to look at it."
He expects it to elicit a flood of memories.
"The real memories I'll have are of the players who have given me that," said Swisegood, who has a career record of 892-480. "I mean that. I've been blessed with good players."
Like the ones who made the record-tying victory look so simple.
Sophomore left-hander Sean Grosnic did not allow an extra-base hit, struck out six, walked two and picked off one in his most high-profile and pressure-packed start of the season.
"I really wanted to pitch the record-tying or record-breaking game," Grosnic said. "But I'm so speechless about it. I'm just glad I won."
His composure was critical, especially when a throwing error by shortstop Regan Bruenger and back-to-back singles -- all with two outs -- led to Canton (5-1) taking a 1-0 lead in the top of the third.
"Last year, a couple bad things may have gotten to him a little bit," Janssen said. "I think that shows his maturity. He's grown up a little bit. He's pretty good. When he's on, he's tough."
Getting some help from his defense made Grosnic tougher.
Following the error in the third, Central-Southeastern buckled down to end two innings on force plays at second base and closed the game with a double play on a grounder up the middle that left Swisegood smiling.
"Swise is a competitor," Janssen said. "Anything it takes to win, he's all for it."
That's especially true of taking an extra base.
Down 1-0 in the third, Brent Kassing got C-SE's rally started with a one-out walk. Markus Vonholt doubled to right-center field -- the only extra-base hit in the game -- took third on a wild pitch and scored on a throwing error by Canton catcher Lucas Barton.
In the fifth, the Suns plated three more as two runs scored on wild pitches and Kassing stole home on the back end of a double steal.
"What I really appreciated the most was they got the first run and we came right back," Swisegood said. "Any coach loves that. We didn't fold up the tent."
No Swisegood-coached team ever will, which is why the all-time victory record is nearly his alone.
"I'd be lying if I said it didn't mean anything," Swisegood said. "I still think the thing I am the happiest about is my team having success. Those guys deserve this. I haven't had a hit all year. They are getting it done."
There's extra incentive for that.
There's history being made.
"It's unbelievable," Janssen said. "That doesn't even happen just once in a lifetime. As many years as he's been around is what's remarkable. He's just a legend."
That's why a legendary celebration awaits.
Other than an ovation from the small crowd gathered at the Southeastern High School field and an on-field cheer from his team, the postgame activities were fairly similar to Swisegood's first 891 victories.
"The next one is the one we're waiting for," Janssen said.
That's when Swisegood will stand alone.
-- mschuckman@whig.com/221-3366

Nearing the end..

Tax season is drawing to a close. Thank GOD! I'm really looking forward to a. one day off a week and b. MUCH less hours! Maybe I'll even get my house back. :-)

I'm thinking I'll pick up the kids at 3 and have the afternoons with them. I think that could be kind of fun. Plus we need a jump on homework with tee ball season here. This *could* be a really good thing. :-)

Ok - we've had some major growing up in the house recently. You've read my post about S walking to school with a neighbor on Tue and Thurs - well, J is now in need of a "cup" for baseball. I find this both very amusing and very disturbing. J has a fascination with this area already and when his Dad explained the "cup" and that it needs to be "adjusted" sometimes I thought "My God, he'll never catch a ball - his hands will be down there ALL the time!" So this will be on our shopping list this weekend. Lovely ........

I'm hearing it will be in the 60s this weekend!!! OHHHHHH BOYYYYY - I see my truck getting cleaned out (again). :-)

S has been asked to announce the Say It, Play It show at school. We practice every night. She is SO funny. Her Dad asked her to say it again last night and she told him "I will on Tuesday." In other words "step off, Dad" :-) Her humor is killing me lately.

Rex is "on my list" today. Stupid cat had to be SO loud this morning - woke the girl up. :-/ I was NOT happy. S believes that if she's up - EVERYONE should be up and she will talk non-stop till you are. After you arise she then nags at you constantly to do one thing after another. It's like being pecked to death with beak less bird.

Speaking of wildlife, we had a "sick" ground squirrel around the house the other night. I'm not *real* sure that Rexie wasn't the cause of it. As B went out Rex came running in - and it was then that B found the ground squirrel. Anyway, he had to "fix it" with a shovel. J wanted to watch. Why does this SO disturb me. We talked excessively about that it was the only humane thing to do because there was obviously something wrong with it and that you should NEVER approach a wild animal like that - but to go get Dad. (Mom wants NOTHING to do with rodents - even dead ones).

How DARE she!!!!

Jenny McCarthy is the most obnoxious skank I've ever seen! Last night on Larry King she said "I watched my child die in front of me". That is WRONG on SOOOOOOO many levels.!!!!

First - my child is NOT dead! God DOES have a plan for her and she IS on a mission. (thanks to you who made that shirt, btw) Autism is NOT a death sentence! People ALL over have and ARE living with it. Look at all the WONDERFUL people in history who have had it and managed QUITE nicely!

Second - what about the people who really HAVE lost their child??? I bet ANY of them would give their eye teeth to have their children back and instead the kid have autism. My friend SN can't hold her J anymore - she can't laugh at his happiness --- *I* can!!!! How DARE her say THAT!!!!! Yes, I mourn a child I will never have - but it is not NEAR the same as actually putting one in the ground!!!! She is WAY over the line!!! How is it that after just 2 years of living with Autism - that SHE gets to speak for us????? Lets hear from some of those "Refrigerator Moms" - lets hear from those who went before us - who REALLY did the WORK!!! THEY didn't *let* their children die! They did what they could - they pushed the boundaries.

Marge D is a PERFECT example of this. In the day that her child came about we all called it "retarded" - but whatever the "label" HER child learned to cook, clean, hold a job. MARGE did this!!! She put limits on her child - made her do above and beyond - she TAUGHT her. She didn't hire a bunch of therapists and lawyers and try to change her daughter!

Or my friend Jeannie who found a BEAUTIFUL group home for her son. Who CELEBRATES that he crushes cans daily. Who is SO proud and so loving to him. Who goes to visit weekly and is more and more inspired every time.

I guess that's where I am now - Autism is SO much a part of S that I fear if it was gone - I would loose a lot of "her". The way she tells you things that are SO funny. The truly WONDERFUL way she looks at life! The way she always smiles! And God love it, her humor.

I do hope your son never hears what you've said Jenny McCarthy! He did not die! Accept him, love him and stop trying to change him! And STOP talking for the Autistic world - go back and sit on your toilet and show your boobs - you're better at that!!!

Mr G Long - If you're out there...

You, sir, are a HUGE Prick!!!!! Why the hell would anyone RIP into someone who it calling for tax information. I am ONLY the messenger - and then --- when you called back and found out that YOU had the wrong fax number - did you appologize???? NOOOOOOO - see this is exactly why rich people are HATED! Hated, Mr Long - I hope your money keeps you warm at night because YOU are HATED! If you treat me, a total stranger this way how must you treat your own family????? I STILL cannot believe that someone would do what you did for ONE piece of paper!!! You made a HUGE deal out of nothing!

I now see why it really is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter heaven. YOU, Mr Long are the PERFECT example!

I do hope you're happy "Big Man"!!!!!!!

She's growing up!

S walked with a couple of neighbors to school today. There's a tech club that starts at 7:30 a.m. and she got to go by herself. I just got word from the teacher that does the club that things went very well. I'm so proud I could just bust! S was so excited - grinning from ear to ear when the girls picked her up.

I watched Mozart and the Whale yesterday. What a good movie! So many characters reminded me of S.

I've got to get a menu together and plan a couple of cooking dates with S. I really think she's ready. I'm starting to see her future and it's looking bright. :-)