One More, Swise!!!!! Go Big Blue!

Central-Southeastern baseball coach Dave Swisegood meets with his players after winning Friday night’s game against Canton. Swisegood now has 892 career wins, moving him into a tie for the most all-time wins in Illinois High School Association history. (H-W Photo/Jennifer Coombes)

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By MATT SCHUCKMAN
Herald-Whig Sports Writer
AUGUSTA -- Most of the Central-Southeastern baseball players had a theory for what Suns coach Dave Swisegood might do with the game ball used to record the final out in Friday's 10-1 victory over Canton.
"He'll probably use it to hit infield tomorrow," catcher Garrett Janssen joked.
Don't bet on it.
Although he tucked it in his coat pocket for the time being, Swisegood had plans for the ball that commemorated his 892nd career victory, which tied him with Oak Park-River Forest coach Jack Kaiser for the most in Illinois High School Association history.
"I'm going to put it right on the mantle," said the 77-year-old Swisegood, who will attempt to break the record Monday when the Suns (6-4) travel to Lewistown. "And I'm going to look at it."
He expects it to elicit a flood of memories.
"The real memories I'll have are of the players who have given me that," said Swisegood, who has a career record of 892-480. "I mean that. I've been blessed with good players."
Like the ones who made the record-tying victory look so simple.
Sophomore left-hander Sean Grosnic did not allow an extra-base hit, struck out six, walked two and picked off one in his most high-profile and pressure-packed start of the season.
"I really wanted to pitch the record-tying or record-breaking game," Grosnic said. "But I'm so speechless about it. I'm just glad I won."
His composure was critical, especially when a throwing error by shortstop Regan Bruenger and back-to-back singles -- all with two outs -- led to Canton (5-1) taking a 1-0 lead in the top of the third.
"Last year, a couple bad things may have gotten to him a little bit," Janssen said. "I think that shows his maturity. He's grown up a little bit. He's pretty good. When he's on, he's tough."
Getting some help from his defense made Grosnic tougher.
Following the error in the third, Central-Southeastern buckled down to end two innings on force plays at second base and closed the game with a double play on a grounder up the middle that left Swisegood smiling.
"Swise is a competitor," Janssen said. "Anything it takes to win, he's all for it."
That's especially true of taking an extra base.
Down 1-0 in the third, Brent Kassing got C-SE's rally started with a one-out walk. Markus Vonholt doubled to right-center field -- the only extra-base hit in the game -- took third on a wild pitch and scored on a throwing error by Canton catcher Lucas Barton.
In the fifth, the Suns plated three more as two runs scored on wild pitches and Kassing stole home on the back end of a double steal.
"What I really appreciated the most was they got the first run and we came right back," Swisegood said. "Any coach loves that. We didn't fold up the tent."
No Swisegood-coached team ever will, which is why the all-time victory record is nearly his alone.
"I'd be lying if I said it didn't mean anything," Swisegood said. "I still think the thing I am the happiest about is my team having success. Those guys deserve this. I haven't had a hit all year. They are getting it done."
There's extra incentive for that.
There's history being made.
"It's unbelievable," Janssen said. "That doesn't even happen just once in a lifetime. As many years as he's been around is what's remarkable. He's just a legend."
That's why a legendary celebration awaits.
Other than an ovation from the small crowd gathered at the Southeastern High School field and an on-field cheer from his team, the postgame activities were fairly similar to Swisegood's first 891 victories.
"The next one is the one we're waiting for," Janssen said.
That's when Swisegood will stand alone.
-- mschuckman@whig.com/221-3366

Nearing the end..

Tax season is drawing to a close. Thank GOD! I'm really looking forward to a. one day off a week and b. MUCH less hours! Maybe I'll even get my house back. :-)

I'm thinking I'll pick up the kids at 3 and have the afternoons with them. I think that could be kind of fun. Plus we need a jump on homework with tee ball season here. This *could* be a really good thing. :-)

Ok - we've had some major growing up in the house recently. You've read my post about S walking to school with a neighbor on Tue and Thurs - well, J is now in need of a "cup" for baseball. I find this both very amusing and very disturbing. J has a fascination with this area already and when his Dad explained the "cup" and that it needs to be "adjusted" sometimes I thought "My God, he'll never catch a ball - his hands will be down there ALL the time!" So this will be on our shopping list this weekend. Lovely ........

I'm hearing it will be in the 60s this weekend!!! OHHHHHH BOYYYYY - I see my truck getting cleaned out (again). :-)

S has been asked to announce the Say It, Play It show at school. We practice every night. She is SO funny. Her Dad asked her to say it again last night and she told him "I will on Tuesday." In other words "step off, Dad" :-) Her humor is killing me lately.

Rex is "on my list" today. Stupid cat had to be SO loud this morning - woke the girl up. :-/ I was NOT happy. S believes that if she's up - EVERYONE should be up and she will talk non-stop till you are. After you arise she then nags at you constantly to do one thing after another. It's like being pecked to death with beak less bird.

Speaking of wildlife, we had a "sick" ground squirrel around the house the other night. I'm not *real* sure that Rexie wasn't the cause of it. As B went out Rex came running in - and it was then that B found the ground squirrel. Anyway, he had to "fix it" with a shovel. J wanted to watch. Why does this SO disturb me. We talked excessively about that it was the only humane thing to do because there was obviously something wrong with it and that you should NEVER approach a wild animal like that - but to go get Dad. (Mom wants NOTHING to do with rodents - even dead ones).

How DARE she!!!!

Jenny McCarthy is the most obnoxious skank I've ever seen! Last night on Larry King she said "I watched my child die in front of me". That is WRONG on SOOOOOOO many levels.!!!!

First - my child is NOT dead! God DOES have a plan for her and she IS on a mission. (thanks to you who made that shirt, btw) Autism is NOT a death sentence! People ALL over have and ARE living with it. Look at all the WONDERFUL people in history who have had it and managed QUITE nicely!

Second - what about the people who really HAVE lost their child??? I bet ANY of them would give their eye teeth to have their children back and instead the kid have autism. My friend SN can't hold her J anymore - she can't laugh at his happiness --- *I* can!!!! How DARE her say THAT!!!!! Yes, I mourn a child I will never have - but it is not NEAR the same as actually putting one in the ground!!!! She is WAY over the line!!! How is it that after just 2 years of living with Autism - that SHE gets to speak for us????? Lets hear from some of those "Refrigerator Moms" - lets hear from those who went before us - who REALLY did the WORK!!! THEY didn't *let* their children die! They did what they could - they pushed the boundaries.

Marge D is a PERFECT example of this. In the day that her child came about we all called it "retarded" - but whatever the "label" HER child learned to cook, clean, hold a job. MARGE did this!!! She put limits on her child - made her do above and beyond - she TAUGHT her. She didn't hire a bunch of therapists and lawyers and try to change her daughter!

Or my friend Jeannie who found a BEAUTIFUL group home for her son. Who CELEBRATES that he crushes cans daily. Who is SO proud and so loving to him. Who goes to visit weekly and is more and more inspired every time.

I guess that's where I am now - Autism is SO much a part of S that I fear if it was gone - I would loose a lot of "her". The way she tells you things that are SO funny. The truly WONDERFUL way she looks at life! The way she always smiles! And God love it, her humor.

I do hope your son never hears what you've said Jenny McCarthy! He did not die! Accept him, love him and stop trying to change him! And STOP talking for the Autistic world - go back and sit on your toilet and show your boobs - you're better at that!!!

Mr G Long - If you're out there...

You, sir, are a HUGE Prick!!!!! Why the hell would anyone RIP into someone who it calling for tax information. I am ONLY the messenger - and then --- when you called back and found out that YOU had the wrong fax number - did you appologize???? NOOOOOOO - see this is exactly why rich people are HATED! Hated, Mr Long - I hope your money keeps you warm at night because YOU are HATED! If you treat me, a total stranger this way how must you treat your own family????? I STILL cannot believe that someone would do what you did for ONE piece of paper!!! You made a HUGE deal out of nothing!

I now see why it really is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter heaven. YOU, Mr Long are the PERFECT example!

I do hope you're happy "Big Man"!!!!!!!

She's growing up!

S walked with a couple of neighbors to school today. There's a tech club that starts at 7:30 a.m. and she got to go by herself. I just got word from the teacher that does the club that things went very well. I'm so proud I could just bust! S was so excited - grinning from ear to ear when the girls picked her up.

I watched Mozart and the Whale yesterday. What a good movie! So many characters reminded me of S.

I've got to get a menu together and plan a couple of cooking dates with S. I really think she's ready. I'm starting to see her future and it's looking bright. :-)

My Sister..

My sister is unbelievable! We truckstered south this weekend to see her in the Windmill Follies "You can't get there from here". She was SO good. I can't get over how she can memorize all those lines and look so at ease on stage. We really had a good time. I'm so glad we went and get this - we surprised her. I thought for sure somehow she'd get wind of it - see our truck at Mom and Dad's, we'd slip up, even pop in at Mom and Dad's. It was too funny. You should have seen the look in her eyes. What a fun time.

S did very well - we sat from 6:30 - 9 and she only lost it just a tiny bit at the very end. In fact after the first scene she was quite concerned that "Arthur" one of the characters had been in an accident with a dog. I was so surprised she even knew the man's name was Arthur. She really "got" it.

J was "sick" today - he was up a lot last night burning hot and this morning was still kind of out of it. So he stayed home. I stayed home also and really caught the house up. He was content to lay on the couch, so I knew he was sick.

S took the play book to school and I guess talked their ears off about it. I also think she realized that Keith (from Dan's store) was in the play also.

During her week at Gpa and Gma's there was a bomb threat at Central - the kids were all bussed to the church and S and Gma had to go home early from quilting. She also visited Lola in the hospital and seemed quite concerned about Lola's "owie". Gma was on the radio in Carthage and Gpa and S both clapped for her when she was done. It's cute what S deems as important.

This weekend in TKD and Social Club. S is very excited about it. She's really doing well with conversation and with in general being more grown up. It's fascinating to watch her.

You all know this guy........... "The Hell"

6 to tie and 7 to Break
by B-Ball Fan on Tue Mar 11, 2008 1:12 pm

That is what Central/Southeastern's Baseball Coach Dave Swisegood's Baseball team needs to win this spring for him to become the All-time Winningest baseball Coach in IHSA history. You can't meet a more knowledgeable and better man in high school baseball than Dave Swisegood. Good luck Dave and your team, and may you coach many more than 7 more wins @ Augusta & Camp Point.




Coach Dave Swisegood
Swisegood, '98 vikings, Hall of Fame inductees

by Doug Endres

Southeastern coach Dave Swisegood is being inducted into the Illinois High School Baseball Coaches Association Hall of Fame.

The induction ceremony is Feb. 5, at Lisle.

Swisegood begins his 50th season as a high school baseball coach this spring. He has 845 career wins and 12 regional/district titles coaching at Plymouth and Southeastern high schools.

Swisegood ranks second on the state's all-time victories list. He began coaching in 1956 at Plymouth High School. He spent 25 years at the school, finishing with a record of 417-207. He spent the next 24 years at Southeastern where he has posted a record of 428-230. His career winning percentage is 65.9 percent.

"Coach Swisegood is a phenomenon, a legend to so many," said Southeastern principal Todd Fox. "He coached many of our student-athletes parents and grandparents. There will truly never be another Dave Swisegood."

Besides baseball, Swisegood is the assistant basketball coach at Southeastern.

He is a former minor league baseball player and former scout for the Cincinnati Reds.

Swisegood resides in Augusta with his wife, Francis.

The 1998 Nauvoo-Colusa Viking basketball team, which won the Class A state tournament, is one of six teams and 84 individuals being inducted into the Illinois Basketball Coaches Association Hall of Fame. The ceremony is April 30 at the Bone Student Center on the Illinois State campus in Normal.

Nauvoo-Colusa finished the '97-'98 season with a record of 31-3. They were the first unranked team to defeat three straight ranked teams and win the Class A state tournament in state history.

Members of the team were: Joe Wilson, Emmett Reidner, Doug Siegfried, David Hamma, David Griffiths, Brian Griffiths, Kenny Haas, Patrick Weaver, Paul Goetz, Marshal Stott, and Kellen Fernetti. They were coached by Reno Pinkston who was assisted by Frank Gayton.

It's been a week and a half already.

Only one kid this week and it's definitely EASIER but it just seems still so stressful. I got home last night and collapsed. Napped before dinner. What the heck? J fell asleep on his initial garbage picking expedition! Him and Dad are going again tonight.

Finally got my taxes done today. Now my problem is J's ssn. Seems someone else is using it. *Lovely*. So now begins THAT whole mess. I have also faxed my 1099 Int to Eileen with questions about the trust's tax return. Special Needs just sucks ALL the way around! Is there ever a time that you don't have to contact this person, or set up this insurance, or look this or that up???? Can I just say I'm looking forward to the Old Folks home - where they let you read and watch movies and bring you ice cream every night at 8:30. :-)

My Mom was on the radio this morning tooting the horn about The Follies. Do you think the DJ said ANYTHING about the adorable granddaughter she had with her??? NO!

Dan was happy to see her (Dan's store). She's already gathering things to take to J. I think J misses her - esp at night. He seems just a little forlorn. He started out sleeping in her room - but decided not to after the first night. I think it was because her recorder doesn't have a "repeat" button and quits in the middle of the night. Who knows with that boy.

Wouldn't you think by your 40s

.....you'd know how to SHUT your mouth? Well, seems I haven't exactly learned that lesson. So Easter was just a little more intense than was wanted.

I can be SO patient with my child, so unbelievably understanding - but then why do I totally LOOSE it with others? Why can't I take a breath and think reasonably? Oh, well, there's just another chink in the armor that must be worked on.

The kids had a BLAST. They SO love their "cousins". K,L,L, and M - they all get a long well, too. We have the usual "tattle tailing" but nothing severe.

Got together with T&R and had a FANTASTIC time. The girls rein supreme in Tribond - AGAIN! Thank you Barry Manilow!!! :-) It was SO good to laugh so much.

My sister, as usual, cooked up a storm. Not only does she really cook well - she makes it look SO effortless. I always feel guilty not doing much - but I feel like I'm in the way a lot. I just really SUCK at cooking.

It snowed on Easter Day and we got to hide eggs in the snow. We hid them in the basement too. They kids loved finding them. I'm not sure we could have erased the smile on S's face. It was plastered there all day.

We left her with Gma and Gpa for the week. J seems to be under the weather today. A fever and sore throat. We'll see what some sleep does for him today. He's supposed to go "picking" with Dad tonight. Sanford and Son has nothing on them. :-)

The drive home was SO peaceful. J did the headphones and B and I talked the whole way. It was nice for a change. I love S so much - but having a break is really nice too.

Back at work I return to a whole cabinet full of work - :-/ So I guess I should get at it.

Knocking out the ISAT

Well, *my* kid is knocking the ISAT test out of the park! Mrs C stopped me yesterday and showed me S's test so far. That stinker picks up the darnedest things. She was shown a newspaper clipping from Sat when they died the river green - she told them all about it. I remember *J* asking about it and as I recall S wasn't even in the room!!! She's really impressing them by what she has retained. And since she really doesn't play on the same scoring field as others she's never been made to feel anxious about tests - so she's just flying through stuff! I'm so proud of her!

Really really looking forward to the weekend. NOT looking forward to seeing Theresa. Nothing against her - it's just all the finance talk makes me sick to my stomach. We're trying to see if we can also get together with T&R also. He took back his crown in the lip syncing program. ;-/ Aunt J's stuff was SO funny, though. She sent pictures. She also told me that Ack was going to Girl Scout Camp and when I reported that to the kids J was upset because "she was a favorite". Ok, name one that's not I said - he didn't have an answer. S was concerned that Tiny might not be there - no, Tiny goes for visits but he's a keeper. ;-)

S is staying the week of Spring Break with Gma and Gpa - who she told me the other night - talks a lot. :-) I don't even remember how it came up - but she just said matter of fact like "Gpa talks a lot". ;-) I said "So does S." She smiled.

Mr Chad has to take care of Rexy. Sally reported to me that he (Mr Chad) was a nice man. :-) She's really coming on strong lately. LOTS of communication and not all over the place. She's holding her attention more and more.

We swim tonight. This will be J's last session. We got the tee ball schedule last night and it looks like Tues and Thurs will now be tball practice. S will stay in swimming, though. She loves it so much and I honestly don't mind an hour to sit and read. It would be nice if it was a little *cooler* though, but beggars can't be choosers.

We leave Friday morning for Gmas (for b-fast) and then on to Aunt J's. I've got a whole suitcase full of "stuff" for the kiddos. I sure hope the weather cooperates. S is looking forward to flying kites and petting Bob. Sadie will stay with Gpa for a well deserved rest from children and cat. Dad says she really misses us though when we leave. Goofy dog doesn't even know when she's got it good.

SO many things........

The boy broke his board and rec'd his orange belt. He had one little melt down but they were patient and he brought it back and finished. S did VERY well also. 4 hours of sitting and watching and SHE held it together. She was a little under the weather and was content, for the most part, to lay her head on my lap and let me rub her hand. ;-)

That weekend J also lost his tooth. His dad convinced him to let him pull it so he could eat cake at Ts birthday party. It was over in a second.

The birthday party was a HUGE hit. They were there from 2-7. J stayed till 8:30! S was VERY good - and they both had a ball giving their presents that they had picked out.

Our trip to the ballet had to be cancelled. Mrs P got our tickets and SO enjoyed the outing . So that all worked out perfectly.

Work is getting a little too much. Since I've had to cover a lot of hours I'm really feeling burnt out. My patience is at an all time low. I'm really looking forward to going to Aunt J's.

Speaking of - S had to do a "favorites" sheet. Her favorite place to go: Aunt J, her favorite day of the week; Monday (of course), her favorite friend: Taisha, her favorite TV show: COPS, her favorite food: chicken, and her favorite song: If You're Happy and You Know it." I got such a kick out of this assignment. She takes her ISATs today. From my IDM meeting I'm finding out more and more that there is no such thing as "normal" students.

IDM meeting - I'm always more and more amazed at what actually transpires at school. Learning the ins and outs have made me even more appreciative (if possible) of public school teachers. I can't say enough how very much I am pleased with my school.

So I took a day off yesterday and in the midst of the naps and laundry - I decided I'd like to win at least $100,000 tax free money. I made a mental list of all I would do with that money. And you all thought I was just playing hooky. ;-)

No More Yayakeeper

I'm really getting the business about switching screen names. But one thing - no spam. I'm LOVING that!

Too much going on lately. Have to duck out of our ballet on Sunday - Tommy is having his birthday party on Sunday. You know THAT comes first.

Had swimming last night. 'The boy' is hysterical. Dang, he was in a good mood. He had taken his robot to school - him and Dad had made it- and they got to show case them in the library. Then he was so excited to be in S's class at swimming. She was too. Kept saying it over and over and over. :-)

She's got a really upbeat aide lately. Makes me tired to be around her. There should be a law against someone being *that* perky. B went picking last night. He finds the wildest stuff. He came how with some kind of school stuff that is going for like $350 a piece now!!! Too wild. Someone from Golden has been bidding on his Windmill checks. He was going to contact them and cut out the middle man. :-)

S and I had our regular weekly encounter with the public at large last night. What is it about a locker room that makes people STARE? I don't know - *I* don't see S that different - but I guess she is - the adults just stare and stare at us. Of course I'm usually laughing inside about how there is ALWAYS some woman screaming at her kids to hurry up and making a scene. Sometimes they get so crazed that S has to get in the middle of it - repeating their screams. Now THAT gets the stares! I have to wonder what those women think when they hear themselves in her voice. *I* find it comical.

Had a TON of stuff I had to fix yesterday because of my "buddy" Heather. Good Lord, I swear I don't know what she does. There was a return that I caught that hadn't been electronically filed - even though she logged it in. There was one that was rejected and low and behold she had put in the wrong SSN. I think bossman is getting a bit nervous. I told him to call B and between her and I we could probably work out something. I'd rather know the night before that I'll be staying the duration the next day than having someone call in. Which I'm still waiting for today. I've had a phone call from her around this time every day for a week now. Ugghhh.

*Some* People!

Good Lord - is it a full moon? Have all the CRAZIES come out or what??? I'm so tired of rude, insensitive people. So very tired. I sometimes feel like I'm really putting my children at a disadvantage because I'm teaching them to be considerate of others - to hold up your end of a bargain, to be responsible. Silly me. I find like Noah sent to find one honorable man. (wasn't it Noah - maybe Moses?) So my kids get screwed again. Forget seeing J make his robot or S getting ready for school tomorrow. I *get* to work again tonight. I've never seen a younger generation that is SO sick all the time. Personally, I blame it on all the anti-bacterial stuff. ;-)

J went to his very first sleep over last night. Down the street (T&V's). He called a couple of times - laughing his head off - trying to tell "spooky stories", but really not getting anything out. The second time he needed his blankies. He's so funny - doesn't really care what others think about sleeping with a blankie. I'm *kind* of proud of that.

S was ok till this morning. While we sat and read books this morning I was questioned several times about where J was and when she (S) would be able to go to a sleep over. I told her that maybe she could go to Aunt L's for a sleepover. I'll have to run that past L. ;-)

She did VERY well over the weekend. We were invited to a birthday party (last minute) and even though this is VERY tricky for her she did well. She was a little anxious when we got there because she really didn't know what to do - not a lot of welcome - iykwim. But she held it together and managed to even have a good time. She did come and get me and tell me it was time to go home. She's so funny. She really does know her own tollerence.

NOT happy!!

What is it with the *younger* generation? Ok - I know I'm sounding like Gpa now - but dang! Could you all just SHOW up to work? Is that REALLY too much to ask? And why is it that children half my age are ALWAYS sick??? IF that's really true? I mean, give us all a break - the sick thing is getting old. Even if you are sick - at this age you can usually fight it off without a lot of problem. I mean if you can handle a hangover and still party the next night - for God's sake show up to work. Have you no shame? Ok - I'm done ranting. :-) I feel SOOOOO old.

So here I sit. The thing that kind of ticks me off is that you would think I have no life - which in a way I don't ---- BUT there are 2 little people counting on me tonight to help with homework, make dinner, find Yao Ming's picture (we just read a book about him), watch "Naughty Kids" with. It's those 2 that get cheated. Ah, well, par for the course I guess. I hear on the radio that if you actually show up to work for 5 days straight at Burger King you get to be manager. Scary huh?

I think I may have found an answer to S's want of a beach this summer. Seems my nephew can get us over to the Marina and there is a beach there. YAY, Meme. Always good to have family in blue collar jobs! :-) So I'm going to ask my Oct buddies if they can pack up some seashells from the coasts and send them to me. I think Sharon would love this mission. :-) My little Republican candidate. ;-) So maybe it will be a family thing with us and Meme's. There's one checkmark off my list for the summer. S has a whole list of stuff she wants to do. Camping is on there too - but that's another thing we'll probably do back home too. At least at first - see how she really does and then we'll know if we can trek out or not.

Wow, it's been a doozie here lately. We've been trying to go out since Valentine's and between just not having the time and not having a babysitter it just hasn't happened. Of course the weather hasn't helped either. More snow yesterday. B is on jury duty so he's been excused from snow call out. I have to admit that's nice.

S is going though this phase where she calls me Mom and my last name. It's starting to grate on my nerves a little. J is starting to really get intolerant of S's "quirks" - esp the echoic. I can understand that. I'm going to start the book I got this weekend. Figure we'll do the whole family tree thing and what we're good at on Friday night and then while S is gone to Social Club I can do the Autism stuff with J. I'm hoping he responds well. I want him to know - but I don't. He pushes her so well without knowing it but then again I wouldn't mind him knowing why I don't help *him* as much. I've always tried to do for him what I do for her --- IF he asks - but it's a strain.

He's been out of sorts lately too. Maybe he is getting it that his family is so very different. I don't know - I'm just hoping to explain to him that all of his feelings are OK - even when he's feeling that life isn't fair. But that he also needs to see the beauty in S too. Lord, give me the strength and wisdom.

So on a lighter note. Market Day yesterday. Pretty much dropped the ball and we still pulled in over a hundred dollars. I forget how crazy tax season gets and that I have to really plan ahead even more than normal. Can I just say that I SO identify with Kate. ;-) Mr F met me at the door and was all gung ho to unload the truck. I explained that we couldn't do anything till the rep got there. But again he came in and told the driver he was ready to help him. The driver told him the same thing I had said. But as I'm lugging out the lunch tables and setting them up - he disappears! :-) We gave him the business about that. He's really a good guy.

Need to write to Rachel and ask about HB Island. I'm kind of hoping that our two families can do that this summer. Also need to ask her about their plans for the fair. I enjoy going to the fair with Todd because it's just like going to a Village function with B. I never have to worry about parking (the cow barn) or about where we're sitting or anything like that. The only thing is the kids get ansy if (when) we stop to talk to someone. (which is about every 2 feet) Rachel and I had a blast talking on the way there last year. But I think the best part was watching Todd "tap" in the wood from his trailer. That and sitting in the stands and SEEING the trailer. Need to do some planning so we can do all the things we want to.

Can't believe Feb is almost over. Still haven't done our taxes. Well, I've done the input - but still have to ask some things about Special Needs Trust and also J's SSN that seems to be already used again. :-/ NOT looking forward to straightening THAT out. I should prob make sure it's copied right from the actual card.

SO many things to do - not to mention all the appointments that need to be made. One nice thing - the dentist is coming to the school and even though it's not going to make up for our reg check up - at least they will have their teeth cleaned and that way I can wait till summer for check ups. J esp needs to have some xrays done and make sure all of those teeth are where they're supposed to be.

When will we EVER *get* it???????????

The following letter was written to "Big Brother" (the TV 'reality' show) on behalf of the Autism community. Peronally *I* find offense at the letter. Ummmm People, WORDS DON'T HURT!!!! And if that is the WORST thing that you've been called (and no one was really ever "called" this) well, then - consider yourself blessed.

Do I care for the word? NO. But it's a WORD. Not a sword. People who "get it" are going to understand - no matter what the word da jur' is. And people who are ignorant will prob remain that way. We want so much tollerence for our chilren - well, to get you MUST give. Having someone fired and the show taken off the air (not that we ALL wouldn't benifit from some "de-programing of a LOT of things on TV) will NOT make your child better. It will NOT find funding for research, it will NOT teach others about it.

Lord, will we EVER get over ourselves??????



Laurie writes:
I hope this is ok with everyone, I did this on the fly this morning because I'm on the run today. Someone had sent me this A-Champ online letter writing link and so I sent one in on behalf of ACC. I figured we would pretty much all agree that having someone on national television refer to a person with ASD as a 'retard' was unacceptable. Here's the form letter, I didn't take the time to customize it, this was what the A-Champ folks put together and it went to several CBS execs and producers of the show:Laurie Jerue3104 Treesdale CourtNaperville, IL 60564-4609February 19, 2008Sumner RedstoneRe: Demand an apology from CBSDear Mr. Redstone:We are writing to express our dismay and disgust at comments that were made by Adam Jasinski during the broadcast of "Big Brother" program. In episode 2, Jasinsiki describes his plans to open a hair styling business catering to people with autism who he refers to as "retards."Just as we are confident that CBS would not tolerate the use derogatory epithets regarding race, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation we hope that the use of derogatory terms for people with disabilities in also unacceptable in your programming.We believe Jasinski's should be terminated immediately, and we believe that the show should be cancelled. Further, we expect an apology to people with autism, developmental disabilities and their families from Jasinski, Big Brother, CBS and National Amusements. While Jasinski's displayed gross ignorance, the producers of the show chose to use his comments to forward the show's storyline. This displays a conscious choice on their part to demean and hurt a large group of people to further their own commercial goals.While a large number of people with autism do have mental retardation, a very large portion do not and they are perfectly capable of understanding that they have been denigrated in an extremely demeaning way by a program broadcast for profit by CBS.Family members of people with autism, especially parents, are constantly challenged by the great deal of misinformation surrounding autism. Broadcasts such as Big Brother makes caring for a family member with autism all that more difficult.It is appropriate I believe to note that the Holocaust began with the extermination of developmentally disabled children in a secret program called Aktion T-4. The techniques, organization and personnel for Aktion T-4 went directly to run the extermination camps at Treblinka, Sobibor and others. All extermination campaigns begin with the de-humanization of the target group. And referring to developmental disabled people and people with autism as "retards" indeed fails to recognize the humanity of people with these disorders.Sincerely,Laurie Jerue, President, Autism Community Connection, a 600+ member parent support group in Naperville Illinois__._,_.___

She has the ESP n

Ok there has been some more spooky things going on with our gal S:

1. A couple of weeks ago as I was getting dressed I was feeling very uneasy about the outfit I had chose for the day. But you know how it goes in the morning - there's really no time to dress and re-dress so I put it on and decided "good enough". S was NOT around me when this happened. In fact she was in her own room playing People. When I went in to get her dressed she looked up and said "That looks good, Mom - you look pretty today." She NEVER talks like that. *Maybe* after *I* compliment her she may throw me a bone - but NEVER on her own.

2. Pasta Bingo night last Friday. I came in late (due to work) she met me and told me "I'm going to win Bingo and get Moon Sand". Sure enough - it wasn't 5 minutes later that she called Bingo and promptly walked up to the prize table and got her Moon Sand.

3. Saturday morning I had to work. B and I had worked it out that him and S would drop off J at TKD and then prob go to Mickey D's. I had *kind of* told S that she and Dad would be going to get something to eat. NOT known to me - B had been THINKING in the shower that he and S would maybe go to Wally World because he needed new pants. Again - not even telling me, they dropped of J and as they were heading down the road he aked her "S, would you like to go to McDonalds or Wal-Mart?"
Her reply was "Wal-Mart, Daddy because you need new pants." !!!!!!!! *I* do the man's laundry and *I* didn't think he needed new pants!!!!

She just makes my day sometimes!!!!

Have you hugged a Huskie today?

School shooting at NIU yesterday. Can I just say how much my heart hurts for all of these kids. It's SO sad to know that all of these kids have had to grow up (not to mention the little ones following) with this kind of "knowledge" that this "could" happen. It's just SO SO sad. There's just TOO much CRAZINESS in this world!!!!

My heart and thoughts go out to everyone effected directly and all of us effected indirectly. Hopefully VTech and NIU and ALL of us can join together and heal ourselves so this may never happen again!!!

Look Out World...

....... I've been thinking. On the "drive" into work today I started thinking about how MUCH paper we get from school. This in turn started my thoughts of how as we advace technically and go to a more computerized world we use MORE paper. Like, remember how we didn't use paper wastefully at school when I was little - and then go back to my Grandma when they used slate??? The slate thing got me to think about how difficult it would be to get first graders to copy problems down on paper let alone slate and then I started to think about how much LESS we are progressing in that area then - say - the "slate days". THIS then started my mind to go to Autism in the "slate days". I then looked at the facts that Autism is more a social problem. S and others do have learning problems too - along with physical (motor skills and such) but we mainly focus on social. In the slate days we weren't THAT social. Think about it - you walked to school - where you LEARNED - you had recess - but other than that - not a lot of socialness, your parents didn't see other parents till Sundays or maybe if they went to town to sell something - but there just wasn't the "networking" that we have today. So Autism was almost a way of life in some ways.

I think of Little House on the Prarie and remember that episode where there was that Buzbee character who was "slow" but he was taught life skills - farming, fixing - stuff like that. See, S would be FINE in "those" days. Maybe she'd be determined "slow" but she would "make" it.

Ok - now think about this. In "those" days I wouldn't be SO afraid of dying - because even though they lived VERY far apart from each other and didn't see or correspond with each other daily they did "see" to each other in times of trouble. They "helped each other out". Now, we are at each other's doorstep in an instant - what with phone, email, airplane, car and yet we're farther apart then we used to be. Think about that for a moment.......

So what sums this up? Oh, heck. I don't know. Just my crazy train going around in my mind with the conductor downing a 5th of gin. :-)

What is it with Teachers??

They do nothing but think of homework. :-) I got homework at my last PBIS meeting! I mean a whole 3 ring binder of stuff to read and then report your opinion. I thought I was too old for homework! S and J LOVE this idea and found it extremely funny that Mommy had to sit down and read last night along with them, instead of to them. :-)

Last night we had to count out and bag 100 things to add to a class snack mix. J chose Goldfish. I should have bought stock in those things in the early days of S. Who knew that 10 years later we'd still have them as a staple.

B was out at midnight last night. J came in my room sometime around 3 a.m. and I just let him stay. S joined us around 5. Saide and Rex have a vested interest in this too - more room for them - until the kids show up.

All kinds of new things at work today. New cordless mouse, air cond/fan (port). LOVE the mouse. Took me a couple of times to get used to how FAST it is. Thinking seriously of getting one (or 2) for home.

Had a long talk with the boy last night at swimming. Kind of got him talked into taking lessons again if he can start back another class. I should have seen that coming. He just isn't all that into the laps that have to be done - and like his mother - his "crawl" could really use some work. He didn't seem to have any problems with him maybe being the biggest kid in the class and *I* surely don't. I really wish I would have been held back a couple of times. I think freestyle would have come MUCH easier. I think - once again- we (as a society) can't handle holding someone back and so if they even have the faintest clue - they go to the next level. I really think it wouldn't be a bad idea if there was a manditory two years at every level. I think the confidence and skills would soar. But what do I know. ;-)

I've signed S up for a cooking project thing (it's tech name) that comes to the house every month. I thought it would kind of force my hand. Dang - why does having children MAKE you do the stuff you really HATE doing. I just cringed when she announced that she'd love to help me cook. Ugghhh - why, why?????? That's like saying - "Mom, I'd love to own a mouse". Ok - maybe not THAT bad - but it's a close second. The next thing you know, they'll decide they hate to read - and that will tear my heart out.

The Perfect Book by Steve Seskin & Allen Shamblin

Don't Laugh at Me

I'm a little boy with glasses,
the one they call a geek.

A little girl who never smiles
'cause I've got braces on my teeth.
And *I* know how it feels to cry myself to sleep.

I'm the kid on every playground
who's always chosen last.

I'm the one who's slower
than the other's in my class.
You don't hae to be my friend,
but is it too much to ask?

Don't Laugh At Me

I'm the beggar on the corner.
You've passed me on the street.
I wouldn't be out here beggin'
if I had enough to eat.
Don't think I don't notice
that our eyes never meet.

I was born a little different.
I do my dreaming from a chair.
I pretend it doesn't hurt me
when people point and stare.
There's a simple way to show me
just how much you care.

Don't laugh at me.
Don't call me names.
Don't get your pleasure from my pain.
In God's eyes we're all the same.

Some day we'll ALL
have perfect wings.

Don't Laugh At Me!

I'm fat
I'm thin,
I'm short
I'm tall
I'm deaf
I'm blind.

Hey, aren't we all???

Ok - I love em' and all... BUT....

If I'm home with them alone once more this week - well, *someone's* NOT going to be happy! Ughhh-- it's snowing again and B's out till midnight. I HATE that. I was home with *them* yesterday and then all night alone - AND swimming. I'm running on empty lately. I *finally* get caught up with household things - not to mention a "new and improved" chore list - and here we go again. Not to mention things at work.

Tax season help is NEVER from here - so bad roads mean - late help or no help at all. It's beginning to be that "crazy" time of year. Gotta love February.

J's report card was VERY good. In fact - a little spooky. They were all taken to the library and they had to read (not to his teacher ) for one minute. The correct words were then counted and they sent home a graph of where J landed in accordance with all the 1st graders ---- he's OFF the charts. The average was 20 something --- he's in the 70s!!!! I just never guessed he'd be THAT far up. Granted it was only the 2nd quarter so the other's will prob get closer by spring - but still..... He DID get one "below standards" and guess what in......... writing. Not surprising at all - because it's about *sloooooowwwwiiinnnnnggggg doooooowwwwwnnnnnn*. :-) But in other things he came up - like the important stuff - grades I feel can always be "learned". I focus on the number parts: "Pays attention in class, follows directions". Stuff like that. He was all proud that he got a 4 (the highest) in "Participates in class discussions". I tried to explain that *that* catagory really didn't count - since it was already hot wired into his DNA. :-) He's been a trip lately. All this "you hate me" crap and "my homework is too hard" "I don't like to write".... blah, blah, blah - just call him GW Bush Jr.

S on the other hand, is doing well. Thank God, they don't act up together. I think they hold meetings about whose turn it is. And lately Sade seems to be in on the meetings. I swear - I'm up and going all night and the minute I sit down (after getting them to bed and all) and have one minute to myself- she barks with this "tone" to be let out. Ugghhh. So as I was saying - S is doing well. BUT if we have anymore snow days that may change. She is NOT a fan of days off. The first time it happened I had not even prepared her for it with a "there may be no school tomorrow" so she was ticked. I had her call my Mom to kind of take the focus off that: "Grandma," she immeadately whined when the phone was picked up, "there's no school. I no go school!" In that "drama" voice of hers almost like she was "telling on me". It was comical.

Can't believe it's February already. Signed them up for swimming again - well, not J. He decided he didn't want to. I intend for "natural consequences" to make a mark on this one. He went last night and had to do his homework while they all swam. I think on Thurs he'll have to go and just watch. Hopefully between the heat and the boredom he'll see the error in his ways. :-) But you know him - if I pressure him - he'll NEVER go beyond his level. Dang he's exhausting.

I LOVE my truck!

We have received about 8 inches of snow this week - really in the last day. But never fear - my truck handles it SO well!!!! I just love that beast in the Winter. Almost makes up for the "not playing well with other vehicles". :-)

S is gone to Social Club today. I'm SO excited to see what she thinks. It's all special needs kids. They went into the city to see High School Musical on Ice. I will be very interested to hear what she thinks.

RIP VERMIN!

We have solved the rodent problem in the house. 2 little nasty, disgusting, rotten mouses dead - cat informed us of the one and B roasted the other. :-) B has closed up every little single hole in the house. So now we'll all die of Legionare's desease - but there will be no rodents. :-)

S checks the traps every day and comes in and tells me "no mouses, Mom". She is so funny. We had the big colaboration meeting last week. It was ok. Honestly it went really well until Mr W started with a "tone" and I had to politely let him know THAT wasn't going to fly. Once he shut up - we all got down to work and realized that we were on the same page - we just had a little miscommunication lately. So we're good again. Change is hard on Mom too. :-)

VERMIN!!!!!!

To my absolute HORROR - I discovered this morning that we have ...... VERMIN! ICK!!!! When I told S about it her advice was "call the police." Girl after my own heart. The only way to stop a mouse = a gun! :-) Rexie has been sitting in there (the kitchen) at night and staring at the stove or the fridge and now I know why!!!! Now my question to everyone has been "can a cat that has no front claws still catch a mouse?" My vet tech niece says yes. My Oct list says - no - or she would have already. The list advises that yes, it's possible but kitty must be really "into" it because it is more difficult. Well, we know how "energetic" kittty is. Haha. So I'm guessing we'll have to depend on poison. God, I HATE mice!!!! Told hubby that I was NOT cooking till the thing was GONE! (I'll do anything to get out of cooking) :-)

HE's HERE!!!!!!!

Staley Da Bear has entered Bolingbrook!!! To my kids he's a very close 2nd to Santa!!! When I dropped them off this morning - "Staley's Car is here" was being screamed from teh back seat. Staley travels in a van with his picture and Bears signia all over it.

J was dressed to the 9s with sweat suit and shirt. S had her shirt on and wanted to wear her stocking cap and scarf all day - I talked her down from that one. God, it's crazy.

I, on the other hand, am down. I'm not sure it's a sickness or what. I slept from 9-3 yesterday and had NO problem sleeping through the night also. I started to read "10 Things Children with Autism Want You To Know" at swimming lessons last night and got so upset about what the author was saying that I darned near threw it in the pool. I'm SO very different than so many of the special needs parents that I meat.

On this line - what is it about this world and NOT wanting to categorize but TEACHING it???? Think about it - what do we first start teaching kids - colors, sorting shapes - all of this is categorizing. Putting things in a pile and assigning that pile a name - then when they get that mastered we tell them they shouldn't categorize and God forbid assign a name to ANYTHING!!!! Autistic, "has" autism - what's the big difference??? Personally I really dislike "has" autism because the fact is Autism "has" her!!! But seriously - what the heck does it matter? It used to be lumped into "retarded" and that wasn't right so we came up with Autism and now that's not right. Just what is it that we want???? I can really see how people get very frustrated with Special Needs parents.

I think this might be part of my down mood lately. I'm tired of the WHOLE thing - all of those "parents". And I've kind of lost the fire in my belly that usually dismisses and gives them a pass.

Some Solutions....

Sometimes things seem to be on a collision course of busy. Wanting to do too much and really giving nothing the full attention it deserves and then God steps in. :-)
I've found a home course for my Yuen interest and that allows time for my sister AND lets me kind of "try it out" before making the huge 2 day commitment. I *love* it when stuff like this comes together and really kind of "points" you in the right direction. Now if that would happen with my problems with S and school.

Aunt J got kicked by a horse and S was quite upset that one of them would have done that. She wanted to know exactly who did it and how were they to be punished. She is so funny.

Hmmm- Never noticed before

"People see me,
I'm a challenge
to your balance.
I've over your heads
how I confound you and astound you
to know I must be one of the wonders
of God's own creation
and as far as you see you can offer me
no explanation.

I believe Fate smiled and Destiny laughed
as she came to my cradle
'know this child will be able'
laughed as she came to my mother
'know this child will not suffer'
laughed as my body she lifted
'know this child will be gifted
with love, with patience, and with faith
she'll make her way,
she'll maker her way'. "

-Natalie Merchant "Wonder"

Is this not my S or what??? I've loved this song from the day it was released but never really thought about the lyrics. Today it hit me like a ton of bricks.

It's Starting

Getting into tax season. Seeing little signs of "crazy". :-) Hired a part time person for evenings and it wasn't someone with my name. :-) Why is it no one has your name until it doesn't come in handy.

We're on tooth watch. The boy has another one coming loose. I swear he's going to be a toothless wonder forever. The one that was knocked out from Preschool - still hasn't broke through. I'm getting just a little worried. Dad made a Dr appt for him - the headaches are getting worse. And figure Dr can look at his leg. Since he pulled his groin at camp he's been favoring it just a little. THAT was a trip. Think he can trip over air now - you should see him on crutches (or cruNches) as he says.

I ran into Gabby last night and BOY did I get a lot of questions answered. I'm SO happy to hear others are having the same problems I am - well, you know - not happy that we have problems but happy that I'm NOT loosing my mind. You start to wonder after a while. That damn NCLB crap is making teachers and school have aides that should be with special needs kids help out in class to get the class up to where the Govmt thinks they should be. Can I just SCREAM now?? Well, we don't have that exact problem with S but we do have a problem where she's ASKED to do her work!!!! WHAT ? I'm glad to know I'm not the only parent who is up in arms about this. There's talk about a Special Needs PTO for the district and having one Spec Needs parent on every PTO (which we already have). But I still think it's a GREAT idea.

So I didn't really get to see the urchins swim last night. J's teacher called me over to talk about J going down one level - I kind of thought that's where he should be anyway. I forget what "color" they are from year to year. I want him to have the basics down solid. And S - well she did fine - cheap therapy really.

Talked to L this morning - seems her and E were the only people at visitaion last night! I still can't believe that - just when you had the market cornered on goofy people. :-) Also found out that my hubby does have a heart. :-) He said some really nice stuff about me to her on Monday. Who knew he had it in him. :-) Looking forward to Saturday and our "family night" with the S's. We always have such a good time - and this time we have so much to talk about. :-)

S and I are both looking ahead to Easter - would like to ride again. When we were home at T-giving Storm wasn't feeling too good. M said she's better lately - putting on some weight. Plus there will be kite flying and hay rack ride. :-)

Oh the Things they Say!

The kids got gift cards in the mail yesterday and of course were anxious to spend them. When we went out to Wally World we discovered they had closed. Some long faces - but they managed to suck it up. We went to the grocery store where we purchased some LONG over due booze and some munchies for the NY's evening. As we were coming out almost to the car, J says "I'm not good.........I have something in my pants." My heart in my mouth - I cautiously ask "what do you have in your pants" (thinking the WORST) His reply?......"Snow'. Both B and I breathed a sigh of relief. He doesn't even have a clue about how many mini strokes he causes.

The girl is hysterical in her own right. At the store B suggested to her that she put her item on the bottom "that be a good idea, Daddy". She just so calmly disarms you and makes you wonder just *who* has the *problem*. She told me today that she has two nicknames "Daddy's pretty girl" was one. Which really shocked me. She's not normally moved or even cared about the whole pretty thing. I think she may be coming "out" more and more.

Webkinz not just for Kids

Ok - I'm just slightly addicted. DR and LJ gave the kids both a webkin and I set it up for them. Well, J's got sick and I've been in and out trying to get the thing to the Dr. It wouldn't load or something - so today at work I *finally* got it in there and got him all better! :-) I wish we would have had this kind of stuff when I was a kid. It's a lot of fun. J loves to buy stuff. S just likes to see what's going on. She likes Nick jr and stuff better.

Christmas Sucks

"She hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season. Now please don't ask why - no one quite knows the reason. It could be perhaps that her tree wasn't up, or that she was the only one to make the sup. Maybe because she miss her sister or was it because her heel had big blister. But whatever the reason the weather or mess she sat there on Christmas Eve hating the fest."

I have just really sucked the fun right out of Christmas this year! I was SO NOT prepared, I was SO NOT thinking ahead. I really DO forget how HARD it is to go places with S. J&L's was SO hard for her. We had many talks while we were there and she just doesn't get it. It makes things SO much harder. I think I almost "forget" that she is who she is. Ok - yeah we have the daily battles but for the most part - she's learned my routine - I've learned hers but when you go some place different it just comes CRASHING down on you - GLARING you in the face - I AM AUTISM and I have a HOLD on your little girl and sure, you've managed to cope with me almost beat me in YOUR setting - but I WILL be heard when on a different turf.

I have to get out more. I have to separate a little. I really think I'm burnt out and then there's MY whole thing about the holidays - my own little form of autism.

Aunt J's not coming up - S took it better than I thought she would. I did manage to get them in an additional day of camp and I've decided to take a whole day for me. Tax season starts soon and things will be WAY crazy so that may just be what the Dr ordered. Speaking of - we see Dr J on Friday and talk about some meds. I don't know what to wish for.

Then *I* need to find a Dr for me. Need an eye appt, and the annual mammogram. Bleck. SO much fun, fun, fun. :-)

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS

The Choir Boy Sings

After GLUING hand made Cop outfit to his Jammies

Autistic Eyes

If I had a chance to see through her eyes
I wonder what I would see
A world in color mixed and mashed
Tie dyed and changed
An array of colors ever shade
Finer tuned and focused than the rest
Some find it alien
I find it beautiful
A world only she can see
Hidden behind her shaggy hair and blue moon eyes
That sparkles in the light like midnight stars
Shining far away in some place man hasn't
Discovered

Claire Smith

"What I Want You to Know About Me and My Autism

- I am inside.

- The words are there, the voice is not.

- Being autistic is a battle that stays.

- Your world hurts me.

- Sounds pay me visits after I leave them.

- I need autism to breathe.

- Autism is awful, but I am not awful.

- I act dumb but am smart. Please be my friend.

- We can't be friends when you hate autism.

- Be an explorer who finds treasure beyond the strangeness.
"Are Your Eyes Listening?" Sarah Stup

BOIL BLOOD BOIL

Reading my Autism "support" email today - O M G!!!!!! Complaints about yesterday's special needs party!!!! Their kids didn't get EXACTLY what they wanted AND they had to WAIT!!!! GASP!!! Poor little Precious had to WAIT! Are you kidding me????? Lord, give me the strength not to bash the heads in of parents who are more HANDICAPPED than their children ever will be!!!

I wonder just what it is that THEY volunteer for. I know for a fact they all live on the west side - so this means they HAVE money. It's not like this is the ONLY present little precious will receive!!! And as for waiting well - isn't your job to ENABLE your child to live in the REAL world - and GUESS WHAT???? That's right - special needs or not they're going to HAVE to wait sometimes!!!

Parents are SO ignorant sometimes!!!!!

Santa should send them some coal - if they put it up their butts --- well, they'd get diamonds! :-)

And my heart grew 3 sizes today!

JBSRA Christmas Party!!!!!! 'Nough said! Can I just say - those "pirates" know how to do it up right!!!!! Chicken soup = Goooooddd, Sandwich = Gooooodddd, cake and ice-cream = Gooooodddd! The company = out of this world!!!! Santa arrived by fire truck again. The kids are unbelievable! SO excited SO appreciative! They're all happy to be there. Really puts your life into perspective when that fire engine rolls around the parking lot and grown adults jump and shout! Always makes me bawl. Talked to Shanon today - she's looking forward to S being in Social Club. I'm really glad we put her in.

Ok, after this extravaganza we came home, put on the Christmas music and made candy! Can I just say serious baking has NOTHING on us!!!! We are GOOD candy makers - I mean it. J stayed and helped the whole time - over an hour. S did EVERYTHING except oven work. I was shocked!!!! And our trials only resulted in one failure - the mint trials = EXCELLENT!!!! We could work for Keebler, we're so good!

Then on to watch COPs and Goosebumps. Too funny! We've decided tomorrow we write Santa and send out Christmas cards. We have decided that it'd be best to clean up a little before that. ;-)

They've earned more than 40 chips this week so they get to pick from the prize bucket too. And who knows maybe we'll start the candy factory again. :-)

All Smiles at Meadowbrook

J's choir went to Meadowbrk Manner today and sang for the elders. They were SO good! They all smile and really get into it. Mr D is SO good with the kids. The old folks really got a kick out of them. I, of course, got all puddled up. I don't know why - but I can't watch them without bawling. :-)

We still don't have a tree up. I just now ordered some stuff for the kids online. We're talking about what to give who and B's idea for Aunt J was a 19 inch TV with a loooonnnnggggggg cable line. :-) I guess that way he won't see "Shadows". :o)

Christmas is SUCH a hard time for me. I just really dislike Christmas. I could SO easily go Pagan here.

Winterfest at school last night. That was a good time. We invested in the Book Fair again. :-) Can't say no when it comes to books. :-)

Work is getting crazy. Bossman is getting all tax season crazy on me. :-) I no longer need glasses. He invested in a new computer and the screen is about 27 inches! Seriously - I had to back up the other day when I went into IDOR. Crazy, man, crazy. :-)

I have THE coolest School!!!!

Went to my first JS Improvement/PBIS meeting. WOW!!! The ideas these people have are FANTASTIC!!! I was SO impressed. I mean - I always thought my school was the best but now I'm POSITIVE!!! All those a holes who criticize this district should sit in on a couple of these meetings!!! We have TWO sets of Mom/Daughter teachers. I didn't realize that. J's teacher is a daughter of a 2nd grade teacher we have and one of the Ana Room Teachers is a daughter to a 2nd grade teacher who has been at JS for 30 years!!!!!!! Not to mention there are over 4 teachers who have children in this school. I think that speaks VOLUMES.

We've only had 43 referrals since school began and since our population encompasses some of the apartment buildings - I think that's VERY good. I'm so very impressed with what they do with discipline and positive rewards. I can't WAIT till the next meeting. I just can't get over the wonderful ideas everyone came up with and all the work that they VOLUNTEER to do!!!! Reaffirms in me that I could NEVER be a teacher - they work WAY too hard!!!! :-)

On a different note. The boy was "sick" today. (see the link). This was him for about 20 minutes then all of a sudden he was all better. I told him he was VERY lucky that I had the day off already because if I would have called off work and then he was ok - I would HAVE to go nam on him. <- direct quote from Aunt L. :-)
Ugghhh - THAT one is a head case!!!!

S had a good day today. She's all about getting those Little People that she's been promised. She seemed really with it today and you should see her do the computer games downstairs!!! She can get herself on now too. I'm really impressed with her.

Don't call him Yellow

Unless of course, you're talking about his belt. J passed his yellow belt test in TKD. He really did well and the real kicker - he had to sit silently with other kids for over 2.5 hours!!! We are SO proud of him.

S stayed with Aunt L. I felt bad because I honestly didn't think it would be that long. And it was FREEZING!!! B and I decided next time to bring some wood and make a fire - also some weenies and marshmellows. :-)

I volunteered to be on the Improvement Com for JS. We have our first meeting tomorrow - I'm anxious to see what it's all about.

B put up some of the Christmas stuff outside today. J was outside most all day!!! S is coming down with a cold I think. Her whiney voice is starting to get hoarse.

Team meeting this Thurs. THAT ought to be interesting. I WANT MS G BACK!!!!

Christmas, Smishmas

Ugghhh - can I just say how much I dislike Christmas. There's just WAY too much to do normally let alone add on the whole decorations, cooking, card writing - it's just too overwhelming.

The kids are having a great time with the Advent calendar. Of course the excitement makes them wake at 6:30 - so say goodbye to any quiet alone time in the morning.

I've helped with Book Fair the last two days and I've loved it. I should be a librarian. Well, maybe just for kids' books. :-) The new thing seems to be the Wimpy Kid Diary or Diary of a Wimpy Kid - something like that and Coke or Pepsi. We sold out of both VERY quickly.

The kids are so cute "Aren't you J's Mom?" "Hi S's Mom". I have no identity anymore - just known by who my kids and husband are.

Also got a call to be on the School Improvement committee. I said I would. We meet Monday already!!! Ought to be interesting. Got to talk to S's favorite guys - Quinn and Nicky - they are TOO funny.

Got my paperwork done today - now I have to spend ALL day tomorrow and reclaim the house.

J's belt test is tomorrow also. THAT ought to be VERY interesting. So we'll sign him up again and I swear I'm going to get S into a swimming class if it kills me. It's just too good a therapy at too good a price to pass up. Who knows, it might improve her behavior too. ;-)

Calendar Nazi strikes again

7:00 am this morning ---- ALL of our calendars have been changed and December events written down. That's right she's up and she's on a mission: "It's not November anymore". Gotta love her.

She's been "sick". Really she's constipated. Our trip south screwed up our poop schedule and she held "things"- so now we're paying for it. She threw up yesterday and I kept her home from school. She was NOT happy!!!! But she got over it and we watched Dora and took a nap with Rexie. By the time Dad got home she was raring to go. I had to go in to work and finish stuff so her and dad hung out and then walked to school to get J. She was very pleased to be able to do that.

In the morning, after she had gotten sick - I cleaned her up and as I was changing her she had a strange look on her face and I asked her if she needed to throw up again. "No thank you" was her reply. Later on, while she was resting on the couch, Rexie came up and started meowing. S said "Rexie, be silent - I'm sick". She cracks me up.

J was unbelievable! He was SO concerned for S. He rubbed her back and told her it was going to be ok. B came home and took J to school. As J climbed into the truck he told his Dad: "S threw up and I had to leave the room because she made me want to throw up." He is DEF a man! :-)

Gpa called this morning to see how his gal was doing. We should all be so sick. We just need to get "things" "through" and we'll be fine. Lots of errands to do today and they're calling for some real nasty weather. Gpa says it's already very slick there. I just hope we can get to the "Pretty Lights" today and see Santa or we're going to have a very upset little girl.

Only the Shadow Knows

Ok - *I* find this SO funny. B thought he saw a shadow on the wall of our bedroom at Aunt J's house. Now, I will admit that the dogs were going crazy in the garage. But I just figured it was an animal or something traveling through the yard. But B swears it was a person - and he saw the shadow. Even when I asked him - now how could anyone get out here without a vehicle? Plus it was cold that night - and snowing. I think his imagination is on overtime. J and I can't figure out how anyone can be freaked when they grew up in the "city".

What a GREAT time we had this holiday! We started with B-fast at Gma and Gpa's as usual. Then on to Aunt J's and a little down time. Thursday brought in all the usual players. All the kids - and boy, did they have a good time. Mad Dog did NOT wnat to leave that night. K&L stayed overnight and S went home with the Grans. J and L (who are cut from the same cloth) were thick as thieves and B and K were buds all night. Then on Friday we took all the kids to Bonkers and Mick met us there with his 2. Again - they all had a GREAT time! Casonoes after that - then K-mart and ended with a trip though the avenue of lights - all of which totally thrilled the kids.

Saturday we got K&L early and B and I and S went into town to the Grans and got some meat and stuff from the Windmill. Then to McComb and shopping. My sister then put on a big spread for us and Tod's. THAT was a lot of fun too. Those guys stayed till about midnight. We (the girls') beat the guy's butts in Tribond. We have the best time with those guys. They're SO like us - as parents and such.

My kids's got to see first hand how to clean out stalls and shovel manure. Or scoop poop as Stinky L would say. :-) The teachers will have a LOT to hear on Monday. It was pretty when we put the horses in the first night- it had just started snowing and there were big flakes blowing around through the lights above the stable. Bubba had to be first (as always) - I get so tickled watching him. He's the smallest but the orneriest - ruling with kick or a nip. Storm is loosing weight and no one knows why. She's so sweet - but you can just see in her eyes that she's just not quite right. The other kids are just their normal selves. They all stood and watched on Saturday morning as Gma/Aunt J played jail with K,L and J. She caught all of them and *they* quit before she did. (did you really ever have a doubt) :-)

So here we sit - watching the game, in front of the fireplace, waiting for Pizza to be delivered. S is in her room - making sure no one disturbed her people while we were gone and J is down at Tommy's. We go back to bread and water tomorrow. My God, we ate enough to kill a small bull.

I really love going south. J said this morning what I was thinking "but I don't want to go home". I wasn't quite ready myself. It's just fun to do nothing - to just visit and laugh and kid around. Not to mention having someone feed you all the time. My sister is a cooking fool and she says she likes it. I don't know - not me - I suck at cooking. I'm trying to take some mental notes from her. S would love it if I could make gravy like she does. :-)

What a happy, happy Thanksgiving. Thanks to everyone!

The Mouse King

We made it through the yearly performance of Nutcracker that we go to every year. S did REALLY well - of course we ALL bribed her - school and us. :-) J loves it and never has a problem sitting still and being quiet.

During the week S told me "You're a nice lady" as I combed her hair to the side. And J asked "What if I cheat?" When we told him it was time to play by himself. The stuff that comes out of their mouths is so funny sometimes.

I had team meeting this week. Things are going better at school lately. Thank God - I was just about to my breaking point with all the bad news. J of course has stepped up his nasty game. He's been on a green card streak lately. Also told a child he hated him. ugghh. Drives me nuts - that boy.

Report cards came out and as usual J has done VERY well - several E's which means he exceeds the district standards. But of course - since he IS J - he "needs work" on "self control" and "following directions". No duh. :-) He has a tendency to rush through things too. The problem is that - the answers are RIGHT! ugghh - can't even count on natural consequences to help me out with that boy.

S is all excited about T-giving coming up and going to Aunt J's. I saw this morning in her room that she's even packed a couple of animals in a old back pack that is SUPPOSED to be in the closet. Just try and take off without *that* girl.

So Bolingbrook is in the news again. Drew Peterson's wife, Stacy, has disappeared and there is media all over his street (so I hear). He's been on Today and Fox News. We're pretty much all over the nation. Robin, on my Oct list had heard of the case. I guess the really weird thing(s) are that 1. his 3rd wife (Stacy is his 4th) died of "drowning" but in looking at the coroner's report they have re-opened the case - because it seems to be consistent with a staging of an accident. Plus his 2nd wife has come forward and declared she was scared to death of him and the 3rd wife (drowning victim) had written to just about anyone who would hear that if she disappeared they should look to him first. I don't know - hate to say "guilty till proven innocent" - but this one seems true - either that or he is one UN lucky man. He says the wife took off with another man. She had two kids and had adopted his from the other marriage. Her oldest was 4 - there's NO way any woman would have left two that little. She would have taken them with. So again - this horrific stuff reaches my little world.

Tim S's wife/murderer is being tried right now. She's claiming she was abused verbally and passively by him withholding affection. There's a LOT of men that should be dead if THAT was all it took to turn a woman. Palease! I just don't get it . But as I was thinking about these two cases today it occurred to me that murders like this - esp spouses, seem to think they are WAY smarter than anyone else. The rest of us say stuff like - sure, there's times I'd have like to kill him but I never would - much less would I be able to cover it up --- but not them - they think they are smarter. Because look at all the cases where they have solved the case - look at all of them who have gone to jail. But not these people - *they* are smarter.

It's a VERY sad situation - not only is it the two involved in the marriage - but the kids and then the rest of the family. Mom, Dad, sister, brother - even us - the friends of Mom or the killed. It puts a big hole in the atmosphere.

It's strange how someone you don't know affects you. Every time I drive up to park at work and look at those woods - instead of seeing the beauty of the fall I keep looking in to see if I can see a body or anything. Haunting.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-----Robert Frost


I was introduced to this poem though song in High School. I loved it - still do - but looking back at it - it has a HUGE message for me right now. I HAVE taken the road less traveled. Even though it might not have been my choice. Little did I know then just how much this poem would resemble my life.

I am not the first traveler for sure. The first were those women whose plight was so misunderstood - they were judged, they were torn away from their children. I can't tell you how my heart goes out to them and the debt I feel to them.

Travel - keep on keepin' on. Perfect analogy for this life. Traveling, never feeling "at home". Seems like every thing that we find that "works" - does so only for a short time.

Today was a bad day again - according to school. I'm getting so frustrated. Some things are really going gangbusters - the conversation, the way she helps herself, but the behavior is just got me stymied.

She was Cinderella tonight at the Halloween (Fall Fest) Party at school. JES does the BEST job at school functions. I'm always amazed how many people show up to help, plan and what a great job they do. J was a Power Ranger. *He* was given the liberty to roam the school as he wanted. Dad had to run the golf game and I had S (who slows J down) :-) So I gave him some tickets and gave him the "lecture". (Under NO circumstances are you to leave this building EVER). :-) He didn't stray too far - needed more tickets. :-)

S and I spent a lot of time in the Cake Walk - her favorite and no, she didn't win. Strange - since she seems to win most everything of chance like that. They both had a ball. J won the paddle ball that he was trying so hard to win and S got several suckers that seem to make her very happy.

On the job front it's been a good week. I had all the quarterlies done last Friday and MIR left Wed for Cancun - his exact words were "if the place burns down, I'll read about it in the news". ;-) So with all my work pretty much done - (always monthly stuff to do)- I'll be having a couple of days of leisure. Even managed to run payroll Thurs - EVERYONE - in about 4 hours!!!

Tomorrow is TKD and a couple of parties. I haven't announced the parties yet - I heard enough tonight before the Halloween Fest - I sometimes wonder if blood is coming out of my ears. :-)

Somedays it's just too overwhelming

Have had a LOT of those days lately. First - I'm NOT going to get to go to the Yuen Seminar that I was so hopped up about. Birthday party - Halloween party and other commitments. :-/ Can I just say how ticked I am!

Had S's Project Choices Mapping. I'm not REAL sure it was that productive. I came out of it kind of depressed. I have to stop myself and the team sometimes and realize just what we have accomplished in a very short amount of time.

Progress on the Autism report - S can now joke back and forth:
"Good night, booger" <-Dad
"If you call me a booger again - I'm not going to school tomorrow." <-S
"Oh really, why not?"
"Cause boogers don't go to school."
I think this is HUGE. Look up anything on Autism - she isn't supposed to *get* that. I think between Daddy and Ms G she has been "taught" how to do this. :-)

J and I had an argument on Sunday about the TV. I said "I'm going to watch pre-game, J - you can go to my room and watch Spongebob"
He comes back out of my room saying it's not on in there and we go back and forth - finally I say "J - I'm not arguing anymore - I'm the Mommy and I'm going to watch pre-game - when you are the Daddy you can watch whatever you want"
"But I won't like it then" <-J Gotta love that boy.

As I walked the kids to school today - I stopped to talk to J and say goodbye and S went on with her friends. As I trailed behind I got a glimpse of how things might be when I'm gone. I liked what I saw. She was in the middle of 3 girls and was holding her own on conversation. I can feel how that weighs on me. I feel it right in my chest. I wonder if other Mom's worry SO much about dieing. Someone told me that God wouldn't do that. I don't know.

We were invited to Big J's birthday party and of course B doesn't want to go. Not real sure why. I've tried to convince him several times but I give up. Even cancelled my Yuen thing. (grrrrr) I figure it's his decision. There's only so much I can do in that setting.

I've got the urchins all on my own this weekend. Happy Birthday to me! :-/ Figure we'll clean up the yard this weekend - promises to be really nice. I'm kind of hoping this holds out through Thanksgiving. I'm really looking forward to a break from the rat race.

There's Always Room for Jello

Everyone got haircuts this weekend. J got his spiked - so now he needs "jello". "Do I look cool with Jello in my hair?" His command of the English language is hysterical.

He had a raging headache again on Saturday night. Not to mention a really weird rash on some of his body. He's just a weird little boy.

Some of you readers already know about my father's addiction to solitaire - for the rest of you I'll fill you in: My father has played solitaire every morning since ... well, for as long as I can remember. He keeps a deck right by his chair in the kitchen and even keeps score on a little notebook that he keeps with the cards. He has gone through many decks in my lifetime. The cards get all curved in from all the use. My point in telling you this??? Well, guess who is playing solitaire every morning? That's right the other J. Just like his name sake he sits at the table and plays hand after hand. My mother taught him how to play when he was staying with them this summer and now that's his thing. It's so cute.

The weather has turned cooler here and not everyone is very happy about it. S wanted to wear shorts this morning. Had to talk her down from her suicidal position. :-) J didn't seem phased by it. He just wears what ever I bring him. Typical man.

Everyone is excited about the approach of Halloween. They've been looking at everyone else's decorations.

No one *gets* it

I just walked the knee biters to school and on the way home I walked with a lady down the street. Her husband has a beautiful old car in his garage that he has restored and B has been down there several times. I've never spoke to her except the usual "good morning" "beautiful day, huh" "hot enough for you" what all good neighbors say.

She asked me about S this morning. She told me that her Johnny was in a home down state - beautiful place. He has CP. She told me about how he make .10 for every can he crushes and that he made about $4.00 one day. She said the people at work look at her weird when she tells them - but she *knew* I would understand.

Her Johnny is almost 40. She is one of the Mom's I owe a debt to. The ones who came before me and demanded things for their children when there was nothing. The Mom's who were REALLY alone!

I cried as I walked home. I'm not sure why. If it was greif for what her and I have lost or touched by a kindred spirit or happiness over celebration over another Mother's joy that the rest of the world will never *get*.

This life is so tough that sometimes emotions come out and you're stumped as to where that even came from. You push so much down and away to just deal with every day life that the bubbles rise to the top and explode sometimes.

Spiders

The boy read a book about spiders to me this morning. On one of the pages it said that some spiders eat other spiders. "Why do they do that? Are they spiders they don't know?"

Like if you eat a stranger that would be more understandable than eating say... a relative. :-) He's too funny. He's reading pretty well and he loves to do it.

S made her thank you cards today so I now need to send them out. She's doing better in school. Not near as many shout outs.

The *gang* is playing school here at night. I'm going to have to re-vamp the evening schedule so we can get some things done at night too. Even though mornings do seem to go well when we read and do some writing. I don't know......

"How do you know THAT song?"

J is constantly almost ticked off when I know songs. He came home with "All Night, All Day" yesterday and when I started to sing along I got the "How do you know that?" SO indignant. :-) I forget that I'm suppose to play the "dumb ol' Mom" who doesn't know anything, anyone or go anywhere. ;-) He loves to watch those shows where you have to fill in the rest of the song after you hear the beginning. Again, I get chastised if I know any. But yet he likes that I know all the words to "American Pie". Which we have sang at*least* 1200 times. :-)

Had S's team meeting Thurs. It went well. We're trying for writing again this year. Her reading is about at 1st grade level - which is right on target for where she was last year. She seems to be settling in to the routine - but I did pick something up from Mrs G that they were ALL on track now - meaning all the teachers were done with their rooms - I think S picked up on ALL that anxiety and that's what was causing the outbursts. I didn't voice my opinions - better to keep that between me and my guru Ron. :-)

So I found a class in Hinsdale at the end of Oct and I'll be signing up. I can't wait. Ron says there's also sessions on Monday nights and wanted to know if I wanted to go with her. Ummm - YEAH!!!!! The whole thing interests me SO much.

I've also decided that we'd TRY dairy free with S. That Dr's voice of my Mom's keeps sounding in my head over and over. "Yes, Mrs B - but you don't know what's going on in her *brain*." So Jenny M be damned!

Boy the house is one big piece of CLUTTER! Is there ANY paper in the world that isn't in this house???? That and clothing! Need to do power laundry today and tomorrow. I hate laudry. I've got to get my brain into a better dimension on that one.

Go back to your toilet, Jenny McCarthy!

Damn this chick annoys me!!! Her child is CURED! Bull shit! And it's so hard for her financially! OMG! She's not only someone who sells herself for money (her "beautiful" naked pictures) but now she sells her child. Ugghhh.

The thing is - if it works for her - fine - but it DOESN'T for all of us. #1 My child was autistic from birth. #2 My child is NEVER sick. Seriously - she RARELY even gets the flu and when she does it NEVER lasts more than a day. #3 This wench (McCarthy) makes autism so trivial. Talk about a bad rep. DAMN! #4 She has no other children and so her attention is NEVER divided! She doesn't have a clue!!!
But what's new - famous people telling the "real" world what we *should* be doing.

I'd like to personally invite her to live "real" life with an autistic person. No nanny, no Jim Carey (or his money) no private school, no entourage, no personal assistants, cooks, you name it. Lets see what she'd have to say THEN. She makes me want to barf!

Dr Yuen? Heck YES I'm in!!!

I went to the seminar about the Yuen method of Chinese Energetics! It was FANTASTIC! I am SO a believer! I actually felt the knot in my stomach when S was upset and I felt a huge core of strength and a warmth all through my body. It makes SO much sense!!!

And the wildest part is that my friend Ron (the meat and potato's person) is the one that introduced me to it! We just had a GREAT time!!!

It's been (another) Hard Days Week

Whew - it's been a loo loo!!!! The good thing - it's GOT to get better. :-)

REALLY looking forward to the Dr Yuen thing tomorrow. I'm hoping to restock my bag of tricks. :-) Ok, sue me for overusing that phrase lately. :-)

J got to "buy" snack today. You would have thought I gave him the world. Now his idea is to "buy" every "T" day (as in Tuesday and Thursday). I vetoed it with "how about every other Friday". I got the usual spaghetti leg whine about how horrible his world is.

Vision and Hearing again today. I will say it again and again and again. Teachers just DON'T make enough!!! I can't tell you how many tests I had to interrupt to get kids. It was chaotic for a while this morning. The small ones are cute, the older ones can be an endless source of information. :-)

It's been SO warm lately. But we've shut off the air and since it gets nice at night I've been leaving it off. Poor animals are passing out from heat during the day. :-)

Tae Kwon (how) Do I LOVE it!!!

Had our first lesson on Saturday. I LOVE it! It's everything J needs!!!! And he loves it too. He cried at first. They don't really explain at first and do the shouting and bowing thing and I think it freaked him out ----- BUT he didn't come running to me AND he sucked it up and continued. I was so proud of him.

Aunt J came in on Friday - we walked down to get S and J and S was beside herself with happiness. Skipping and beaming from ear to ear to see "Joel". Then we went out to eat and they all sang Happy Birthday to her and she just smiled all over herself.

B did his garage sale this weekend. It went very well. Before we left for school J wanted to sell his jacket...............that he had ON! Oh, this boy.

Saturday night we went to Chuckie's place. We had a really nice time, even though the service was horrible! S was VERY pleased.

So the weekend was a lot of fun.

Things are tough

Life has become very difficult lately. The same old thing - 1 step forward - 2 steps back. I feel SO much anxiety when we walk to school - what I'm going to hear from the teachers, S is really having a tough time lately. Home is the same way. More accidents, so much screaming, tantruming. She's getting so much harder as she gets older.

I'm just so angry. So tired. So frustrated. I feel like I'm just "out of it". It seems like my bag of tricks is empty.

On a happier note - we celebrate 10 years tomorrow. She's decided it's Chuck E Cheese this year. I hope that after all the hoopla is over - she can settle down and we can progress this year.

J, on the other hand seems to have found his niche. He's on a white card streak. Everyday, when I pick him up from daycare, he's all happy to announce how he got another white card. At home, we need to buckle down. He's getting away with too much. I'm drained from S and I'm not on top of my game. A critical mistake when dealing with J.

He Tried Lettuce

.... and since he wasn't sure if it was lettuce or celery ........ he put some in his POCKET so he could bring it home and show me!!!!!! Oh, J is a treasure!! :-)

We all sat and watched the parade on Sunday. We figured it was prob the LAST parade that we *could* all sit together. We had a REALLY nice time!

S had a really rough time in church on Sunday (it was FISH Sun) and you have SEEN the STARES!!! I wasn't sure if he was new or not but at one point I even mouthed "can I help you". It was HORRIBLE! He was in front of us and kept turning back so much that the lady in back of him turned too to see what he was looking at. Plus, it wasn't the sermon or anything - I don't know I was just ticked!!!

B&I taught our first class together. We only had two students. I was very surprised that they want to do memory work of bible verses!!! It was THEIR suggestion.

We did Market Day yesterday. Again, a good time. It would help SO much if I could speak Spanish. This has been brought to my attention by SEVERAL instances this last week. Now, to find a class that will fit my schedule and start with the BASICS!

God gives you a kiss in heaven

S started talking about heaven yesterday and as she described who all was there she then said "God gives you a kiss when you get to heaven." I thought that was so cute. Sometimes she's SO "with it".

We watched J's football game yesterday. That was nice. He does very well. He really seems to like it too. It's always so nice to see L&E. B and J went to do his Tiger scout thing with Public Works. I really think they both had a great time.

We had the conspiracy over this week. It's so strange and I really don't understand the "game". They did their "usual thing" and they always have a nice time together. Which I'm so happy to see. We did the White Fence Farm thing - that was really nice. We haven't been there for so long.

I'm really starting to worry about J. He's so out of control sometimes. So disrespectful. The rules really need to be tighter on that boy.

There are SO many in her corner

S has been doing so well in her big girl pants. You wouldn't believe the amount of support we've gotten with her lately. Everyone is so happy for her.

RL and I are going to try and go to a session on Dr Yuen. I'm really kind of excited about it.

I also opened my mouth today and now am helping with vision and hearing screening tomorrow. So much for taking it easy this week. :-p Where was my head????

S's disorder is very prominate this year. 4th grade is such a HUGE step and for her even more so.

I'm Invisable

I'm invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,
the way
one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and
ask to be
taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the
phone?"
Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or
sweeping
the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one
can see
me at all. I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?
Can you
tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a
clock
to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What
number is
the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
eyes
that s tudied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -
but now
they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She's
going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return
of a
friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous
trip, and
she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting
there,
looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard
not to
compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style
dress;
it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair
was
pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell
peanut
butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me
with a
beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a
book
on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd
given it
to me until I read her insc r iption: "To Charlotte , with admiration
for the
greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover
what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I
could
pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we
have no
record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a
work they
would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no
credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes
of God
saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a
tiny bird
on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are
you
spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be
covered by
the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because
Gods ees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost
as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the
sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No
act of
kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've
baked, is
too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great
cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease
that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own
self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I
keep
the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of
the
people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to
work on
something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book
went so
far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime
becau s ethere are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's
bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in
the
morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey
for three
hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd
built a
shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home.
And
then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're
gonna
love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if
we're
doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will
marvel,
not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added
to the
world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM