Anger!

I ran into a lady I've known from the Special Needs world today.  I hate to say it but I always dread talking to her because she is ALWAYS so very critical of the school, JBSRA, most everything.  And today was no exception.  She started in about the High School and her bad experiences.  Then proceeded to tell me that I was in fact, the person who knows Sally best.  You hear this SOOO much in the Special Needs world. 

Now, I may be the only one who feels this way -(or the only one who will tell the truth) but I do NOT know Sally best.  I know the Sally I live with - but even then - how well do you ever know someone?  I remember fighting with my Mom about who I was - what I felt.  You live with a spouse for years and when he/she cheats - did you know them best?  When you see a parent in the news commenting on their child that just slaughtered a family - didn't they think they "knew" their child?  We fool ourselves as parents and we puff ourselves up WAY too much. 

Again I say - we take our children to Dr's because we don't know what's best for our child when it comes to health.  We take Jack to an Orthodontist that our Dentist recommended because the Orthodontist knows better than the Dentist what's best for Jack.  Both Bill and myself can swim but Sal and Jack both went to swimming lessons.  So I ask - why are teachers not looked at like this?  Why is it we think we all know so much better than these professionals.  And lets face it - most of them have as much schooling as some doctors. 

There's that puzzle piece that stands for Autism and it's about the fact that we never get it all put together yet we pretend that we've seen the picture on the box.  That's siddy (as Sal would say).  So then I started to think about why.  This lady and I use her only as example because believe me, I've talked to SOOOO many people like this (typical children's parents too).  

I think it's the anger.  It's the hopelessness you feel.  The Special Needs world can be a very very dark and lonely place.  Even for the most well-adjusted and optimistic parent - there are still days and weeks and months of very dark days and too many worries and frustrations to count.  I hate to admit it but there's a lot of jealousy too.  Why me, why my kid?  Just the way the world is set up can make you very angry.  There's a lot of places where parents hands are tied and God love them the parents that made the laws to benefit my kid - they had to fight.  And in some areas I still have to "fight" or be on guard.  But school has come SO far and is making strides more and more and more so to "fight" and complain all the time is senseless to me - although I so very much understand the feelings behind it. 

I wonder if we could build a gym for Special Needs Parents - and have a staff there that can help us all to put that anger where it belongs.  Make use of all that anger and hurt and pain.  The bad thing about that - Special Needs parents do less for themselves than "typical" parents so this gym would soon turn into meetings on "how to better_________"   :-)