Sunday, February 06, 2011

Rough Times

When Sal was a baby and she would wake me in the night I often sat there with her with a real wonderment of how I could love something so much that interrupted my sleep and that I didn't even get upset about it.  That always amazed me that I never felt angry or ticky at her for getting me up time after time after time.

I thought back on this time tonight as I was once AGAIN showering her off because she had had an accident.  Those days are gone.  She can bring me to tears very easily - and I know that it really is no fault of her own.  She can't help it today anymore than she could as a baby - but it's been 13 years, she DEMANDS now and she's NOT little.  :-)   But the wild thing is - she's still just as innocent. 

Oh, for a look into that mind.  I'd give anything - my kingdom for a look into her mind (and a coffee pot that pours correctly)  :-)   

My Mom called today and told me about a friend she was concerned about who's daughter doesn't engage in conversation.  (She's has aspergers syndrome).  My first thought was "and the problem is???"  :-)
I had had a day (WEEK) of non-stop talking. Non-stop questions.   I opinioned that we could bump the girls together and see if they could get a little of the other.  :-)   Everyone has their own cross to carry.  Mine's just a little heavy tonight.

We had planned to go to friend's house and autism, once again, got in the way.  And as I sit here a little irritated that I didn't get to go (feeling like Jack who pouts and stomps)  :-)  I also have to laugh at the girl who sits on the couch after being bathed and hair washed and teeth brushed saying "I love COPS" as she watches the show.  ;-)   And once again I am humbled by this crazy creature that evokes so many emotions in me.  This person who is such a mystery yet such a constant.  Someone who seems to know what I'm thinking so much that it's scary yet cannot even blow her own nose.  :-)

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