New Year!!!?????

Day number 2 - doesn't seem that different. But then again it does. I've had a realization this week. My sister and I were commiserating on the critics in our lives who, without even being close to us, feel they know better how we should act or what we should say.

We both kind of feel like "when you change your loved one's soiled undies on a daily basis - then you can talk to us", :-) So it got me to thinking.... It's always "family" that feel they can judge us like this. Is it because THEY can't fathom the idea of us being able to handle this? Do we not fit the mold they've made for us? Are we stronger than they've ever given us credit for? See, my theory is that they have placed us in a role (we all do it) and usually it is a role of "much less than" their role and now, suddenly or over time, they can't see us lower than they are - the way they were so comfortable in seeing themselves. Sometimes being around people that *you* feel are *more than you* is uncomfortable because you have to look at yourself and maybe they're not real happy with themselves??? I just say this because I know when I talk to people who have a lot of energy it makes me feel like a slug because I feel like I don't do anything. I think this happens to the older of the siblings. They have placed you in a role of always needing them. Of you never really amounting to much - because you were such a pain in the butt as a kid. I've always said - I could cure cancer tomorrow but I'd always be "Monster" to my siblings - the kid who was always in trouble and got bad grades. :-) And then again - I'm way off and some people are just nasty for the sake of being nasty. :-)

So, Sally said to me yesterday "Do I have to be a teenager?" :-) We were talking about what would be happening this year and such. We also got into a conversation about wishes - and what each kid would wish for. Jack wished for more wishes (big surprise there) but Sal wished that EVERYONE would have a wish! Awww - is that not sweet. :-)

The Holidays have been tough on her. It's an anxious time for all kids but for the Auti's of the world - it's even more crazy and then there's the whole "that was it?" let down that I think we ALL experience.

My brother-in-law has had some set backs. He went to surgery over the holidays and it all went well, BUT he decided he wasn't doing rehab at the hosp so they took him back to the nursing home. He went to the ER over the weekend and at one time it was a very touchy 24 hours. He has recovered and is prob going back to the nursing home on Monday. My sister is really having a rough time! It just seems like one tiny step forward and 4 huge steps back - ALL the time. Seems like she's getting called for all sorts of stupid reasons. His attitude is the WORST. Not that he doesn't deserve to be a butt head - but he had been much better - still a pain in the arse - don't get me wrong - he's still Mike. But this person is SOOOO bad. I wish he'd do therapy at the hosp - I think because *they* work with people like that MUCH more than the N Home they would prob be able to recognize what attitude was "normal" and what was meds, diet, etc. I worry about both of them. It's very hard to be away from everything - but I'm sure it's hard to be there too. You want to just wave a wand and make it all better.