Stick a Fork In Me!

I'm SO done! Ok - when I go to a tee ball game - it's about the boy. But instead I got stuck next to another person who does nothing but talk special needs!!! OMG! I don't think I saw one play from beginning to end! There's sometimes I just don't want to even think special needs. I was so angry and so *tired* after the game.

I *think* J did well. He has SUCH a good time at play! Of course, when we came home he stripped and was out playing with the "gang" by the time B and I had just got in and put our stuff down.

S was also in a mood. I wonder if she knows that we're discussing things that pertain to her. I wonder if she's sick of hearing about special needs too. She wouldn't sit still - she wouldn't play people - she just wouldn't do too much of anything - but whine! :-(

My Eyes Have It

No, nothing serious. I just had a check up this week and for the first time they diluted my eyes. ..... NOT a fun experience. :-/ First the drops burn - no one told me this. Second everything gets very blury. You keep blinking thinking that you can clear the eye, but noooooo. Anyway - I learned a lot from a Dr that just kept talking on and on. :-)



I have always been very sensitive to light - always wearing sun glasses - even when the sun didn't *really* warrant them. The reason : my "light" eyes. I have greenish, brownish, blueish, hazel eyes. They kind of take on different colors depending. Anyway - after checking for tears and such, he goes on to tell me how light my eyes are and that they should be very sensitive to light and the drops and all. Well, *now* he tells me. Also he says "you have very low blood pressure too - don't you?" Yeah - I do. According to him he can see this in my eyes and this is the reason I feel dizzy sometimes and can be part of the headaches. Plus, my right eye is sees much better than the left one and is compensating for this. That could produce the headaches also.

So, I get glasses (stronger) at least for the left eye and tells me I should really invest in some *good* sun glasses. I explain the children. He suggests the "unbreakable" kind. I explain Jack. :-)

Looking forward to a little "down" time this weekend. Got most of the laundry done and have kept up with the kitchen - thanks to B so I don't foresee a lot of crap to do. J has a game tomorrow - I'm hoping it's not cold or rained out. I need to get my presents out to the folks - or they'll outgrow their shirts. ha ha. Jack still has some thank yous to do too. I might even tackle my desk tonight so I can really relax this weekend. :-)

Might be a nice time to set up the lawn furniture and actually use it. Also promised J that I'd teach him how *I* was taught to bat. :-) No snickering ------- I can hear you.

Florida Teacher

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Fire-teacher-for-unprofessional-conduct

This is the story about the Kindergarten teacher who had the class take a vote to see if they should keep this little boy in their class. The vote was taken AFTER the teacher had all members of the class tell this little boy what they didn't like about him.

Not only is does this story scare the hell out of me that teachers like this actually exist but it is some of the comments listed after the story. Some people want to give her a medal! Cannot we see that there are MUCH better ways to handle this. Special Needs or not (they're saying the boy is borderline autistic) this should NEVER happen in a classroom!!! Maybe we should now give the people who read this story a vote on what should happen to the teacher.

Can I just once again say how much I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE JES!!!! *My* school ROCKS!!! ;-)

What a FUN Weekend!

So maybe I have a "convienent" memory. :-) Some funny things did happen this weekend (Memorial Day) and WE got a LOT of stuff done!

We went garage saling on Saturday. J GAVE S some of HIS money!!!!! They both left with $5 in quarters. S had to buy something at each sale. ;-) After the first sale J asked "How much did S *waste*?" :-) Too funny. On the way home S was complaining about a Arthur doll she had bought that needed a couple of stitches to hold up his glasses. I told her I could fix that with needle and thread. From the back seat - loud as can be - I hear "YOU can sew?????!!!!" In a voice that can hardly believe what I said. :-)

"Yes, J, I can sew."
"Like Gma and Aunt J?" he asks still amazed
"Well, yes."
"Then why don't you make stuff" he says - testing me
"Because I don't enjoy doing the stuff that Gma and Aunt J do, I'd rather scrap book."
"But we could have more blankets if you did"
Never fear - leave it to J to figure out how EVERYTHING can benifit him.

Sometimes I wonder that if in his eyes I'm just the dumbest woman ever put on the earth. :-) I know I'm the worst mother. ;-)

They played outside ALL weekend. The mud hardly ran down the drain after their baths. ;-) J can NOt get enough of "playing".

We got out ALL the summer stuff and *almost* have all the winter clothes put away. Yesterday it was in the 70s. Today it's around 50. Ugghh. I *do* always leave out some winter clothes - but it's just the point of it all.

S and I went to see O's game. That was really fun. I love to watch them play. Same way with Mrs G's son. J's games are getting better. It's just that I'm usually busy with whatever is keeping S occupied.

S did well this weekend. A little bit of naglet. But she can tone it down if asked. I really need to get the "softeners" in her - but I can't figure a time that it would hit at home and not at school. I totally forgot about it this weekend.

B made the BEST meals this weekend. He is such a good cook. I was SO glad he took over this weekend. AND he cleaned up. LOVE that!!!! I think he knows the government checks are getting closer to us and he wants to make sure he gets to spend his cut frivolously. ;-)

BIG News!

S is going to be a "Patrol" next year at school. Patrols kind of "patrol" the school - in the morning and after school - making sure kids don't fight in line or do "bad things". (I guess I would call them tattle tales or informers) :-) It is a BIG step for her. She's really good at knowing how one should act - it's the enforcing it with OUT physical contact that will be hard for her. :-)

I can't believe that all too soon we'll be saying goodbye to another set of teachers. And then in one VERY short year it will be time for Jr High. Just where did the time go? It's funny looking back at all of our "autistic phases" that we went through - feces smearing, drooling, non-verbal, potty training (at age 10), a room that was in FANTASTIC order and her getting ticked when it wasn't, tantrums, yelling out, and yes, we do still have *some* of those symptoms - we sure have come a LONG way! I can't WAIT to see where she goes from here. :-)

We had our school book fair at Barnes and Noble last night and --- O M G! Both S and I were like kids in a candy store. I think she would have taken one of everything and so would I. J on the other hand, was overwhelmed, I think. It was very hard for him to choose and he didn't "want anything". I think he was afraid he'd take the wrong thing. He also fought me about getting toys instead of books. WHY do they sell toys in the bookstore? I know some of the toys go with the books but there's a LOT that don't!

Mrs H turned me on to a book that has to do with an autistic child and a NT sibling, and I found 2 more CS Lewis' that I hadn't read yet. I'm set for some good summer reading. The bad thing is that with S's swimming lessons over for the summer - I don't have a nice chunk of time that's pretty much un-interrupted. :-(

Looking forward to a nice long weekend. I have a lot to do - STILL haven't exchanged summer for winter clothes! But the weather hasn't really demanded that it be done - and you know me - never do something till it's a deadline! :-)

I'm also planning on finishing the planting and painting the fence and in general clean up "the grounds". I've decided we should paint the fence with chalkboard paint and then get a bird feeder to store the chalk. That way it won't sit out in the weather but would be able to find also. We'll see how that idea flys with the power that be. :-)

The Birthday is FINALLY Over!

Thank the Good Lord - we're finally done with J's birthday. The day is actually the 14th but it seems like we've been "celebrating" for over 2 weeks! Aunt J came up this weekend and we went to see the baseball game.

The bouncy castle - or dinosaur arrived on Sunday at 9am and stayed till 8pm. At one time there were 13 children out there! We had hotdogs, chips, cupcakes and ice-cream and of course Popsicles the whole day.

J received a game ball on Saturday because he drove in both the tying and winning run. Granted he stopped to tie his shoe on 2nd - but nevertheless he felt like a star. :-) I find it so humorous how serious people get about this. Most of the kids are almost oblivious to what's going on but the parents get into it like it's a life or death situation. Parents...... they're just nuts.

I've been sick the last couple of days. Not sure how much is physical and how much is mental. I'm just really tired. Mentally beat up.

My little "Autistic" is talking non-stop and as usual hits the ground running and expects the same from me. I don't re-charge as well as she does. She's having problems in the potty dept again. I think it's just one of those things. Roller coaster kind of progress. We just "keep on keepin' on".

Looking forward to haircut and a little *me* time today. Still need to do some laundry when I get home - but we get dinner out tonight because it's "school dinner night". That's kind of nice - start tomorrow with a clean kitchen.

Do You Trust Meds or Not?????

I'm on several email lists about autism. One link in all of them - their children were all poisoned by vaccines. The few of us that don't believe this learn very early to keep our mouths shut less you wake the lion and get your butt flamed. But just this morning I read a post about someone having problems getting a child to sleep through the night. Benedryl was first suggested then more and more drugs. It occurred to me that if you believe your child was poisoned why in God's name would you be putting more medication (made by the evil drug company) into a child and for no more purpose than your own comfort.

Now, don't get me wrong - I don't have one problem helping a child to sleep in a responsible way if only for your own personal sanity. BUT - I don't preach to all who will hear how my kid was poisoned and that my child "died in front of my very eyes". A quote that I SO hurt for people who really do loose a child never hear.

Not to mention that fact that a lot of these same people use meds to keep their child in check. So vaccines are bad and meds are good? Doesn't make good sense does it? I don't know - I don't have all the answers but I DO believe that just as no child with autism is the same - neither is the cause and to take matters to the legal system creates another problem all together.

Just a little food or drugs for thought.

I'm The Birthday Boy!

This is what we heard out of J's room yesterday morning! We had our usual birthday breakfast, sang to him, blew candles and recited his birth story - which he absolutely loves. Then we took his brownies and apple juice to school. He was SO proud and SO excited!

S and I had picked up the treats at Walmart the night before. She loves going shopping and J loves to have someone get the stuff he dictates. :-) The only problem was S peed her pants right in the checkout. She was pretty upset. Thank God she had a jacket on. I tied it around her waste and notified the checker that there was a need for a mop. It was raining outside so no one even noticed. I think it was because we had been talking to someone in line who was from JES and I think she just waited too long. "That's an accident and accidents happen, right Mom" she said. I didn't even scold her - just told her to remember to tell me right when she first feels the pee.

J and Daddy went to the batting cages last night. Then we went out for birthday dinner - guess where. That's right - Mc Ds. :-) S actually initiated talking with a little girl that was there. Asked her how old she was and where she went to school. I was quite impressed.

We have a baseball game tonight, I'm just praying it doesn't get so cold again. :-( S and I have swimming lessons first. She LOVES swimming, and *I* love that! :-)

Thoughts of a Mom
By Maureen K. Higgins

Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you out every day. I've looked for you on the Internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores. I've become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are my "sisters."

Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite sorority.We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail. We were initiated in neurologist's offices and NICU units, in obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries. All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our toddler. Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed. Something wasn't quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs. We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children's special needs.

We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes. We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find. We know "the" specialists in the field. We know "the" neurologists, "the" hospitals, "the" wonder drugs, "the" treatments. We know "the" tests that need to be done, we know "the" degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and psychiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children. We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it.

We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us on line. We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections.

We have learned that many of our closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our sorority, and don't even want to try. We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley's "A Trip To Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The Special Mother." We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours. We have coped with holidays. And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family. We've gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we'd make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we did it.

We've mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy.We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent. And we've mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip. But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing.Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars.
*******************************************************************

OH! Sing is my Sistah!!!!! Ain't it the truth! I'm always amazed at how EXHAUSTING "special living" can be! I always think it's just me till I run into another Mom or *my* Mom has S for a week. I LOVE her so much it doesn't *seem* that different - till she's gone and I get to experience that "normal" life. :-) There's only a very few days I'd trade. I'm glad.

She is the *I* in her IEP

Team meeting yesterday. This kid is just going GANG BUSTERS! She took what they call a 4th grade probe - she read 43 words!!!! That's grade level - baby!!!!! What's really funny - I was stopped 3 times in the hall before I actually got to the meeting and was told congratulations. The WHOLE school is S's teacher. :-) We also started the *PROCESS* of getting her a laptop for class next year. You know the State - have to document and prove everything 3 times over. Puts me right over the edge. But we're looking at having one by next Sept - if not - B and I have decided we would furnish one.

I also got to see some really COOL new software out there. Like the "smart" stuff - once she types a letter a screen will pop up with words for her to pick from. I'm very excited about this. I thought Tech Club was just going to be a chance for her to be more independent and practice social skills and here she busts through that too. She really should be the poster child for inclusion. She has really blossomed. Thank God for Mrs Anderson!!!

J's game was cancelled on Wed - we were ALL so bummed. I really don't know why - it had stopped raining several hours before - but maybe the fields just couldn't be saved. Who knows. But I was really bummed. J, of course, just ran off to play - no skin off him. :-) God, he LOVES to play outside!

We received a box of books from Aunt Betty this week. We were ALL excited. They are SO cute. Lots of "Children's Letters to God" and that type. J is loving reading them before bed. He also brought home a Junie B Jones book that we're almost done with. We read while S is at swimming lessons. I love Junie B - she reminds me a LOT of J. :-)

We were all up at 6 am today - woo hoo. :-/ ughhh. Got to get our "playing" in before school. They're begging at 7 to go get the neighbors. I hold them off till 8 and then the neighborhood is up for grabs.

I'm planning on planting all my *stuff* this weekend. I thought I could get laundry done and take it easy but no going. :-/ Such is Mother's Day weekend. :-)

Oh Yeah - THAT's the job I want my kid to have!

PALEASE! The White Sox apparently have a blow up doll in their locker room with bats going up into "strategic" places. This was all done to break the "curse" of bad and no hits. Hey, I got a CRAZY idea - how about BATTING PRACTICE????!!!!!!



This will now be my MAIN example of why I think professional ball players are HUGE WASTES - and seriously DON'T have the sense God gave a goose! Yes, they have the right to do this - but *I* have the right to see and treat them as the 12 year olds that they so obviously are! And I shudder when I think that my child may very well want to be a pro ball player one day - and then I see me telling him (and yes, I WOULD put MY opinions ON my child for this one) how STUPID (yes, S I said stupid) the profession is. Baseball not exclusive - this is true. Benson, from the Bears was arrested recently and don't get me started with Urlacher and his Baby Momma crap. They're idiots, the whole lot of them. No one kept them grounded when they were growing up. No one told them that when God gives you a special talent He EXPECTS a LOT from you. And not just on the field. Ok, I'll step off my horse now. :-)

Take Me Out To The Freezer?

DANG! It was COLD at the diamond today!!!! We all dressed in our J finery and our Purple Murple outfits and headed out to face the winds, rain and COLD!

But as luck would have it, cold seems to be no threat to the boy. He was on fire today. Well, as on fire as a 6 year old can be. :-) He went 3/3 at the plate and handled himself VERY well behind the plate. Catching seems to be his thing. He also scored the tying run (by SLIDING into home and getting conked on the head) and was the only person to hit the ball into the outfield. The thing is - I'm not quite sure who was more excited J or his dad. :-)

We had after game dinner at Culver's and we talked and talked about J's game. As we went to a different topic he politely asked "Excuse me, can we talk about my baseball again?" Like there was a choice. :-)

So we dropped the girl off at Social Club (today was Cinco De Mayo Party) and headed to Wal-Mart to buy a new glove. All you die hard baseball fans - don't worry - I'm saving the old glove - just in case all the luck is in it. :-)

As we're walking through the store he turns to his Dad and asks "Who were we versus today?" He cracks me up, that boy.

So the girl comes bouncing up the stairs from Social Club and produces a back pack full of *stuff*. The obviously had pinatas' and lots of candy. :-) She's smiles from head to toe. What a difference an evening can make. :-)

I Wish...

"I wish S didn't have Autism." J's words ring true in my ears. "Yeah, well, then she wouldn't be S would she? She wouldn't say things like *you're a nice boy, J*.

"She might," he answered me.

"No, autism is as much a part of S as her eye color or being right handed. It's the way she sees the world."

This whole little conversation came up as we put J to bed - after leaving a family gathering rather abruptly. S was very close to melt down totally tonight. It was too warm, too loud, too close and she was tired and she couldn't really "get away "or "tune out" as she does. We tried a walk outside - but being dark I think it scared her just a little. Or at least put more anxiety in her. I'm VERY tired. My anxiety doesn't help either in the situation. And thus, this is why we don't go many places that we don't know well.

I feel very bad for B and J. They were having SUCH a good time. I MUST remember that next time we should take two cars. It doesn't seem fair to punish EVERYONE. I also feel sorry for S. It gets crazier and crazier as the years go by with meltdown prevention.

Autism is NOT a tragedy it is the fact that MOST of us are unversed in the autism language and don't know how to help them maneuver this crazy world. Hell, most of the time*I* can't maneuver the world. Little secret: the walk tonight was as much for me as it was for her. I just can't do the loud and crazy anymore. :-)

Yesterday...

was the best day in J's life. If you're a loyal reader you know that this has been said several times before. :-) The reason for this particular "best day" was that the after school daycare took them skating. *I* personally, thought it was fantastic. They paid for skating and snack. How nice is that. JS Elem School just gets better and better for us. I've never met so many nice and concerned people. Not to mention on the top of their game.

So, I had lunch with the Wild Boys yesterday. That's always fun and interesting. :-) Seems one of their co-workers is really getting up there in age and is having some difficulties. They were making fun of it because - well - that's what they do - but it's really kind of sad. There's so many people having to work longer and longer and still not making it. Bossman told me that stats say that the next generation will actually be *poorer* than the one before. How sad is that.

S informed me that I was "a nice girl" yesterday because I asked her if she was ok when she had a little coughing attack. She is SO funny sometimes. We had to watch "Naughty Kids" (the rest of you know it as "Supernanny") this morning - I had taped it last night. She is really into that. But thank God we don't have to watch reruns over and over like we did before. She's content with just one showing.

Gma sent money and treats yesterday - for good report cards. I don't think my guys really *get* that. And I'm sure that's really a bad thing. :-) J was SO excited to see the box on the front porch. Telling all his friends that he got a present! I so want that shirt "it's all about J".

Tonight is the regular baseball practice and swimming lessons with the encounter of Mothers of "neuro-typical" children. I have to admit it's kind of entertaining in a way. Kind of a life boat kind of way. ;-)