Well, it might as well have been titled : Kelly Davidek, This is Your Life. Just finished the book and Good God it was a total life changer! It's about a woman who's going through a divorce and who writes a book about an autistic boy. Hmmmm - sound kind of familiar? But the mind blowing thing is it didn't connect me with Sal so much or give me inspiration about her ------- it was JACK! There is a sentence at the end of the book: " The spectrum is long and wide, and we're all on it. Once you believe this, it becomes easy to see how we're all connected." Ok - may not be as apparent to you - but it totally blew me away. Here I've been treating Sal so individualized and didn't even consider (well, not really) that JACK is as well on the spectrum. No, not as diagnosis, but in the fact that he is different too - different from Sal, from me and from Bill. I need to show him that I love him unconditionally just as I show Sal. I think I try more to "mold" Jack - trying to correct a lot of behavior that drives me crazy, trying to get him to talk to me like I talk to people. Well, howdy doody - it just doesn't work like that.
I also realized through the book that I HAVE to forgive Bill. Not for Bill and not for the kids - but for me. I have to go positive on this. So many feelings swept through me in this book. We're ALL like Anthony and we all have our OWN way of communicating love and happiness.
So on a lighter note: The Swimmer Sal won blue and red ribbons last week for 50m freestyle and 50m backstroke respectively. She amazes me. She was on a high all weekend because the day after her meet we put up the Christmas stuff. Yes, I did it! Those who know me - or have read previous entries know that I am by NO means a fan of Christmas. There are many things wrong with it in my opinion and no, I'm not making a moral statement about YOUR feelings or religion or holiday - I'm talking about me - me only - MY opinion. All the gift giving, busy work, decorating, COLD, shuffling of furniture, planning of gatherings, tv specials, red and green all of it....bleck. BUT - I did it - did the whole decorating thing with no help (except Jack and Sal). It went well. It was tough when we were done - that's when Sal and Jack play dreidel or the Christmas card game that lives in the Christmas box all year and Bill and I would sit on the couch and look at all the decorations we had just put up and then become quite aware that they were indeed getting along and that at any minute the balance of power could shift from us to them. :-) So I decided that my goal for next Christmas is to come up with new traditions. And since I don't have to have them approved by anyone (who usually hated any ideas I had) I think Christmas just *might* make a come back in my life. :-)
