My cousin's 12 year old daughter died last week. Her obit was in the paper today. It was really lovely. It's so hard to wrap your brain around kids' deaths. Sal and I had seen her at a gathering we had for my aunt this fall - she was so good to Sal. Helping her roast hotdogs and marshmallows. A real sweetie. Crazy how quickly life changes. She had meningitis and was actually starting to get better, but that was not to be.
So, I'm sitting here with a sympathy card in front of me and I have NO idea of what words to even put down. How do you even start??? To me that HAS to be like hell on earth - to loose your child. Even though I pray every night that I live just one day longer than Sal - what I mean is for her to live a nice long life and for me to be there for her the whole time. Just brings the whole me leaving her front and center more and more.
I've decided not to tell Sally. She didn't know Megan all that well. We had just been with the whole family the one time that she remembers . As it is, Sal has this phobia of being sick. She insists she's NEVER sick. (when you're sick you have to stay home from school) So, I don't think telling her that Megan got sick and died would be a good thing. Too much unnecessary anxiety.
On a very weird note - my guided reading group is reading a book in which the one of the characters (a 12 year old boy) died. Talk about bringing things full circle.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Life is Good
There are times when things are really good. Nothing big that happens - it's just that things are running pretty well. Oh, sure the house is a mess (as always) and there's laundry to be done, but everyone is happy. They're not bickering, homework is done and dinner doesn't have to be made for a while.
Sal got her report card today. She's on 1st honors again. Which in Sally world is all about Celebration of Success. This is kind of a "party" for all the kids who have made honor roll. They have it Friday after school and have a DJ and refreshments and games and just general merriment. :-) THIS is what's most important to Sal. :-)
I had a meeting with her teacher yesterday and we talked about high school. Even though Sal won't go for another year - she wanted to get my feelings about a class called "low incidence". It's basically a life skills class. She'll learn to cook, do laundry, grocery shop, ---- hey - maybe *I* should go. :-)
Swimming last night - Sal's gonna compete in 50 meter free style - which means she'll have to do 2 lengths of the pool. She's pretty excited. God, she loves to swim.
Jack has been in an exceptionally good mood lately. I guess I haven't ruined his life this week. :-) He got his braces off and retainer put in. He's none too happy. He says the retainer is worse than the braces when it comes to eating. He looks so nice, though. No more gap or little narrow ferret face. :-)
We had an interesting basketball game again last weekend. The game before us was FULL of butt-heads lead by a butt-head coach who insisted on being ON the court through most of the 4th quarter and yelling. The ref's had to stop the game several times. There was many heated exchanges between ref and coach. When we get to the games I always let Jack go sit with his coach and team so after these exchanges I headed to where Jack's team was sitting and called him to come sit with me so I could de-program all the drama that was happening. I did my very best "I'm so embarrassed that grown -ups act this way" face and talked over and over about how would he feel if that was Gpa or Uncle Brad or Uncle Mike out there ref'ing. Wouldn't he be angry that someone yelled at them like that. I also went on to talk about if you're going to get that upset about calls then you need to scream about how small the hoop is and how the court is too long. IT'S ALL PART OF THE GAME and when you decide to PLAY the game you accept EVERYTHING that goes with it!!!! I've just NEVER understood the whole yelling at ref's. I've also never understood the whole "blame the ref/umpire/line judge - for YOUR problems. If you are SOOO good then you shouldn't even be that close in score that a single call can make or break it. As you can imagine I got a lot of looks from Jack that pretty much said "are you done talking, yet?" :-) But, just like telling him to brush his teeth and not to run in the house - I keep plugging away . :-)
Been having a GREAT time at school. I have a new guided reading group. There's 6 in this group and they're SO talkative! We have the best talks - they really seem to get *into* the books. I'm also in charge of reading to Jack's class each month. I haven't found anything for Feb yet. It needs to be short - but not too short. And preferably something on the subject of what they're doing in school. No pressure.
Between Sal's swimming, hip hop jazzersize, bowling, basketball , social club and Jack's basketball games and practices - I'm always amazed that I'm where I'm supposed to be each day. :-) It just feels extra good when things run smoothly like it has been lately. It's the little things......
Sal got her report card today. She's on 1st honors again. Which in Sally world is all about Celebration of Success. This is kind of a "party" for all the kids who have made honor roll. They have it Friday after school and have a DJ and refreshments and games and just general merriment. :-) THIS is what's most important to Sal. :-)
I had a meeting with her teacher yesterday and we talked about high school. Even though Sal won't go for another year - she wanted to get my feelings about a class called "low incidence". It's basically a life skills class. She'll learn to cook, do laundry, grocery shop, ---- hey - maybe *I* should go. :-)
Swimming last night - Sal's gonna compete in 50 meter free style - which means she'll have to do 2 lengths of the pool. She's pretty excited. God, she loves to swim.
Jack has been in an exceptionally good mood lately. I guess I haven't ruined his life this week. :-) He got his braces off and retainer put in. He's none too happy. He says the retainer is worse than the braces when it comes to eating. He looks so nice, though. No more gap or little narrow ferret face. :-)
We had an interesting basketball game again last weekend. The game before us was FULL of butt-heads lead by a butt-head coach who insisted on being ON the court through most of the 4th quarter and yelling. The ref's had to stop the game several times. There was many heated exchanges between ref and coach. When we get to the games I always let Jack go sit with his coach and team so after these exchanges I headed to where Jack's team was sitting and called him to come sit with me so I could de-program all the drama that was happening. I did my very best "I'm so embarrassed that grown -ups act this way" face and talked over and over about how would he feel if that was Gpa or Uncle Brad or Uncle Mike out there ref'ing. Wouldn't he be angry that someone yelled at them like that. I also went on to talk about if you're going to get that upset about calls then you need to scream about how small the hoop is and how the court is too long. IT'S ALL PART OF THE GAME and when you decide to PLAY the game you accept EVERYTHING that goes with it!!!! I've just NEVER understood the whole yelling at ref's. I've also never understood the whole "blame the ref/umpire/line judge - for YOUR problems. If you are SOOO good then you shouldn't even be that close in score that a single call can make or break it. As you can imagine I got a lot of looks from Jack that pretty much said "are you done talking, yet?" :-) But, just like telling him to brush his teeth and not to run in the house - I keep plugging away . :-)
Been having a GREAT time at school. I have a new guided reading group. There's 6 in this group and they're SO talkative! We have the best talks - they really seem to get *into* the books. I'm also in charge of reading to Jack's class each month. I haven't found anything for Feb yet. It needs to be short - but not too short. And preferably something on the subject of what they're doing in school. No pressure.
Between Sal's swimming, hip hop jazzersize, bowling, basketball , social club and Jack's basketball games and practices - I'm always amazed that I'm where I'm supposed to be each day. :-) It just feels extra good when things run smoothly like it has been lately. It's the little things......
Friday, January 14, 2011
The Games We Play
It's been an exciting week. It started on Saturday morning. Jack had his first basketball game and then Sal had a game. QUITE a trip to watch 8 year old "typical" boys play and then turn and watch a Special Needs game. We should ALL play more like Special Needs.
On Saturday, I saw "typical" children ARGUE with refs (I remind you they're 8!!) At Sal's game they THANK the ref for the call. (it is really cute) I reminded Jack that I had NO shame and would most definitely drag his butt off a court in front of God and everyone if he so much as rolled an eyeball at a ref. :-)
I saw parents SCREAM at "typical" children to do this and do that and "not take that from him". At Sal's game we cheer for BOTH teams because there's nothing better than the smile of a Special Needs child who has made a basket. Let me remind you that MOST of the Special Needs team has some sort of limp or frozen arm or a sensory to noise. So just running is a big deal - heck - if you can dribble - you're pretty much the star of the game. :-)
I saw coaches and parents of the "typical" kids act SO seriously about the game that you would have sworn some one's life depended on it. At Sal's game she asked in the car (after the game) "I win?"
No, I said - you didn't. "Oh, we go to Culver's for lunch?" was the reply. LOVE that. :-)
Now, you tell me - who is more "handicapped". Seems to me we do a disservice to "typical" kids. We put the emphasis on the WRONG things. Games should be a hobby - a pleasure - not LIFE. Games are a way to spend an afternoon. A way to prove to yourself that practice can make you good at something. It shouldn't be a WAY of life. So how do we change things? How do we make it so basketball players earn LESS than our teachers. That our kids DREAM to be policemen and not football players that fight dogs. I guess it begins at home. And poor Jack, he gets to hear his Mom go on and on in lectures about such things. :-)
On Saturday, I saw "typical" children ARGUE with refs (I remind you they're 8!!) At Sal's game they THANK the ref for the call. (it is really cute) I reminded Jack that I had NO shame and would most definitely drag his butt off a court in front of God and everyone if he so much as rolled an eyeball at a ref. :-)
I saw parents SCREAM at "typical" children to do this and do that and "not take that from him". At Sal's game we cheer for BOTH teams because there's nothing better than the smile of a Special Needs child who has made a basket. Let me remind you that MOST of the Special Needs team has some sort of limp or frozen arm or a sensory to noise. So just running is a big deal - heck - if you can dribble - you're pretty much the star of the game. :-)
I saw coaches and parents of the "typical" kids act SO seriously about the game that you would have sworn some one's life depended on it. At Sal's game she asked in the car (after the game) "I win?"
No, I said - you didn't. "Oh, we go to Culver's for lunch?" was the reply. LOVE that. :-)
Now, you tell me - who is more "handicapped". Seems to me we do a disservice to "typical" kids. We put the emphasis on the WRONG things. Games should be a hobby - a pleasure - not LIFE. Games are a way to spend an afternoon. A way to prove to yourself that practice can make you good at something. It shouldn't be a WAY of life. So how do we change things? How do we make it so basketball players earn LESS than our teachers. That our kids DREAM to be policemen and not football players that fight dogs. I guess it begins at home. And poor Jack, he gets to hear his Mom go on and on in lectures about such things. :-)
Monday, January 03, 2011
So This Is Christmas
So Christmas has come and gone for another year. I think my dislike grows each year. My children are still bright lights in the whole ugly holiday.
Bill and I put up the tree this year while they were at school and left all the ornaments - which are mostly theirs that have been given to them through the years. They had the best time getting them all out and putting them up. Jack, is like my Mother and spends time with each ornament talking about where he got it and who gave it to him. Sal just likes to open them and then hands them to someone to put on the tree. :-)
The advent calendar was, as usual, the bane of my existence in December. We do it first thing in the morning - this is the way it started and God forbid you change "tradition". :-) So, this brings them from a sound sleep at the dawn of day - like some internal clock. Then I am at the mercy of whatever evil plan my Mother has concocted. This year's booty went from Push-Pops to guns that shot foam rubber discs. Because nothing says Peace On Earth like a disc to the head. There was also a puzzle with the smallest pieces I've ever seen and when putting it together the boy wondered (out loud) if Grandma had purposely left out a piece because there was one missing that just couldn't be found. (it was later found - under the very chair the boy was sitting in)
Santa was a hit as usual. We tracked him on NORAD . On Christmas Eve (day) we went to Dick and Laurena's and saw that Santa was almost at Dave's house. Dave lives in Singapore now, and it was fun having someone "over there" the kids knew that showed how Santa does it all.
Had a GREAT time at Uncle Dick's. They now have 3 boxers. Peyton, Stewart and now Addison - who, is deaf - and all white - like albino white. Then we added Zoe - Bob's girlfriend's dog to the mix - she's a Pomeranian. They are SO funny to watch. I wonder, though if they've had Addison checked - I mean - Mabel ACTS likes she's deaf too. :-)
The two weeks off were kind of hard on Sal - the lack of set schedule is hard for her and she becomes anxious. Then she talks and talks and asks the same questions over and over and over, it's a vicious circle.
Bill and I put up the tree this year while they were at school and left all the ornaments - which are mostly theirs that have been given to them through the years. They had the best time getting them all out and putting them up. Jack, is like my Mother and spends time with each ornament talking about where he got it and who gave it to him. Sal just likes to open them and then hands them to someone to put on the tree. :-)
The advent calendar was, as usual, the bane of my existence in December. We do it first thing in the morning - this is the way it started and God forbid you change "tradition". :-) So, this brings them from a sound sleep at the dawn of day - like some internal clock. Then I am at the mercy of whatever evil plan my Mother has concocted. This year's booty went from Push-Pops to guns that shot foam rubber discs. Because nothing says Peace On Earth like a disc to the head. There was also a puzzle with the smallest pieces I've ever seen and when putting it together the boy wondered (out loud) if Grandma had purposely left out a piece because there was one missing that just couldn't be found. (it was later found - under the very chair the boy was sitting in)
Santa was a hit as usual. We tracked him on NORAD . On Christmas Eve (day) we went to Dick and Laurena's and saw that Santa was almost at Dave's house. Dave lives in Singapore now, and it was fun having someone "over there" the kids knew that showed how Santa does it all.
Had a GREAT time at Uncle Dick's. They now have 3 boxers. Peyton, Stewart and now Addison - who, is deaf - and all white - like albino white. Then we added Zoe - Bob's girlfriend's dog to the mix - she's a Pomeranian. They are SO funny to watch. I wonder, though if they've had Addison checked - I mean - Mabel ACTS likes she's deaf too. :-)
The two weeks off were kind of hard on Sal - the lack of set schedule is hard for her and she becomes anxious. Then she talks and talks and asks the same questions over and over and over, it's a vicious circle.
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