NOT happy!!

What is it with the *younger* generation? Ok - I know I'm sounding like Gpa now - but dang! Could you all just SHOW up to work? Is that REALLY too much to ask? And why is it that children half my age are ALWAYS sick??? IF that's really true? I mean, give us all a break - the sick thing is getting old. Even if you are sick - at this age you can usually fight it off without a lot of problem. I mean if you can handle a hangover and still party the next night - for God's sake show up to work. Have you no shame? Ok - I'm done ranting. :-) I feel SOOOOO old.

So here I sit. The thing that kind of ticks me off is that you would think I have no life - which in a way I don't ---- BUT there are 2 little people counting on me tonight to help with homework, make dinner, find Yao Ming's picture (we just read a book about him), watch "Naughty Kids" with. It's those 2 that get cheated. Ah, well, par for the course I guess. I hear on the radio that if you actually show up to work for 5 days straight at Burger King you get to be manager. Scary huh?

I think I may have found an answer to S's want of a beach this summer. Seems my nephew can get us over to the Marina and there is a beach there. YAY, Meme. Always good to have family in blue collar jobs! :-) So I'm going to ask my Oct buddies if they can pack up some seashells from the coasts and send them to me. I think Sharon would love this mission. :-) My little Republican candidate. ;-) So maybe it will be a family thing with us and Meme's. There's one checkmark off my list for the summer. S has a whole list of stuff she wants to do. Camping is on there too - but that's another thing we'll probably do back home too. At least at first - see how she really does and then we'll know if we can trek out or not.

Wow, it's been a doozie here lately. We've been trying to go out since Valentine's and between just not having the time and not having a babysitter it just hasn't happened. Of course the weather hasn't helped either. More snow yesterday. B is on jury duty so he's been excused from snow call out. I have to admit that's nice.

S is going though this phase where she calls me Mom and my last name. It's starting to grate on my nerves a little. J is starting to really get intolerant of S's "quirks" - esp the echoic. I can understand that. I'm going to start the book I got this weekend. Figure we'll do the whole family tree thing and what we're good at on Friday night and then while S is gone to Social Club I can do the Autism stuff with J. I'm hoping he responds well. I want him to know - but I don't. He pushes her so well without knowing it but then again I wouldn't mind him knowing why I don't help *him* as much. I've always tried to do for him what I do for her --- IF he asks - but it's a strain.

He's been out of sorts lately too. Maybe he is getting it that his family is so very different. I don't know - I'm just hoping to explain to him that all of his feelings are OK - even when he's feeling that life isn't fair. But that he also needs to see the beauty in S too. Lord, give me the strength and wisdom.

So on a lighter note. Market Day yesterday. Pretty much dropped the ball and we still pulled in over a hundred dollars. I forget how crazy tax season gets and that I have to really plan ahead even more than normal. Can I just say that I SO identify with Kate. ;-) Mr F met me at the door and was all gung ho to unload the truck. I explained that we couldn't do anything till the rep got there. But again he came in and told the driver he was ready to help him. The driver told him the same thing I had said. But as I'm lugging out the lunch tables and setting them up - he disappears! :-) We gave him the business about that. He's really a good guy.

Need to write to Rachel and ask about HB Island. I'm kind of hoping that our two families can do that this summer. Also need to ask her about their plans for the fair. I enjoy going to the fair with Todd because it's just like going to a Village function with B. I never have to worry about parking (the cow barn) or about where we're sitting or anything like that. The only thing is the kids get ansy if (when) we stop to talk to someone. (which is about every 2 feet) Rachel and I had a blast talking on the way there last year. But I think the best part was watching Todd "tap" in the wood from his trailer. That and sitting in the stands and SEEING the trailer. Need to do some planning so we can do all the things we want to.

Can't believe Feb is almost over. Still haven't done our taxes. Well, I've done the input - but still have to ask some things about Special Needs Trust and also J's SSN that seems to be already used again. :-/ NOT looking forward to straightening THAT out. I should prob make sure it's copied right from the actual card.

SO many things to do - not to mention all the appointments that need to be made. One nice thing - the dentist is coming to the school and even though it's not going to make up for our reg check up - at least they will have their teeth cleaned and that way I can wait till summer for check ups. J esp needs to have some xrays done and make sure all of those teeth are where they're supposed to be.

When will we EVER *get* it???????????

The following letter was written to "Big Brother" (the TV 'reality' show) on behalf of the Autism community. Peronally *I* find offense at the letter. Ummmm People, WORDS DON'T HURT!!!! And if that is the WORST thing that you've been called (and no one was really ever "called" this) well, then - consider yourself blessed.

Do I care for the word? NO. But it's a WORD. Not a sword. People who "get it" are going to understand - no matter what the word da jur' is. And people who are ignorant will prob remain that way. We want so much tollerence for our chilren - well, to get you MUST give. Having someone fired and the show taken off the air (not that we ALL wouldn't benifit from some "de-programing of a LOT of things on TV) will NOT make your child better. It will NOT find funding for research, it will NOT teach others about it.

Lord, will we EVER get over ourselves??????



Laurie writes:
I hope this is ok with everyone, I did this on the fly this morning because I'm on the run today. Someone had sent me this A-Champ online letter writing link and so I sent one in on behalf of ACC. I figured we would pretty much all agree that having someone on national television refer to a person with ASD as a 'retard' was unacceptable. Here's the form letter, I didn't take the time to customize it, this was what the A-Champ folks put together and it went to several CBS execs and producers of the show:Laurie Jerue3104 Treesdale CourtNaperville, IL 60564-4609February 19, 2008Sumner RedstoneRe: Demand an apology from CBSDear Mr. Redstone:We are writing to express our dismay and disgust at comments that were made by Adam Jasinski during the broadcast of "Big Brother" program. In episode 2, Jasinsiki describes his plans to open a hair styling business catering to people with autism who he refers to as "retards."Just as we are confident that CBS would not tolerate the use derogatory epithets regarding race, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation we hope that the use of derogatory terms for people with disabilities in also unacceptable in your programming.We believe Jasinski's should be terminated immediately, and we believe that the show should be cancelled. Further, we expect an apology to people with autism, developmental disabilities and their families from Jasinski, Big Brother, CBS and National Amusements. While Jasinski's displayed gross ignorance, the producers of the show chose to use his comments to forward the show's storyline. This displays a conscious choice on their part to demean and hurt a large group of people to further their own commercial goals.While a large number of people with autism do have mental retardation, a very large portion do not and they are perfectly capable of understanding that they have been denigrated in an extremely demeaning way by a program broadcast for profit by CBS.Family members of people with autism, especially parents, are constantly challenged by the great deal of misinformation surrounding autism. Broadcasts such as Big Brother makes caring for a family member with autism all that more difficult.It is appropriate I believe to note that the Holocaust began with the extermination of developmentally disabled children in a secret program called Aktion T-4. The techniques, organization and personnel for Aktion T-4 went directly to run the extermination camps at Treblinka, Sobibor and others. All extermination campaigns begin with the de-humanization of the target group. And referring to developmental disabled people and people with autism as "retards" indeed fails to recognize the humanity of people with these disorders.Sincerely,Laurie Jerue, President, Autism Community Connection, a 600+ member parent support group in Naperville Illinois__._,_.___

She has the ESP n

Ok there has been some more spooky things going on with our gal S:

1. A couple of weeks ago as I was getting dressed I was feeling very uneasy about the outfit I had chose for the day. But you know how it goes in the morning - there's really no time to dress and re-dress so I put it on and decided "good enough". S was NOT around me when this happened. In fact she was in her own room playing People. When I went in to get her dressed she looked up and said "That looks good, Mom - you look pretty today." She NEVER talks like that. *Maybe* after *I* compliment her she may throw me a bone - but NEVER on her own.

2. Pasta Bingo night last Friday. I came in late (due to work) she met me and told me "I'm going to win Bingo and get Moon Sand". Sure enough - it wasn't 5 minutes later that she called Bingo and promptly walked up to the prize table and got her Moon Sand.

3. Saturday morning I had to work. B and I had worked it out that him and S would drop off J at TKD and then prob go to Mickey D's. I had *kind of* told S that she and Dad would be going to get something to eat. NOT known to me - B had been THINKING in the shower that he and S would maybe go to Wally World because he needed new pants. Again - not even telling me, they dropped of J and as they were heading down the road he aked her "S, would you like to go to McDonalds or Wal-Mart?"
Her reply was "Wal-Mart, Daddy because you need new pants." !!!!!!!! *I* do the man's laundry and *I* didn't think he needed new pants!!!!

She just makes my day sometimes!!!!

Have you hugged a Huskie today?

School shooting at NIU yesterday. Can I just say how much my heart hurts for all of these kids. It's SO sad to know that all of these kids have had to grow up (not to mention the little ones following) with this kind of "knowledge" that this "could" happen. It's just SO SO sad. There's just TOO much CRAZINESS in this world!!!!

My heart and thoughts go out to everyone effected directly and all of us effected indirectly. Hopefully VTech and NIU and ALL of us can join together and heal ourselves so this may never happen again!!!

Look Out World...

....... I've been thinking. On the "drive" into work today I started thinking about how MUCH paper we get from school. This in turn started my thoughts of how as we advace technically and go to a more computerized world we use MORE paper. Like, remember how we didn't use paper wastefully at school when I was little - and then go back to my Grandma when they used slate??? The slate thing got me to think about how difficult it would be to get first graders to copy problems down on paper let alone slate and then I started to think about how much LESS we are progressing in that area then - say - the "slate days". THIS then started my mind to go to Autism in the "slate days". I then looked at the facts that Autism is more a social problem. S and others do have learning problems too - along with physical (motor skills and such) but we mainly focus on social. In the slate days we weren't THAT social. Think about it - you walked to school - where you LEARNED - you had recess - but other than that - not a lot of socialness, your parents didn't see other parents till Sundays or maybe if they went to town to sell something - but there just wasn't the "networking" that we have today. So Autism was almost a way of life in some ways.

I think of Little House on the Prarie and remember that episode where there was that Buzbee character who was "slow" but he was taught life skills - farming, fixing - stuff like that. See, S would be FINE in "those" days. Maybe she'd be determined "slow" but she would "make" it.

Ok - now think about this. In "those" days I wouldn't be SO afraid of dying - because even though they lived VERY far apart from each other and didn't see or correspond with each other daily they did "see" to each other in times of trouble. They "helped each other out". Now, we are at each other's doorstep in an instant - what with phone, email, airplane, car and yet we're farther apart then we used to be. Think about that for a moment.......

So what sums this up? Oh, heck. I don't know. Just my crazy train going around in my mind with the conductor downing a 5th of gin. :-)

What is it with Teachers??

They do nothing but think of homework. :-) I got homework at my last PBIS meeting! I mean a whole 3 ring binder of stuff to read and then report your opinion. I thought I was too old for homework! S and J LOVE this idea and found it extremely funny that Mommy had to sit down and read last night along with them, instead of to them. :-)

Last night we had to count out and bag 100 things to add to a class snack mix. J chose Goldfish. I should have bought stock in those things in the early days of S. Who knew that 10 years later we'd still have them as a staple.

B was out at midnight last night. J came in my room sometime around 3 a.m. and I just let him stay. S joined us around 5. Saide and Rex have a vested interest in this too - more room for them - until the kids show up.

All kinds of new things at work today. New cordless mouse, air cond/fan (port). LOVE the mouse. Took me a couple of times to get used to how FAST it is. Thinking seriously of getting one (or 2) for home.

Had a long talk with the boy last night at swimming. Kind of got him talked into taking lessons again if he can start back another class. I should have seen that coming. He just isn't all that into the laps that have to be done - and like his mother - his "crawl" could really use some work. He didn't seem to have any problems with him maybe being the biggest kid in the class and *I* surely don't. I really wish I would have been held back a couple of times. I think freestyle would have come MUCH easier. I think - once again- we (as a society) can't handle holding someone back and so if they even have the faintest clue - they go to the next level. I really think it wouldn't be a bad idea if there was a manditory two years at every level. I think the confidence and skills would soar. But what do I know. ;-)

I've signed S up for a cooking project thing (it's tech name) that comes to the house every month. I thought it would kind of force my hand. Dang - why does having children MAKE you do the stuff you really HATE doing. I just cringed when she announced that she'd love to help me cook. Ugghhh - why, why?????? That's like saying - "Mom, I'd love to own a mouse". Ok - maybe not THAT bad - but it's a close second. The next thing you know, they'll decide they hate to read - and that will tear my heart out.

The Perfect Book by Steve Seskin & Allen Shamblin

Don't Laugh at Me

I'm a little boy with glasses,
the one they call a geek.

A little girl who never smiles
'cause I've got braces on my teeth.
And *I* know how it feels to cry myself to sleep.

I'm the kid on every playground
who's always chosen last.

I'm the one who's slower
than the other's in my class.
You don't hae to be my friend,
but is it too much to ask?

Don't Laugh At Me

I'm the beggar on the corner.
You've passed me on the street.
I wouldn't be out here beggin'
if I had enough to eat.
Don't think I don't notice
that our eyes never meet.

I was born a little different.
I do my dreaming from a chair.
I pretend it doesn't hurt me
when people point and stare.
There's a simple way to show me
just how much you care.

Don't laugh at me.
Don't call me names.
Don't get your pleasure from my pain.
In God's eyes we're all the same.

Some day we'll ALL
have perfect wings.

Don't Laugh At Me!

I'm fat
I'm thin,
I'm short
I'm tall
I'm deaf
I'm blind.

Hey, aren't we all???

Ok - I love em' and all... BUT....

If I'm home with them alone once more this week - well, *someone's* NOT going to be happy! Ughhh-- it's snowing again and B's out till midnight. I HATE that. I was home with *them* yesterday and then all night alone - AND swimming. I'm running on empty lately. I *finally* get caught up with household things - not to mention a "new and improved" chore list - and here we go again. Not to mention things at work.

Tax season help is NEVER from here - so bad roads mean - late help or no help at all. It's beginning to be that "crazy" time of year. Gotta love February.

J's report card was VERY good. In fact - a little spooky. They were all taken to the library and they had to read (not to his teacher ) for one minute. The correct words were then counted and they sent home a graph of where J landed in accordance with all the 1st graders ---- he's OFF the charts. The average was 20 something --- he's in the 70s!!!! I just never guessed he'd be THAT far up. Granted it was only the 2nd quarter so the other's will prob get closer by spring - but still..... He DID get one "below standards" and guess what in......... writing. Not surprising at all - because it's about *sloooooowwwwiiinnnnnggggg doooooowwwwwnnnnnn*. :-) But in other things he came up - like the important stuff - grades I feel can always be "learned". I focus on the number parts: "Pays attention in class, follows directions". Stuff like that. He was all proud that he got a 4 (the highest) in "Participates in class discussions". I tried to explain that *that* catagory really didn't count - since it was already hot wired into his DNA. :-) He's been a trip lately. All this "you hate me" crap and "my homework is too hard" "I don't like to write".... blah, blah, blah - just call him GW Bush Jr.

S on the other hand, is doing well. Thank God, they don't act up together. I think they hold meetings about whose turn it is. And lately Sade seems to be in on the meetings. I swear - I'm up and going all night and the minute I sit down (after getting them to bed and all) and have one minute to myself- she barks with this "tone" to be let out. Ugghhh. So as I was saying - S is doing well. BUT if we have anymore snow days that may change. She is NOT a fan of days off. The first time it happened I had not even prepared her for it with a "there may be no school tomorrow" so she was ticked. I had her call my Mom to kind of take the focus off that: "Grandma," she immeadately whined when the phone was picked up, "there's no school. I no go school!" In that "drama" voice of hers almost like she was "telling on me". It was comical.

Can't believe it's February already. Signed them up for swimming again - well, not J. He decided he didn't want to. I intend for "natural consequences" to make a mark on this one. He went last night and had to do his homework while they all swam. I think on Thurs he'll have to go and just watch. Hopefully between the heat and the boredom he'll see the error in his ways. :-) But you know him - if I pressure him - he'll NEVER go beyond his level. Dang he's exhausting.

I LOVE my truck!

We have received about 8 inches of snow this week - really in the last day. But never fear - my truck handles it SO well!!!! I just love that beast in the Winter. Almost makes up for the "not playing well with other vehicles". :-)

S is gone to Social Club today. I'm SO excited to see what she thinks. It's all special needs kids. They went into the city to see High School Musical on Ice. I will be very interested to hear what she thinks.