4 Daves

A Weekend to top ALL Weekends

2011-12-04T18:23:00.001-06:00

Well, it's been a weekend to remember. Sal got her period on Saturday. Nature sure has a wicked sense of humor. How does one who STILL has problems in the toilet and has accidents still (at 14) get a period? I mean it's something she will NEVER use.

She thought she had pooped her pants and when I told her no, she had her period she began to cry. "I don't want my period". She said it so matter-of-factly, like she could *will* it away. She was ok - because we were soon on our way to a Holiday Fest with the Fox critters. :-)

Sal did her usual Obi One "use the force" thing on Friday night. She was getting ready to go to the Jr High Winter Carnival and told me "I'm going to win a fish tonight".

Sure enough, she came home all smiles with her chubby little hand holding on to a plastic bag with a tiny goldfish in it. She reported that she had played buckets, bingo, soccer, and wrestling. I was curious about the wrestling and when I questioned her further she told me she had beat a boy. :-) (poor boy).

After our fun with the Foxes we came home and Sal had to immediately leave for caroling with the Special Needs kids. If you know how Sal sings - it should have been a *lovely* performance. :-) The saving grace is that they caroled at the Nursing Home - so maybe the hard of hearing escaped Sal's melodious voice. And God knows everyone is melted by that smile of hers. ;-)

Mrs E stopped by in the afternoon - totally shocked me. She's Sal's social worker and big part of our team. She had run into Bill in the morning and he had told her of Sal's new found "womanhood" and so she came by with a little giftie for Sal. She also called Mrs P - team leader and shared with her. They were both so excited. Isn't that nice? I don't know what it is but we have ALWAYS had the very BEST teachers and team though Valley View. I swear - it's like the Sal is not only mine but the whole community's. SO many people care about her and go out of the way to show it. Really made my day.

So the day I've been dreading for about 2 years is finally here and over. I'll be going to see Dr L about putting Sal on the pill or shot or what ever. My Oct List told me of shots every 3 months in which you don't have a period at all. I'll also be inquiring at what age we could think of hysterectomy.

Sal has done really well. We have just one more hurdle - we swim tomorrow, so we'll see just how bad things are "down there" and *if* we can swim. :-/ If we have to cancel THAT - she may be ready to do the harricarry. :-)

It's that time again.....

2011-11-28T07:52:00.001-06:00

Oh, how I love Christmastime. And by Christmastime I do mean the days between November 1 and January 1.   :-/ Gotta love all the Christians whose only problem is that someone dare tell them that there were actually others in the Country who - God forbid - celebrate something other than Christmas! There is SO much wrong with this I can't even count: First - if you're really Christian - which means you try and live as Christ lived - you wouldn't get SO upset about something SO trivial. Christ was nothing if not tolerant of others' feelings. Christ was at the base someone who despised material goods so to honor his birthday with material goods seems well, un-Christlike. The "Christmas" tree was actually brought into the whole Christmas celebration to INCLUDE the pagans who decorated trees at Solstice. Since we have now started celebrating Christmas for more days than just the 25th - I see it as perfectly normal to say "Happy Holidays" because there are MANY days in there! Oh and as far as someone being UN American if they don't celebrate Christmas -

"The first century of colonial life saw few set times and days for pleasure. The holy days of the English Church were as a stench to the Puritan nostrils, and their public celebration was at once rigidly forbidden by the laws of New England. New holidays were not quickly evolved, and the sober gatherings for matters of Church and State for a time took their place. The hatred of "wanton Bacchanallian Christmasses" spent throughout England, as Cotton said, in "revelling, dicing, carding, masking, mumming, consumed in compotations, in interludes, in excess of wine, in mad mirth," was the natural reaction of intelligent and thoughtful minds against the excesses of a festival which had ceased to be a Christian holiday, but was dominated by a lord of misrule who did not hesitate to invade the churches in time of service, in his noisy revels and sports. English Churchmen long ago revolted also against such Christmas observance.
Of the first Pilgrim Christmas we know but little, save that it was spent, as was many a later one, in work."

The whole "season" makes me so very depressed. All the hype, all the running around, all the mandatory happiness. Oh, and if you DARE voice your dislike of this most wondrous (made-up) holiday - you would be best to disrobe and take your lashings like a man. :-)

And so it starts - I try and hide my disdain from my children at least - this IS the greatest holiday for children. But I certainly don't go overboard and try very hard to instill in them some sense of tolerance and that there is in fact OTHER people in the world who don't march in lock-step and actually celebrate other beliefs AND that those people actually have VALUE!   I did get to see last night that my actions are not all in vein when Jack reminded me of a song that one of my friends (a Jahew - gasp) sent to me and I shared with Jack.   He told me he got to learn that song on the guitar and I was proud - maybe MY kids will be at peace with Christmas, there's always hope.

Cops: Bolingbrook Flag Football

2011-10-08T16:47:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's right - Cops make an appearance at Jack's football game today. Ughhh. "Grown Ups" - the name is HIGHLY subjective! Just makes me sick. Here's the scoop. We're undefeated. In fact today is the only day any team has even scored on us.

At the end of the game the other coach thought he still had time to call time out - he did - I don't think the ref saw it - who knows. In the big scheme it really doesn't matter because we ahead more than one touchdown. But this guy is screaming about it and the ref's go off the field - our coach is trying to talk the guy off the ledge - because after all this is a LIFE or DEATH matter right????!!!

One of the board members comes over (a woman no less) and he screams at her and says something that makes her throw up her hands - give him that "oh no you didn't " pointy finger and she heads off the field to her golf-cart and drives off. A few minutes later she returns with more board members and at that time practically the all of the bleachers descend to the field and start yelling at this one guy who is the board pres. All while our kids are watching, their kids are watching AND the next two teams have started to take the field already!!!!

I grabbed my kids and left just as I saw a policeman grab the other team's coach as he was running the board pres off the field. God only knows what happened then. It's very sad when your 10 year old son has more common sense than the other adults around you.

Adults really ruin sports for children. I'm so ashamed of us as a whole.

Looking Forward to Less

2011-10-02T09:15:00.002-05:00

The weekend's pretty much over and we survived! :-) So, the family event: we met the most AWESOME couple. It never fails - total strangers are so much nicer and at ease with Sal than people who have known her since birth. Granted the woman was a speech therapist. I swear Special Needs people have a 6th sense about Special Needs kids. We had a GREAT time!

Went to the Shag afterwards and as I sat around the fire and laughed my butt off after being greeted with cheers and hugs I realized that it's true - family is who you include in your lives. Those who don't care to take the time for you don't need to be mourned for. It's their choice and they're welcome to it.

I've done some real soul-searching and Bill and I have had some great talks and I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. :-)

The Week

2011-09-30T10:29:00.000-05:00

HOPELights

I am a parent of a child with special needs. My life isn't glamorous and it is full of hard work everyday. I go weeks before I realize I need a break. But in the end, the gifts of joy I receive with just an inch of progress - are quite extraordinary and in these moments I know we can do anything.

Boy, ain't this the truth. It's been a week of up and down. We've been invited to a family event this weekend and it was pretty much said that Sal wasn't welcome. I have to admit - it stings. Since I've had time to deal with this - I'm a little less "hot" than I was when the info first came down the pipe.

Bill says we're taking her any way. The thing is - we have NO sitter for her. Let me tell you the last time we had a weekend or even a night away from her: When I went to the hospital and had Jack. :-)

The way *I* feel about it : Sal is a very special spirit. You are *privileged* to be part of her life. Soooo - when you're a butt-munch you don't get the privilege of being in her life - period. Not when it's convenient for you - not when there's no one around - never. But I've been out-voted. At least in this case.

I broke down the other night and really BAWLED. I think it wasn't only this situation but just the climax of a really weird week. Sal had several really good days at school and then of course brought the whole thing down with a really NASTY day. Ugghh. It's just tiring - the whole up and down - so low and then so high.

Jack is going to a sib shop tomorrow. It's where kids get together to talk and do stuff and the one thing they have in common: they're all siblings of Special Needs kids.

We also met Sal's teachers for next year. They had Best Buddies fundraiser night at Culvers and we went - Sal will be getting a Best Buddy next year - and Jim (the owner of Culvers) introduced us to the teachers. They had heard of Sal. :-) It's always amazing to me how total strangers are so much more involved in her life than family. I think that's what kind of brought me "up".

So, we'll see how things go. I'm looking forward to Monday and the end of this weekend. :-)

3 Year Evaluation

2011-09-27T12:43:00.000-05:00

Meeting at Sal's school today. Sal was invited. By law, she's supposed to be there - I'm still not real sure how I feel about that. It went well, though. Lots of tests will be done between now and Dec. In November we (Bill, Sal and myself) will go to the High School and look at the program (low incidence) Sal will be in. Then we meet with Jr High again to discuss test results and what we thought of the High School program and then we all meet with High School in January to plan the rest of Sal's school career.
    Where the hell did all the time go?????
Sal's at a 1st grade level in reading - prob at a higher level in understanding when read to. She can do ALL the skills in Math - as long as she has a calculator. It will be tricky to get true results when it comes to the testing. Sal doesn't test well. :-/

     Then we come to the other end of the spectrum. Jack did very well on his ISAT last year. He scored above the rest of his school, the district and the state. He would be classified as an above average student. I tried to explain that what that meant was he needs to be getting straight A's - no B's. :-)
    He's also loving school. Being a 5th grader he gets a lot more responsibility this year. He's a patrol and now he gets to go to school early so he can help with PBIS things.

   I have to say it's very refreshing to have children who really love school. Both of them have decided that they want flu shots this year so they don't miss school. :-) (Sal didn't really get a choice since she is SO anti-no school. ) :-)

    I'm still amazed at her team. They love her so much. It's so nice to work with the same people year after year. They all go so above and beyond their duty AND they have the patience of Job.   They all had Sally stories to share. She really makes their day (some days) :-)

    Still trying to get the house in shape and get some kind of routine down for me - but I've pretty much accepted that I am to be a stay-at-home-Mom for now. I think the improvement of the children has something to do with me at home, also. Or at least that's what I tell myself. :-)

Jack Jack Jack

2011-09-24T19:59:00.000-05:00

Jack had football games on Thurs night and then again this morning. I came out thinking a couple things. 1. Adults are idiots. 2. Jack has a bad attitude. The second I'm working on resolving. :-)
     Jack showed his a$$ today. Pure and simple. He's been running with the big dogs lately and he's picked up some less than nice habits. He threw got a shove on the line this morning - got upset because there was no call - started crying - and then threw a fit on the sidelines. After I saw him (40 yards away) talk with his hands to the coach (he was back talking - you know the motions) I calmly walked over, stood next to him and quietly but firmly told him just what to look forward to if I ever saw him do that again. Warning given. I swear that boy will be the death of me - or at least jail for me. :-)
     When we got home I told him to go to his room and get comfortable - I needed to talk to him. He's got a good heart - he really does. He just doesn't always apply good judgement. And EVERYTHING is a huge deal to him. Which......well, is not all bad. He's ALWAYS thrilled with stuff - the littlest things make his day - but the littlest things also ruin his day. Or ruin his minute. :-)   I don't know, how do you tame that but not break that spirit?! I did my best to explain that NO feeling was wrong, or bad, or unjust - it was the ACTION that he chose that was wrong. I explained that NONE of us are always in agreement with people who are in charge (ie: coach, boss, etc). We suck it up - do our best and come home and bitch. I welcomed him to come to me and bitch anytime and that would listen. I also explained that the things that he was in like sports and such were a privilege. That Sal and Dad and I were more than happy to sleep in on a Saturday instead of hauling our behinds out to a football field to watch him throw a fit. I think I got my point across. God knows I'll have to repeat myself - but I don't think he'll do the back talk thing again - at least not to the coach. :-)

Now about adults. Same as always - always screaming at kids from the sidelines. They all scream different things and they all scream abstract things. "Hold the line".   Really? Kids don't get that. Kids are pragmatic. You have to say "put your arms up and block number such and such - make sure he can't get from point a to point b." And the thing is all that talk that adults do turns kids off. Don't we remember? How stupid other adults sounded when we were that age? I mean I'm all for cheers and a good "Come On Broncos" But the absurdly stupid directions that are screamed every game by all the other parents that don't have time to coach but have plenty of time to stand on the sidelines and second guess. ugghhh.
    Then of course, there's the other team. We have a girl on our team. 1 She's good. 2 She's smart 3 She's tough and 4 She's really very pretty and slender. All this makes the other team's fathers nuts. God forbid their precious baby boys get thrown around by our girl. :-)   God forbid they get shown up and out "footballed" by this chick. And the best part about this girl: She gets on Jack's butt and makes him play better. I think she can see he does have some talent - he just has no Umpfff and he doesn't apply himself well. I love to watch her play.   ---- Oh, and her brother - he can throw! 60+ yard bullets are no problem for this kid. Needless to say - we haven't been beaten and by halftime we always have to hold back on rushing and passing (slaughter rules).   It's a very interesting season. :-)
     Sal and I sit in our lawn chairs and watch. Well, I watch. Sal always brings something to play with. The other day she forgot and was happy to play with a package of wet wipes, a key chain, a granola bar and a paperclip. All these items were in gym class and were playing softball. :-)   For someone who is SO concrete in her thinking she sure has an imagination. She does really well when she's not constrained and doesn't have to be totally quiet. It's the total quiet thing that really gets her. :-)

Ancestors

2011-09-21T20:39:00.000-05:00

Oh, the things I'll do to get out of housework. :-) Yes, I've gotten on to ancestry.com and have pretty much instantly become addicted. I had a lot of my people and dates from my Mom. When I called her to tell her I had discovered we were related to Mary Todd Lincoln (on my Dad's side) she told me she already knew! So was it an aunt or a step-sister of Mary's? Oh, well, she didn't know - when a person married in to the family she didn't research their lineage. Ugghh. So, I'm still researching. It is a lot of fun and before you know it the morning is gone. :-)
    Found the prison record for my grandfather. He seemed to think it was no big deal to be married to two people - neither of them knew. :-) I knew that - the whole family does - hence he was never in my Dad's life. But it was still wild to see the prison record.
   Bill's family is a little harder. Like a lot of them they used the same name over and over with little detail as to who was Sr and who was Jr - so with no dates either - it was a little difficult to decipher who is who - not to mention they came over pretty recently. His Mom's parents had children almost every year they were married for a while. Granted some died- but still - pumping out a baby every year...dang.
    So, we've started the guided reading here, at home, now. Jack and I are reading "Bone Chillers". It occurred to me this evening that my job is to produce a man who can make a living and hopefully have a decent heart that he sees to his sister.   Now, don't worry - I've got trusts in place for when he isn't so "decent". :-)   We play football tomorrow. Jack's team is 4-0. He insists that I do NOT was his socks. That's evidently where the "luck" is . ;-)
   He's having a tough time of it with the crying and slacking off at practice. The whole team was behind him at the first cry - but now they've seen though it and have pretty much made fun of him the last time. He's got to work that one out himself. I don't have much to tell him that I haven't already. That child has NEVER made sense. I swear he cries for the attention - even though he's not getting any. It was the same when he was a baby - screamed every time he was put in a car seat. Now, if only once I had let him not sit in a car seat I could see that he would keep up the fit - but never, never did he go without a car seat - still he threw a fit each time. I guess one thing you can count on is that Jack is always going to be a tough one to figure out. :-)
My schedule for tomorrow is get Sal from Lego club at 3:50 - take her to bowling bus by 4 - get Jack to his game by 5:15 and pick up Sal from the bowling bus at 6! :-) Oh, it's a fun life! :-)

Finally!

2011-09-20T20:30:00.000-05:00

I'm finally back to writing. :-)
     So, I've been scrap booking lately. I was up to 2010 and got that year done - then had to go back to 1998 and keep going backwards. DEPRESSING! It's so hard to look at Sal at those ages when she was so little and we didn't know the whole depth of her disability.
     I admit - I've been in a real funk lately. Well, the whole year really. I just can't seem to shake it and I'm not real sure why. Maybe it's the teen thing that's going on with Sal. Yes, I'm getting the "normal" teenage attitude (to a degree) and her behavior is getting harder and harder to handle. Maybe it's the whole stay-at-home-Mom thing. God knows I stink at it - well the housewife part. But, slowly but surely, right?
    Maybe it's the getting older thing. It's so crazy to see and hear about all the kids I've known over the years and how they're all growing up so fast. I don't know how - *I'm* not getting any older. :-)
    Just a bunch of crap going on in my life and yet it's kind of blah too. Lord, who knows.

Life goes on so bleck and then out of nowhere you're cheered

2011-06-28T19:48:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while. Truth is - I've been in grief. Same old grief - loss of my child. I know I've explained the whole wade into the water thing - I know it's hard to understand probably - but sometimes the anger and sadness and worry join forces and get to you for a long time. There's been a LOT to be happy about - and I am - but I've been down too and it got the best of me. I'll go into Sal's gold, Jack's baseball, School being out, and more Mabel stuff - but today really needed to be put down in writing.

Sally came home from school with this piece of paper:

It's hard to see - her aide writes what she says in highlighter and then Sal traces with pencil. Here's what it says: Someone I think is a champion is my mom. She cooks dinner. She watch tv with me. Wash the dishes. Take me to camp.

Ok - I BAWLED at this. Here's the thing. You don't get a lot of feely stuff from Sal. It's even hard to see her as having feelings sometimes - she's so very pragmatic. Sally also always chooses Jack as her topic of conversation, papers - you name it - it's always Jack. For her to come up with this about ME - well, it's huge to me. I want to frame this. :-) It really snapped me out of my funk. Made me realize that she DOES care about the things I do.

NOT for the PETA Crowd

2011-05-02T16:33:00.000-05:00

The following story is humorous but in a very dark way. If you at all feel upset about an animals' death - skip to another post. I just wanted to get this down because it kind of demonstrates the dark humor that surrounds my family.

RIP Tiny

Tiny is my sister's St Bernard. He ways a good 130-150 pounds. He is QUITE a character. Tiny loves to "go visiting"...... BUT - he will only go if he is accompanied by a cat AND he will only go if it is not too hot. I kid you not. The dog has been found a good 10 miles away and EVERY time he is picked up by my sister, my Dad, my sister's friends, he has a cat with him. If the cat is Miss Kitty she will let you pick he up and put her in your vehicle - where she will MEOW very loudly her displeasure of riding. If the cat is Ferocious you will not be able to get close to her and she will eventually find her way back to my sister's house.

Tiny was having seizures and not the mild shaking and then ok for a day or so - it was convulsions and they repeated even in the same afternoon. This was my sister's dilemma:   1. Getting him to the vet. 2. Money for the treatment - which we all know never really brings them to where they were before the seizures - and that was IF they could find a cure. 3. If she did get him to the vet and they couldn't do anything for him they would want to put him down and how do you get the body back to your house - because she didn't have money to cremate him. My sister LOVES her animals - probably more than she does her own kids. (if you know her kids - you'll understand that one) :-) I know she agonized over this decision. She finally called her son to come and shoot Tiny.

She made the call - it was a Saturday morning. She went out to dig the grave. Now, Tiny usually never wants to "hang" with people. I mean - he'll come over for a treat or to be petted but then he's usually content to lay in the garage. (cool concrete).   Not that morning. He laid RIGHT by the hole as she dug. Her son came out to the farm and helped with the digging. Tiny then has a seizure. He falls INTO the grave!   They have to wait to finish till he stops and then they have to help him OUT of the grave. (they want to bury him deep enough that other animals don't get to him) As they dig a little deeper they run into Harley (a German Shepard she had that had got run over). My sister lives on a 20 acre farm!!! What are the chances you would dig exactly in the same spot! They finally finish and she goes in the house while her son puts Tiny down.   It was a very sad day and an agonizing decision - we've all been there - trying to decide what one should do. When an animal lives outside and is as big as that guy they have to be healthy. His life would have been very miserable. The story, though is priceless. My sister always jokes that she's the kind that will survive the airplane crash but get run over by the ambulance when it arrives at the crash. ;-)

Death is a big part of life on the farm. From cats dragging animals home as presents to the dogs bringing home GIANT bones from the cows next door to her. Not to mention the whole slaughter thing that we, as "country kids" were all too familiar with. We all knew that meat didn't come in those pretty pink saran wrapped packages.  My mother was a great one to serve cow tongue that still looked like tongue. She didn't see the need to disguise it - it is what it is.

It's been my experience, growing up in a small community, that you have rather high odds of dying of old age. Things are changing as they always do - but for the most part death is still very referent. It is seen as a peaceful end to this very hard life. It is mostly seen as a blessing because for the most part the mind gives out before that body does or vice-versa. Seldom do they give out at the same time.

Maybe that's why I'm not that jubilant about Osama's death. I don't see it as justice. And I certainly don't get the shouts of joy over it. I feel very worried and a little nervous as to what will happen now or who will become the new target and the fact that now there is but another country where we will always have troops.
Well, unlike Bin Laden, Tiny will be missed. He always had that "duh, duh duh" air about him.   And of course whenever you can put your arm out your drivers window and pet a dog - that makes a memory.
:-)

Had a Nice Keaster!

2011-05-01T19:04:00.000-05:00

Sal and I took the train from Naperville to Macomb on Good Friday. Gpa and Gma picked us up and took us to lunch and then took us out to Aunt Jill's. The ride was really nice. Sal and I even slept a little. :-)   Since the tracks don't run anywhere near the road - I was kind of lost until we got to Galesburg and then I was a little more familiar to where at least in the state we were. :-)

Sal and I highlighted the IL map we had with us and pretty much were able to pinpoint Aunt Jill's house. Mostly because she lives ON the Hancock/Adams County border. :-)

When we got to Aunt Jill's we then got to go pick up Uncle Mike from the Nursing home. I stayed behind to make the Dirty Pudding (a family favorite - right Mick).   Did I happen to mention that my sister still has her Christmas Tree up???? Now most of us have to re-arrange furniture when we put up the tree - but she doesn't - hardly even takes up any kind of space at all in her HUGE living room. Soooooo - when she came back she asked me to take it down. UGHHH! I HATE taking down MY tree - let alone someone else's. My answer was - Heck, we've come this far with it up - what's 7 more months?? No dice. So with Uncle Mike "supervising" (I now know why God decided to throw him from the roof) (JUST KIDDING)... Sal and I got it down and upstairs to her storage room.

That night (Good Friday) we had her kids (Mick and Brad) and their families - with Mick's new family - which includes two 8 year old twin boys. We had 7 kids coloring 9 dozen eggs that night. :-) They had a BALL! They got along SO well. Mick's fiance' Trish brought her Mom and Dad and my Mom and Dad came out for dinner so we had a really nice time. Trish's family is very nice and gets my family's humor - which speaks to their mental illness. :-)

Bill and Jack were missed. They had opening day for Little League on Saturday. We found out later that they won the game. But Sal and I had a much better time that Saturday (in my opinion). My Aunt Jill and Uncle Mike had to go to the funeral home to make arrangements for Uncle Mike's Dad's funeral. It was really a blessing. He was 86 and in the Mendon Nursing Home and had fallen several times and the last he had a stroke. Sal and I were left alone to be farm girls. :-) We went out to the pasture and fed and talked to Kitkat (the grouchy horse) and DR (the very cute and nice donkey). DR will follow you around and nuzzles up to you and starts stamping his feet if you go to leave. He is a character. Kitkat stands a few feet away and just gives you those "bitchy" eyes. She's also known to run him off the trough of food, so I don't have a lot of love for her. We found Ferocious in the stable and even caught a glimpse of Booger in the barn. We held Bob (cat) and Miss Kitty and played with Chunky then we walked down the lane to get the paper, came back to the porch, rounded up the rocking chairs and sat in the nice sunshine till they came home. I could sure get used to that. :-)

Easter Sunday dinner was just us and my Mom and Dad. Aunt Jill and I had been out to Hebron Cemetery the night before (the Beckett) cemetery and couldn't find Aunt Jess - we must have walked directly over her - as to what Dad described as where she was. Anyway - we ended up asking all kinds of questions from the "wild tales" that the Grandmas had told me. I'm 11 years younger than Aunt Jill and she's the last of the "stair steps" (my 3 siblings). Soooo when *I* came along both Grandmas were retired and I spent a lot of time with my Grandma Beckett - who lived one block from us. Being only one child I got to sleep with the Grandmas when I stayed over night and I'd always ask them to tell me a "wild tale". :-)   Aunt Jill was never privy to that kind of stuff because when she stayed with Grandma - there were 3. ;-)   Ahhhh - it's good to be the baby. :-)

My Dad told of when the house that he lived in burned to the ground. That house was located right next to the house my parents live in now - they moved there , from the farm, in the 60s - not too much before I came along. My siblings didn't have running water - I did. :-) That's why they think I'm spoiled. Anyway, he told of how the entire upstairs was gone and that was where my Grandma and his things were. They lived with his Grandfather and his Uncle Albert. Even though he was 16 years old he said he cried like a baby. It made a HUGE impression on him - to this day his greatest fear is fire.

My family got a HUGE kick out of Sally. I never realized before but my Grandma's Mom (Sally) was born in September - same as my Sally. I guess I did pick the right name. :-)

Basketball is OVER!

2011-03-17T07:37:00.000-05:00

Had our first play off game last night. If we lost we were done and if we won we would go on to play for the Championship on Sat. We lost. BUT.......It was a game and a half. Both teams played REALLY well. We were within 2 for most of the game. Brad says "It was a defensive battle". :-)

I can really see how Jack improved from when we started to now. He cried twice on the court. Once when he had the ball and was picked up by a kid by the ball. And the other - I'm not sure what he was upset about. It bothers Bill a LOT - but I can see he's trying to work it out. He's staying on the court - he's trying to get back into the game - he's just got tears. I think he'll get it under control. Plus, his coach assured me he has a HUGE heart - that he had the biggest heart on the team. Well, if tears come with that - I'll take it. I love that he has such a huge heart.

Sal did a GREAT job. She played UNO with her medals the whole game. She had brought her gold medal and bronze to show some of the people at Johnny Rockets (we had a school fundraiser there before the game) and when we got to the game she asked who could play UNO with her - I suggested her medals would play - the look on her face was so cute. Kind of like "that's kind of silly - but well, yeah - they could". So it she stayed out of our hair and no "how much longer" questions. I praised her and praised her when we were done.

On a serious note - Jack brought up going to college on the way home from practice the other night. I was just him and me and he asked what college he could go to. Then asked what college Sally would go to. I said that she may go to JJC. He decided that he should do that too - when I told him that he could go away to college he seemed concerned that he wanted to be with Sal. So I leveled with him that Sal going to college and him going were two entirely different things. I broke it to him that she would not be able to be a Dr or lawyer and yes - miracles do happen and things can change but we do have to face facts of the present right now. He was kind of taken back. I think he only saw her "handicap" in her behavior and not in her ability to learn. It saddened me and of course when he got out and went in the house I sat in the car and bawled. I felt like I had killed Santa for him. I remembered that little 2 year old telling us how Sally was his hero because she had found one of his toys that he lost.

On a happier tone = Sal had her IEP annual meeting this week. She's doing GREAT. I LOVE my team - and not just because they seem to love Sal. They work SO hard and are constantly evolving on how to reach and teach her. She's reading at a 2nd grade level and can tell time and money. We still need to work on counting change and knowing what you get back - but it's a start. As we've all known for a long time her understanding is WAY above her level of communication and even that's getting better.

Sally got to come into the meeting at the end and she just beamed! She loves school so much. We got approved for summer school - which we're ALL excited about. We also decided that she will transition into the "life skills" class in High School and since my team hasn't done this before they want to work very closely with us to get this done. Loving that!

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming......

2011-03-05T20:25:00.000-06:00

I'm so full of emotion I can hardly write. It's been an amazing day. Let me back up a couple to let you in on what's been up in our household lately.

I think when I last wrote it was a little down - one of those times in life when Special Needs becomes - well, not so special. More tiring. You get worn down, nerves get raw, the world seems to be celebrating and you're cleaning up poop - just prickly. Sal's kind of been coming into a toddler/teenage (they tell me the attitude is the same) thing. Screamy in the morning. ALWAYS picking on the brother in the morning (his most *favorite* time of the day) and in general being a royal pain in my arse. Bill wanted me to see about drugs to "calm her down" - but I really think it's a teen-age thing and, sadly, there are no drugs for teenagers(or their parents).   So, I've honestly been white knuckling it through lately. We did the swim meet a couple of weeks ago and of course she qualified to go again this weekend.

We decided she could go by herself. The bus takes them all - they have a coach and aide and there's only 3 kids that go (and 2 go by themselves too). And YES I was feeling guilty. But not guilty enough to go with her. Jack had a basketball game and we've kind of neglected Jack in some of the sports things in favor of always being there for Sal....AND her coach assured me she would do great.

So today started off with a trip across town to put her on the bus by 8 am and then home to get a shower and take Jack to his game. Yes, the guilt was kicking in again because I was really looking forward to watching a game of Jack's without Sal in tow. Without having to say "only 4 minutes left" for 20 times. My brother and sister-in-law had kind of thought they might come and I was looking forward to finding out what's going on with their kids (one in Singapore, one just started basic training and one who is one of those "fat cat" teachers you hear about in the news - but THATs a whole 'nother post).

When I got back Bill decided he wanted to stay in bed - he's been sick the last 2 weeks and I think it finally caught up with him....SO Jack and I left and got to the game.   Had a great time. Jack played very well, got to find out all the gossip of the family , Jack's team won and my brother even recorded the game and said he'd send it to Mom and Dad (I still have one of those OLD videos that does the VHS). So, I got home after the game and we called the swimming coach and found out that we had a couple of hours till the bus would be home. Bill and I got to sit and talk (I had dropped Jack off at a friend's) without any interruptions. I headed over to the Park District at the appointed time.

As I got to the bus, the coach, aide and Sal were all standing outside of it - oh oh.    I no more got out than they shouted "She got a gold medal!"     I think I said something like "you're kidding - no, she didn't".

Ok, that sounds harsh probably - but I did not expect that at ALL. 1. At the last meet Sal was 4 out of 5 kids. 2. There were to be more kids at this one because if you get gold you go to State.

I think it was when I saw the medal hanging on her neck and her coach saying how she swam faster than she ever saw her that I started crying. (and of course I'm crying now just thinking about it). Sal, of course was on to the next thing and was in the car before I could say thankyou to the staff and goodbye.

As we drove home I told her how proud I was of her. "You are?" She asked. "Mabel be proud too." she commented. I bawled all the way home and she kept looking at me like I was crazy. ;-)

When we got home she ran in saying "I won gold medal!" Bill was as stunned as I was and I do believe I saw a tear in his eye. "We go to Culvers?" she asked. Are you kidding? She could asked for a car and probably got it at that point. :-)   We called Grandma and Grandpa, Aunts, Uncles, took pictures and posted them on facebook. As the night has gone on I've tried to figure out just why I'm so touched and emotional about this. I keep recalling two times in my life: 1. When the lady down the street told me about her Johnny who was in a home and got money for crushing cans and that he has made $2.25 one day and when I had rejoiced with her she said "Oh, I just knew *you'd* get it. All my other friends think don't get it. And the time when Jack was probably 3 or 4 and he stood in front of us with Sally standing behind and "read" (like kids do when they've heard the story so many times they know it by heart) to us. I remember thinking "how can I be happy when I know you're sister will NEVER do this".

So, tonight I "get it" again. Tonight his sister stands in FRONT. Tonight I see the HOPE. Tonight I have more faith and tonight I CELEBRATE.

And lastly - tonight I realize that I am holding her back. I may need to push a little more. Either that - or I have to sneak into things - so she doesn't know I'm there. :-)

Basketball

2011-02-22T20:52:00.000-06:00

Tonight was the game between the Lions Club and the JBSRA (Special Rec) kids. They do this every year. The Lions Club is a big contributor to Special Needs. The guys show up and play a game against our Jr and Sr team and then they feed everyone. :-)

The game began with one of the Lion's members singing the National Anthem. About half way through one of the guys from the Sr team went and stood by the Lion's member that was singing and put his arm around him as he finished the song. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house.

The game is always a lot of fun because the older Special Needs "kids" (a lot are adults) help the younger ones and really feed them the ball. The refs always call a lot of fouls on the Lions and not as many on our guys. ;-) It's just a great time and it's just FULL of celebration - there is absolutely NOTHING in this world that looks as good as a special needs kid that has just done something like make a basket or in Sal's case, inbound a ball. Their whole body lights up. :-)

It's very hard for me to watch and not just bawl my eyes out in happiness. There's just SO much happiness in that gym. What's also kind of cool is we usually draw a crowd from the other gyms and they all stand around and watch. The Sr team is really VERY good. They will be traveling downstate again this year to defend their gold title in Spec Olympics. Bill and I are very tempted to take the kids in March and go watch. But, being in Bloomington - it's expensive to get a room and food and all and we think it might be best to skip it. It's such a good time, though to watch those guys.

After the game the Lions served hotdogs and chips and soda and the kids all sat around and did their thing. :-) It's so neat to see them all talking together. These programs do SO much more than let them play basketball - there's SO much social practice and life skills there. So we said goodbye to our basketball coaches for the year. Of course we see them again at Social Club. :-)

Stressed

2011-02-20T20:10:00.000-06:00

It's been a stressed weekend. I don't tend to realize how stressed I am until it's over. I think I go on auto-pilot. I did this during labor too. Almost like you're in shock. Anyway - when I get home and the day is "over" or it's the next day like now - I feel wrung out and very tired and like my nerves are standing on end. And maybe because it's not "over". She's almost more keyed up when it's over. The screechy voice is out in full force. She can't be still at all. She's all over the place. I really wonder what goes on in her brain when she's like that.

Back to the Swim Meet. Sal got 3rd in her heat.   She did 50 meters freestyle this time. Her first time to go down and back in the pool. She did REALLY well. I'm so proud of how she swims. She smiles and almost waves as she does it. :-)   She LOVES the water. She chose Swim Meet over Social Club this weekend. As we were driving home from the Swim Meet she said "They went to Social Club without me, didn't they?"     "Yes, they did," I said.        "They miss me. " Sally said.    "I'm sure they did, Sal."   :-)

Grandma almost cried on the phone when we told her. Grandma doesn't swim and is scared stiff of the water - swimming lessons were the ONLY thing she put me in. It was THAT important to her. So for Sal to conquer the water is a big deal to her. *I* love the water and am SO pleased that Sal has followed. When she goes to practice, she swims the ENTIRE hour of practice. I'm always amazed at her stamina.

Water IS the great equalizer in Special Needs. A LOT of the kids that CAN'T walk, or talk, or do anything "typical" CAN swim. It's SO cool to see them lowered into the water in a chair or see them take the lead when their hands cant move - but those legs can kick like hell. SO much we take for granted.

I got a letter this week from a friend that asked about what Sal will do when we're gone. And I've said here before that I pray that I will live one day longer than her. Sal's ok financially and hopefully will be able to live on her own with minimal help (that's my goal) and hopefully hold a job. The government provides for 100% insurance (SSI) for her when she reaches 18. The thing is she can only hold $2000 in assets. So Special Needs families have to set up a Special Needs Trust. It is like a business in that it has it's own federal ID number and is separate from Sal's SSN . Ours will be funded when the last one of us dies. We have "2nd to die" life insurance. My Mom and Dad have also willed money to Sal and made it to go to the trust. It was a whole hairy mess - we had to have a special lawyer - not all lawyers are acquainted with Special Needs Trusts. But our Financial Advisor (who also happens to be my Mom and Dad's) worked with our lawyer and got it all straight for us. It's such a pain in the ass. Now I just have to watch any salary from any jobs she gets and make sure we don't go over the amount.

We have named a bank as the executor of this trust. They will have say over what Sal will spend money on AND they will account to shareholders of how the trust is doing. It *sounds* more complicated than it is. I've listed out what I want for her funeral and what I think she should have as far as wants. We always joke that Jack would be a LOT nicer to her if he knew how much she'll be worth someday. :-)

Special Needs is always an adventure from Dr's visits to playground play to even future planning. Nothing is every *easy*.   I remember how it FREAKED me out so much at the beginning. I mean EVERYTHING has to be planned and thought through. I'm not as freaked as I used to be.

In Culver's yesterday (our treat after ANY sports function) Jack and Sal were at each other and Sal screamed - just a short burst - nothing major. A lady looked at me and said "He screams like a girl"
"That's because she is," I said "And she screamed because she has autism and isn't always good at minding her social skills." ( I wanted to add ; like you obviously aren't so good at social skills either - because we usually think before we speak) :-)   I have to admit - sometimes I LOVE to put people in their place. I LOVE to see the dropped mouth and stupid look. I want so bad to say "yes, I know you were judging my parenting and I know you were thinking you were superior - but maybe you need to back off there, sparky"
:-)   Granted, Sal does look like a boy - the short hair the non-girly clothes, I get that a lot. It was the look on the lady's face - that *she * could do better. The "um, um, I'm sorrys" are always great. :-) I have to admit - sometimes I'm catty. :-) But it's usually warranted. :-)

2 days off of school this week. ugghh. I was HOPING it was going to be nice outside. Doesn't look like it. Means Sal and I will prob be sick of each other by Wednesday. :-)   I know I get on her nerves as much as she does me. And maybe that's not all bad. I think that's a "normal" daughter thing. :-)

Rough Times

2011-02-06T18:56:00.000-06:00

When Sal was a baby and she would wake me in the night I often sat there with her with a real wonderment of how I could love something so much that interrupted my sleep and that I didn't even get upset about it. That always amazed me that I never felt angry or ticky at her for getting me up time after time after time.

I thought back on this time tonight as I was once AGAIN showering her off because she had had an accident. Those days are gone. She can bring me to tears very easily - and I know that it really is no fault of her own. She can't help it today anymore than she could as a baby - but it's been 13 years, she DEMANDS now and she's NOT little. :-)   But the wild thing is - she's still just as innocent.

Oh, for a look into that mind. I'd give anything - my kingdom for a look into her mind (and a coffee pot that pours correctly) :-)

My Mom called today and told me about a friend she was concerned about who's daughter doesn't engage in conversation. (She's has aspergers syndrome). My first thought was "and the problem is???" :-)
I had had a day (WEEK) of non-stop talking. Non-stop questions.   I opinioned that we could bump the girls together and see if they could get a little of the other. :-)   Everyone has their own cross to carry. Mine's just a little heavy tonight.

We had planned to go to friend's house and autism, once again, got in the way. And as I sit here a little irritated that I didn't get to go (feeling like Jack who pouts and stomps) :-) I also have to laugh at the girl who sits on the couch after being bathed and hair washed and teeth brushed saying "I love COPS" as she watches the show. ;-)   And once again I am humbled by this crazy creature that evokes so many emotions in me. This person who is such a mystery yet such a constant. Someone who seems to know what I'm thinking so much that it's scary yet cannot even blow her own nose. :-)

Sad

2011-01-27T07:20:00.000-06:00

My cousin's 12 year old daughter died last week. Her obit was in the paper today. It was really lovely. It's so hard to wrap your brain around kids' deaths. Sal and I had seen her at a gathering we had for my aunt this fall - she was so good to Sal. Helping her roast hotdogs and marshmallows. A real sweetie. Crazy how quickly life changes. She had meningitis and was actually starting to get better, but that was not to be.

So, I'm sitting here with a sympathy card in front of me and I have NO idea of what words to even put down. How do you even start??? To me that HAS to be like hell on earth - to loose your child. Even though I pray every night that I live just one day longer than Sal - what I mean is for her to live a nice long life and for me to be there for her the whole time. Just brings the whole me leaving her front and center more and more.

I've decided not to tell Sally. She didn't know Megan all that well. We had just been with the whole family the one time that she remembers . As it is, Sal has this phobia of being sick. She insists she's NEVER sick. (when you're sick you have to stay home from school) So, I don't think telling her that Megan got sick and died would be a good thing. Too much unnecessary anxiety.

On a very weird note - my guided reading group is reading a book in which the one of the characters (a 12 year old boy) died. Talk about bringing things full circle.

Life is Good

2011-01-25T16:22:00.000-06:00

There are times when things are really good. Nothing big that happens - it's just that things are running pretty well. Oh, sure the house is a mess (as always) and there's laundry to be done, but everyone is happy. They're not bickering, homework is done and dinner doesn't have to be made for a while.

Sal got her report card today. She's on 1st honors again. Which in Sally world is all about Celebration of Success. This is kind of a "party" for all the kids who have made honor roll. They have it Friday after school and have a DJ and refreshments and games and just general merriment. :-) THIS is what's most important to Sal. :-)

I had a meeting with her teacher yesterday and we talked about high school. Even though Sal won't go for another year - she wanted to get my feelings about a class called "low incidence". It's basically a life skills class. She'll learn to cook, do laundry, grocery shop, ---- hey - maybe *I* should go. :-)

Swimming last night - Sal's gonna compete in 50 meter free style - which means she'll have to do 2 lengths of the pool. She's pretty excited. God, she loves to swim.

Jack has been in an exceptionally good mood lately. I guess I haven't ruined his life this week. :-) He got his braces off and retainer put in. He's none too happy. He says the retainer is worse than the braces when it comes to eating. He looks so nice, though. No more gap or little narrow ferret face. :-)

We had an interesting basketball game again last weekend. The game before us was FULL of butt-heads lead by a butt-head coach who insisted on being ON the court through most of the 4th quarter and yelling. The ref's had to stop the game several times. There was many heated exchanges between ref and coach. When we get to the games I always let Jack go sit with his coach and team so after these exchanges I headed to where Jack's team was sitting and called him to come sit with me so I could de-program all the drama that was happening. I did my very best "I'm so embarrassed that grown -ups act this way" face and talked over and over about how would he feel if that was Gpa or Uncle Brad or Uncle Mike out there ref'ing. Wouldn't he be angry that someone yelled at them like that. I also went on to talk about if you're going to get that upset about calls then you need to scream about how small the hoop is and how the court is too long. IT'S ALL PART OF THE GAME and when you decide to PLAY the game you accept EVERYTHING that goes with it!!!! I've just NEVER understood the whole yelling at ref's. I've also never understood the whole "blame the ref/umpire/line judge - for YOUR problems. If you are SOOO good then you shouldn't even be that close in score that a single call can make or break it. As you can imagine I got a lot of looks from Jack that pretty much said "are you done talking, yet?" :-) But, just like telling him to brush his teeth and not to run in the house - I keep plugging away . :-)

Been having a GREAT time at school. I have a new guided reading group. There's 6 in this group and they're SO talkative! We have the best talks - they really seem to get *into* the books. I'm also in charge of reading to Jack's class each month. I haven't found anything for Feb yet. It needs to be short - but not too short. And preferably something on the subject of what they're doing in school. No pressure.

Between Sal's swimming, hip hop jazzersize, bowling, basketball , social club and Jack's basketball games and practices - I'm always amazed that I'm where I'm supposed to be each day. :-) It just feels extra good when things run smoothly like it has been lately. It's the little things......

The Games We Play

2011-01-14T10:55:00.000-06:00

It's been an exciting week. It started on Saturday morning. Jack had his first basketball game and then Sal had a game. QUITE a trip to watch 8 year old "typical" boys play and then turn and watch a Special Needs game. We should ALL play more like Special Needs.

On Saturday, I saw "typical" children ARGUE with refs (I remind you they're 8!!) At Sal's game they THANK the ref for the call. (it is really cute) I reminded Jack that I had NO shame and would most definitely drag his butt off a court in front of God and everyone if he so much as rolled an eyeball at a ref. :-)

I saw parents SCREAM at "typical" children to do this and do that and "not take that from him". At Sal's game we cheer for BOTH teams because there's nothing better than the smile of a Special Needs child who has made a basket. Let me remind you that MOST of the Special Needs team has some sort of limp or frozen arm or a sensory to noise. So just running is a big deal - heck - if you can dribble - you're pretty much the star of the game. :-)

I saw coaches and parents of the "typical" kids act SO seriously about the game that you would have sworn some one's life depended on it. At Sal's game she asked in the car (after the game) "I win?"
No, I said - you didn't. "Oh, we go to Culver's for lunch?" was the reply. LOVE that. :-)

Now, you tell me - who is more "handicapped". Seems to me we do a disservice to "typical" kids. We put the emphasis on the WRONG things. Games should be a hobby - a pleasure - not LIFE. Games are a way to spend an afternoon. A way to prove to yourself that practice can make you good at something. It shouldn't be a WAY of life. So how do we change things? How do we make it so basketball players earn LESS than our teachers. That our kids DREAM to be policemen and not football players that fight dogs. I guess it begins at home. And poor Jack, he gets to hear his Mom go on and on in lectures about such things. :-)

So This Is Christmas

2011-01-03T08:05:00.000-06:00

So Christmas has come and gone for another year. I think my dislike grows each year. My children are still bright lights in the whole ugly holiday.

Bill and I put up the tree this year while they were at school and left all the ornaments - which are mostly theirs that have been given to them through the years. They had the best time getting them all out and putting them up. Jack, is like my Mother and spends time with each ornament talking about where he got it and who gave it to him. Sal just likes to open them and then hands them to someone to put on the tree. :-)

The advent calendar was, as usual, the bane of my existence in December. We do it first thing in the morning - this is the way it started and God forbid you change "tradition". :-) So, this brings them from a sound sleep at the dawn of day - like some internal clock. Then I am at the mercy of whatever evil plan my Mother has concocted. This year's booty went from Push-Pops to guns that shot foam rubber discs. Because nothing says Peace On Earth like a disc to the head. There was also a puzzle with the smallest pieces I've ever seen and when putting it together the boy wondered (out loud) if Grandma had purposely left out a piece because there was one missing that just couldn't be found. (it was later found - under the very chair the boy was sitting in)

Santa was a hit as usual. We tracked him on NORAD . On Christmas Eve (day) we went to Dick and Laurena's and saw that Santa was almost at Dave's house. Dave lives in Singapore now, and it was fun having someone "over there" the kids knew that showed how Santa does it all.

Had a GREAT time at Uncle Dick's. They now have 3 boxers. Peyton, Stewart and now Addison - who, is deaf - and all white - like albino white. Then we added Zoe - Bob's girlfriend's dog to the mix - she's a Pomeranian. They are SO funny to watch. I wonder, though if they've had Addison checked - I mean - Mabel ACTS likes she's deaf too. :-)

The two weeks off were kind of hard on Sal - the lack of set schedule is hard for her and she becomes anxious. Then she talks and talks and asks the same questions over and over and over, it's a vicious circle.

What is it with Parents?

2010-12-19T09:16:00.000-06:00

Had the Special Needs Christmas Party yesterday. I know I've talked about this before - but I just totally LOVE this party. The Knights of Columbus put it on - we have lunch, EACH kid gets a gift (up to $40!!) and there's cake and ice-cream, choir caroling, and of course SANTA! Don't get me wrong the food is OUTSTANDING, and the gifts are VERY nice - but the things I like the best are that we get to see all the kids that Sal has been participating with and we get to see that our cross to bear could be a LOT worse. There's kids there in wheel chairs - kids that eat through a tube - kids that can't talk - you name it. The very BEST part is ALL of those "kids" (some are in their 20s and 30s) rush outside to see Santa arrive on the fire truck! The smiles and squeals and cheers are deafening!!! It's just sheer, unbridled joy. They don't care about what the look like, they don't care that society thinks they're too old to like Santa, they don't care that it's not "cool" to show joy. God, I LOVE that!!!

We have the best time mingling around and talking to everyone about how they're doing. Everyone knows Sal and we of course know most of the kids - and their parents are always ____'s Mom or ____'s Dad.
:-) WE don't count - not in this world - it's the kids that count.

Sally got 3 gifts!!!! Moon Sand, Moon Dough and Legos! She was SO pleased. She decided that Jack should get the Legos. She gave them to him. Jack didn't come with us this year. He chose to go to the neighbors. I didn't fight him. The party is ALL about Sal and he's done well with that for many years. But, when Sal decided to give him the box of Legos she said "I'm a nice sister, aren't I Mom?" :-) Classic Sally.

So here's where I get on my soapbox. We sat with 2 women who are notoriously bitchy about EVERYTHING. We sat down at a table that wasn't full and sure enough these two sought us out. Ugghh. I've had run ins with them before and it just amazes me every time how UN grateful they are about EVERYTHING! The soup didn't have enough chicken, where was Santa, didn't their kid want the hard-cover book instead of the paperback that he got, and of course the minute they get their gift - they're out of there. Now THAT'S teaching the kids some GOOD stuff!!! I just want to shake them! At one point they even started talking by name about a friend of mine. I had to leave the table. I'm NOT good at listening to bad things about friends of mine. I tend to jump in and get a little obnoxious. Since I'm not too good at controlling that - yet - I get out of the situation.

It's almost like the *parents* are the ones with the special needs and they instill that into the child. It's like this label is their invitation to be jack-wagons. We *loudly* talked to Sal in front of these "ladies" about how the guys in blue (the Knights) were the ones that did all of this - that they raised the money it took (by selling those tootsie-rolls) and made the dinner, did the shopping, set up the gym and then took it all down again. I know it went over their heads, but you keep trying.

Sally told Santa thank-you and clutched her goodies with a death-grip all the way home. We all decided that we had had a good time. Daddy and I in tears - as usual. You just can't be around these kids for too long without being touched to the very core of your heart. There's so much joy, so much hope in that room. Even in spite of the "jack-wagons" in the place - the raw joy and love just conquers it all!

These Are the Days

2010-12-10T14:05:00.000-06:00

So, I just finished re-reading Anne Frank's Diary. We read it in HS and though I did get a lot out of it then - I think I appreciate it even more now. I also stumbled across the Anne Frank House on the web. It has a virtual tour you can take of the house - and it has made a profound impression on me. I go back to the web almost every other day almost "checking in" on Anne. Crazy, I know. I don't know WHY this book got to me so much this time. It's not my kind of book - except for the history of the thing. I mean, it doesn't "flow" like I like. Because of the translation it doesn't even create the greatest of pictures - not like some of the books I read. Anyway, I think about it all the time. Unlike books that "come alive" in films (which almost always suck compared to the book) this book "came alive" in truth for me with the tour. But on to the other tales of my life thus far. :-)

Sal has taken on Snow Shoeing as a ....... hmmmm - here's the deal with Sal - we sign her up for almost everything she expresses interest in through the local Park District. They have a FANTASTIC Spec Rec staff and I see this as therapy for Sal. OT, Speech, PT - it's all there and done by people who are really trained as well as any therapist I've ever met AND are MUCH more reliable, so , is it a hobby? Therapy? Project? I don't know - we signed her up. Sal has a thing where cold does not bother her near as much as a typical person and when she was younger you kind of had to watch her because she just never wanted to come in even when she was getting dangerously cold. So, this seemed like a perfect fit and as usual - She loves it. :-) AND she's pretty good at it. We all meet at a park in Downers Grove and they all stomp around in the snow and Jack plays football for the hour. *I* sit in my nice warm car and read. In the *wonderful* quiet. :-)

December has descended on us and as usual I am out of sorts. I just really really hate Christmas. I hate the colors, the garland, the tree. It almost makes me a little queasy. The hypocrisy of buying SO much and going to SUCH extent to celebrate made up birthday of a person who was so NOT what Christmas has become.   And in fact what it does is usually makes people feel inadequate, unprepared and a lot of times very lonely. I've decided I'm much more a Jew than a Christian. Getting out a Menorah seems SO much nicer than dragging out all that Christmas crap. :-)

I have a friend on the Oct List who is Jewish (there are several on the list) and I have been following her Hanuka celebration this year. She has 8 kids and they are having a ball and guess what - NO DECORATIONS! Their celebrations seems so much more genuine than the Christmas ones I've known.

A friend of mine was surprised that we only get our kids two presents - one from Santa and one from us. This is exactly what I mean - it's not "good enough". And speaking as a mother of a little boy who is having a hard time being grateful for what he gets now - I need not give in to that kind of thinking.

Yes, Jack has been a pip lately. Every time he doesn't get EXACTLY what he wants or things don't go EXACTLY how he expects he throws a fit. The only GOOD thing is that through these little fits and the latter punishment he has learned to say he's sorry. (and he's getting good at it - see practice works)
:-)   He's MUCH more upset by changes than Sal is. Drives me crazy. And the thing is - we don't have THAT many changes - because we are a Spec Needs family.

Jack is also expressing more and more anger that Sal is "different". He confided in me the other night that he wished Sal was "normal". As I was making dinner that night they decided they would like to eat in the living room (Daddy wouldn't be home) so they got their places all ready and I heard Jack say "Sal, I was sitting there."
"Oh, sorry." She replied.
When he came in the kitchen I told him - "a *normal* sister would have told you to go chase a cat, when you told them that was your place. That your name wasn't on that place and you could just move on."
"Yeah," he said "I guess you're right."
Oh, lessons sometimes just pop right out of the air. :-)

Jack also has been on a campaign to change his middle name to: Razzle Dazzle. I have no idea where he came up with that. He is entertaining to say the least.

He Was Ripped Off!

2010-12-03T16:15:00.000-06:00

Jack just came barreling in from school with a tale of how he had "been ripped off......twice". In his usual Drama filled way he told of how at lunch he had gotten a cookie and laid it on the table so he could dispose of his tray. When he stood up his cookie was "magically gone". But he "knew" that the "evil, lying Joseph" had taken it and he was right. Joseph wouldn't give it back and "EVEN TOOK A BITE OUT OF IT" so he went to tell Ms M.   Thus ended the first ripped off.

Later in the day, Ms Bruno (the Asst Principal) called him to the office. Ms M had told her about the incident and Ms Bruno gave Jack a new cookie........ it was YELLOW and GREEN!!!!! (Green Bay colors - a HATED team by Jack's team Chicago Bears)   This would be the 2nd ripping off. :-)

As it took everything I had not to laugh - I did manage to get out "You didn't SAY that to Ms Bruno did you?"
"no" and he gave me the *duh* look.    "And you did say thank you, correct?" I asked.
"Yeah, Mom - I'm not a jerk" :-)
Oh, he's a pip. Entertaining - yes, but still a pip. :-)

The Future

2010-12-02T10:23:00.000-06:00

"From your child with special needs: "I do not spend my time living in the future as you do. I know you worry so much about tomorrow and what will become of me. I can only handle one day, one week at a time. If I could only reach you when you worry and pull you back to the moment here with me, I would tell you that I love you and to please take it one day at a time." HOPELights

Ain't it the truth. I DO think a LOT about what's going to happen to Sal in the future. Where she will live, work, what will happen when I die. I pray every night that I live just one day longer than she.

Sal, of course, is undaunted by the future. She is planning on buying the house next to us and having two boys: Matt and Max. She'll "get the father later". :-)   It's humorous but yet sad too. I don't think she'll be able to care for herself much less care for a child. Of course I don't say this to her or discuss anything that serious with her.

Jack and I are starting an Autism Acceptance Book. Jack is being MUCH more obnoxious to Sal and though I realize that this is very typical brother behaviour - I do want to make sure he has the facts about what goes on with Sal.

So on to Snowshoeing. Yes, Sal has signed up for Snowshoeing with the Park District. Her first practice was last night. She had a good time AND she can do it! I figured it'd be a good match for her. She doesn't seem to be bothered by the cold AND she can walk - so I thought what the heck. :-)   And in true Sal fashion she has embraced it. ;-)

Jack took a beach ball along and played out on the soccer field the whole hour. As I watched him I had to think about how I get upset sometimes because he can't sit still but if he did - he probably wouldn't be a child that liked to go out in the freezing cold and play. I didn't and I was a child that could sit still - still can. :-) So I had to be thankful that Jack was Jack.

I think God or whatever makes things like that on purpose because Jack was on my list BIG time this week. He threw a huge hissy about not having a 2010 calendar of his own and talked to me like I was his hired help. When I walked away and refused to answer his pleading for help he changed his tune and said he was sorry but we still had a discussion about how *we* act in this family and what was and was not acceptable. He needs reminding constantly. ;-) He's SO dramatic. Everything is SUCH a big deal - that is unless it doesn't concern him - then it is nothing. Kind a Republican point of view. jk   :-)

Looser Mom

2010-11-21T09:33:00.000-06:00

Boy have I been stinking up the joint lately. First of all, I totally blew off Sal's bowling on Thurs afternoon. At 5:00 (It starts at 4:30) it dawned on me that she had to be at bowling. She was NONE too happy with me.

Saturday I forgot her basketball practice. She had social club later in the day and we got her to that. When I picked her up she gets in and promptly says "you forgot to take me to baaaasketball". CRAP.

I really don't understand why. I mean, I used to work and never missed anything. Now, I'm at home - alone and I'm having problems. I have always said that being a stay at home Mom was the hardest job and that's why I *went* to work - but I meant with kids at home. I have no kids from 9-2:30. Pretty much the same amount of time I had them before so nothing big has changed except I have time at home to do things. Now, granted, I HAVE underestimated exactly how much time that is. When I first lost my job/quit - whatever - I thought "OMG - I'll have all this time to really clean things and do things like paint and write....." NOT. 9-2:30 *seems* like a very long time - it's not.

I mean - it's ok to clean a room - not a kids' room but a bathroom or room where you don't need a dump truck backed up to the house. And it's time to do laundry and get some dishes done - but it's not time to drag things out and have to put them back again because you have to get dinner going. I have to work on a better schedule of what I'm doing each day. I think I've let my guard down and haven't been as anxious about making sure I'm where I'm supposed to be - which has helped my health - just not my Mother skills.
:-)
Speaking of health. I saw my Dr this week. He talked me into a flu shot (no, he didn't have too talk much) and we talked about my spiritual health. He had no religious affiliation on my records - I'm new to him - I saw his partner for the last 20+ years - but he's since moved....anywho... We talked about my hesitance of naming myself Christian - being as how I'm not all that encompasses AND being that I HATE what Christianity has begun to stand for lately. I know that's not true of all Christians - but then I ask - where is *their* outcry? Where is their spokesman that says "We do NOT believe in this"??? Again, I digress.

My Dr is awesome - we talked about how hypocritical some are and that going to a church does not make a person embrace everything about that religion. That it is possible to keep one's own identity and beliefs within the church. We even discussed my friend Peter (the apostle - my favorite) and how he felt this way about Paul (never cared much for Paul). So, I'm feeling better about this. I find my Dr very interesting - given he is a vegan, climbs mountains and is SO animated you would swear he was on stage. He believes in Eastern medicine of mind but also endorses the flu shot and drugs of Western medicine. I just felt better after seeing him.

Now all I need to do is get it together. :-)

Swimming

2010-11-15T20:53:00.000-06:00

Swim team practice tonight for Sal. She LOVES to swim. She smiles the entire time she's swimming. Tonight Tommy's Mom and Kyle's Mom sat by me and we engaged in conversation. Tommy is 11 and Kyle is 15. Amazing how different our kids are. Tommy wrote Sal's name today. Sally can't write at all. Sally talks ALL day long and Tommy won't utter a word. Kyle can swim so well that you would not notice a difference at all but yet can't tie his shoes and has trouble with buttons.

One thing that we as mothers all had in common - problems with people in our lives who think the kids' can be cured, or that they plain don't have a problem, or that we aren't doing a good enough job. Lord, the advice people give you can really be tiring. Or the people who shove the sunshine up your butt. We all had an instance where someone was going to *show us* and turns out they got the lesson. :-)

We all have people in our lives who are ashamed of us and of our children. It's kind of interesting because after meeting SO many Special Needs parents I've determined that we are some of the funniest and most insightful people I've ever met. It's like the kids bring out the very best in us and seems we've all developed a very wicked sense of humor just to get through it all.

As usual there was a "typie" (typical - as in parent to a typical child) parent there at swimming who thought our kids didn't need two lanes in the pool. People like that really push my buttons. I also love the stares that we get every week by someone in the locker room as I help Sal get dressed. Both mother's knew what I was talking about. It's nice to kind of have a bitch session once in a while. I also got some great info about BHS from Kyle's mom . And Tommy's Mom was so pleased that Tommy had written Sally's name today. Made me feel good too. Sally was pleased to hear that Tommy had thought of Sal at school today.

Swim meet coming up. Sal got timed tonight. Backstroke still needs work. She's SO slow - but she's smiling ALL the way, it's so cute. The kids all cheer for each other. Sometimes I feel I'm doing a disservice to her by trying to get her to fit into our world - we should all try to fit into theirs - it seems SO much more pleasant. :-)

2010-11-13T10:21:00.000-06:00

What's that saying: "Sometimes your the hotdog maker and sometimes your the hotdog." Or maybe it was ants or something. I can't remember. Lately I'm the hotdog - just constantly being picked at. As Sal gets older she's actually more demanding AND we're hitting that *lovely* time of teenage-ness. The talking back, the snide remarks. Granted with Sal they're accompanied with "I'm sorry" but still. Her verbal battle is exhausting.

What's really crazy is that this "phase" of her's is really something to celebrate. She is starting to think more for herself and to rebel. But it's very hard to celebrate this when you're still dressing her and brushing her teeth for her. Like I said, I'm feeling like the hotdog lately. ;-)

Jack(and others) was honored at school with an A/B honor roll assembly. I'm really proud of him because he does all his work on his own.: The school year started and everyone (my friends) was complaining about homework and how much there was of it and it occurred to me that my child was not bringing ANYTHING home. I then emailed his teacher and asked her about this. Come to find out, Jack's teacher allows times during the school day that the kids have free time - Jack (and others) do their work during this time!!!!! I was STUNNED!!! See, I'm the WORST procrastinator and Bill's not much better so for Jack to do this for himself is fantastic! We had a talk with him and told him that he was more than welcome to make the decisions on when to do things on his own as long as his grades were good. If they weren't then I'd have to empty his backpack each day and be on his butt. So far, so good! Since I'm so NOT a self-starter I am really impressed with him. I so hope I don't rub off on him and rather maybe I can learn from him. :-)

Jack has lost patience more with Sal lately, too. He yells at her all the time - which puts me over the edge. I know he's frustrated but he still needs to learn to deal with her in a "human" way.

I'll be listening to the Illini West (Carthage IL) game today. They're playing in the Quarter Finals today. Brad is talking the trash already this morning. Him and Mick were both on my facebook making remarks. Brad is looking forward to his school getting to State and Mick is looking for his kid's school to go too. Thank God they're in different classes. :-) It's crazy to be playing High School football this late in the season, but it's fun too. :-)

Mrs Grimm's A/B Honor Roll Students

A Lesson Learned

2010-11-12T08:10:00.000-06:00

HOPELights From your child with special needs: "I want the same things you want. I wish I moved faster, wish I could catch up. Wish I could tell you what frustrates me. As lonely as it gets for you, it is for me too. But most of all I wish I could tell you how much I love you. I hope you feel this when you are near." HOPELights♥

Strange how some things come all at once. Yesterday, when taking Sal to bowling, Tommy's mom stopped me. (Sally calls this boy Thomas) She told me how much Tommy liked Sal because Sally always talked to him. Tommy is 11 and is non-verbal. It made me realize that the thing I've been on edge about lately (her CONSTANT talking) is what is making this boy's life better. Because Tommy is non-verbal most kids give up - thinking he's stupid or mad at them - you know, who wants to be the one to do all the talking. Enter SALLY! :-)

On the ride home I kept thinking about this and it dawned on me that I didn't even ask Tommy's Mom what HER name was. It's strange how we, as Special Needs parents kind of keep to our self. As I thought back I realize that at swimming we all have our own little corners we retreat to. We don't tend to form bonding friendships like other parents who attend sports with their children. I wonder why that is.

Anyway, when I got home the above blurb was waiting for me in my inbox. I think we're all lonely - we, as parents have SO much going on that friendship is really a hard thing to take on sometimes. Any relationship needs to be tended and I think we get so consumed with tending to our Special Needs kids that when we are alone - we welcome it - we relish in it - we don't want to take on anyone else's "stuff".

This is why I'm so VERY thankful for JBSRA. They take Sal and engage her and give me a break. They cherish her as I do and thus I get a break, knowing that not only is she learning but also having a great time and being cared for by someone who has patience with her.

This week has made me appreciate the thing that bugs the heck out of me about Sal. I remember distinctly how MUCH I worried that she would never talk. I imagined a very hard life for her when she couldn't get her needs met because she wouldn't be able to communicate. Now I worry about other things. Mostly, I pray that I will live just one day longer than she does. :-)

Football

2010-10-15T10:32:00.000-05:00

Sally and I went "South" last weekend. My Aunt Betty and Uncle Alex were coming in from FL and the kids had Friday off --- plus Bill was having a Garage Sale here so Sal and I decided on Thurs night that we would leave Friday and go for a visit.

We happened to hit the weekend that QND (Quincy Notre Dame) played Illini West (Carthage and surrounding area).   They are both ranked #1 in their divisions and they haven't ever played each other. "Uncle" Brad is the Principal of Illini West High School and "Uncle" Mick is big in QND and his kids will be going there.

Some of you may not know the whole hatred of QND. If you're a Bear's Fan think of QND as the Packers. You know, you always root for the Bears and ANYONE who plays the Packers. QND is HATED "down south". They have been ever since my Dad was an athlete and they were called Christian Brothers. They usually have good teams (and they've been accused of paying for those teams) AND they really could benefit from being jacked up and having a little humility run under them. :-)

This game was so hyped up ALL week. There were news crews there with all the satellites and vans and such. They played at Illini West. My Nephew - "Uncle" Brad was very concerned that if QND (which everyone was betting on) would do their customary *Victory Dance* on IW's field and that there could really be problems. I'm not kidding when I say this game was one of the biggest things to happen down there this year.

Aunt Jill , Sally and I picked up Uncle Mike and truckstered over to Carthage about an hour and half before game time. There was to be a JV game prior and we knew it would be hell to find a seat. Mr Gooding ("Uncle" Brad) had saved a nice parking place for his Mom and Dad so we didn't have to walk too far at all. We did have to split up, though. There were no seats where Uncle Mike's chair would fit with 4 around him. So Sal and I sat in the Cheering Section. :-)

According to the count there was close to 5,000 people there that night. FANTASTIC game. And yes, Illini West won. I love Mick dearly and especially his kids - but I don't think I can *ever* cheer for QND. Sal and I had a ball. We yelled and cheered and clapped and at one point the cheerleaders threw out suckers and one of the kids caught one and gave it to Sal saying "I have to give this to you because you're wearing a Cubs shirt". :-) So not ALL "down home" boys are stupid and like Cardinals. :-)

We had plenty of time to get food and Sal bought an Illini West shirt with Charger on it. At half time we watched the band - which was conducted by the Band Teacher that directed Brad and Mick at Southeastern and now works for Brad. (ain't life amazing)   They were GOOD. But Ms Linda has ALWAYS gotten great music out of kids. We had a baton twirler in front of us and I explained that Aunt Jill used to twirl too but that her baton was on fire...... at that exact moment the twirler hit the ground and lit 2 batons and started twirling! Sal and I were pleased. :-)   What a fun night.

When the game was over and QND was licking their wounds and Brad's kids were dreaming of the blizzards that their Uncle Mick had bet them - we got to talk to Mr Gooding and I do believe he could have floated away. He was SO happy that they had won. We all were - except Mick. :-) Mick takes a lot of razzing but he's a good egg, and a good sport.

LOTS of county cops helped direct traffic out of the school and then as we were taking Uncle Mike back to the Nursing Home we saw lots of county cops taking radar - going to get those QND people on their way back to Quincy. I'm not kidding when I used the word HATE. :-)

If only that had been my only encounter with Cops that weekend. Yes, I got a ticket. On my way from my Mom's to my Sister's. There's a nice flat stretch of highway where you can see forever and I'll have you know I'm not the only one who has been stopped there. I am the only one in the family though. :-/
And on top of that he didn't even ask where I was going or where I was coming from - because I was all ready to pull the Gooding / Beckett last name card. :-) When you're related to people who are well known and liked - you use it. :-)

Now, as most of you know - Sal LOVES COPS. As in the TV show. Now, on COPS the show - EVERYONE goes to jail - no one gets a ticket....soooooooo..... as he's walking back to his car after stopping me and getting my license and insurance info, I turn around and she's all huddled up with her monkey in her hands and stammering "Are you going to jail???"

Oh My!   Thank God it took him a while to write me up - I was busy explaining a "ticket". All Sal knows is a ticket is a good thing - gets you on a ride or lets you get a prize. Ughhhh.   So we got it all straightened out and on our way to Aunt Jill's. Since Aunt Jill wasn't home - I wrote out my check and headed to Bowen to mail it. Sally was quite concerned that he took my license so I figured I'd show her exactly how this all works. What adventures we have. :-)

Saturday night we had a huge wiener roast at my cousins' house. Her and her husband bought the farm that my Grandma used to live on. It was strange Grandma used to live on. It was strange seeing it again. Why is everything always so SMALL when you become an adult? As a kid her house was HUGE. Anyway, we had a great time. My Cousin's husband is a big hunter and we got to see all his hunting dogs. He has some really pretty blue tick hounds and of course some rat terriers. Mabel would have been in heaven. The blue ticks have much deeper howl than Mabe's. I might need to take her for lessons. :-)

Seeing my Aunt Betty with my Mom and Aunt Joan is funny. It's so like me and my family. Betty is a lot younger than the other sisters too. There was a lot of us and I tried to explain how everyone went together to Sal... not sure she got it all - but she had a good time nonetheless. :-)

Mabel didn't get to go south with us. She ran away on Thursday afternoon and spent the weekend in doggie jail at Animal Control. Tiny and Chunk both cried when they found out she wasn't coming. :-)

When we returned to Bolingbrook we found that the house was a wreck and the Daddy of Sal's Little People was missing! Oh, there was hell to pay! :-)   The good thing was that Bill had made enough on the garage sale to cover my ticket. ;-)

Helping With Reading

2010-10-08T15:43:00.000-05:00

Since my recent "unfortunate unemployment", I emailed the teachers I know and told them that I was available and wouldn't mind helping in any way I could. I think I hardly hit the send button before hearing back. :-) I'm now helping with Guided Reading in JES 5th grade. It is a GREAT time. I have a good group of kids and I love the books that were picked out. There's something about just being at school that puts me in a good mood. Probably because I'm not in charge of teaching them, or guiding them. :-) I have the life of a Grandmother when I think about it. I get them for an hour - I can wind them up and then send them back.
:-) Anyway.....

As I was talking to Jack about being there - I'm in a hallway that Jack doesn't go down often - he asked if I could eat lunch with him after I was done helping. "I'll buy your lunch if you want to eat with me, Mom."

Is that not cute? He'll buy my lunch with the card that he gets from school with my money. :-) Oh, he's so like his father. :-)

Magic Class Truly Magical

2010-10-08T15:25:00.000-05:00

Jack had a Magic class at the Park District last night, and as I was sitting in the waiting area I noticed there were JBSRA members floating around . A Special Needs team then walked in and asked where the gym was, so I decided to go find out what they were playing and watch for a while. As I approached the gym I saw Aaron, Mark, Kelly and a lot of the other people we know from Adult Basketball. They were playing volleyball so I took a seat and watched.

As usual, I teared up. I just love to watch them. The vast majority of special needs people are by far the most inspirational, happy, and positive people on the planet. They make you acutely aware of what's REALLY important in the world. They take the world truly as it is. I always feel very honored to share the world with them.

When I picked up Jack from his Magic class I asked if he'd want to go watch. Well, of course. :-) I really like that about Jack. He seems so at ease to celebrate with others and to high five adults he only knows through Sal's things.

The funniest thing was that night when we got home and showed Bill and Sally all of Jack's magic. After the whole "show" was done Jack had things for me to sign school the next day and when I asked Sally what number the day was and she answered, Jack popped off with "Sally, how do you always know what day it is?"
"I'm magic, Jack" she replied with the most sober face.

Boy, ain't THAT an understatement! ;-)

Mabel Blog

2010-10-04T14:09:00.002-05:00

http://www.mabelthemenace.blogspot.com/ I've started a Mabel blog. I have NO idea where it's going to take me. Come, lets journey together. :-)

Sick

2010-09-19T19:18:00.000-05:00

It started as a runny nose, then on to my chest and has really set up camp there. It's been two weeks and I'm still hacking. That icky part where you can't get "it" up or down. Ewwww. AND with it is this stiff neck. Not a meningitis pain when bending neck forward or backward but a pinched nerve kind of pain all the time. :-/   It just stinks.

Bill got it and so did Sal. Sal was very minimal and Jack seems to be totally unaffected. Like I always say - there's no germ ever going to invade Jack's body - too dirty. :-)   Kind of the same reason that Mabel never gets sick.

Big garage sale here this weekend. Got rid of a lot of stuff in the garage. Of course Bill's already made plans to fill it next weekend. :-) He has so much fun out there.

I'm seriously thinking about doing daycare out of the house again - but not too soon. I'm really enjoying my free time and kind of "finding myself" (and my house) :-)

Aunt Jill comes next weekend. Sally has been talking about it all month. I'm hoping that she will be able to help me understand my new sewing machine and help me pick out some fabric and patterns.

I've also been asked to help with guided reading at school. I can't wait. We start next week. I can't believe what some people consider acceptable books for their kids. There's just such crap out there. It's just all junk - no rhyme or reason or plot.   Not to mention how people read.   Just sad. I know in the grand scheme of things it's not the hugest problem, but like the teachers in middle school and high school - I feel MY obsession should be the most important to everyone. :-)

LOTS of problems with the school board lately. I could go on and on and on about the horrible behavior they have shown lately.   I just shake my head at people who get SO upset about how things are and how our children behave but set examples of the WORST behavior. When are we going to hold ourselves to a higher standard? Kind of like signs I see (or people for that matter) that call the President stupid and stupid is misspelled. This is the price of freedom. Of everyone having a say. Even the stupid ones. :-)

And while I'm on the subject ---- could we ALL please, both sides, STOP with the Hitler references. NO ONE is like Hitler. It not only waters down the evil that he was but also shows a genuine lack of knowledge of history. I just squirm every time I hear someone compare anyone to Hitler. We will NEVER know the depth of atrocities that were committed by that man (thank God).   I'll step off my soapbox now. :-)

13 years ago

2010-09-14T10:35:00.000-05:00

13 years ago - I was in Hinsdale Hospital having slight contractions and the Drs were trying to figure out how to stop them and keep me pregnant. It was a little touch and go that week. When we left the house on Thurs the 11th we were SO excited. We were high fiving and calling everyone to tell them we were headed to the hospital because my water had broke.

Later that morning Wilk came in with a very serious look on his face. Things weren't as far as we thought. Sal was early and they were scared she wouldn't be able to eat or breathe. I'll never forget how very quickly the mood changed.

So, they managed to keep me pregnant 3 more days and on Sunday when contractions started they decided maybe we should bring her out - c-section. Well, there was something I didn't think would happen. The only chapter of the book I hadn't read was the c-section part. :-)

As I look back I think I may have been in shock. It seemed very out of body for me. Things seemed to steamroll along that Sunday. Surgery prep, epidural, extra IVs, being rolled here and there. I remember a LOT of tugging on my tummy - I felt I was being moved down there and then all of a sudden the Wilk was holding up this bloody baby and Lannie was saying "2:10 and it's a girl and she's so pretty and she's POOPING!" :-) Being strapped down and not being able to hold her right away was a nightmare.

They left with her. Bill left. The doctors all talked about the Bears game and about Disney - I think someone was going to go there soon. They left. A nurse came in and wheeled me to some room and put all kinds of warm blankets on me. That felt so good but then the shaking started. I shook like one of those bumble balls. I'd try and talk myself down "relax, it's ok, stop, you're fine." The shaking would stop and then the blood pressure bag on me would start up and the shaking would start all over again. It was horrible.

After a while someone came and got me and took me to my room. They asked me to crawl from gurney to my bed. Being all numb, it felt like I was crawling on a cloud. At one point I even asked the nurse if I was moving at all. It felt SO weird. I made it through the night and kept looking at a Polaroid picture of the little girl. The next day was awful - I felt like a truck hit me, but seeing Sal was GREAT. Bill came and held her while I watched. They laid her on my bed and I was able to feed her and to play with her. She slept - A LOT. We had to wake her every 3 hours to feed her. 3 days later we were both able to come home.

13 years later and she's more than made up for that 5 pound start she had. And she still wants to eat every 3 hours. :-)

Sal woke this morning and announced to the house in her big outdoor voice, that it was her birthday and that we should all be wishing her a happy birthday! We had cinnamon rolls for breakfast - with candle and sang to her. She packed her goodies up in her back pack along with a note for everyone to join her at Culvers tonight. Granpa and Granma called. Aunt Lonnie called. She was so happy to hear from them. She has gotten mail all week and every piece is met with an expression as if it was the best one. She's something.

Happy Birthday, my dear Sally. May you always be as happy as you are now.

Fall Returns!

2010-09-08T16:23:00.000-05:00

I love this picture. I don't know who any of these kids are - I'm guessing at least one belongs to someone I went to school with. This is the front line of Central Panther football. I wish we would have done this in our year. :-) I remember our guys looking MUCH bigger. :-)

God, I LOVE this time of year! The windows open, the crisp mornings and wonderful afternoons.

School's IN!!!

2010-09-06T19:51:00.000-05:00

Oh, thank God, school has started. I kissed Sally's bus driver on the lips when he pulled up to take her away. :-) jk She is SO excited every morning when we get ready. Jack is doing well too. They both love school. I like that.

Behavior program is back for Sal and she's doing well. I love to listen to her stories when she gets home. I'm really enjoying being home for them. (her mostly)

Jack had curriculum night at JES last week. It was interesting. In our packet of things (ie: sample report card, what they expect him to master in 4th grade etc.) was a sample copy of a referral and an expulsion. I'm lost as to why these are included. I mean - *I* know that if I do horrible things I will go to jail - I don't need to *see* jail. I never once got a referral in school - so I never saw one. Hmmm. As I told Jack - "this will be the ONLY time I'll see this". Maybe we don't expect enough? I EXPECT Jack to do his best - yes, I expect that he will get in trouble at times but I also EXPECT that being called down will suffice and he will NOT have the problem again.

Jack literally clothes lined himself last weekend. He was playing in the Hot tub and as he jumped out he did his Jeff Hardy stuff and hit his mouth almost exactly where his stitches had been. We took a little trip to BMC. As we were waiting for the Dr he was telling me that he was going to invent a TV/Computer that would be only for rich people. "Just so I know, are we rich?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah..." he answered like I was an idiot. :-) That made me smile. Things are good in Jack's world. He's found a whole gaggle of brothers at J&J's. Sally is getting better at not being *too* odd for him. The bossing still sends him up a wall - but he's learning to deal.

School Registration

2010-08-17T22:07:00.000-05:00

Lot happening this week. Jack got braces put on Monday - stitches were dissolved and looking good. Sal registered for 7th grade! Jack registered for 4th grade! It's crazy to think of them being so old. *I* don't feel any older. :-)

Tonight both of my darlings are sick. Sal's been having accidents all day and then after registration, Jack complained of a headache and wanted to go to bed. They've both been asleep since 7pm.

It really stinks when they're sick.

Our good friend, Oscar (coach of Sal's basketball and swim team) has had a pretty nasty accident and has been put in a coma to stay for over a month. I don't know a bunch about it - Sandy told me on fb. Just never seems fair. He's a 20 something and has SUCH a good heart. We had the best time with him at State and other tournaments. He is SO good with the kids. He was the one that as he watched Sal do the back float (ALL limbs moved a lot but the body went no where) you could see in his face he was fighting everything not to jump in the pool and push her. :-) Things don't sound good for him at all - but I hope that someone has got the info wrong and he'll be fine.

Jeremy got home from vacation today and Bill is on cloud 9. :-) They're at the shag tonight - I'm the good Mom who stays with the sickies. :-) I'm so glad that Bill has a friend like Jer. It's good for him to get out and kind of download. Jeremy is good for him - even if he's a republican. :-)

The Jubilee starts this week (the Village's fest). We've had talks all year with Jack about why we were not attending Village functions. He's had quite the civics lessons this year. We explained to him that even though Daddy's job would probably never be in jeopardy (he's been there over 20 years) it's the fact that you must stand for what's right. Even if it makes no difference - it makes you able to lay your head down at night and know you did what your head and heart thought was best.

I got absolutely no flack about not getting to ride rides or go to the fest. I'm very proud of the little goober sometimes.

Parents of children with autism: We struggle alone - KansasCity.com

2010-08-14T12:18:00.000-05:00

Parents of children with autism: We struggle alone - KansasCity.com

Good article. It IS lonely. And yes, people DO shy away from you - but you learn that it's probably for the best. It's THEM that are missing a pretty fantastic kid.

The thing with Sal is that she's that nursery rhyme. "When she was good she was good and when she was bad, she was horrid." And the horrid part doesn't seem to be able to stop sometimes. It can become a very vicious circle.

I'm to the point that I'm not sure I really want a cure. Who would she be? I love Sal - just the way Sal is. I only wish I could understand the meltdowns more. I wish we could find a cure for the bathroom accidents. I wish she could do more with her hands. But that all makes Sal who she is. She is the TRUE test of love unconditionally. Some people don't pass that test. :-)

It IS exhausting, and I can empathize with the mother that killed her child and then herself. I am by no means excusing that - but I know where she's coming from. I pray every night that I live just one day longer than Sal. And mostly because I don't want her to go through the heartache of loosing me and then being all alone in a world that doesn't quite make sense to her.

I always look to the mothers of the adult special needs. THEY are the real hero's. In those days there was NO info about this stuff - and yes, they were looked down on BIG time! I get those comments - but I just slip one of the business cards I have made up that explain what the problem is. I LOVE the look of shame on their face after they read it. :-)

I also love hearing mothers "complain" about the VERY insignificant things in their lives. Sal has really put things into perspective for me. I also SO appreciate the people that take the time and DO come into our lives. I tend to gravitate towards REAL people who have kind of a dark humor. They seem to "get" me more. They don't gasp if you say how really TIRED you are of your kid. :-) There's not many, believe me. You can't pretend to be something you're not with Sal - she'll call you out. She's like a horse in that way. :-) I think that's why they all seem to gravitate toward her.

Back to the cure thing. I don't know if we'll see it or even if I want to. What I want more is TOLERANCE. It's a fine line - I expect her to do what she can - I expect her to try and hold it together but I want people to be tolerant when she doesn't . Not to treat her as a baby but to expect her to succeed but be ok if she doesn't. Crazy, crazy life and since I know no other - I'm very scared to change it. :-)

Friends from the Hood

2010-08-13T17:48:00.000-05:00

We all went into Shorewood the other night to meet Allen and his Mom, Mary Ann - who - used to live down the street from Bill and his family when he was growing up. Allen is Special Needs.

I always find it so inspirational to meet people and their families (namely Moms) who did it all BEFORE law 501 and inclusion. BEFORE a lot of the stigma was lifted (it's still there - but not NEAR as bad). I have to say - I was not let down. Talk about neat people!!!!! Mom is divorced (80% of us are who have Special Needs kids) and she raised 3 boys!!!! Talk about cross to bear! :-) I have ONE boy and find it VERY difficult. :-)

Allen is GREAT! Mary Ann did a FANTASTIC job. He's handsome and very well mannered. He has a job and has worked there for over 25 years! It just gives me such great hope for Sal. Boy, if we can get her to where Allen is - DANG! And again - I remind myself he came through the era where we knew SO little. I got some GREAT advice and felt very supported.

What a great night.

Vacation Cont.

2010-08-10T21:57:00.002-05:00

Monday we went to see Brad and Becky's new house - NIIIICCCEEE!!! We also visited Illini West High School and sat in Mr Gooding's office. I told my kids it was to be the one and ONLY time they would be in a HS Principal's office. :-) He must be pretty good at his job - he has TWO secretaries! :-) So Lincoln and Jack has to part ways. Dang, they had a good time.

Tuesday the girls went to Quincy and bought fabric and stuff for my tee-shirt quilt. I went home thinking I would make it and kind of wound up giving it to Aunt Jill to do. :-) Figure she needs something to occupy her time. She just doesn't have enough to do. :-) We had a really nice time, though.

Wednesday we went to the horse show at the fair. Mary Scott got 3rd in her class (and there were 17!) . Tod and Rachel bought a FEMA trailer and fixed it up to live at the fair for the week. Two of their 4 children show livestock. We hung out there for a while. Rachel amazes me. I thought *I* was patient and tolerant. I can't handle the chaos like she does. What a nice trailer though - until you think about someone called it *home* and not "vacation" for a week.

We always have such a great time with the Perry's. Our kids all get along so well. I hope that continues. Jack got to stay and spend the day with them at the fair while the rest of us went back to Aunt Jill's to get ready for Maddux's birthday party that night.

We picked up Jack from the fair and headed into Quincy. We had to kill a little time before the pizza was ready so we headed over to West Quincy to get gas. Jack was amazed that we went to a whole other state "just to get gas". We also showed him the barge on the side of the road that had floated over when the levy broke in 93. We then picked up the pizzas and headed over to Upper Morman Park. The kids had a GREAT time until..........

Jack fell while playing on the playground and went headfirst into a metal step. Since I've lived with Jack for 9 years now I don't get too shook up when he starts to scream because he is SO dramatic! But the blood was gushing pretty good. We got him laid down on the picnic table and put some ice and pressure on it and let him chill. He fell asleep and the rest of us got into a squirt gun fight where Aunt Jill/Grandma Jill got doused with a whole cup of water. I hung out with Uncle Mike and since he's in a wheel chair - the rule was you couldn't squirt him. :-)

After about an hour I checked his mouth again and got new pink blood. Ok, bleeding that doesn't stop kind of bothers me and so we decided to make a trip to the ER at Blessing Hospital.

As we were checking in it dawned on us that we had been there almost 13 years to the day for Bill's finger that he cut while preparing Brad and Becky's rehearsal dinner.
:-) Jack was a real trooper. He got 4 stitches up on the upper gum and lip. We were in and out in about an hour and a half. We even saw the helicopter land. (the same helicopter that took Uncle Mike to the hosp after his accident).

Thursday was our traditional trip to HARNESS RACING! Ok, I could seriously get addicted to this. I LOVE watching the races and also LOVE betting. We do this thing where - as soon as we get there we go through the book and read all the names and each kid picks who they think will win in each race. Sally got 5/8!!!!! And on one of them she picked a real long shot and got more than $16 (we only bet $2.00 on each race). I picked 2 - Big Daddy Woo Woo (who I bet on last year too) and Natalie - I pick them for things that mean something to me( "Natalie's Nightie" was the play my sister was in this year) . I obviously have NO connection to the universe. :-)

Friday we drove back to Bolingbrook. The ride was HORRIBLE! I think Sal had held back the autism so much that it all just came spilling out! :-) Also we ran into construction so 4 hours quickly turned into 5. Mabel wasn't too keen on coming back either. As we packed up the car she slipped off into the pasture and just didn't listen when we called. :-) Aunt Jill hung back and pretended to not be going anywhere while we took off for Granma's and Granpa's. Mabel came back and Aunt Jill grabbed her and brought her into town. :-) She's been depressed ever since. You can tell - she wants to be a farm dog. :-)

She had the BEST time being out and without a chain ALL week. When we left she got to stay outside and be with the big dogs. :-) When we came home she was ALWAYS ready to come in and get out of the heat. Poor Tiny was really miserable. St Bernard hair is NOT meant to go though IL summer humidity. Aunt Jill lets him in to cool off and he sets up camp in the downstairs bathroom (the tile is so cool there). What's really funny is as you turn into the bathroom to use the facilities here is this HUGE dog just laying there. Sally wanted to know how she could close the door and we had to tell her to just go with Tiny in the way - he doesn't mind.
:-)

Vacation

2010-08-07T19:48:00.002-05:00

So we're home from the big vacation. What a trip. We had such a good time! We stopped in to Granma and Granpa's when we arrived. They *love* to see Mabel - esp Granma - she's a BIG fan. Ha ha ha. We were served fresh corn on the cob and BLTs with Ts from the garden. It was very good. We visited a while and heard about Gma's gun. Yes, my 81 year old father bought my 79 year old mother a Red Ryder BB gun. She wants to scare the blackbirds away. I'm not sure who is crazier.

When we got to Aunt Jill's we have to 'catch up' with all the animals. It was raining a little and Tiny didn't want to come out of the garage - he's very delicate you know. :-) Aunt Jill is housing a horse (Kitkat) and a mule (DR) for a neighbor in exchange for mowing of the fields. The mule is really kind of cool. He loves to chase Mabel. :-)

Bob Cat and Miss Kitty came out to greet us, but Booger stayed in the red barn and from what I understand only comes out to meow when he's being fed and then hides back in the shadows. My sister has some real strange animals. :-)

Brad and Becky and the boys came out and we had Jill's world famous lasagna. Sally has asked me over and over to make that (and you know how well Sal talks sometimes - lasagna doesn't sound like lasagna when she says it). Lincoln stayed overnight. Lincoln and Jack are definitely cut from the same cloth~ :-)

Saturday was Kid Day at the fair - which means arm band day and they can ride rides from 1-5. As always it was the HOTTEST, STICKIEST day, but we packed up, found a halfway un-muddy parking place and headed in. They had a BLAST! Rachel and her crew caught up with us and so did Cindy and her grandkids. Maddux and Bill appeared a little after we got there and you should have seen the welcome he got. All the boys hugged and then ran to get in line at the bumper cars. :-)

Aunt Jill rode rides too. Maddux drove her into Lincoln's bumper car and Sal was Lincoln's backseat driver. Lincoln is VERY headstrong and Sally *loves* to tell him what he should do - they're like oil and water. :-) But at a fair - EVERYONE gets along. :-)

We played our two games at the end of the day and then headed to Golden to picnic in the park with Uncle Mike. Uncle Mike scooted himself over while Aunt Jill walked. I pulled my traditional "run in to pee" at Mom and Dad's. ........When I was growing up my grandma lived only one block away and there were MANY times when the siblings came home for the weekend that I literally ran down to Gma's to pee and ran back (we only had one bathroom).

Lexy (who had been sick) and Mick met us and we dined on sandwiches, chips, bananas and grapes and of course chocolate cake. It was a lot of fun and my home town park has a GREAT playground.

Oh the Places You'll Go

2010-07-29T09:21:00.002-05:00

We hit the road tomorrow. Stop 1 is Gma and Gpa's for lunch (a tradition) then on to Aunt Jill's. Sat is ride day at the fair. All cousins are going with and maybe Uncle Mike - though we're trying to talk him out of it because it's 1. SO hot 2. VERY bumpy ground 3. He's a pain in the butt. :-) (But #3 has never stopped us from taking him before) :-)

Friends are showing steers and horses - which will be a lot of fun for my kids to see. Mary Scot gets to stay over at the fair with her steer - they actually sleep in the stalls with the livestock. Jack couldn't believe that. Whole different world for my guys.

Sally is excited to ride rides - even though she's not too into the big stuff and she's getting too big physically for the little stuff. She still likes to go and sometimes Jack can talk her into big stuff and then the faces she makes are priceless. We picnic in the park after rides (another tradition).

Demo Derby on Wed and Harness Racing on Thursday. Would LOVE it if the kids picked all winners and we could walk out of there with TALL cash. Ha ha - we usually bet $2 on each race. :-)

Camp is still going well. I love it that when I pick them up they are FULL of stories of the fun they've had through the day. Jack eats a quick snack and then he's off to the neighbor's. Sal has to download a little - she usually hits her room and plays "camp" with her people.

We pass the Library each day on the way to camp and the carpenter's union has been on strike. Of course Jack asked about it and so I gave him my happy clappy liberal idealism about what unions do. :-) So we began honking each day and waving. Since no other workers would cross the line - there was no one working. The other day they were working (the union got their contract signed) and so we talked about that and at the end of the convo I said "So every one's working, now." And not missing a beat - from the back seat Sal says "except you, Mom." :-) Thank you Sally.

Jack has been very curious (as much as Jack ever is on a subject - his attention span matches that of a gnat) about government workings. We explained that we would not be attending Village functions this year - due to their horrible treatment of Public Works and Police and Fire. As I told Jack that there was little chance that Daddy would loose his job he asked about why Bill attends the board meetings and boycotts things. As I explained that as you go through life you must stand up for what you believe in and always fight for the underdog he piped up with "like when *next door* calls Sally names and her and I go home". EXACTLY!

The kids next door are horrible. I got into it with the "mother" (there's 4 adult females over there). She's one that believes her children. Rooky. Thinks her children don't swear or say mean things to Sal because they don't do it in front of her. Well, there's logic for you! Ughhh. So I'm SURE those kids will NEVER be in trouble with any authority. PAlease! I know Jack is a lying weasel and he knows that I know. :-) Autism doesn't allow Sal to lie - but she does get confused as to when something happens. So you have to decipher things with her. BUT on a good note - the children next door have moved!!!!! YAY! I *think* there's still one female over there - which I'm guessing is Gma, and I think she's staying. But no kids - yay! My kids and Tommy down the street always played very well - until those kids came into the picture. They were MADE to stay outside from the time they got up till night time - and I mean stay outside - so they sat on their front porch and made things miserable for the others. I agree with kids being outside - but you can't just put them out there with nothing. In the summer I allow almost everything to go outside. Sal's dollhouse and people have taken up residence on the front porch. Jack has taken out cards and a couple of wrestlers. I've NEVER seen them or Tommy just sit on the porch and do nothing ALL afternoon. Adults always screw things up. (just ask Jack) :-)

Mabel has been resting up to play farm dog next week. She LOVES being out there - she stretches out as she runs top speed and she's only a couple of inches above the ground. Of course Chunk and Tiny (the *real* farm dogs) look at her like "why waste so much energy pup?" I swear you can see it in their eyes "city dog doesn't know nothin". :-) It's the getting there that's hard with Mabel. She sits in the back of the car and howls at cars that come up behind us. (rolling my eyes)

What Should I Be?

2010-07-21T07:24:00.002-05:00

I recently had to attend a "workshop" at IDES on how to get employed. When I explained to the kids where I was going because I got all this "you look nice, Mom, where are you going?"..... I told them that I was going to a meeting where people would help me decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. Since this conversation, Sally has come up with everything from Science Teacher to Doctor to Garbage Lady for me "to be". Seriously, she must have talked for an hour about what I should be. "You work at Chuckee Cheese, Mom"...... "You be a Police, Mom" . It was quite comical.

Because of the insurance that we bought to fund Sally's Special Needs trust - neither one of us is allowed to ride a motorcycle. This has never been a problem till Jeremy entered our lives. :-) He's a big biker and now Bill has the bug. Jeremy, knowing that Bill wants to ride but can't had a brilliant idea to buy a Dune Buggy for Bill! Can I just say - they got it - they went out in it and came back COVERED in mud and the BIGGEST smiles!!!! So their goal is to get it street ready and take trips around here.

Jack has become one of the gang down at Jer and Jen's. All 6 kids treat him like the brother they have. :-) He LOVES being with them. I think he really likes having siblings that don't have so many "problems". It's a nice break for him. Sal and I get some quality time then too. :-) Sally loves to go over and hang in the hot tub. Jeremy dials it down for the kids and they hop in and out of it and jump on the trampoline, swing on the swing set, generally run amok. :-) They're so good to Sal. Jeremy always tells her that she is his best friend. ;-)

I have decided to write a book (or books) about Mabel. The October list has badgered me about it and now friends on facebook say the same thing. From talking to the girls who have had books published the advice is that I should set up a time each day and write. Set a timer and do it. I'm gonna give it a shot. I've been taking a bunch of pictures of her to illustrate the book. God knows she's given me enough data. :-)

We're all looking forward to vacation. We'll be truckstering downstate again, to Aunt Jill's and the Adams County Fair and Brown County Fair (horse racing). There's several people we'd like to get in touch with. Tod and Rachel top the list. Can't wait to see the kids.

Back to my job search. I'm really not looking so much - I've decided to be a SAHM. (Stay At Home Mom). I figure I can volunteer at school, and always be there for Sally's stuff - which is getting more and more. The girl has a social calender that rivals the Queen. :-) I am thinking of going back to school ......again. I don't know.

It's been a little tougher here lately. You know how "great" (pfffttt) I am with transitions and Sal's been having bathroom problems more and more. :-/ I'm hoping we can be on some sort of level ground by the start of school.

The 4th and All

2010-07-07T07:57:00.002-05:00

Whoa - this weekend was a blur. We started Sat morning at 7 am and left for Darien parade. We helped Jeremy with his Prince Patios entry. On the way to the parade ALL children rode with Jen in the van. Bill and were left ALONE to drive the dump truck. It was the most PEACEFUL ride I've had in a LONG time. :-)

The kids all piled in the back of the dump truck at the parade and proceeded to bean people with dum-dums and tootsie rolls through the parade. We had a BLAST! We then retired to THE Shag and had a bar-b-que. The kids ran through the sprinkler, jumped in the water on the trampoline, in and out of the spa, and basically ran amok. :-)

We were ALL tired when we tucked in that night. Sunday we slept in and returned to Jeremy's to participate in Lisle's parade. *I* got to drive the Prince Patio's Explorer and Sal rode with and we both threw out candy. Driving and throwing is no easy task. ;-) Plus, at Lisle, the crowd is VERY close to the vehicles. It was a lot of fun.

Jeremy has a motorcycle with side car on it - Sadie (age 3) rode in there and threw candy. It was SO cute. Jer led the way then Jen, in the "fire van" , me in the Explorer, and Bill in the dump truck. I realized that afternoon that my kids had been accepted into the Fox family when Katelynn gave Jack AND her brother flack in the same tone. :-) Makes me very happy.

We all went to watch fireworks together. Jen took Jack and we took Katelynn. It was really nice to have a teenager in the car . I think it's so great for Jack to be around the Fox kids - to see what it's like to be a little brother (and big brother) to "typical" kids. They actually came looking for the kids on Monday afternoon! Katelynn and Andrew rode their bikes over and asked if Sal and Jack could come to their house. THAT is nice.

Anyway the fireworks were ok. Not worth a public service job - but ok. We managed to sit in the crying baby area of the village. DANG. There was a reason Sal never saw fireworks till she was like 8. It's just too much for some kids. By that time, they're tired and sun beat and just nasty. Don't try and comfort them through it - TAKE THEM HOME! They'll get to see fireworks ALL their life. But this particular family felt it their duty to make sure EVERYONE got to hear their precious scream at the top of his lungs - over and over and over and over. Ughhh.

On the way home, we stopped and got the traditional Frostee . Little Sadie had the best time , there were so many fireworks going off all around that she couldn't stop looking everywhere with her eyes wide open. She is a cutie.

Mabel made it through the night and didn't seem to be TOO affected. At one point in the night Sally asked if there was someone at the door (the booms sounded like knocks to her) ;-)

Mabel has a new trick of getting the pantry door open and getting into the garbage. She brings the whole bag out and goes through one by one while dining under the kitchen table - until you get home and as soon as she hears "oh, Mabel" you hear scampering and then sliding under the couch.

Catch Up

2010-06-21T06:56:00.002-05:00

So, it's been a while again. Sometimes life gets a little too fast for me. The transition between school and camp is one of those times. I'm never quite prepared, plus this year, they threw in Summer school for Sal. So far it's working quite well. She gets on the bus around 7:10 and then I take Jack to camp around 8:30.

Oh yeah - I was laid off. I had to take too much time for Sally and it resulted in me being let go. Just as well. I really need a lot of time off this summer because of Summer school. Strange, but the older Sal gets the more I'm needed. Kind of the other way around from a "typical" child.

Speaking of typical child. He's done with baseball - we think. We thought he was done last week but the Hot Rods had other ideas. :-) We had dentist appointments on Saturday and after we were done I suggested we stop by the ball field on the way home and see how the Hot Rods were doing in the play offs. As we got out of the car Karen yelled over for Jack to get his glove - they needed a 9th player. Brought back memories of stories of Swisegood that tooled around the tri-state area with his glove and bat looking for a game. :-) So, we bribed him and I ran home and got a cup and pants and cleats and he took the field. :-) They lost so now it's the Aeros and the Blue Claws to play for the title. The two nastiest teams. Well, not the kids - but the coaches. Seems they really get their identity from how many times their teams can win. Sad. Adults really ruin a LOT of fun things for kids because they put THEIR agenda into it.

Sally is having bathroom issues again. It's SO frustrating! I'm trying VERY hard to keep it together and not get upset and put stress on her.

We've had a lot of storms lately and Mabel has spent the majority of time under the couch. She is hardly small enough to get under there. She has to slide in on her side and when she moves even a little you can feel it when you're on the couch. She's also figured out how to open the pantry door, and get into the trash. We keep (we used to) old empty grocery plastics hung on the door and she figured out that if the door isn't closed tight a Mabel can pull on those bags and the door will pop open. :-) Sometimes I see such glimmers of intelligence but most of the time she just seems dumb as dirt. :-)

My sister is up to her eyeballs in stress, as usual. The Nursing Home, in all their "wisdom" has decided - I have a feeling it's a state thing - that Mike should "go home". He still can't open the door to get out in case of fire - but that doesn't seem to matter. There's a lot of things that make no sense in this decision. He now is across the street from his Dr's office - he can - and has literally rolled his chair across the street for appointments. When he has his UTI's - which are darned near every month - it's MUCH easier for an ambulance to get to the Nursing Home (on County roads) than down a one lane dirt road to Missy's. Not to mention he has a whole bunch of people to talk to now. And if he doesn't care for one of the staff members he has 4 others to choose from. If he doesn't care for a particular at home nurse - he's stuck. I don't know. Like most everything - it's CRAZY. So anyway, it's up to my sister to get equipment brought in to move him and then hire 24 hour care and then see to him at home too - not to mention the insurance and finance etc - that has been almost a 40 hr a week job - oh and yeah - she has a full time job also. Which is the one thing keeping her sane - and that ain't saying much. I wish I could help - but how?

I'm really enjoying being home full time. I don't get as much accomplished as I thought I would - but I'm getting there.

Blah......

2010-06-05T19:26:00.003-05:00

It's been a little tough here lately. Seems I'm just a little stuck. You know how you kind of get in a funk - for really no reason - just kind of zone out of life for a while. I think I tend to do this more than most.

I worry about Sal. Almost every transition brings these kinds of feelings. I *know* she's going to be ok - but I'm always wondering what I could have done better, different.

So, school's out and Sal starts summer school on Tuesday. They both go to camp on Monday. I think both Sal and I are a little anxious about summer school. It's the whole school - camp thing. Once we do it a couple times we'll be ok.

Our baseball team is now 2-10. That sure doesn't show the progress of this team and their heart. They are really starting to play well and they've always been SO good at helping each other through tears and celebrating the success'. They are a really cool bunch of kids. They really crack me up while we sit in the dug out together.

Mabel has been extra crazy lately. She refuses to believe that she cannot chew gum. I find her with some every once in a while and then plying it out of her mouth is a real joke. She tried to hang herself outside one night. We came home from baseball and found she had somehow wound herself around things, jumped down through the deck and when she tried to jump back she got hung up. Her little feet just BARELY hitting the ground. Ugghh - she had me really worried that night - until we all started to get ready for bed and she beat me into mine. Until then she was all panty and laying down and howling if you picked her up. ughh - what a pain.

We have acquired a hot tub - or should I say hot pool. The thing is HUGE. Jeremy found it and we were #3 on the hot tub list. :-) We're getting elec hooked up today. Jeremy's guys made a very nice brick patio for it and we also bricked up the front hill. Things are *starting* to look nice around here - but it's a slow process. When all is done we hope to have a FLAT backyard too. Jeremy is gong to use our yard to dump dirt he doesn't need or can't sell and then we'll buy bricks to make a retaining wall back there. By the time it's done - maybe we can roll our wheelchairs back there . :-) It really would be nice to play horse shoes or something back there.

THE Boy's Birthday

2010-05-18T09:50:00.003-05:00

The Boy turned 9 this weekend. He loves to hear his birth story - I recounted all that happened leading up to his birth and then after. I think he just loves hearing how, just as now, he was the center of attention.

We played baseball on Saturday. We lost. Go figure. But again, we were only down one run. AND we only had 9 kids. Attendence is a big problem for us. Jack and Tommy got to go to Chuck E Cheese on Sat night and then Jack stayed over at Tommy's house overnight. (Tommy doesn't like to stay over anywhere - he gets scared still)
:-) Aunt Jill came up and we went shopping and garage saling. We always have a good time.

Bill's gearing up for his yearly garage sale. I'm getting rid of a lot of furniture and clutter. LOVING *that* feeling - HATING my garage looking SO bad.

I was home on Friday and Mabel and I were hanging out in the living room when we heard this HUGE bang outside. *I* went to the window and looked outside - *Mabel* howled once and scooted her big body under the couch. I could be killed and she wouldn't care as long as she could get under the couch. Sadie would have been right next to me looking for what made the noise. Oh, Mabel.

Sally's been having more problems in the bathroom. She didn't go to CCheese because she pooped in her pants. We have noticed that she can tell us exactly where she was when she pooped so we have decided that she is ABLE to control this and thus we have started to punish her. The tricky part is finding something that you CAN withhold AND that means something to her. School is a great thing - BUT - I have to be able to call in to work IF she does poop. It's a fine-line game, that's for sure.

Humor

2010-05-07T13:36:00.003-05:00

Humor, like many things is held in the eye of the beholder - it's relative. And for the most part nothing is off-limits when it comes to humor. Well, nothings off-limits to some people. And here is my point: I've recently been criticized for my "crass" humor about my children and husband on face-book. If you're not familial with my work - well, then you prob don't know me and what the heck are you doing reading this if you don't know me??? :-)

My life is CRAZY - yeah, I hear ya - yours is too. But, do you have a 12 year old that still poops in her pants? Do you have to go to yearly meetings to *decide* what route to take in your daughter's education? Do you *pray* that your daughter will one day be able to live alone? On and on and on I could go. So maybe crazy isn't the word - but CHALLENGING!

For the most part, we've done well. My family seems "relatively" normal (and you should meet my relatives) <--- get it, relatively.... :-) I think we've done a pretty good job of grieving in private. So anyway I was told that I should be GRATEFUL for all I have!!! And before you people that know me ask - the person is still alive - for now. :-)

There's a certain kind of "dark" humor that I have found to be of comfort. It's the kind of humor that laughs at the fact that I was ELATED when my daughter UN-buckled herself in the bus. The bus driver was not. But see, *I* was seeing that her hand strength had progressed to where she *could* do that! So, you see I AM grateful. Probably more than *some* people. I'm grateful for the hundreds of things that many take for granted. Eye contact, reading, singing (WAY off key - but singing), speaking so that clerks can understand you, strangers that treat my daughter like a PERSON, soft bowel movements. Ok, you've prob got the idea - I'll stop there. :-)

My sister has a para-pelagic husband now. I guess she should be *grateful* he's not dead. And she is - but I'd NEVER tell her that. Her humor, like mine is a little on the dark side. You have to laugh - believe me - you'd do nothing but cry. And like me she's grateful for the help she's received and all the good things - but she's just as PISSED that she has to go through it at all. We ALL have that kind of something. And even though we probably wouldn't trade our cross that we bear for someone else's, we still have the right to joke about it. It just fascinates me that people think they have the right to criticize how you're living your life when they, in fact, have NEVER even come close to living you life. This person is divorced, I'm not. This person didn't live with their children as they were growing up, they have grand kids, I do not. SO many things that are different - not to mention they have NEVER had a special needs child. So.... to you, the person who told me that I should be grateful..... BITE ME!
:-)

The Junk Yard

2010-05-04T13:44:00.004-05:00

Yes, Jeremy and Bill are gearing up for another garage sale and my garage is getting packed to the gills with "stuff". I'm attempting to go through the kids' stuff and get rid of some of *their* "stuff". :-) It's easier said than done, with Sal.

Sal is going to summer school AND she couldn't be happier! She told Gma and Aunt Jill all about it and that she was taking her backpack and all. It's too funny. We still aren't sure where school is - but we have had clearance from HHH. My team this year is another unbelieable one!!! They fight for stuff I don't even realize I want. ;-) If only people would realize how very much above and beyond MOST teachers, aides, directors, etc go.

Bill attended a Village Board meeting last week where the budget was voted on. Public Works got cut AGAIN and so did Fire and Police this time. All 3 Union reps were up Roger's butt explaining to the public how Roger has been lying about the Unions. The really crazy thing is - NO management cuts - AGAIN. So seriously, there's like 14 guys running 9. Does that make sense???? Wouldn't it be common sense that after the last cuts which were ALL blue collar - couldn't you cut down on management? I mean the population of Bolingbrook is not going down much - so you're going to need more blue collars to cover the last cut and now you do it again - when it's said and done will the Foreman run ANYONE? Or just sit in their office?

The real kicker was that *just* after the Public Works people were notified that they lost their jobs - Roger hired the contractors (landscape, etc) back. That's just sad. I guess I'm surprised that there are really those people out there - that their only motivation is greed. I really am green sometimes.

Bill and I have become coaches of Jack's Little League team. It happened something like this: Lisa (board member) called Bill to see if he'd be head coach - Bill said no because he doesn't get off till 5:30 and games start by then but that he would be assistant. Ok. The "Head" coach calls Bill and tells him he can't make the coaches meeting where they draft the kids. Ok, Bill goes. Then Bill finds out that this guy has been to NO coaches meetings and no he can't make practice either. Bill calls Lisa and tells her - he'll be the Head Coach and I will be his assistant. He then comes to me and tells me this. Gotta love that boy. :-/ No, really, it's been a lot of fun. Ok,some parents suck - but the kids are GREAT! We are now
0-5. :-) No, we're not very good. When Jack is one of the BEST players - you know we're in trouble. Don't get me wrong - Jack is ok - he loves to play - but he doesn't love to practice and he's always goofing off.

We have 3 little guys that are the same size, same color of hair, same build and at one point I asked one if I could call him Sal instead of Salvador and he replied "No, um... I'm Andy". :-) We also have another pair that look a lot a like (esp in hats and unifor) and they KNOW I have problems telling them apart and they PLAY me!!!! Saying "No, I'm not Brenden" when in fact, he is! :-)

But like I said - we - the coaches are having a ball. Don't know about the kids.
:-)

Brother-in-law has been in and out of the hosp again and again. The usual - UTI. They have *finally* put a stint in his arm so they can administer the antibiotic at the Nursing Home. I know Aunt Jill was happy to have that done. Trips to the ER in the middle of the night are NOT fun.

My Dad has taken emense joy in teasing the heck out of me about coaching. Asked if I wanted Swisegood's number. If I would make the papers for Winningest Coach. I really would LOVE to see him take Jack for a week and teach him how to pitch - but I'm not sure with Jack's attitude how long he'd last. ;-)

Jack has his spacer in and has done VERY well with it. The gap between his front teeth is getting so big you really could put a couple more teeth in thre but that's what we're working for and then the braces will push the teeth back. Mr Drama hasn't even cried with the teeth thing. Silly boy - if he only knew - he could really get me with this - I'm a real whimp when it comes to the dentist. But no, he takes that cranking 2 times a day like nothing - but a ball just brushes him and he's flopping like a fish. Dennis Rodman. We've even taken to calling him "The Worm". ;-)

The Brick (Sally) is now able to back float with NO floating devices. Ok, so barges move quicker in the Mississsippi - but hey, she's floating!!!!! She just LOVES swimming. When she found out there was no "swim team" in the summer she asked me if she could take swimming lessons. God, I love her. :-)

Jack has taken to getting a baseball game going between our house and Mr Chads. There's not a lot of room there AND he WAS using a league ball. We immedeately went to the store and purchased wiffle balls. My stress level was at tilt. So there's usually 3-9 kids in our yard now. I do like that they're always outside playing.

Mabel has been banished to the garage now, in her cage. She did a lot of chewing and dumpster diving and we scolded and warned so now she's been punished. She doesn't learn. But she's Mabel - what are ya gonna do.

Sally's in Print!

2010-04-10T16:18:00.004-05:00

Sally is portrayed in an article under the heading "The Road Less Traveled"

http://projectchoices.org/resources/newsletters.aspx

A Family’s Perspective
Sally began her inclusion experience by attending Developmental Kindergarten in the morning, coming home by bus to eat lunch and then getting on a bus and going to her “home school” for the afternoon kindergarten class. She was age 5, turning 6 that September. She spoke no words. She made very little eye contact and was very content to stay in her own little world.
Our want for an “all-day” home school experience for Sally was met with some resistance. However, we continued to push and explained that if it didn’t work we would simply stop. It was the best decision we’ve made for Sally. Since we began, she has flourished. She has many friends and in third grade was actually voted Vice-President of the class.
Fast forward now to 5th grade: she has participated in every school project. She is now a Patrol after school and has been using a laptop computer furnished by the district. She speaks well enough to communicate her needs, though we are still pursuing speech mastery. Sally can carry on a conversation, she jokes and looks people in the eye. She absolutely loves school. Every year brings more growth. We know we still have a long way to go; Sally is probably 3-4 years behind her peers in her curriculum, but we still rejoice at all the progress she has made.
We are positive that her success is ALL about relationships and the teachers, aides, therapists who have come into her life. EVERYONE who has touched our lives has made a difference and we are very grateful for it. There have been stumbles along the way, but I don’t know of a journey that doesn’t have some of those. Overall, we have received many more positive results than negative.
By Kelly Davidek, Sally’s mom

Easter With US

2010-04-10T16:10:00.002-05:00

We had Easter here this year due to the timing of seeing the Follies. It was really nice. The kids got up a 4 A.M.!!!!! BUT - after finding the eggs and seeing the goodies that were left they hunkered down on the couch and fell asleep watching cartoons.

We had ham, potatoes, corn, rolls, dev. eggs and strawberries. It was a really easy going day. We played Jack's gross out card game and then we set up his gross out experiments. Aunt Jill gave him a "Gross Out" science experiments project/thing for Christmas and we made the gelatin, put it in the petri dish and then swabbed his underarms, toe jam and mouth and then rubbed it on the gelatin and now we're waiting to see what "grows". :-) Jack is in heaven. It's SUCH a boy thing to see what disgusting stuff could grow between your toes. :-)

Easter on the West Side

2010-04-04T05:18:00.002-05:00

So we went to my brother's house for dinner last night. They have 3 kids - all who are grown and out of college. Jamie, the youngest, is student teaching right now and will graduate from UI in like 2 months. She was there and Jack had brought his report card to show off (mostly because he was SO surprised that he didn't have any B's = below district standards). On the comments of his report it said "tends to be a little chatty". I asked Jame if they teach that in Teacher Talk 101. Because the real world reads that as "this kid won't shut up". ;-)

She's going to make a good teacher - she's really excited and energized. Her "favorite" kid is someone who struggles SO hard, she says, but still has a great bubbly personality. It's cool how Jamie can see kids who don't "get it" so easy - when she was a kid who DID get it pretty easy. Good grades came easily for her than some and I think she's seeing it.

Dick and Laurena SWEAR they *miss* the bickering and the fighting (of which my kids gave out freely last night). I don't believe it. We had a really nice time. Even though my brother can't do chicken like my Dad (no one can) :-) It was pretty good. :-)

The FUNNIEST thing that happened was as all of us were sitting around the kitchen counter and the kids were playing Lego's in the living room, this HUGE black dog appeared at their back patio door. Then there appeared their neighbor. They opened the door and the dog went STORMING through the house - as if looking for something. When he came to the living room and saw the kids on the rug playing he "jumped" in surprise and barked. Come to find out - he was looking for Peyton. Peyton is my nephew's dog. I guess these two play together ALL the time - for hours! Peyton was just "visiting" last week because Peyton lives with Bob in Bloomington while Bob goes to school. (ISU) So when this dog encountered children on *their* play rug - he was just beside himself. It was SO funny! He was SERIOUSLY looking for Peyton and their neighbor had said that as they went for their walk - he had bounded out and come over - and he's so big she couldn't hold him. I can only imagine the fun those two must have.

Speaking of dogs. Mabel got to be outside while we were gone. She has to be on a chain but her chewed up cage is out on the deck and we put out some food and water and left her out (it was SO nice yesterday). She was HAPPY to see us return and she was TIRED - so some of that nice fresh air kind of tires her out *a little*.

Bill and I have been elected to be Little League coaches this year. He's head and I'm assistant. :-) We got our uniforms yesterday. We are the River Bandits. I've got a phone call in to Swisegood to tell him to make room on that "Winning est Coach in IL" trophy for my name! :-) We sat down and made out practice schedules and what we were doing at practices - and since we're concentrating much more on throwing and catching than on plays - we'll probably be in last place - BUT I DO think they will come out with GOOD habits and a lot of fun - and personally, I think that's what it's about.

Jack has shown he can get it over the plate pretty good. I'd really like for him to spend some time with my Dad and soak up some of his advice - but since Jack is Jack and life is crazy - that probably won't happen.

A big Happy Easter. Jack woke me at 3am to tell me what had been left in his basket and that the eggs were gone and hidden all around. We held him off till 4am when Sal got up and he told her all about it and so I got up and watched as they found all but 2 of the eggs and dove into their baskets. I kept thinking "there's NO way Dick and Laurena really MISS this!"

Natalie Needs a Nightie

2010-03-29T09:38:00.003-05:00

The Girls went on a road trip last weekend. Sally, Mabel and I all truckstered down to Aunt Jill's to watch her in the Windmill Follies production of Natalie Needs a Nightie. It was HYSTERICAL! My sister is amazing as an actress. It's so neat to see her up there - I don't see my sister - I see the character. She really does become the character and not just someone standing there delivering lines.

Sally enjoyed it too and was a little concerned when in the play they talk about the chamber maid, Rosebud (Aunt Jill), going to jail for stealing babies. After hearing *that* Sal sat up straighter and said "Aunt Jill can't go jail". I don't think anyone but our table heard it - but it was funny.

Aunt Jill left early - she had to get Uncle Mike from the Home and then go early to the play so Sal and I decided we'd go visit Grandpa. As we were getting ready to go Aunt Jill came tearing back through the lane - she had forgotten something. As she saw me putting Tiny (St Bernard) on the rope she said "you know, just leave him." (Tiny likes to go visiting. "Are you sure?" I questioned.

"Yeah, because Tiny won't go unless a cat goes and Mabel is keeping the cats away." (Mabel tends to howl at the cats - they ignore her and give her that *do you have a death wish* look) I had to laugh. That is by far the most common sense reason to why a dog won't go running off. Leave it to my sister.

And, when we returned home at around 10 pm - there they were - all 3 dogs and cats were out in the barn. I guess Mabel IS good for something.

I *got* to feed Uncle Mike at the play. :-) He can't hold a utensil anymore. He shakes SO bad that all the food falls off. One thing - he's pretty fast at eating. I could hardly spoon it in fast enough. It is like having a kid. He comes complete with his own clothing protector (bib) and water bottle and silverware. I'm not sure Aunt Jill had planned on having a child in her 50s. But he's still Uncle Mike and I still raz him just like I did when he could walk - and he dishes it out too. But it made me thankful for *my* little Special Needs one.

Granpa was glad to see Sally. She had brought her silver medal from basketball and I brought the book that Jack had written. We always try to bring presents. :-)

As usual we had dinner with Gpa and Gma on Sunday before we left (dinner=lunch in the "south") :-) Aunt Jill came along too - she had to do one more performance on Sunday for the Home residents. Dad gave her the business about when she was going to move to Hollywood. The local grocery store owner was in the play too - Keith Wilson. He's the son of a guy who went to school with my brother and OH my the stories that can be told about his silliness - anyway - their last name is Wilson so when my Dad goes up to the store he always yells "Hey Mr Wilson" at the meat counter (their office). He told Keith a joke that Keith used in his monologue before the play started. My Dad just beams when he tells jokes. :-)

The sad part of the journey was when Dad said he wasn't sure he was going to play golf this year. My Dad will be 82 this year and I realize things will be changing - but it's still sad. He said the biggest reason was because Squirty had died. Squirty was always at the golf course and would ALWAYS play - no matter what, and now with him not there Dad doesn't have someone to play with ALL the time. And "golf's no fun by yourself". Now mind you neither him or Squirt could hear worth a tinkers damn so it's not like they chatted up a storm as they played, but Dad just isn't sure he wants to play anymore.

Stuffed Head

2010-03-19T14:11:00.002-05:00

Jack has been to the Orthodontist recently and the Dr has literally rubbed his hands together in anticipation of the new Summer home, boat, and trip to Italy that Jack represents. :-) Seriously - the child has a TINY mouth. It's very hard to believe that something that's used THAT much and can be THAT loud is actually very small compared to the rest of us. He has TONS of teeth pushed up there in his skull that can't get out and we have to start with a spacer to make room for all of this.

As I was putting Jack to bed the other night he complained of a headache again. Jack has headaches pretty much since he started talking. Nothing severe - but I've never heard of children having *a* headache - let alone one every couple of days--- but that's Jack. And since Jack is knowing for his 'distortion' of the truth we don't pay it a big deal. BUT after seeing his x-rays I kind of wondered aloud to him that night that maybe his headaches have been because of all those teeth up there that are so crowded together.

'No, Mom." he said in that 'you're so stupid old woman' tone "It's because I have so many things stuffed up there."

"What?" I asked - thinking he may have shoved something up his nose or ears - this is Jack, after all.

"You know, like Math and Writing and Grammar and stuff" he said - totally serious. "that stuff is all crammed in there and it makes my head hurt sometimes."

I am SO amazed that I can hold my composure as much as I do with this child. He comes up with the most comical things. God love him. It's stuff like that - that saves his butt when I find my OLD books (as in NOT replaceable) all over my floor after he's been in there. Oh Jack Jack you are a treasure. :-)

On the Run, Run, Run

2010-03-11T14:32:00.003-06:00

So it's been crazy since we got back from Aunt Jill's. We had a GREAT time. Jack got to spend the night with my friend from H School's kids. Who would have ever thunk that when we were hanging out in HS. :-) Sally got to bum with her daddy and help set up and be in on all the behind the scenes.

Aunt Jill and I got there around 12 and walked around and saw ALL the stuff for raffle. If it wasn't there - you didn't need it - that's for sure. Seed for fields, gravel, fertilizer, tvs, spa packages, basketballs, you name it - and one that I thought was really cool: A baseball signed by Swisegood - the winning est baseball coach in IL. :-)

So after we got all settled in - Jill went to get Mike. Melissa and I sat at the table and tried to hold spaces. When Jill came back (she had taken Maddux and Sal) we got in line to get Sal something to eat. Dick and Laurena and Mom and Jackie were all out in the cafeteria and Sal saw them - but still got in line - didn't pay much attention--- until she saw Grandpa. "Hi There, Granpa!" She ran over to him and gave him a hug. Too cute.

It's now several weeks later and there are STILL checks coming in. So far they've raised over $64,000. In an area where $35,000 is a GOOD yearly income - that says a LOT! Not to mention that times are tough down there. I'd say the majority of our unemployment is in areas like that.

So, on to the next event. Swimming. Sally competed in the Special Olympic swim meet in Palos Heights. She won bronze. It was SO cool. I think she likes swimming the best. When she came back up to the stands with her coach after her heat she said "I swim again?" :-) I'm just SO proud of her on this. I also noticed that Jack was no place to be found most of the day - he was with a friend playing DSI and hardly saw him at all - UNTIL Sal swam. I then noticed that he was right up front at the rail, squatting down and cheering her on - with no prompting from us. He talks a big game about not wanting to be around her and how she bugs him so much (which is true) but I can tell there's a soft spot for her still. I'll never forget when he was smaller he called her his "big hero". :-)

Fast forward to last weekend. We all truckstered down to ISU in Bloomington for the STATE Special Olympics in which Sally's team (Jr Jaguars) played and the older group(Sr Jaguars) played. We went down Friday after work and checked in and watched the kids discover the hotel room. This was their first hotel stay ever. We got two queen beds and decided we'd each sleep with a child. With Sal and her "sleep alone and away" I was a little nervous.

The kids immediately got changed and headed for the pool. Where we met Tommy and his mom - a player on Sal's team. We stayed in for a while and then Sal and I headed upstairs to watch "Naughty Kids" (Supernanny to most of you). Figured I'd wind her down a little and get a grasp on how the night was to go. Jack and Daddy hung out in the lobby. Jack fascinated with the room key (credit card key) and was constantly visiting the coaches on the 3rd floor and coming in and out. He also enjoyed giving his key to the lady at the cafe and telling her to "charge it to the room". :-)

Had to play the bad a$$ on Friday night when Jack and Bill neglected to come back to the room in a timely manner. :-) We *played* at 8 a.m. on Sat which meant if we were following the bus we needed to be up early and it was obvious that Sal was NOT going to sleep until Daddy and Jack were safely tucked into bed. But as much as they grumbled they were seeing that the next morning the people they were "partying" with were nowhere to be seen. My Dad always says: If you stay up late with the Turkeys you can't soar with the Eagles in the morning. :-)

Saturday's game was a joke. I do believe the refs had never called a special needs game. They called "illegal screen" on us! Our kids don't even know what a screen is let alone an illegal one. Ugghh. So we lost - and Tony came very close to fouling out (NEVER have had even close to fouling out in the past). After the game
we went back to the room and got some lunch and just hung out. I was the mean Mom again who wouldn't let them go swimming. We had to play again at 12:30 and I felt like they would tire out too much.

Our 12:30 game was a LOT better - AND we had the same refs. But they had settled down and were obviously schooled about exactly what Special Needs ball is like. Our team took silver medals home. Sally was ALL smiles getting that silver medal hung on her neck as she stood on the podium. It was cute.

The next day we went to Wesleyan and watched the Senior team take gold. Aaron thanked the ref for calling a foul on him and was apologizing all over himself. They are a very quick and entertaining team to watch. Sally got to see Mark play. Mark and her have the same number - 21. They're a lot alike too.

And now to tell about what *I* think was the best part: The Opening Ceremony. All the teams from the state were marched in and introduced. They stood together in their areas (IL has 17 areas. Sally wore her jersey and her gold medal. She looked SO proud of herself. Mark sang the National Anthem. I do believe that was the first time I cried at that song. It was BEAUTIFUL! The Bloomington mayor welcomed us and the Pres of the Olympics gave a speech. Then the lights went out. In the far corner there was a policeman with THE TORCH! He brought it down the arena and gave it to one of the Athletes who brought it around the arena and through the tunnel and then up the stage and lit the cauldron. GOOSE BUMPS!!! HUGE lump in my throat. It was amazing! The cheering was deafening!

I can't explain just how energetic these kids are. The excitement from them hung in the air like stripes of gold. Even Jack was taken in by it. I think his mouth was in a permanent O for a while. After the ceremony there was a dance for all the kids but we decided we'd go back to the hotel and swim. Getting through the crowd was no easy task but they are the kindest and most polite kids. It was just a FANTASTIC experience. Our coaches Danielle, Heather and Oscar are just the BEST! What a fun group. They're always up for anything and they have the patience of Job.

We all had "favorites" from the weekend. Sally's was: Sleeping. I'd say because she didn't sleep alone like usual. Jack's was: Swimming (of course) Bill's was: the games Mine was the torch (and maybe how the beds were made when we came back to the motel - why can't that happen at home) :-)

Hundreds come together for Mike Gooding Benefit - WGEM.com: Quincy News, Weather, Sports, and Radio

2010-03-03T09:40:00.000-06:00

Hundreds come together for Mike Gooding Benefit - WGEM.com: Quincy News, Weather, Sports, and Radio

We were on Channel 10 News!

2010-03-03T09:38:00.000-06:00

BOWEN, Ill. (WGEM) -- Mike Gooding fell from his roof last May and ended up paralyzed from the waist down. He is restricted to a wheelchair and is living in a nursing home. The medical bills from surgeries keep piling up.

On Saturday afternoon, hundreds of Gooding's family and friends turned out for a benefit to help him through the most difficult time of his life.

"There are people from everywhere here. I don't know how far they have come for the benefit, but it's great," said longtime friend Ron Smith.

The Southeastern Elementary auditorium in Bowen, Illinois was packed with people, there to help a loyal friend. It was the first step, they hope, in getting Gooding back on his feet.

"With this crowd here, it's nothing like I expected. I knew there would be lots of people but maybe not this many," said Anne Goudschall, Gooding's friend.

Gooding is thankful for all the support from the community. "It's just amazing. It's a lot of people I haven't seen in eight months," said Gooding.

Gooding may be in a wheelchair now, but he says just wait a little while.

"I'm planning on walking again, though it may be a year or two," said Gooding. "I'll walk one way or another."

The benefit raised almost $25,000, which will go towards medical expenses.

"It's fantastic. I just can't thank people enough. I don't know how I could ever repay all these people," Gooding said.

Saturday was a DAY

2010-02-14T10:17:00.002-06:00

Mabel greeted us at the door yesterday. We went upstairs to find her cage in the above state. Houdini chewed her way out. But first she pulled the area rug into the cage and it being balled up (think making paper snowflakes when you fold the paper and cut)her chewing created little holes all over the rug.

It was a ROUGH day yesterday. We left here at 8:30 for a Special Olympics basketball game that started at 10:30. Sally was in RARE form. Or should I say the Autism was. Crying, whining, pooping her pants - it wasn't pretty. But as soon as the game started she was in heaven. Now, Sal doesn't actually play - she runs up and down the court and stands at either basket - trying hard not to come in contact with the ball. She also stands in the middle of the court and waves to us. :-) But she is one of only 7 and has to be put in for the other kids to have a break. Plus, she provides comedy. :-) But to the family yesterday she was a miserable little brat (and I HATE that word).

So by the time we arrived home *I* had had it! I have some kind of swollen gland thing in my neck - it's not awful - just annoying - so Mabel's little trick was just what was needed to put me over the edge. I just had to laugh. Bill and I collapsed on the couch and watched our new addiction: "House" and just let the day pass by.

JBSRA won one and lost one yesterday. We play at the State Finals in March, down in Bloomington - which means we will be staying overnight in a hotel. Sally and ANYONE in a room with her - NOT a good match. It will prove to be VERY interesting - I'm SURE! :-)

Jack and I sat on the bleachers yesterday - waiting of Bill to bring a drink and popcorn and Sal was warming up. I talked to him about Sally (she's been riding him pretty good lately) and I commented "She's really on your last nerve lately, huh? I know it's hard, Jack. It's hard for me too, but we have to keep trying together as a team." I said

"Mom, you don't even know," he replied "I have 20 at school and 1 at home, that's 21 people on my back,"

It took EVERY ounce of strength I had to not bust out laughing. It was SO funny - but I knew he was serious and would not have appreciated his Mom laughing in his face. That boy can make SO much drama out of nothing. I swear he'll be a politician, lawyer or actor (if he doesn't end up in jail) the way he can deliver a line of bs is unbelievable. :-)

Mabel Goes To Jail

2010-02-11T19:33:00.002-06:00

Wednesday morning Mabel got out the front door as Sally was waiting for her bus. Of course, being Mabel, she ran as fast as she could down the sidewalk and out of sight. I have given up chasing her - esp since we now have inches of snow covering the ground and the fact that I have a very time sensitive morning schedule.

So,as you would guess, she wound up in Animal Control doggie jail. I got a call at work around 2:00 telling me that they had Mabel and kind of "scolded" me about letting her out. Ughhh. Telling me that she could get eaten by a coyote - oh if only..... Now don't go giving me grief about that - I love Mabel and I'm just joking - but just like my kids she is very good at pushing my buttons and can rub that last nerve of mine off the scale. And besides, no coyote in his right mind would go after Mabel. Ewww - Mabel germs. So, after telling them that I would indeed retrieve her after work I hung up.

When I got to Animal Control I heard no barking - so that would mean that Mabel was ALL alone. "Good," I thought, "maybe she will have learned her lesson if she didn't have fun this time, playing with all the other doggies."

Oh, what we Americans do when we give a little power AND a badge to a teenager. This monster size, pimply faced man cub let me in and showed me Mabel's "file". Yes, Mabel has a rap sheet AND a mug shot. Seriously - they have a picture of her and all thees papers of the times when they have caught her. Again, I get the dripping water on the head and the light bulb in my eyes about how Mabel keeps getting out. I would have LOVED to confess that I am so attracted to this little man child that I keep letting the dog out just so I can rondevu with him. :-) Let's get a little perspective here, Sparkie - she's a dog - a beagle at that and they are best known for letting their noses get the best of them. So I hung my head and played all sorry like and picked up Mabel and lectured her all the way home.

Of course I got the eyes this morning - you know those eyes from a dog laying in your bed that say "I'm SO tired, I just want to sleep here all day, I won't make a mess or destroy the house, I'll be good - I'll just sleep in this bed all day. You don't need to put me in the cage." Oh, she's good at the eyes. If only she'd use her power for good instead of evil.

Mike Gooding Benefit

2010-02-03T12:08:00.004-06:00

www.mikegooding.com

Date: Saturday, 27 February 2010
Time: 2:00 - 10:00
Location: Southeastern Elementary School - Bowen IL

Description: My brother-in-law, Mike worked for Alexander Lumber Co for 38 years. Last May he fell from his roof and is now paralyzed from the chest down. Mike and his wife, Jill (my sister) live in rural LaPrarie.

A meal will begin at 2 pm to include soups, sandwiches, deserts and drinks for a Free Will Offering. There will be a 50/50 drawing and three raffle items to include a 50" flat screen plasma TV, a $500 gift card from Game Masters in Quincy and a Nintendo Wii. You need not be present to win.

Tickets are available for $1.00 each or $5.00 for six. The Hancock County Piecemakers Quitling Guild are now selling tickets and will be on hand that day to raffle off a handmade quilt. There will be an auction beginning at 4 pm and music throughout the day by DJ Danny Veach.

For questions or to hlep with donating auction or raffle items, please call Teresa Wood at (217) 842-5884 or Anita Marlow at (217) 392-2323. Matching funds from the benefit will be provided by Thrivent Financial Lutherans Chapter 30630.

4 Daves: Mike Gooding Benefit!

2010-02-01T14:00:00.000-06:00

4 Daves: Mike Gooding Benefit!

Mike Gooding Benefit!

2010-02-01T13:57:00.002-06:00

Type: Causes - Fundraiser

Date: Saturday, 27 February 2010
Time: 2:00 - 10:00
Location: Southeastern Elementary School - Bowen IL

Description My brother-in-law, Mike worked for Alexander Lumber Co for 38 years. Last May he fell from his roof and is now paralyzed from the chest down. Mike and his wife, Jill (my sister) live in rural LaPrarie.

A meal will begin at 2 pm to include soups, sandwiches, deserts and drinks for a Free Will Offering. There will be a 50/50 drawing and three raffle items to include a 50" flat screen plasma TV, a $500 gift card from Game Masters in Quincy and a Nintendo Wii. You need not be present to win.

Tickets are available for $1.00 each or $5.00 for six. The Hancock County Piecemakers Quilting Guild are now selling tickets and will be on hand that day to raffle off a handmade quilt. There will be an auction beginning at 4 pm and music throughout the day by DJ Danny Veach.

For questions or to help with donating auction or raffle items, please call Teresa Wood at (217) 842-5884 or Anita Marlow at (217) 392-2323. Matching funds from the benefit will be provided by Thrivent Financial Lutherans Chapter 30630.

If you would like to send a donation, please make check payable to The Mike Gooding Benefit, c/ Marine Bank and Trust - PO Box 216, August IL 62311.

Sigh

2010-01-30T19:28:00.002-06:00

Bill and I are weird. We've decided this after watching a Special Needs basketball game where parents - mind you parents who have to help their child get dressed - yell at refs and coaches!!!!! LET'S GET SOME PERSPECTIVE PEOPLE!!!!!! Seriously - you have to zip your child's coat - a child who is at leas 10 years of age and you think that it's really worth your energy to yell at a coach for not playing your child more???

Bill and I also cheer for both teams - it's not like we made a pact or something - it just happens. If you really watch the game and see the intensity in their faces - that just running up and down the court is a BIG deal to them - you HAVE to cheer! I wonder - where is the compassion? Where is the camaraderie? I mean - we, as parents are all in this together. Aren't we THRILLED that there IS a Special Needs basketball team? Bill and I are. We're THRILLED with the coaches - who are young adults who could be doing a LOT of things on a Sat afternoon than this. Sure, they get paid - but you know it's not NEAR what the effort demands.

I'm embarrassed. A LOT. I'm embarrassed to be a Special Needs parent - and it's not the kids that embarrass me - it's the adults and I feel ashamed for their actions. Quite the same way I feel ashamed to be a Christian when Pat Roberts opens his mouth and has the audacity to give REASON to a HUGE tragedy the way he did.

The crazy thing is - a Special Needs person would no more yell at a Ref or a coach than Christ would blame God for Haiti. I question? Where are the camera's? I mean, we're surely on Candid Camera or Punked - right??? I mean - it's CRAZY what goes on in day to day life.

So Bill and I laughed our "we're sorry you're so pathetic" laugh that we share a lot lately. We cheered for our little "Brick" who stands - and I mean STANDS near the top of the key and waves to the crowd or tells the others what they should do. We cheer for the other team and tell the people in front of us how cute their son's smile is. We stand as the cheerleaders from the other team - one who is in a wheel-chair, get up and do a cheer for the other team. We joke with the coaches afterwards and tell them to do a shot for us - cause you KNOW after dealing with those parents they HAVE to unwind somehow. We shake our heads on the way home and try and teach Jack how very lucky he is to have a body that works correctly with his brain and how proud we are of him because he helped Sally during practice. And mostly we wonder if the world has gone mad. We wonder how it is that we have come through all this with the humor we possess and then we keep keeping on.

Life is hard enough with Sal (and Jack) to carry all that ANGER. My back isn't strong enough. But I have to admit to feelings of wanting to cross the court - call time out - and shake the CRAP out of the parents that are IDIOTS! The restraint I've shown is amazing. :-)

Some More Time

2010-01-18T20:41:00.003-06:00

Things have really been speeding along lately. Sal has swim club on Monday night, Jack has basketball practice on Tuesday night, Sal has Social Club and basketball games on Saturday and Jack has basketball games on Sunday. In between we have the usual homework and working on mult tables and subtraction and Sal's general upkeep.
:-)

Swim club is SO funny. I have NEVER seen anyone kick SO hard and really go no where - I really mean that - she travels no where. But she's smiling ALL the time! It is SO cute. Those squinty eyes all squished into her goggles, her little hands coming out of the water every so often as if doing a high five and her legs making a HUGE wake. :-) Her coaches love her so much. They all come up and talk to her before and after. I love the Park District staff. I know it's crazy but I always fear loosing such good people. I'm as hateful of change as Sal is.

Sally went to the dance at Humphrey last Friday. She had a GREAT time. As she was getting in the truck she told me "I threw pies". What???? My first question was "were you supposed to?" :-) I guess there were games there too and one of them was throwing pies at the Principal. She hit him twice, she said. :-)

Jack is becoming more and more vocal (nastily) with Sal and his tolerance is VERY low. I'm hoping it's because we haven't been outside playing lately. We decided he needs to be limited on the computer and his DS.

My sister is still going one step forward and 5 back. She has to force feed Mike and make sure he's drinking enough (or he'll end up in the hosp again). She says he's so mixed up sometimes. Last weekend as she quizzed him about the name of his sons and their wives and kids he replied "Jack" many many times. :-) Like I've always said "It's all Jack, all the time" :-) It's hard to hear on the phone. You just want to take it all away from them.

New Year!!!?????

2010-01-02T17:54:00.002-06:00

Day number 2 - doesn't seem that different. But then again it does. I've had a realization this week. My sister and I were commiserating on the critics in our lives who, without even being close to us, feel they know better how we should act or what we should say.

We both kind of feel like "when you change your loved one's soiled undies on a daily basis - then you can talk to us", :-) So it got me to thinking.... It's always "family" that feel they can judge us like this. Is it because THEY can't fathom the idea of us being able to handle this? Do we not fit the mold they've made for us? Are we stronger than they've ever given us credit for? See, my theory is that they have placed us in a role (we all do it) and usually it is a role of "much less than" their role and now, suddenly or over time, they can't see us lower than they are - the way they were so comfortable in seeing themselves. Sometimes being around people that *you* feel are *more than you* is uncomfortable because you have to look at yourself and maybe they're not real happy with themselves??? I just say this because I know when I talk to people who have a lot of energy it makes me feel like a slug because I feel like I don't do anything. I think this happens to the older of the siblings. They have placed you in a role of always needing them. Of you never really amounting to much - because you were such a pain in the butt as a kid. I've always said - I could cure cancer tomorrow but I'd always be "Monster" to my siblings - the kid who was always in trouble and got bad grades. :-) And then again - I'm way off and some people are just nasty for the sake of being nasty. :-)

So, Sally said to me yesterday "Do I have to be a teenager?" :-) We were talking about what would be happening this year and such. We also got into a conversation about wishes - and what each kid would wish for. Jack wished for more wishes (big surprise there) but Sal wished that EVERYONE would have a wish! Awww - is that not sweet. :-)

The Holidays have been tough on her. It's an anxious time for all kids but for the Auti's of the world - it's even more crazy and then there's the whole "that was it?" let down that I think we ALL experience.

My brother-in-law has had some set backs. He went to surgery over the holidays and it all went well, BUT he decided he wasn't doing rehab at the hosp so they took him back to the nursing home. He went to the ER over the weekend and at one time it was a very touchy 24 hours. He has recovered and is prob going back to the nursing home on Monday. My sister is really having a rough time! It just seems like one tiny step forward and 4 huge steps back - ALL the time. Seems like she's getting called for all sorts of stupid reasons. His attitude is the WORST. Not that he doesn't deserve to be a butt head - but he had been much better - still a pain in the arse - don't get me wrong - he's still Mike. But this person is SOOOO bad. I wish he'd do therapy at the hosp - I think because *they* work with people like that MUCH more than the N Home they would prob be able to recognize what attitude was "normal" and what was meds, diet, etc. I worry about both of them. It's very hard to be away from everything - but I'm sure it's hard to be there too. You want to just wave a wand and make it all better.

Thank God It's Over

2009-12-25T19:07:00.002-06:00

So Merry Christmas is over. It's been a CRAZY week. I worked on Monday and Daddy had the kids. Tues and Wed Daddy was out in a plow and I think we saw him a total of 1 hour. Christmas Eve was VERY hard. Holidays are always hard on typical kids - let alone autie's. Since there has really been no schedule like school since last Friday - Sal has been a basket case. All in all she did well till Christmas Eve and then the whole anxiety of Santa and gifts kind of got the best of her.

We made it till 6pm and then went looking at lights. She did REALLY well with that. We had cookies and coffee and juice and drove around looking at all the lights around town. (one of the perks of having someone working for PW - they know where all the good lights are) :-)

When we got home we opened our new jammies, took a bath, checked NORAD to see where Santa was and hopped into bed.

Mabel woke up around 4am and had to go out. As I left my bedroom to let her out I saw through the darkness two little eyes gleaming back at me. "Santa was here" she said. "I hear him". How can you tell her to go back to bed??? THAT would be a GREAT Christmas memory. :-) So, Sal and I went out to the living room and watched the Christmas Story marathon. :-)

Jack woke up around 6 and we set off a bomb to get Daddy up and they set out tearing open gifts. Grandpa gave Jack a set of Wild West 6-shooter cap guns! (we'll be picking his room at the home soon - he's obviously senile) :-) Granpa said he got a set of those every year when he was a boy and he thought Jack needed a gun. :-) Not to mention several things of caps. :-) Mr Chad had brought over a marsh mellow shooter for each child WITH lots a marshmallows! What is it with people?? :-) Mabel loved the marshmallows that came shooting by but was NOT keen on the cap gun. That sent her under the couch as fast as she could get her fat body under there. :-)

Santa also left an Easy Bake Oven (on both Sal and Jack's list). I can tell you - Santa had a tough time FINDING an EBO! In fact, I have it on good authority that he had elves out the night before trying to find the EBO!

Jack got a DSI - a game boy kind of thing that can connect to the Internet. That's all very foreign to me as Santa had Daddy's help on that one.

So after all the wrapping was flung from here to there, cookies and fudge eaten for breakfast and Mom and Dad were near their very last nerve. The kiddies were sent to watch a movie and fall asleep. Sal slept for a couple hours, but she still was a pain in the butt! Question after question about camp (next week) and Dick and Laurena's and even summer. Ugghh. It sounds like no big deal but after you deal with it for a while it really gets on one's nerves.

So it's been a day of playing "In A Pickle" baking cakes in the EBO, dodging marshmallow bullets and watching Mabel squeeze under the couch as fast as possible.

We have 2 more "down" days and I'm not sure who will weather worse - me or Sally. :-)

Christmas, Shristmas

2009-12-15T07:58:00.003-06:00

As most of you know, I'm not a fan of the red and green. So much not a fan that I'm seriously considering other traditions - but that's a whole 'nother story.

One thing that sucks about Christmas is the hyperness it creates in ALL kids - let alone my little freak. Sally is FULL of anxiety. The days off of school (ie: schedule disruption), strange things in the house, many social events, I swear they should make anti-anxiety pills just for Christmas.

She has been a busy bee. Last weekend was the trip on the Polar Express to the North Pole. She had a GREAT time and then on Sunday was a birthday party for our neighbor down the street at the pool. She and Jack were WAY over the edge.

We finally got the tree up yesterday and Jack and Sal decorated it. I think another couple years and they could do ALL of the decorating - which would be just FINE with me! :-)

It's been very cold here and Mabel has been allowed to go out back withOUT her chain on. It lasted for about 3 days - then she made a break for it - ended up at the neighbor's across the street. She comes right in and heads for the couch - squeezes her little fat girl body under it (a REAL sight) and stays there till she thinks you're done being mad at her (or she forgets) .

I'm now in the process of making little Chineese take out containers to hold candy for the teachers. Sal has 12 I need to make up and Jack has 2. I really wish I could give Sal's more - they have REALLY surprised me. We heard such horror stories of Jr High and Special Needs that we went in pretty synical. I have to say, we're VERY pleasently surprised. Not by her Cross Cat teacher - I knew from the day we sat in on her class that she and Sal were kindred spirits. I could tell she had a fantastic sense of humor and was really "into" the kids. Not to mention the aides in her room. But I have to admit - ALL of her teachers have been just terrific! Again, we're either babies or fools -isn't that who God takes car of? We sure have been, that's for sure.

"On Holiday"

2009-11-29T17:51:00.004-06:00

We left on Thanksgiving morning around 7am. The ride down was pretty good. We got in to Aunt Jill's around 11. She had gotten Uncle Mike from the Nursing Home, Gma and Gpa were there and Gma was peeling potatoes. Uncle Mick was there and being his usual goofy self. But there a couple 4 legged guests missing. Come to find out, Aunt Jill had to put Ottie down on Monday. He had gotten so sick with the cancer that he was barely eating and up all night restless.

The other 4 legged no show was Tiny. We got a call half way through dinner that Tiny was down a ways at a "neighbors" (on the farm a "neighbor" is well over a mile away). So Gpa and Mick loaded into the wheelchair van and went to pick him up. The wild thing about Tiny is that he thinks he's, well, *tiny*. He doesn't like to walk on the wheel chair lift - I think he thinks he'll fall through the lattice. :-) He also won't lay on the floor of the van - he has to sit on the seat. He is too funny. But when he got home he was chained to the tether ball pole and he was NOT happy. Chunk had a look on her face like "I *told* him not to go - but does he listen, no". :-)

After dinner Brad and Becky and kids showed up. Oh my - the house was up for grabs. 4 kids running through like wild men, playing hide and seek in Aunt Jill's closet, in the basement and in the toy room. Gma and Gpa left --- chickens. Sal, Aunt Jill and I took Uncle Mike back to the nursing home. That's no small task. I can't see why my sister isn't a twig from all the work it takes to get him in and out of anywhere.

Mick entertained us with his version of him being the "bad son" and Brad being the "good son". It was too funny. SO much good food. Turkey, potatoes, gravy, noodles, dressing, dirty pudding, broc casserole, rolls, and all kinds of pies and apple cake. We ate left overs for a couple of days.

On Friday (black Friday) we did nothing. The kids played outside and we took naps and ate. :-) We went into Golden to see Gma and Gpa and Gma took us to the Windmill to show us the Christmas stuff.

Gma has THE chair that used to be in THE Dr's office in Golden. There was no examination table - it was a chair - complete with stirrups. AND with the chair came the Drs bag AND his record book. Jack Beckett was recorded in the book twice. Once for a cough and once for a cut. Total of $1.75. I figure he was more trouble to Gma than he was worth. :-) It's all very interesting. I love all that old history stuff.

So Saturday rolled around and we took all 6 kids bowling, out to eat pizza and then to see lights in Moorman park. (the picture at the top) We were ALL tired by the time we dropped Uncle Mike off at the Nursing Home.

We all truckstered home to Bbk on Sunday. Those weekends are always too short.

Nutcracker was a ball-buster

2009-11-24T17:09:00.002-06:00

Full weekend for Sal. Friday night she went to the Pilgrim Dance with all her special needs friends from all over the area. She had a good time and reported that she had danced to "Who Let the Dogs Out" and "YMCA". :-) She didn't get home till 10 and then up early on Saturday and off to the Arboretum for Social Club.

We went as a family to the Nutcracker on Sunday and she was very good - for the first half. In the 2nd act she kept talking - loud and we threatened to take her out. She still didn't settle down too well. I've never been so glad to see the end of something. I'm seriously considering the trip to be just Me and Jack thing - or just me.

I hate when the autism comes roaring in like that. It just seemed like 2 steps forward and 3 back. :-( Bill keeps saying that next year will be better. I don't know. I guess it's my fault because I put importance on it because *I* love the ballet SO much. I want her to share that love - but I need to forget that. I just don't think she gets it.

Sal and several friends were in the paper this week. Honor Roll lists came out. There were a lot from her Cross Cat class and from her 6th grade in general. I've always felt that class was an extra good one. She really enjoyed seeing her name and then looking up all her friends.

We awoke yesterday to find pink flamingos in our yard. It's a fundraiser by the Girl Scouts. There were about 12 pink beasts staked in the yard, along with a sign that read "You've Been Flocked by Girl Scout Troop 370". It was so cute. And what a GREAT idea. There was a bag attached to the door with a form to fill out if you wanted to make a donation and have the flock sent somewhere. As I was asking Bill for ideas of who to send them to that we knew would not only donate but send them along Jack piped up with "Grandpa would". :-) Yes, he would - but he's a *little* out of the flight pattern. :-) We decided to send them westerly - around Denver Drive area. :-)

Sal woke up today and wanted to know where the flamingos had gone. A little difficult to explain "fundraiser". :-)

We pack tomorrow and head out Thurs morning bright and early. Hoping for a nice weekend and lots of time for *them* to play outside. :-)

Jr High

2009-11-18T12:49:00.003-06:00

Jr High seems to be going as well as grade school, so far. We got an envelope in the mail yesterday with a bumper sticker in it that says "My HHH Honor Roll student makes me proud". :-) Sal seemed to be very proud.

She's been a little on the "willy" side. Talks back a lot - not following directions - kind of "cagie". School reports the same thing on some days and in some classes. Doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason as to a particular day or class or before or after eating certain things. ughh. Such is life, I guess. I'm chalking it up to tweeness and weather change and being a little off schedule at home lately.

We've had the "sickness" run through the house. Seems like when I'm feeling better - I get worse again. :-/ Of course, little Miss Sally, the carrier, was sick for one day. Threw her guts up till there was nothing left and then - presto - she's fine. I mean - not tired - nothing. Kind of like "I done with being sick". :-)

She has discovered that after certain shows (Sprout)they say "Don't go away" - which she takes literally, of course, and now asks me every time if she can indeed go away and then why do they say that. :-) It's kind of funny.

She has been FULL of more and more questions lately. Annoying questions - stuff I know she knows - just seems she needs to hear herself talk. We've taken to calling her "the quiz Master". :-)

Sally has also been talking a LOT more about when she grows up. That she will have kids, that she will drive, that she will have a house. That's new. Even though she's talked before about what she will do when she grows up she has never talked about family or living arrangements. I just listen like you would to any child. Oh, what an adventure the future will be. (like the ride hasn't been crazy so far)
:-)

She started basketball last week. She loves it. The only thing is she refuses to shoot a basket. I think we need to work on those arm muscles. I even thought it might be prudent to teach her how to throw it from between her legs (think old time free throws). They've commented at swimming also that her arms don't seem to go all the way around.

We recently purchased a label maker for her. It's a very small type-writer looking thing - spits out a line of your words on a sticky label. We've used it to do homework - fill in the blank. We've also used it to write birthday cards and address the envelope. Why the heck didn't I think of this before????? I need to tell my most favorite aides about this too. :-)

So we leave for Aunt Jill's next Thurs morning - IF there's nothing going on with Uncle Mike. Seems Aunt Jill's life is pretty much up in the air - yeah, you plan but you're constantly aware that the plans may have to be cancelled at the last minute. They've also scheduled the benefit for February. I've heard from MANY people "down there" that it will surely be the event of the year! Sooooo - now we plan a trip "south" in Feb (usually the snowiest month of them all) :-)

Tiny is a STAR!

2009-10-28T19:48:00.004-05:00

Tiny was featured on KHQA (tv station) in Quincy last week. Write up in the paper to follow.

Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 6:36 p.m.
Golden, IL -- His name may be Tiny...but his heart and his size are quite the opposite.
Meet Tiny, a five year old St. Bernard from LaPrarie Illinois who is proving why dogs are definitely man's best friend.
His owner Mike Gooding fell off his roof earlier this year.
The fall broke Gooding's neck, paralyzing him from the chest down.
Since then Gooding has been staying and being cared for at Golden Good Shepherd Home.
But Tiny couldn't take being away from his owner...so Tiny decided one day to sniff out Gooding...which he eventually did.
But it was no easy task...Their home in LaPrarie is about a seven mile treck to the Good Shepherd Home in Golden.
"It was very amazing to me and stuff and and very refreshing to have him find me out because he had never been to Golden down to the nursing home and it's just amazing that he found me," said Gooding.
By the way Gooding says Tiny has had no special training.
The sad part of this story is Gooding told us Tiny always travels with their cat...Miss Kitty.
But since that day Tiny went looking for Gooding...Miss Kitty has been missing.
They feel she may have gotten lost during the journey.

Fall Colors - 10/24/09

2009-10-26T07:35:00.003-05:00

I love fall. I LOVE all the neat colors that nature makes. Sal and I go for a walk every day after she gets off the bus from school. We take Mabel and talk about her day and kind of "waste time" till Jack gets home. I'm always pointing out the pretty colors of the trees and she always picks up leaves and then re-distributes them to other houses. :-)

I traveled south this weekend. Jack, Mabel and I went to Aunt Jill's and stayed the weekend so we could celebrate Gma and Gpa's 60th wedding anniversary. Mick's kids came over and stayed the night. Aunt Jill is also Gma Gooding. :-) They all get along well.

We went to get Mike and loaded him up (no small task) and went to Liberty for dinner. It was a really nice outing and GREAT food! Jack and I then loaded up and drove home as we listened to the Bear's game.

Mabel slept the whole way. All that running and sniffing in the country wears a girl out. :-)

Some Spec Need Parents SUCK

2009-10-13T15:38:00.002-05:00

Ughhh. I've had run ins with this specific person before and it's always her whining about people that VOLUNTEER and how they don't do well by her kid. I've never seen HER volunteer for anything and she does nothing but complain. Her latest is that she was told that people at a VOLUNTEER after-school tutoring place can't really help her kid. (personally I believe that her kid is NOT autistic as much as a brat) (and yes, I know, I HATE that word) The real reason autism is on the rise is because of people like her and my favorite friend "Vicky". They want someone else to combat the bad parenting they've done and they want the attention spec needs brings so they can have pity but they don't want to do what' required to be a spec need parent.
You don't just wake up and send your kid to school and poof - when they graduate they come out all ready to have a job and live on their own. It's the same as any other kid (only harder to teach) - YOU teach them to make mac-n-cheese, clean the toilet, put on their coat....... And yes, there are some places that Sal can't go. Well, it's not that she "can't" she shouldn't.

For instance: Sal can't ride a bike - so a bike ride event would NOT be a good idea. She can't read to grade level so a book club for her age group - prob not the best idea. Some parents loose their minds (or they don't have any to begin with) when their kid is diagnosed. They get that "least restricted law stuck in their head and it becomes their mantra. My kid can NOT be refused - no matter what and it's society's responsibility to see to it. NO it's YOUR responsibility. Like any other child - just because you're special needs does NOT mean it's any more acceptable for you to yell fire in an elevator.

So special needs parenting is just like other parenting - in the fact that you run into horrible parents there too. :-) But what really ticks me off is that the people that are *trying* to do good - they get complained about and then why would you volunteer again? It's just a shame. There's SOOO many people that go out of their way to raise money and awareness for special needs people that I hate to see them critiqued in any way.

Ok - I'm done now. :-)

Project Choices

2009-10-07T17:15:00.003-05:00

"You drop that people or I hit you" Sally screamed at Mabel
"Sally, we don't hit" I reminded her.
"I do!!!" She yelled back.
Sally calmly walked into the living room and announced "I lock her in my room".

Ugghhh. I swear Mabel knows all about sibling bickering - because she is a CONSTANT thorn in Sal's side. She hides in the shadows till she sees a chance to steal a stuffed animal or a Little People, then she RUNS like a bat our of hell through the halls and I swear she's smiling. :-)

We went to the Project Choices conference today. I was asked to speak about Sally's experience in public school. I was scheduled to speak after lunch but we got there at 9 and sat through the rest of the presentations. Talk about inspiring! I have come home with a whole new excitement for the possibilities for Sal.

Sally did SOOOO well. She sat quietly the whole time. We got there about 8:45 and left around 1:30. We had a little breakfast snack and lunch and then we basically sat and listened to speakers and Sally was quiet and colored the whole time. I'm SO proud of her.

We went to get Jack's hair cut tonight. Sal and I stopped by the $ store first and when we came in Jack was in the chair and was being shaved. The lady asked if we liked it and I said it was whatever Jack wanted. He said he wanted shorter so she basically shaved him. As the lady was asking if Jack liked his hair Sal turns to me and says "That's ok because my hair looks good." :-) I thought I was going to fall on the floor!

Lately Sally has been doing this thing that when she asks a question and I reply she'll say "Ohhhh, I get you". So I've been responding with "Are you feeling me sister? ; Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Are you buying what I'm selling?" So tonight when she asked me something I responded and then said "Do you understand?" Without missing a beat she said "I'm feeling you sister" DANG! That girl is SO funny sometimes. It's the way she delivers the line too. Just cracks me up.

Talked to my Dad tonight. Seems Tiny was on the prowl again. He went down the highway a ways. He started chasing the peoples' chickens. They yelled at him and told him to stop and he did. I guess they recognised him and gave him a ride home. Is that not funny, or what?! My sister has the craziest farm! ;-)

Swim Team

2009-10-05T20:42:00.002-05:00

Sal has joined the special needs (JBSRA) swim team. Every Monday night she goes to practice. They swim back and forth across the pool. She is SO funny. They asked that she get and wear goggles, so we did. She is a vision. Her eyes all squinty in these goggles - because she insists on having them tight. But she paddles back and forth and back and forth.

She actually put her whole face in the water tonight. She is finally getting the idea of shutting her mouth when she goes in. It is so funny to watch her.

Mark is on the team too. Man, is he good. Dang. He is really an inspiration to anyone that thinks their life is tough. :-)

So Sal and I have been asked to share her story about her journey in the public school system. Project Choices contacted me and asked if I would give a little talk at their next seminar, which is Wednesday, in Lombard.

I told Sal about it today - that she wouldn't be going to school on Wednesday. I try and wait till the last minute for these things - because of the anxious questions over and over and over, but I'll have to inform her bus driver tomorrow so I thought I better clue her in. :-)

She was pretty good with the information. There were a few tense moments when we talked about her missing school, but I told her I had cleared it with Mrs K and that we kind of "owed" it to other Mommy's with kids like she was that need some support. Mrs Atherton was the one that pretty much forced our hand and talked us into public school, I can't thank her enough so this is kind of my way to "give back".

Jack has basketball clinic at the same time as Sal's swim practice. Tonight Jack brought money for him and Sally to get something from the vending machine. It's so neat to watch him make her do things. He made her push the button for what she wanted. He seems to have more patience and skill for that than I do. Instead of just taking over he does a pretty good job of making her do what she can and he does it with such ease that it's like he's not even doing it. He's a quandary, that boy.

Full, Full Weeks

2009-09-27T09:15:00.004-05:00

We're off to a great start this fall. Jack has basketball clinic and Sal has swim team on Mondays, Jack has baseball practice on Tuesdays, NOTHING on Wednesdays, Sal has bowling and Jack has baseball practice on Thursdays, Fridays are free and then baseball games on Saturdays. I LOVE when schedules work out!!! :-)

Baseball is going well for Jack. He's really progressing. He still gives me the 'I don't wanna go' thing when it's time to stop doing whatever and get ready for baseball, but seems he needs to give an opinion on EVERY little thing. :-)

Sal's doing well at school and really loving swimming. She really works her but off in the water. We're going for goggles today. :-)

Jack has a new friend, Anthony. But Sal insists on calling him Matthew. :-) He came over after school and they did their homework together and now he stops in the morning so they can ride to school together on their bikes. He's a handsy kid and actually picked up my camera yesterday and took a picture! I was appalled at how brazen he was! Jack got an earful about how HE better NEVER do stuff like that at other's house. :-)

What a Weekend!

2009-09-21T09:47:00.002-05:00

It's been a fun weekend. Sal turned 12 on the 14th and we "partied" on Saturday, after Jack's baseball game. Aunt Jill came up on Friday afternoon and brought Ottie. Mabel showed him all around (as far as her chain would reach) :-)

We all went to watch Jack's Fall Ball game (basically a scrimmage) on Sat morning and then at 12 the bouncy castle was put up and there were children in it till it was taken down at 7 pm that night. :-) We had hot dogs and chips and ice-cream and cake (Sal's very favorites). People from the neighborhood came and went and the kids played ALL day. It's so nice to have kids in the neighborhood that accept Sal and treat her as one of them and not a step below.

We garage saled on Sunday - another favorite of Sal's. SHE was just one big smile ALL weekend!

Uncle Mike is doing well. Aunt Jill gave us the scoop - he had a bedsore and a UT infection so they have to wait for all that to clear up before his next surgery. It's all cleared up now, so they go for a consultation this week for the surgery. I'm not exactly sure what the surgery will do.

Aunt Jill is weary of all the back and forth with the Dr's. I'll tell ya - if you don't think we need insurance reform - maybe you should spend a day in her shoes. It's just UNBELIEVABLE what it's like.

Aunt Jill got home ok last night and was even greeted by Tiny. He's taken to traveling again - with the weather being cooler. He can't stand the heat. :-) He and Miss Kitty ended up in Golden last week (a good 7-10 mile hike). Grandpa loaded Tiny up in the truck and took him back home. I guess he rides with his head in the wind like he's in a parade or something. Poor Miss Kitty rarely gets rides home because she's usually out of site. :-) Wouldn't you LOVE to see video of THOSE travels. :-)

We do the swim team (Sal) and basketball clinic (Jack) tonight. Sally is really loving being involved in this team. Things are going amazingly well with them and their schedules. I even have daycare lined up for them just for tax season. Gotta love my neighbors! :-)

So, for this week, life is good. :-) That could all change in an hour. :-)

Sooooooo Much

2009-09-02T09:05:00.002-05:00

Well, I haven't blogged for a long time, huh? Truth be told - I've been angry. Not your normal 'ticked' or on a high horse - but REALLY angry and struggling. So where to start.....

Going backwards: Sal and Jack have started school. Sal is in Jr High now!!! It seems unreal that the tiny baby that wore doll clothes (she was 5 pds) is now in Jr High and is *quite* big. :-) Sally has taken on weight since she was potty trained. I do believe it has something to do with her "holding" herself - and she does this a lot. :-( But I digress... She LOVEs school. She's going right down the street to Hubert Humphrey and so far so good.

Mr Bob picks her up on the "shorty bus" every morn and yesterday she got on and I heard her say to someone in the back "oh, you're here - I missed you yesterday" !!!!!!! OMG! She's growing leaps and bounds - but yet there are those times - like at the dentist the other day when it becomes PAINFULLY obvious how MUCH we have to do.

Jack is Jack. More mouthy this year and I have to *remind* him a LOT that I am NOT his buddy and he cannot speak to me in the tone he does. He came home on Friday and announced that he hated 3rd grade - because they had homework on the WEEKEND!!!! Gasp!!! How WILL he survive. :-) EVERYTHING is a fight with him - and the really exciting part is - I hear from EVERYONE that it only gets worse!!! Oh Joy!!!!

So about me being angry. Well, it's my faith - not that I've lost my faith - I haven't - I've really come away from the whole dogma thing - the whole *religious* thing. I've also had some MAJOR lessons in people. Ok - try and follow me on this:

*I* have always been told how nice it is to be with me because I'm so "open" (for lack of a better word - "not fake") I always took this as a "nice thing people say" (like how are you - they really don't *mean* it - they just *say* it) Because we're all fake. Well, we put on "airs" depending where we are. Like - most of us don't fart at work - or tantrum - or burp - that kind of thing. But I never realized that some people are REALLY fake. Like want the world to think one thing but LIVE - *totally* different. You know, you read it - you see movies about it - it's *other* people - not people in your life that do this - right? Well, because of facebook - I'm seeing that people I really know well are quite the pretenders!!! I even got called on the carpet for being me.

Those that know me - know that there are certain people that I kid a LOT with. One of those people did NOT like that I did this in the open(facebook) and called my husband and "tattled" on me!!! It was HYSTERICAL! I've NEVER encountered grown ups that so RADICALLY pretend. I know, I've lived in a cave evidently. It really ticked me off - at first. But when I stopped tantruming (my childish reaction I try to work on) I realized how really SAD it is.

I don't know how or who or what made me the open this is me kind of person but thank you Lord. Funny, now that I think of it - I couldn't be that way if I wanted to - Sally would SO call me out!!! :-)

Sally - we've started going for a walk when she gets home. We have a new schedule - she goes to school 45 min earlier than Jack and so gets out 45 min earlier - so when she gets off the bus I get her to go potty, put Mabel on the leash and we set out. It's a nice one on one time plus, this way we can all have after-school snack together. Even though the last two times she has stowed away munchies to eat on the way. Yesterday she even took a cup of juice. :-)

The mornings are heaven. Each kid is really out of their elements - Sal's gone before Jack can start the bickering. And since he can get himself ready - I'm done after Sal gets on the bus. So I get almost 45 minutes to get ready on my own!!!

Jack is taking his bike to school now. (3rd graders up can take their bikes). When he asked me about his lock and chain (which cost more than the bike itself) he was amazed that I had never had a bike lock or chain.
"Didn't you ride your bike to school?"
"oh, Yeah all the time. But we never used locks - we knew everyone and knew every one's bike"
I got a look complete with huge eyes and he said "Wow, Mom, where the heck did you go to school?" (I just shake my head) ;-)

Our VA KAY SHUN!

2009-08-08T18:18:00.002-05:00

We left for my sister's house in LaPrarie, IL (pop 85)on Sunday morning. We got there around 11:30 and then went into Golden (pop 500) to get my bro-in-law from the Nursing Home. They got a used van with a wheel chair lift and it's really very nice - esp for the price. She leaves it out at the Nursing Home so anyone who wants to pick him up can use it. He had been out to dinner with a friend the night before. This was his first trip back to his house (or the scene of the crime).

It's no small task to load him. The lift brings him up and then he has to recline himself and then we put him into neutral and then push him into the van (once he's reclined the wheel chair won't move) Then put him back in gear so he can sit up. Talk about back seat driver! :-)

His sister - Tee came out and we unloaded and he wheeled all over. That chair is like an all terrain vehicle. He went to the back of the house and looked at where he had fallen and where the helicopter landed and then we sat out in the front yard under the tree and visited.

Aunt Jill made lasagna and deviled eggs - Jack indulged on the lasagna and Sal ate all but 5 of the eggs!!! Not to self: Don't sit Sal by the eggs. :-)

The kids had a ball running all over, playing with the dogs. My sister has 8 cows in her pasture now. They're all preggos and 5 of them are black and look alike. There's also a brown one, beige one and a white faced one with black eye (Popeye). Mabel discovered that she could "herd" them into the back pasture. After the first night they didn't even look at her let alone move when she barked. :-)

When we took Uncle Mike back to the home he was pretty worn out. The next morning they called and his blood pressure was WAY low - like almost dead low. We decided then he prob shouldn't go to the fair with us on the week nights. Seems he gets one step ahead and goes back two. *I* think he's doing too much, too fast. But since I didn't go to med school - ----- :-)

Monday we went to visit Gma and Gpa and had lunch with some people that knew me "when I was just a baby". :-) Our neighbor, Mrs Ihnen's "boy" (he's my Dad's age). He told all kinds of stories about my dad's pitching days. :-) It was pretty entertaining. Their niece, Sally, is who my Sally was named after and so we talked about that.

We went to Tod and Rachel's after that. We were looking at trucks (Bill was) in Camp Point and as we got out - Malachi and Mary Scott came riding by on their way home from Grandma's. We gave Mary Scott a ride home - and didn't beat little brother by much. Rachel appeared very soon after with Elizabeth and new baby, Elijah. Oh, those two make some cute kids. We sat out in their yard and watched the kids swim and Elizabeth played on the swing set. We really enjoy hanging with them.

Bill and I then took a ride out to Tod's new building where he takes round hay bales and makes them into square ones. He designed the machine all by himself. Oh, if our High School teachers could see us now - and they said we'd amount to nothing. :-) The building is HUGE and they're trying to figure out what to do with the front. Tod suggested strip club - Rachel and I laughed politely. :-)

We headed out to the fair - Tod wanted to see the tractor pull. We let Jack, Malachi and Mary Scott go on their own to ride two rides. We then lost them/. :-) Rachel and I walked up and down that midway 50 times. Come to find out they had gone up to the stands and talked to Tod and Bill. THEN they had split up so they could find us easier! Since that fair is really a 2nd home to Tod's kids I wasn't too worried - but you do start to think about what clothes your kid had on. :-)

Tuesday night we went to Aunt Jill's quilt meeting - she had the "lesson". There were a TON of people there. She demonstrated "log cabin" squares. She did a really nice job and a lot of people came up to me afterwards and told me how proud I should be of her and did I quilt. Sally and I sat next to another Sally. :-) My Sally thought it was funny that there were 2 Sallys. My Sally did VERY well during the meeting. She wrote in her notebook and then cut (I had given her scissors) and was quiet the whole night. Her favorite part is that the ladies all go to Dairy Queen after the meeting. :-) Bill and Jack went to see the motorcycle races at the fair. We all got home about the same time and sat outside. That's so much fun - to sit on the porch with all the animals and watch the sky and hear the wild life. :-)

Wed was horse show day and Mary Scott won FIRST prize in her very first time showing and her horse's (Peppy) too. Tod was SO funny - he didn't think she had a chance and so when they called her number he hardly moved - then it started sinking in and he got ALL cocky. :-)

Later in the afternoon was the costume class. The kids and horses are dressed up. Mary Scott got 2nd. Peppy and her were clowns. It was SO cute. The first place was really neat - it was a TOTAL Pink Panther costume that covered the horse's head entirely. It was funny. So we were all on cloud nine when we hit the midway that night. Tod's Mom was there and we got to talk for a while. She's just like Tod. :-)

Jack and Malachi and Elizabeth went with to put Peppy away and they stopped off at Tod's and loaded a trailer and some other things that Jack tried to explain but I really wasn't listening. It's a little scary when Tod is in charge of the children. :-)

We all went to the Demolition derby that night. It wasn't that great. BUT - the kids LOVED it! Jack , Malachi and Mary Scott all went to the very front (where the mud flies) and Sal stayed with us. She didn't even mind the noise and seemed to be really interested in the hits. :-)

Auntie Jill got to hold squishy baby. He's SO good. SO laid back - well, all their kids are like that - Rachel too. 4 kids and NOTHING shakes her up. Of course - living with Tod will prepare you for that. :-)

Thursday we went into Quincy and got all our school shopping done. That night we went to the Harness Racing in Mt Sterling (Brown Co fair) I LOVE that! I could SOOO be into horse racing. I had Sal pick winners for all 10 races and then I had Jack pick and I put bets down on all they picked. We only won about half - but it was still fun. :-) Sally likes it when they bring the winner into the Winner's circle and he gets his picture taken. She thought that when she picked the winner that she should get to go down and get her picture taken too. :-)

We saw all kinds of animals on our travels. Deer, coyotes, foxes and the usual opossum and rabbits. Miss Kitty had to *remind* Mabel that cats rule and dogs drool. :-)

Sally wanted to know why everyone wears a hat (farmers hat) down there. Jack was shocked that we were in "the country".

Now that we're home - Mabel seems VERY depressed. She was outside almost ALL the time down there and she can run where ever she wants. She slept all the way home (Sally and Bill did NOT) and all last night and then all day today. I know who's counting the days till Thanksgiving. :-)

It DID seem short this year. Well, heck the whole summer seemed short. So vacation is over and the real world returns. Woo hoo.

Sickie

2009-07-21T08:22:00.002-05:00

Jacky's sick. Headache and temp. Poor guy. Because it's Jack we're very careful to make sure he's not "playing" us. :-) But he actually turned OFF wrestling this morning and laid down. Hes' sick.

But that doesn't stop Sal. She's still picking on him. She finally went to my room (after her life being threatened) and watched George Monkey (Curios George for the rest of you). :-)

I've got quarterly payroll reports due so Bill is coming home at 12 and I'm going in. Why do they always tend to get sick at the most inopportune times. :-)

Weather

2009-07-20T18:01:00.002-05:00

Dang! What BEAUTIFUL weather it's been lately. Not too hot - cools off nice at night for GREAT sleeping weather. And best of all --- NO air conditioning! Now THAT'S summer to me.

Growing up we didn't use our air a lot - take that back - we didn't HAVE air. Well, not central air. AFter it became apparent that I was most definitely suffering with allergies and that it was NOT in my head - they put a window air conditioner in my room. But for the most part it's not really NEEDED down south. The houses aren't SO close together and the builders of the homes 100+ years ago knew a little something about cross breezes. These tract homes, I swear, trap the heat.

Plus, as a kid we were never home that much - or at least not INdoors. Jack is a LOT like that. He's begging at 7 to go "knock on doors". We hold him off till 9 - 10 on Sundays - and then he's gone till it gets dark. Well, he checks in once in a while and of course he comes home all ticked off at whoever he's playing with every once in a while - complains about them - and then goes back out to play with them. The joys of being a kid. :-)

Sally has taken "certain" Little People out to the pool this year - they sit on the fence and watch while they each get a turn on the floaty that Sal pushes around. She is obviously the counselor at Camp Davidek and tells them when they've been bad and what their punishment will be. It is very comical.

Jack is on day number 2 of headache. Personally, I didn't think kids GOT headaches - but this boy has had them on and off for a long time. Sometimes they're to the point that he throws up and then feels much better. Honestly, I think the not eating and the lack of sleep is starting to catch up with him. School can't come soon enough for me.

Being a Kennedy

2009-07-19T07:38:00.002-05:00

I watched a thing on the Kennedys last night (Hist Channel) and they went on and on about how to be a Kennedy was all about "appearances". It occurred to me that this is NOT a elite thing. We ALL do this. We appear to the public how we WANT to be - not who we really are. Some do more so than others.

For instance - *I* go to work in a skirt and heels. This is NOT who I *really* am. Some people lie on their resume' - this is NOT who they are. So for us to gasp at how the Kennedy's put on airs is kind of funny. Esp in today's world of web pages and such. SO many people lie there.

I wonder about that with Sal. Am I trying to make her fit some kind of "mold" that really isn't *her*. I walk a fine line on that, I have to admit.

Maybe that is something we should all take from these kids. They really don't do ANYTHING for appearances. Sal's hair is now short because she HATES to have her hair combed. Period. She couldn't care less how it looks. She takes you as YOU - not how you look, not how much money you have (or say you have) not what you drive, not where you live, and not by who you are, but by how you treat her. And she's very aware of those things. She can spot bs a mile away (well, all kids can, really). It's as an adult you get sucked in more and more to bs.

So, we have a new resident in Golden IL. When you're a town of only 500 you tend to notice new residents. :-) Mike moved into Golden Good Shepard Home on Friday. From what my sister says he's happy. Has a private room, a nice view and I'm SURE he'll have a LOT of visitors.

Mom said he was received very well by everyone. I bet - it's kind of unusual for them to get someone that young. :-)

Sal and I are starting our walk today. I asked her if she wanted to walk with me every day. You know Sal, she's up for anything. :-)

Time Machine

2009-07-15T16:53:00.002-05:00

I obviously entered some kind of time machine over the weekend - it took me back almost 17 years into the same ol' crap. It's amazing how old people can get but still never "grow up". And I'm ashamed to say - I'm right there with them. Or I was. Since it's the month of independence I gave myself permission to be independent from all the bs! Bill and I talked a LOT about it and he thought it best for me to just be done. So I am. And that's all I'll say about that. Confused? Me too.

So, since I've got a renewed spirit I have been doing a little reading and have discovered that the Native Americans had people like Sally too. They considered these people to be 'godlike' and realized they had a true gift.

She continues to amaze me with the connection she has to things that aren't said. I'm also discovering *my* connection. I know, it's a little woo-woo but that's where life is going right now.

Mike comes "home" for a visit this weekend. Talked to Aunt Jill over the weekend (it was her birthday). She had a GREAT time on her quilt trip. It was really good to hear her sound SO much better. I really really worry about her sometimes - someone has to. So he is going to Golden Good Shep and my Mother is busy busy making preparations. :-) I have a feeling he may very well know that "be careful what you wish for" phrase. :-)

I talked to Sally about it this morning and you could just see the wheels turning in her head. She's very familiar with the nursing home due to my mother. She's helped my Mom direct the games and church services there. My Mom is out there a lot. I say "out there" - it's right down the street from my parents' house.

Sal got her last shot yesterday. She is all ready for school and now all I have to do is make copies of everything and then send it in. Can you believe school is right around the corner. In some sense I'm glad and then again it's bitter sweet.

My sister has rented out her pasture and now has cows across the driveway. She was telling me that the weeds are so tall you can't see the cows till they get right up to the fence. This disturbed her dogs because all you could see was weeds moving and you couldn't tell why. She said they barked and paced until finally the cows came wandering up to the fence and then Tiny decided that they were ok. It is such a zoo out there. She said when she came home the other day the dogs had found a hide and had drug it up to the front yard and took turns rolling in it. Ottie - who normally stays inside had to sleep outside that night.

We (the kids and I) went to see Mrs Berg and her daughter play softball on Monday. Mrs Berg coaches . Mrs Berg was Sal's aid last year . You know there should be a different title for that - not that I'm a big title fan but aid just doesn't do her justice. Anyway - Sal had said when we sat down that the blue team was going to win - and they did. Happened that Mrs Berg's team was the blue team! :-) They played REALLY well!!! They're 14u so it was really fun to watch. And dang, the girls' must have had dates afterward because they were done with 7 innings in an hour and a half!!!! We didn't even have time for popcorn! :-)

Works in Progress

2009-07-05T21:15:00.001-05:00

What a weekend. I was planning a trip south but Sal's infection put a stop to that. On the 4th we woke up to rain that kept up just enough to make things wet enough to be miserable. We headed to our usual fireworks watching place only to find it blocked off and GUARDED no less, by Bbk's finest. There's good use of tax dollars. We went to the round barn location and watched from there. We were joined by a BUNCH of people who were out of their way nice. Passing soda and cupcakes - mmm - my kind of people.

We had brought a TON of glow sticks and Sally had a BALL passing those out. We had a REALLY nice time.

Today we just took it easy and worked around home. Bill put up the pool again (only to find holes in it). Holes that look a little *too* much like dog teeth. :-( So it looks like we're in for another pool purchase.

Mabel has been pretty good - for Mabel. She's managed not to rush the door every time someone came in (namely Sally) and to reward her, Daddy bought her a swimming pool full of sand. I hid treats all through the sand and tomorrow she will get to find them. :-)

Mabel is scared of fireworks. Pulls an Ottie and sits and shivers the whole time under our bed. It's kind of funny when you know how big and bad she acts whenever anyone walks by .

So all in all it's been a really nice 4th. Tonight is especially nice sitting on the deck and just relaxing.

Have Drs appts tomorrow for the kids to get their school physicals. I think Sally will need shots. I think Jack's ok. Should be interesting.

Trip South Cancelled

2009-07-03T20:44:00.002-05:00

I was to leave this a.m. to go to my sister's and then her and I were planning on going to MO - watching Brad ump a Caveman game (MO farm team) , getting a motel room and watching fireworks with Mike and coming back on Sunday - me coming back to my home on Monday.

On Wed I got a call at work that Sally had had an "accident" at the Kane Co Cougar game and would I be at the Park Dist as soon as the bus came. Sure. I'm thinking "accident" of #2 (to spare you gory details).

When I pick her up - she's fine - she had peed her pants. She had used the bathroom like 5 times in an hour and still peed her pants. The smell was distinct - she had a urine infection - I was positive. Dr Wilk and I had discussed this a couple years ago that her having the bowel accidents could very well make infections down there - so I was to be on the look out.

Thurs we got into the Dr and sure enough she has a UTI. The only thing was she was running a temp and Dr is a little concerned that it may mean the infection is in the kidneys. She gave us the antibiotic (5 bottles!!!) and we headed home.

Sal was content to play inside all day - we laid down and watched Blues Clues and then a marathon COPS.

Today she was better - I did send her to camp because she was really pushing to go and it was all day swim - but instructed her aide - to call for ANYTHING. Thus - I'm home this weekend. I just didn't feel comfortable leaving her. You know she'll be fine - but if I had left it would have been in her kidneys - that's just the way things seem to work sometimes.

So my sister is bummed - and I am too. I really wish I could do something for her -but there's really nothing. It's just a LONG rough journey and boy do *I* know it.

The tale from the Dr's appt - you can't go anywhere with Sal that something out of the ordinary doesn't happen. 1st - she wanted to know what the light was for - I'm sure there's a tech name - but she was talking about the light the Dr saddles up to your private area when you're getting a pap smear. When I *delicately* told her what it was for - she gave me a look like I had just told her that for dinner we would be dining on her brother. It was hysterical! I tried to rationalize it with "all women have to go through it". I still think there's some question about her mother's mental health now.

On the way out we got her Rx and the receptionist said "so this is Sally". I had not seen her before and since Wilk left we really hadn't been to the Dr as much. Turned out it was Mrs Einhorn's (teacher at Salk) daughter. I'm not kidding when I say every place you go with Sal - someone knows her. :-)

Bill and I tagged teamed the house today and made a lot of headway. That way we can "play" all weekend and not feel *that* guilty. We need to re-do the pool because *someone* put it up inside out! :-)

Jack is outside for the 2nd night selling stuff in the street. :-) He sold Popsicles last night and tonight it's lemon-aid. He came in all ticked off at Tommy because "he was getting lemon-aide free and he wasn't even working". Those kids play outside from the time they get home till the time they go to bed. We decided tonight we'd run for ice-cream before bed and maybe take a drive.

My Dad's good friend Squirt died yesterday. Dad's kind of down. Even though Squirt had been pretty sick at the end - it's still sad. He was 86. Six weeks ago he was still playing golf. Don't you hope you can go out like that.

"Some" People (not Patty) =)

2009-06-29T07:41:00.003-05:00

There are some people in life who just HAVE to make trouble. I think they're referred to as "sh*t stirrers". It's kind of like they're so miserable that they have to make others that way too? Or is it their way of creating drama and therefore giving them something to be pissy about? Or is it that they want so bad to control things that this is the way for them to do it? I think I was like this when I was younger. It was the control thing. I wanted everything to be perfect. Oh how STUPID I was. =) And my, how Sally has put THAT into perspective! :-)

But now I have to deal with people like this. The thing is - it's really quite sad. Sure it's maddening and ticks me off - but it's more sad than anything. I think that's another gift I rec'd with Sal. I can see more deeply into things - I have the time. She really has given me the gift of time. You absolutely cannot rush with Sal - you cannot over schedule. But you must schedule. It's a very crazy life.

Sally's doing well this summer. Summer is very hard for her because there is no set schedule like in school. But camp helps with that a little. She has a GREAT aide at camp too. Jenny (another Jenny) :-) She lets Sally BE Sally. If Sal cries she lets her and just patiently waits and explains what's going on. There are no phone calls to me at work. There are no time outs and talk of "not swimming tomorrow". There was evidently some problems a couple of weeks ago about not following directions but it was only mentioned to me at the end of the day and it was said kind of like "we handled it". Sally seems very happy to be there. Jenny seems very happy to have Sal - *I'm* VERY happy to go to work! :-)

FREEEEEEEE

2009-06-22T08:26:00.003-05:00

That's right, baseball season for us (Thunder) is over!!! And I'm VERY happy about it! Now, excuse me while I get on my horse for a moment. If you are one of those parents that yells during the game and criticizes the ump, your kid, or your coach - please go somewhere else - or no, better yet - read and LEARN!!!!

Baseball is a GAME!!!! GAME!!!! GAME!!! Same as Sorry, Chutes and Ladders, Kickball - are you getting this - there is NOTHING that you gain for winning your season, or a particular game. My family happens to be VERY close to a gentleman who pitched the winning World Series Game for the Giants (don't ask me the year). I don't believe ANYONE knows him for that. What I'm trying to say is that he still pays the same as we do for a cup of coffee. His Mom still gets ticked when he forgets Mother's Day and she doesn't remember all his baseball stuff but remembers that he was a good speller or that he could feed the hogs faster than the others. He was one of 8 children - he doesn't stand out any more than the others because he played professional ball. And most people you talk to wouldn't even know his name.

Now, lets talk stats. Statistics say that your kid probably won't even make their High School team - let alone play professionally. AND there's a LOT of ugliness getting to professional ball. I dated a young man when he was in the minors and it was a LOT of EXTRA work - like watering the field and stuff like that - it wasn't all glamorous batting practice and interviews.

So, I ask you - why do you take this very fun game and make it something that is no longer fun? Why do you bicker at the umpire. When you sign your kid up to play you are basically saying that you will accept the umpire's decision - kind of like when you play Sorry and choose your piece - you don't get to decide in the middle that you'd rather be green or yellow because red isn't working out for you.

I can already see that I may not be allowed to go to games anymore. I hear from everyone around me that it gets worse as they get older. ughhhh. So, I broke one of my rules this weekend. I have always tried to live by the rule of "Good Mother's teach their children HOW to think - not WHAT to think" - but this weekend I def. told Jack HOW to think about how the adults were acting at the game.

There's another question that I have for some of you mothers - when your kid brings home a good essay or report card or something from school - do you cheer and give the same positive attention that you do when he/she does something good on the playing field? And if you don't' - what kind of message do you think you're sending? Hmmmmmmm - you can't blame society for putting SO much into sports when you, yourself have started it from a VERY young age.

So that is my little soapbox/high horse speech. My father has always said, since I was WAY young that LL games should be played with no parents/fans. I always thought he was an idiot - I have to say his words are starting to ring true.

More MO

2009-06-16T21:48:00.002-05:00

Went south again this last weekend. My bro-in-law was moved to the hospital in Columbia MO because of infection in his lungs. He was there for almost 2 weeks. They put a trachea tube in his throat so they can suction all that crud out.

I drove south on Saturday morning. I didn't know at the time that they had moved him back to the rehab center. The plan that day was to get there - have a bite with Mom - be my sister's date to a wedding in which her youngest was the best man, get up early Sunday morn and drive to Columbia and then come back to Bbk on Monday morning.

Best laid plans....... The first thing that was up was that the "bridge" going into San Jose was out. I say bridge because that's what the sign said - but I do believe the creek that this bridge (culvert) went over was only about 2 foot wide. But I had to find a way around that. Ugghh. After that little escapade I got to my sister's and my little Mabel dog actually jumped OUT of the passenger side window! I get my crap out of the truck - hang out with the dogs for a couple of minutes and head in. To find my sister getting ready for this wedding already!

So, I got ready and we piled into her car and were off to Quincy (about another hour). The wedding was really beautiful. Lance Musick (Mick's best friend - who've I've known most of his life) and Kristie - who I did not know. But we had a really nice time.

We got home - let Mabes out of the cage and she was off. I did get her back in but she and Ottie decided at 3 a.m. they needed to be outside. I got Ottie back in - but Mabel decided she wanted to hang with the big dogs.

We got up and out of the house by 7 on Sunday and made it to Columbia with no problems - I sat in back ........ with Ottie. That's right we took Ottie to see his daddy. :-) When I emerged from the car it looked like my sweater was cashmere. :-)

Mike was in a GREAT mood. He was up and out in the community room. You should have seen the smile on his face when he saw Ottie. Because of the trache he couldn't talk so it was a full day of charades and wheel of fortune! :-) It was hysterical.

We got home and collapsed. My sister went to work at insane o'clock on Monday and I got up around 6:30 and *tried* to get Mabel in the car. After chasing very close to Cindy's I gave up. Went into Golden, had breakfast ( this was all done without coffee and by this time I was in a *mood*) with the folks and then Dad and I went back out to Missy's to find........ that's right - sitting on the porch just as sweet as could be. I could have killed her. She has no idea how close she was to becoming a farm dog.

So by the time I got to Bolingbrook home looked pretty good. Hubby had cleaned the kitchen and living room and put the downstairs bathroom tile in. Man, it was GOOD to be home.

Summer camp is in full swing. Jack lost a tooth after banging his head playing tag. The tooth was loose anyway.

He made a GREAT play at 2nd last night. I taught him how to "take the plate" tonight and how to stare down a pitcher. Also told him about "meat". :-) Also told him to keep that foot planted. He looks like a Ballerina out there.

Tomorrow is field trip day - they're going to a movie. Hopefully we can get some laundry done this weekend and just take it easy. Maybe even put up the pool. :-)

Clapped Out.

2009-06-09T21:12:00.003-05:00

Sally and the rest of the 5th grade were clapped out of JES today. The 5th graders gather in the gym and the rest of the school then lines the hall ways and the 5th graders parade through the hallways and out the front of the building while all the kids and staff clap. It's very cool and yes, I cried - but I was standing next to Mrs Harvacek and she had a box of kleenex so I was in good company. :-)

Then all the hugs from my team - well, most of the school because they have ALL had a hand in teaching (and learning from) Sally. They have all become part of her family and man are we going to miss them - but I have a feeling we'll keep in touch.

Mrs Gudjonis just got in contact with me and she was Sal's 2nd grade teacher that had moved to Vegas. Her first question "How is our gal Sal?"

I'm planning on making the trip south again this weekend. Then we'll truck over to MO - via our "secrect shortcut" :-) . I'm kind of looking forward to some quiet time on the road. Just me and Mabes again. :-)

I got all the stuff planted last weekend - but had to put everything up front because of my little digger dog.

Transistions

2009-06-02T06:58:00.002-05:00

Bill and I went to observe a program in the district called "Low Incidence" - the one that Sally would go to is housed in Jane Adams. The focus there is more life skill than academics. It's VERY nice. They have a whole kitchen set up to learn to cook and clean up along with washer/dryer. Very interesting.

We did decided, though that we want to continue with the original plan of her going to Humphrey to the Cross Cat. class. The nice thing is - we're not locked into anything - we can call a meeting and do something else at anytime.

Mabel had a tick this morning. It was pretty big, too - which surprised me. She's so short haired that you feel the bump immediately and she usually sits with me enough that I think I would have felt that.

Kyle as in a car accident this weekend. So close to home that he had his blinker on to turn into the driveway. He had a seizure and hit a tree. Things are pretty serious and Lon went to help out.

He's such a good kid and he's been through SO much. Things like this get to me. The whole, why? Why him? When is enough enough?

Mike has been sick and was taken out of rehab and to the hospital. I'm not sure if he's back in rehab now or not.

Feels very gloomy in my life lately.

We Only Argue with an Umpire in Our Mind - right mom?

2009-05-30T15:43:00.002-05:00

Oh - ya just gotta love Jack. He says some of the most profound things. We had baseball at 10 am today. As I've mentioned - the house is up for grabs lately - so finding the mitt and batting gloves was a challenge this morning - so when we get there we're all a little frazzled.

It dawns on Bill that Jack's batting gloves and mitt are with the coach - that at the last game he had told the kids to leave their stuff and go to the concession stand and when Jack and Bill had come back everything was gone and Bill then assumed that the mitt and gloves were with the coach and no biggie - we'll get it next game. Soooooo - Bill asked the coach - nope they don't have anything.

Well, as I may or may not have mentioned previously I am NOT a big fan of this coach. I have really tried to give him the benefit of the doubt - but to be very honest he's gotten worse as the season has gone on. So now Bill is starting to get ticked too.

As with every other game Jack gets to sit out the first time they take the field after batting. It's like a tradition now. And as he's in the dug out - low and behold he finds his batting gloves ---- IN the coaches bag!!!!!! Hmmmmm - interesting - but hey - we'll address things later. Come the 4th inning - Jack is sitting out AGAIN!!!!! Ok - NOW Mom and Dad are pissed. This is still an INSTRUCTIONAL league!!!!!! There are children that have NEVER sat out and guess what - HUGE co-incidence- they're the coaches kids! Hmmmmm

We're in the 5h inning now (we only play 6) and there's a call at 3rd base - Ump calls OUT on our team. Our coach (butt-munch) screams "How so?" Ump says again"Out" and throws up a fist. Our coach (butt-munch) starts screaming again - oh and did I tell you - the ump is ...... a 5th GRADER!!!!! As I said - ours is still an INSTRUCTIONAL league and we have KID umps. Both at plate and outfield. Coach (butt-munch) makes a big huge issue of it and ump now calls safe (almost in tears ) - now here's the real kicker: The ump - well, he's the kid of the coach we're PLAYING and that coach - well, he's on the LLeague board AND was the fall ball coach last year and is VERY good, VERY fair, VERY NON-"my kid is perfect - and that's all I'm here for", and just a all around NICE guy who volunteers a lot with the kids. HE holds his temper - just a couple of sarcastic words that only the adults caught (not coach butt-munch).

After the game there were some words - and coach(butt-munch) would NOT leave it alone! We stayed around because I was almost sure that if Coach Bob didn't hit him his wife was going to. (and personally, I would have helped hold him down).

Bill and I both talked to the ump - who happens to be in Sal's class and, like his parents is a VERY good kid, not a mean bone in the kids' body - seriously - I've always thought the world of him and now I REALLY do.

So, when we get into the car we talk to Jack about how the coach was SOOOO wrong and that's when we were told "yeah, you only argue or correct an umpire in your head, right, mom?" :-) I smiled ALL over myself. He gets it. He really does. I told him again how baseball was a game and that games teach us about life and how we want to live it. We talked about how yes, they won but in a nasty, embarrassing way where feelings were hurt and the victory was lost in all the crap that was done. We also talked about how even adults make mistakes but that the sign of someone really worth their salt is that even if you do loose your temper that you apologize. Which butt-munch, of course, did not.

There is ONE good side to this: Butt-munch is trying to get on the Little League board - well, I don't think that's going to happen now. Like I said - we're not the only ones who like Coach Bob - he's a power player in the league and THIS will NOT sit well with the other members. HoooRAH! Sometimes life IS fair and people DO get what they deserve! :-)

Zoo, Zoo, Zoomy Zoom Zoo

2009-05-30T08:32:00.002-05:00

Bill and I chaperoned the last field trip for our 5th graders to the zoo. We had a RIOT! We had the usual: Quin and Sal and then Brian, Cresada and Diana. Diana I knew from her helping with Sal's projects and Cresada I knew from her riding around the neighborhood with Jacob. We had a TON of fun. We let them do the map and direct us to what THEY wanted to see. They did this VERY well - worked great as a team and listened to what each other wanted.

They stayed together very well, I felt more like *I* was on the field trip and they were chaperoning me. AND they were ALL very aware of time and when we needed to be back at our bus. Really confirmed my faith in kids.

We also had Mike and Karen on the bus with us. Bill decided we'd have a GREAT graduating class - as long as no one moves. :-)

Cresada taught us how to catch grapes in our mouth. Diana taught us how funny it is when you miss the grapes. Quin taught us how sometimes he likes to talk just to talk. Brian didn't say much but smiled all over himself. :-)

We had no electricity for most of the morning before we left and when we got to school we saw the Challenge students having to be told about the darkness and that they shouldn't freak out. Bill turns to me and says "the *gifted* kids have to be *told* that it's dark?" I smiled and Mrs Legner laughed. Mr O is SO into the *gifted* word and how much better his kids are so it was kind of funny.

Lon and I traveled the country last night to be with Annette at the Depot. We have SUCH a good time. Annette is doing so well she hardly has time for book work anymore. THATS a good problem to have!!! Lonnie and her are a riot together. She reminds me a lot of my sister.

So today we do the baseball thing and then I told Bill the house needs an enema. It's bad. I have slacked SO much this last week. It's weird how Mike's status makes stress all through the family.

Mike: My brother-in-law is still at Rusk Rehab and isn't doing as well. He's got some kind of bug and has been on intravenous stuff for the last couple of days. They (staff) had a meeting Wed about his prognosis but I don't think my sister got to talk to anyone. She's been working the overtime pretty good. Her factory may be closing soon. It just seems like more and more bad news from that area. I'm thinking maybe next weekend I can go down again. Wish I could wriggle my nose and be there - I'd live with her for a couple of weeks - just to make her life more crazy. :-)

Lord, grant me the PATIENCE!!!!

2009-05-27T12:39:00.001-05:00

As usual the day started off with children bickering. Jack was especially a grumpus. Nothing was right. But when I picked them up tonight and offered to take him to my office and make a copy of his favorite story out of his reader I was back in his "mother of the year" vote. :-)

So, more about my trip down south. Some history before I tell the tale: My sister (Jill) is 11 years older than I am. When she was 16 she got to take the car (and me - as always) to the movies with explicit instructions to go there and come right home. Well, we didn't. So when we got home I skipped into the house and the folks asked me "how was the movie?"

"Fine, till we hit the ditch" I said.

Soooooooo this last weekend my sister and I were allowed to take my folks' car again - only this time we had to take my Mom. This was my Dad's idea "because of the last time we took the car". :-)

When we set off Jill drove and I got to sit shotgun and be wingman (read the map S) . So, after reading mapquest off to her and driving about 2 1/2 hours she says "oh, this looks familial". Now, this being said - wouldn't you drop your guard and not pay attention to the map anymore? YES, you would - I know you.

So this is what I did. Only after a lot more driving she decides we've gone too far and turns around and then makes a left into what she thinks is Columbia MO. Only it's not. And as we cross the MO river I say "was that the MO river?"

"yes." she says
"I think we're in Jefferson City "
"no, we're not."
"But isn't Jefferson City the capital of Mo? And doesn't that look like a capital building?" I ask seeing a looming domed building on the horizon.
"there are all kinds of buildings like that. Look at Carthage it has a building like that. We're not in Jefferson City."

I then shut up and we make our way to a gas station and when we walk in and my sister begins to get directions she asks "well where are we?"

"you're in Jefferson City ." The two teethed old man replies.

How about that. So then it becomes all my fault because I didn't *say* anything. :-) So I guess my Dad's idea didn't work too well, because my Mom (with her own map in the back seat) didn't say anything either. :-)

We did find Columbia after that and the hospital and settled in for a visit. The trip back to my Mom and Dad's house was non-eventful.

Lord, we have a good time together. It was nice to get out without the hub and the kids too.

My goofy little dog rode on the center console most of the trip south. She likes to see the road and all the goings on. When we came back she slept the whole way. :-)

My nephew(Brad) got a new job. He is now the principal of Carthage High School - only I think they've consolidated with a couple of other schools because they have a name like Western IL or something like that. I didn't get to see him or Mick - I got there too late to go to Gus Macker.

I also forgot to look at my buddy's new Hay Store Building. I'm not exactly sure what they're calling the business - but as we went through Camp Point I forgot all about it. I'm sure I'll get a tour the next time I have some time "back home".

Books to Write

2009-05-26T18:34:00.002-05:00

I traveled south this weekend and my sister and I went to visit my bro-in-law in rehab in MO. As I was driving home to my house on Monday (4 hours ALL to myself - :-) I got to thinking about all of their stuff and decided maybe I should write a book about it all. "Wheelchairs in the Real World". You know, we've heard from Christopher Reeves - what about the average middle class family and how a accident of this proportion "reforms" your life. I'm going to put some words down and see how it goes.

Our visit - well, he can move his hands better - enough to operate the joystick on a wheelchair but not enough to feed himself. He's getting some feeling back but they are still saying about a 20% chance of walking again. I'm really hoping the next 3 weeks have some miracles in store.

As we were sitting and talking before I went home we both realized we were now BOTH in the world of special needs. She had to learn the OT and PT lingo (occupational therapy and physical therapy) , he had a speech therapist visit, we are both riding the information highway on how best to care for our loved one in the future, we both have to purchase special items to help our loved ones succeed and we both worry a lot about the future.

So, I told her "Welcome to Holland" (a special needs poem ) and we both cried. :-)

Mabel (the subject of several children's books I have in mind) cornered a raccoon this weekend. The problem was that the coon was out in the hot middle of the day and he/she wasn't running away - even when Missy got Mabe into the car. So we kept the dogs in till later and when we went outside we found Mr Coon had climbed up into the tree and he was so sickly he wasn't moving. We called Tim to bring his gun over and he shot him out of the tree.

I think Mabel was quite proud of herself. Her and Tiny went out to the pasture that night and barked at the coyotes so they wouldn't come any closer. My, did we feel protected. :-)

Mabel also helped plant the field next to Missy's house. She ran after the tractor just like a farm dog. :-) She also thought she was big stuff because she got Chunk's bone and hid it. She just pranced around with it in her mouth.

She's Really Growing Up!

2009-05-22T11:53:00.002-05:00

Sal went to her first Jr High social last night. It was just for the incoming 6th graders. She was a little intimidated at first - she didn't want me to leave - but then she spotted Connie from down the street and globed on to her. She then turned to me and said "Ok, you leave".

Don't ask me why - but as I was walking down the hall I started crying. Lord, I'm a mess. Sal started her school life at the tender age of 3. I put her on a bus knowing she had a 45 minute ride to school - never shed a tear. Kindergarten came and went - still nothing. But at a stupid social I'm bawling like someone has just taken my baby. CRAZY!

So this morning I asked her how it went. I had dropped her off and then went to a Lia Sophia party at my friendly farmer's house. :-) She was in bed by the time I got home. So I asked her how things went and who she hung out with. From what I could get out of her she had a good time and she met a new boy, Ryan, from another school!!!! ;-) So I was happy that she is already making new friends.

Jack got a HIT at baseball last night!!! A double! And guess what - I wasn't watching! I was talking to another Mom! :-/ Ok, unless Bill is with me, I rarely talk to people - not that I'm rude - if they talk - I talk - but I don't seek people out usually like Bill does. But this lady was there from last time and we had talked before and she had her dog with her and I was admiring her dog. So, as I sat back down to watch - I noticed Jack was on 3rd! Did he get a hit? I ask? Another Mom says "yeah, a double"! Holy Cow! Jack has been SO upset lately because he hasn't gotten a hit. So THIS is the secret - I just can't watch! :-)

And for another chapter in the Mabel story: Mabel finds a wasp nest. Up inside of our grill is a very small wasp nest - maybe even bee - I don't know - they don't really bother us but Mabel has found them and puts her nose right in the hole and howls at them. It is funny - as soon as any of them move she pulls her nose out and jumps. It's funny to watch.

I'm planning on going south this weekend to visit my sister and then ride with her to see her hubby - who I hear, is wheeling around in an electric wheel chair. (which is scary - knowing how he drives a vehicle). But I can't decide if I should take Mabel or not. I know she would LOVE to go running in the country again. We'll have to see.

Mabel Mabel Mabel

2009-05-21T14:28:00.002-05:00

I swear I have to write a book about Mabel. "Mabel Goes To School" - now you're thinking I'm making that title up - Nope. You're thinking "well, she went over to the school yard and was playing with the kids". Nope. She got IN the grade school (before the kids got there) and was running through the halls. The janitor cornered her and called Animal Control. When I pick Mabel up from Animal Control (and I've done this MANY times) you can tell right away that she's there - there's this one lone howl... ughhh.

Mabel went to a birthday party last weekend. No, she wasn't invited and no, she didn't bring a gift. But she got a piece of pizza anyway.

Mabel visited the neighbor dog this morning (Scooter Pie - I added the pie). Scooter usually likes Mabel - they run back and forth in the back yard with the fence between them - BUT when Mabel squeezed UNDER the fence and was in Scooter Pie's face - well, then he didn't think too much of Mabel. She'll squeeze back under for a piece of bacon.

Mabel jumped over the railing of the deck today. Thought for sure she was going to hang herself - I grabbed the other end of the chain as fast as I could and when I leaned over the railing to see how she was - here she was looking up at me with that "what?" face she does so well.

Mabel likes to take George Monkey off of Sally's bed WHEN she's playing school with him and race to the living room with Sally in the chase SCREAMING at her.

Mabel likes to eat toothpaste and will stretch as high as she can to try and get the tube off the counter or even lick the counter if someone forgets to wipe up drips.

Mabel LOVES coffee and if someone forgets this and absentmindedly leaves their cup on the coffee table it will be gone when you come back.

Mabel loves to lay in the sun and is especially fond of the new deck furniture. She will find the smallest crack of sunlight, drag her cushion over to it and lay all curled up in it.

Mabel likes to wrestle and play "bite girl" with Jack. She plays "pinned" and when you let her up she jumps as high as she can and bites whatever is in the vicinity of her teeth. Usually one of Jack's fingers.

Mabel LOVES to chase birds and is very determined to catch one. She even watches them out the window and then howls till they either fly away or get out of her sight.

Mabel does just enough tricks just enough times to keep Daddy thinking she can stay.

SIGH!!!

2009-04-22T12:37:00.004-05:00

Well, it's been a while huh? Life has been just a tad busy. We've seen the end of tax season, Easter holiday with family down "south", said goodbye to Rexie, produced and put together a 5th grade science project, went to the Little League opener (lost), attended Jr High open house - and lastly - but surely the BIGGEST - got through Sal's transition meeting!!!

Meeting was this morning. I was DREADING it! Thank GOD for my team from Salk. Dang, are they good. Mrs Legner asked questions and suggested things before I could even think. It's SO great to have her there. In these meetings I feel very overwhelmed and am usually just reeling with all the information put out and hardly have the sense to ask all the questions I have. Mrs Legner comes in and asks the very same questions I have and puts into my language what's going on. As a team we have decided that Sally will go into a cross cat class next year. She will still be with her "reg" classmates in PE and lunch but will be with children at her curriculum level for Lang Arts and Math. These classes are just like "reg" classes - in that they (the kids) switch every hour and such. So instead of going to biology or algebra class - Sal will go to Lang Arts in what they call a "cross cat" classroom. I really think things are going to go well. It's almost scary. In fact, on the way out of school Bill and I wondered if we had missed something because things went so smoothly.

I can't help but be in tears today. I think it's the combination of being so "up tight" about the meeting today and the fact that my tiny little 5.8 pound baby is now going into Jr High!!

At the open house last night they had a raffle and of course our little wishing wizard, Sally, won a back pack with Humphrey Jr High on it. She was SO proud (and Jack was So jealous).

Rexie the cat has been taken to Animal Control. She was really having a hard time lately with Mabel and took to putting "messes" all over the bathroom downstairs. Bill ran into an Animal Control lady last week and was talking to her about it and she said it would prob be best if Rexie found a new home AND she had just the home in mind. So on Sunday we said "see ya later, Rex." I was never a REAL big fan of Rexie, so I didn't have quite the goodbye of Sadie. :-)

Mabel has really turned a corner. She's getting much better. I think she's realized that she's next on the "pet evacuation" list. :-) I did happen to mention to her that I put down the very best dog in the whole wide world - I wouldn't bat an eye putting her down if she doesn't shape up. :-) (just kidding - don't go all PETA on me) :-)

Baseball began. Jack did well. He was angry that he never got on base. We tried to tell him that it's harder when someone your age is pitching to you. He did his usual Jack grumpus and walked away. Lord, give me strength.

Easter, where to begin. Bill, Jack and I (oh, and Mabel) started out Friday morning to Grandma's where we picked up Sally and proceeded to Aunt Jill's. "The Gang" then joined us that evening - Kennedy, Lincoln, Lex and Mad Dog along with parents - we all ate dinner and then colored eggs.

My Sister, the Egg Nazi, who usually only gets about 3 eggs per child - had 51/2 dozen eggs for us to color. Of course the children allowed them to sit in the dye for about 3 seconds and then proceeded to the next egg. So when they all went outside to play - *I* got to "re-dye" the one's that I wanted. :-)

It was a nice time. The "cousins" all play nicely - well, as nicely as maniac's. :-) They were upstairs, in the basement, outside - just all over being their crazy selves. The volume was such that when they went outside I thought I had gone deaf.

Mabel was in HEAVEN! She ran and ran and ran. Played with Tiny (the St Bernard) and Chunk (the Husky) and just smelled her brains out. She also got to meet her first cow. She stood on one side and the cows on the other and she barked and howled till they ran at her and then she took off and ran straight over and hid behind Tiny. My sister's house provides loads of entertainment without tv. :-)

So on Sunday the whole gang assembled again along with Aunt T and Mike's family and then Grandma and Grandpa. My Sister cooked up a storm as usual. She always side-steps the compliments on her food, saying it's no big deal. Well, it is to ME and granted we're not a picky family - but she really does a nice spread.

When we drove home on Monday, Sally AND Mabel slept!!!! Mabel slept the whole day and the whole night through. I couldn't figure out if she was so tired or depressed to have to be back on a chain again.

Through all this craziness I have managed to "kind of" keep up on the house. We had some major overhauling on Monday. Got a lot accomplished. So now we turn our eyes to Spring. I plan to get out summer clothes next Monday AND take a trip to Humphrey to sit in on a cross cat class. I'm really hoping next year goes as well as this year did. I can't imagine saying goodbye to my team (all of them). Jonas Salk has been a FANTASTIC place for Sal. It's so VERY hard to say good-bye.

2009-04-14T06:47:00.003-05:00

There are some CRAZY things to report. The first being that Uncle Mike (my sister's husband) is in the hospital and very well may be paralyzed from the arms down. He fell off a ladder on Wednesday night and was air lifted to the hospital. They operated and removed some discs in his spine and replaced them with a plate. But there is a LOT of bruising on the spine and this is the issue of whether he will walk or not.

My sister is something. I think I would have collapsed by now. When it all was first happening she said she thought about me and all the decisions I had to make about Sally and understood. The only thing is - I don't decide about a "do not resuscitate" issue, or life changing things!!!!

I've asked a dozen times if I should go down and she's said "there's nothing for you to do". Well, I hadn't planned on DOING anything - but just "being there". :-) We decided it best for me to wait till he comes home - when she'll need to be a nurse - and then go down and stay with them just to make sure she doesn't kill him. :-) Like me, she is NOT a nurse. :-)

I wonder if that says more about us than we realize that maybe we see our spouses as so much a part of us and that we don't really nurse or nurture ourselves that we don't for them - almost a self-loathing thing? I don't know - too early for Freud today.

I guess I've never really got bad news on the phone before - I mean out of the blue bad news. All the time she was telling me what happened and what was going on I kept thinking "well, when is she going to say "April Fool" - enough already - this CAN'T be right - she's pulling my leg, right" But she wasn't - it really happened. It's just CRAZY how your life can turn upside down in one instant. People say that about death - but this is almost worse.

In the meantime we had a "mapping meeting" about Sally - in which she got to attend. We (the team from JES and Humphrey) discussed what she needed from us, as parents and them as teachers to have a good year next year, be prepared for HS and to eventually participate in the real world.

Sally was funny. I don't' think she really got it and I wouldn't advise that we include her again - but she did get to see what we do monthly and what "meetings" were like. Every time someone said her name she'd quietly point to herself and say "that's me". :-)

The little sooth sayer told me (after I got off the phone with my sister the first time) that Uncle Mike would be in the hospital for 3 weeks. After all that's happened - it looks like that is just about right. How does she DO that????

Jack has been playing ball and not doing too well at the plate. Mostly it's because of lack of practice. He needs to be pitched to by a kid - not a coach, not a machine - a kid - just like in the game and he needs to do it over and over and over. The pitching at this age is horrible and I don't want him to get into bad habits of taking anything that's thrown at him - but tell the coach that. :-/ Coach also tells them to "smack the ball" - I could just kick him for that. ANY contact with the ball would probably produce a base hit. WHY do we make bad habits just to WIN?? Ugghhh - don't get me started.

Last night Jacob (Sal's friend) and wanted to know if we had seen Tory (another of Sal's friends) - that he was "lost". No, we hadn't seen him. At 3 a.m. the Bbk Police called and asked if we had seen him - he had gotten into a fight with his Mom and was still missing - they were calling all the kids in his class. It was WAY hard to sleep after that!!! Jacob just came by and they had found Tory over at the library - he was waiting for it to open! Thank God he's ok!

Jack plays ball again today - and then I promised him and I could play pitch and catch and practice batting. I love to play pitch and catch.

Some other things that have been happening is that Sal won 2nd place in the Softball Throw in Special Olympics last weekend! She was SO excited! She also placed 4th in the 100 meter run.

My Sister, THE Star

2009-04-05T17:07:00.002-05:00

My sister starred in the play "The Kitchen Witches" for the Windmill Follies this year. I got to see the final performance (it runs for 3 weekends). It was REALLY good! It is SO funny and SO my sister. She plays the part of Dolly Biddle and has to do a Ukrainian and a Southern accent. She was very good.

I took Sal down to my Mom and Dad's so she can spend Spring Break with them and then her and I went to the play that night. It is done with dinner. So you eat your salad - watch act 1 eat your roast beef, potatoes and gravy, green beans and roll - see act 2 and then eat your desert and see act 3. It was about 3 1/2 long - Sal sat through the whole thing and really got into it. She laughed when they through flour and salt around the stage and when Debbie called Aunt Jill a turkey she looked back and me and said giggling "Aunt Jill's a turkey." But when Aunt Jill's character has to go to the hospital Sal was a little tense and I had to remind her that it was only a story - that Aunt Jill and Debbie were pretending.

On the way to the car she said "that was fun. Ask me if I had a good time."

"Did you have a good time, Sal?"

"yes. Ask me what my favorite part was."

"What was your favorite part, Sal?"

"The second one."

I think she was talking about when Aunt Jill came out in a Scarlet O'Hara dress and hat complete with fan.

Sally was not too pleased with the gravy. She kind of wrinkled her nose and said "it's not Aunt Jill's." :-)

So I drove home by myself today. Almost 4 hours of radio that *I* wanted and at a volume that suited *me* and NO talking and NO listening. I thought about making a run for the Indiana border. :-)

So we go back to work tomorrow. The house is very different. No Sadie, no Sally. It's like pieces of me are missing. I am glad I listened to Taloola this weekend and did something for me. That play was really good and it felt good to laugh.

4 Daves

A Weekend to top ALL Weekends

It's *that* time again.....

Cops: Bolingbrook Flag Football

Looking Forward to Less

The Week

3 Year Evaluation

Jack Jack Jack

Ancestors

Finally!

Life goes on so bleck and then out of nowhere you're cheered

NOT for the PETA Crowd

Had a Nice Keaster!

Basketball is OVER!

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming......

Basketball

Stressed

Rough Times

Sad

Life is Good

The Games We Play

So This Is Christmas

What is it with Parents?

These Are the Days

He Was Ripped Off!

The Future

Looser Mom

Swimming

A Lesson Learned

This is why I'm so VERY thankful for JBSRA. They take Sal and engage her and give me a break. They cherish her as I do and thus *I* get a break, knowing that not only is she learning but also having a great time and being cared for by someone who has patience with her.

Football

Helping With Reading

Magic Class Truly Magical

Mabel Blog

Sick

13 years ago

Fall Returns!

School's IN!!!

School Registration

Parents of children with autism: We struggle alone - KansasCity.com

Friends from the Hood

Vacation Cont.

Vacation

Oh the Places You'll Go

What Should I Be?

The 4th and All

Catch Up

Blah......

THE Boy's Birthday

Humor

The Junk Yard

Sally's in Print!

Easter With US

Easter on the West Side

Natalie Needs a Nightie

Stuffed Head

On the Run, Run, Run

Hundreds come together for Mike Gooding Benefit - WGEM.com: Quincy News, Weather, Sports, and Radio

We were on Channel 10 News!

Saturday was a DAY

Mabel Goes To Jail

Mike Gooding Benefit

4 Daves: Mike Gooding Benefit!

Mike Gooding Benefit!

Sigh

Some More Time

New Year!!!?????

Thank God It's Over

Christmas, Shristmas

"On Holiday"

Nutcracker was a ball-buster

Jr High

Tiny is a STAR!

Fall Colors - 10/24/09

Some Spec Need Parents SUCK

Project Choices

Swim Team

Full, Full Weeks

What a Weekend!

Sooooooo Much

It's that time again.....

This is why I'm so VERY thankful for JBSRA. They take Sal and engage her and give me a break. They cherish her as I do and thus I get a break, knowing that not only is she learning but also having a great time and being cared for by someone who has patience with her.